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Paul Sharpe

Funny things heard on the USS Gorkon

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Mek'Tul: I am Petty Officer 3rd Class Mek'Tul. Son of Kortok, House of Tenalor. Ranger medic, Klingon Warrior, and slayer of virtue.  
 
::There was a short pause, Mek'Tul considered it only befitting.:: 
 
Petty Officer 3rd Class Mek'Tul
Simmed by
Ensign Sera zh' Aella
2

A moment of silence, please, for the glory of Mek'tul.

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zh’Aella: o0 Only two sexes but a multitude of spoons. Oo

Ensign Sera zh' Aella
Engineering Officer
USS Gorkon
V239107TZ0

Don't tell her about the knives!

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...the Gorkon, and those inside her, had been knocked around worse than Klingons at a bachelor party.

Ensign Elias Burke

 

Sounds like a fun time :w00t:

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::Moments later there was a second, bigger squelch and Tasha felt herself be propelled out of the creature and across the room. She crashed into the wall and tumbled to the ground. She rolled onto her side and vomited, expelling a large quantity of golden fluid which slid across the ground and was absorbed by the creature that had held her.::

 Ensign Tasha MacFarlane

 

Nothing like a good old space-regeneration inside a liquified space-being that reabsorbs space-vomit.

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::Ayiana stood back and watched. If Nohx messed this up, or turned the Admiral into a vegetable, his career would be over before it began.::

anxious-gif-25.gif

 

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No pressure. :)

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::However, Eerie wasn't the shy 600 pound Ensign that had first stepped on the USS Aurora those almost 7 years ago.::

Lt. Commander Eerie

 

The Commander has since been on a diet and now he weighs a svelte 590lbs :whistling:

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Vess: Look like one of my exes…

::It was like some kind of starfish from hell.  It was huge,::

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MacFarlane: Computer, turn the lights on, we need to talk about your lasagne. It is not good enough…

I actually want to see this conversation.

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"Gie him strong drink until he wink,
That's sinking in despair;
An' liquor guid to fire his bluid,
That's prest wi' grief and care:
There let him bouse, an' deep carouse,
Wi' bumpers flowing o'er,
Till he forgets his loves or debts,
An' minds his griefs no more."

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The pulsar normally emits more than enough tetryons to satisfy the lifeforms, and solanogen has been “leaking” into n-space for millions of years. A starship passing through is simply like a dessert for the Starfish - a lot of power in a compact form.

This isn't necessarily funny on its face, but when I consider the fact that Ayiana could have said something like "high-protein energy bar" or "calorie dense meal" instead of "dessert" it makes me laugh because I picture the starfish as some huge, fat guy chasing flying honeybuns with twinkies for nacelles around the nebula, lol.

giphy.gif

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Ally: Da, where’s Harley’s weenie?

::Alucard’s spoon clattered across the table. 

 

I too spat my spoon across the table. I was not expecting to see that age old question in a sim involving Ice Cream.

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Stoyer:  Hey you’re a girl! 

Thanks. Its kind of hard to miss...

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On 11/3/2017 at 8:45 AM, Elias Burke said:

This isn't necessarily funny on its face, but when I consider the fact that Ayiana could have said something like "high-protein energy bar" or "calorie dense meal" instead of "dessert" it makes me laugh because I picture the starfish as some huge, fat guy chasing flying honeybuns with twinkies for nacelles around the nebula, lol.

Don't make me photoshop that.

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4 hours ago, Ayiana said:

Don't make me photoshop that

Lol 😂 I dare you

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::Tales of Vess were bandied about on the ship through the junior crew, but one could never tell whether they were true or not. One audacious rumour Jo had delighted in spreading was that Vess didn’t get assimilated by the Borg, he assimilated them.::

Lieutenant (JG) Jocelyn Marshall

 

Alucard Vess Facts

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Tis true.

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::Katie  was just a little transfixed by the sun glinting off the Caitian’s fur.::
 
Vayne: oO Soft kitty, warm ki… No, you’re a Starfleet officer! Oo
 
OMG! That’s racist! . . . right?
 
 

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Huh, don'tknow why I wrote "sun" since they were on the Bridge.  It was supposed to be just "lights"

Edited by Alucard Vess

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On 1/10/2018 at 4:54 AM, Elias Burke said:
::Katie  was just a little transfixed by the sun glinting off the Caitian’s fur.::
 
Vayne: oO Soft kitty, warm ki… No, you’re a Starfleet officer! Oo
 
OMG! That’s racist! . . . right?
 
 

I think that it is in some odd way racist, yes.

Although still very amusing.

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How is a nursery rhyme about a cat racist?

Edited by Alucard Vess

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Reynolds: I'm an admiral. You'd have to be someone actually important for me to have heard of you.

 

BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!!!

Edited by Ayiana
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