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Top Funny Quotes <-- USS Arrow


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As he hit the doorway to one of the shuttlebays, the doors opened to one of the most blinding, hideously garish ships he had ever seen in his life. The sight of it would have been bad enough, making him have to narrow his eyes, but even worse was the immediate realization that there was only one person he knew that would fly a ship that ludicrously, horridly inefficient.

oO Oh no Oo

Oh Yeah GIF

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Niac: Skipper...you're punishing yourself...probably damn well torturing yourself...because you're demanding things of yourself you'd never expect from anyone else. And because you're resentful that you lack superhuman foresight or the ability to alter the flow of time, you're viewing the world through a cracked lens. You've made choices that have saved lives. You've brought your ship home, battered but unbroken, dozens of times, with the mission honors to fill a museum. You've taken a ship with an obscured history and given it a proud legacy most crews would envy. And more than that...the crew respects the hell out of you.

unbreakable kimmy schmidt request GIF

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Collins: =/\= I....well....would you believe me if I said it was originally The Captain's idea? =/\=

Aaaand that's when it went from bad to hilariously worse. 

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In the right back corner of the room, the Dabo table was hot, and the Ardbeg was smokey. The location was great because he could watch the entire place. Darrell was on a winning streak, and then the Nausicans rolled up to his table. 

That's how every Federation horror movie starts: And then...the Nausicans came.... 

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Behold, the majestic Starfleet Captain in all his glory!

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Shayne: ::unintelligible grunting noises::

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Niac: 'And Somehow It Worked...' should be the title of a book about Starfleet History.  We've all had so many near misses and close calls over the years that sometimes moments like this..::Karrod gestured around them, to the peaceful promenade and tranquil little drink stall::...barely seem real.  But that probably makes them that much more important...reminds of why we do the job.  

☝️

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Niac:  The future?  Oh, I stopped trying to predict that right around the time Niac showed up in my life.  Had it all planned out, too...nice relaxing position at a civilian shipping firm for a few years, little place to myself with a well stocked bar and library.  Even considered picking up a hobby or two.  But that didn't sit well with my new co-pilot...::Karrod prodded his midsection::...and here I am, right back out on the tip of the spear.  How about you?  Making big plans?  

old man disney GIF

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Shayne: My family went to a restaurant once. The waiter was drunk or high or simply having a bad day; he carried our soup to us, but the bowls were overfull. We watched as thick droplets of bisque spattered upon our shirts and pants. When the manager came over, he was mortified. He offered to give us the meal for free. “It’s on me”, he said courteously. My father dutifully replied “No thanks, it’s already on us”. 

Joke Drums GIF by Bax Music

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Gott: Not your business!?  This is exactly your business!  This should be your only business!  Think about it...this Doctor made an attempt to open negotiations with you!  She went out of her way to create a comfortable setting for you, suggesting she's done some research on her acquisition target and she's open to discussing terms!  
 

Uhhhh....did I just adopt a Gorn...?

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1 hour ago, Talia Ohnari said:

Uhhhh....did I just adopt a Gorn...?

It's an Ohnari tradition!

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Connor hated the little sun. Why would a sun dance on the beach? He started to walk around the table to stay awake. He started to count the laps to distract his mind from the situation that seemed infuriating to his sleep-deprived mind.

MY LIFE ON HOLD!!!

Represent Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

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Shayne: There’s no one I’d rather wake up in an ice bath with. Though this resort sounds very spiffy and well run. They might even have fig leaves for us. Coming? 

I have several questions....but I will get the organ re-grow tank prepped. 

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 I enjoyed @Karrod Niac's description here:

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Niac:  I've never really had a problem with alien cuisine before but I never tried something that looked like a combination of a bat and a yam before, either.  Very nicely seasoned. Crunchy.  ::He groaned again::  And possibly more lethal than the guy let on.

But I really loved @Talia Ohnari's reaction here:

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Ohnari: Are you often swayed by nicely seasoned yam-bat...?

 

Also, once she called it "yam-bat" it seemed several times more plausible as a concept. I'm not sure how that happened.

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