gorkon Funny things heard on the USS Gorkon

[Lindsay Richards]

On 7/30/2017 at 5:32 PM, Trellis Vondaryan said:

Someone's a Jim Butcher fan. 

Shhhhh!!!!

[Jo Marshall]

Quote

Mek'Tul: I am Petty Officer 3rd Class Mek'Tul. Son of Kortok, House of Tenalor. Ranger medic, Klingon Warrior, and slayer of virtue.  

 

::There was a short pause, Mek'Tul considered it only befitting.:: 

 

Petty Officer 3rd Class Mek'Tul

Simmed by

Ensign Sera zh' Aella

2

A moment of silence, please, for the glory of Mek'tul.

[Jo Marshall]

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zh’Aella: o0 Only two sexes but a multitude of spoons. Oo

Ensign Sera zh' Aella
Engineering Officer
USS Gorkon
V239107TZ0

Don't tell her about the knives!

[+ Sera zh' Aella]

Quote

...the Gorkon, and those inside her, had been knocked around worse than Klingons at a bachelor party.

Ensign Elias Burke

 

Sounds like a fun time 

[Jo Marshall]

Quote

 

::Moments later there was a second, bigger squelch and Tasha felt herself be propelled out of the creature and across the room. She crashed into the wall and tumbled to the ground. She rolled onto her side and vomited, expelling a large quantity of golden fluid which slid across the ground and was absorbed by the creature that had held her.::

 Ensign Tasha MacFarlane

 

Nothing like a good old space-regeneration inside a liquified space-being that reabsorbs space-vomit.

[+ Nohx]

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::Ayiana stood back and watched. If Nohx messed this up, or turned the Admiral into a vegetable, his career would be over before it began.::

 

[Ayiana Sevo]

No pressure.

[+ Sera zh' Aella]

Quote

::However, Eerie wasn't the shy 600 pound Ensign that had first stepped on the USS Aurora those almost 7 years ago.::

Lt. Commander Eerie

 

The Commander has since been on a diet and now he weighs a svelte 590lbs 

[Elias Burke]

Vess: Look like one of my exes…

::It was like some kind of starfish from hell.  It was huge,::

[+ Nohx]

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MacFarlane: Computer, turn the lights on, we need to talk about your lasagne. It is not good enough…

I actually want to see this conversation.

[Piravao sh'Qynallahr]

2 hours ago, Nohx said:

I actually want to see this conversation.

I'm sure I can whip something up. 

[+ Trellis Vondaryan]

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Sacramental Scotch.

What sort of sacrament does one say to that?

[Quinn Reynolds]

"Gie him strong drink until he wink,
That's sinking in despair;
An' liquor guid to fire his bluid,
That's prest wi' grief and care:
There let him bouse, an' deep carouse,
Wi' bumpers flowing o'er,
Till he forgets his loves or debts,
An' minds his griefs no more."

[Elias Burke]

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The pulsar normally emits more than enough tetryons to satisfy the lifeforms, and solanogen has been “leaking” into n-space for millions of years. A starship passing through is simply like a dessert for the Starfish - a lot of power in a compact form.

This isn't necessarily funny on its face, but when I consider the fact that Ayiana could have said something like "high-protein energy bar" or "calorie dense meal" instead of "dessert" it makes me laugh because I picture the starfish as some huge, fat guy chasing flying honeybuns with twinkies for nacelles around the nebula, lol.

[Piravao sh'Qynallahr]

Ally: Da, where’s Harley’s weenie?

::Alucard’s spoon clattered across the table. 

 

I too spat my spoon across the table. I was not expecting to see that age old question in a sim involving Ice Cream.

[Ayiana Sevo]

Quote

Stoyer:  Hey you’re a girl! 

Thanks. Its kind of hard to miss...

[Ayiana Sevo]

On 11/3/2017 at 8:45 AM, Elias Burke said:

This isn't necessarily funny on its face, but when I consider the fact that Ayiana could have said something like "high-protein energy bar" or "calorie dense meal" instead of "dessert" it makes me laugh because I picture the starfish as some huge, fat guy chasing flying honeybuns with twinkies for nacelles around the nebula, lol.

Don't make me photoshop that.

[Elias Burke]

4 hours ago, Ayiana said:

Don't make me photoshop that

Lol 😂 I dare you

[+ Sera zh' Aella]

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::Tales of Vess were bandied about on the ship through the junior crew, but one could never tell whether they were true or not. One audacious rumour Jo had delighted in spreading was that Vess didn’t get assimilated by the Borg, he assimilated them.::

Lieutenant (JG) Jocelyn Marshall

 

Alucard Vess Facts

[Vylaa]

Tis true.

[Elias Burke]

::Katie  was just a little transfixed by the sun glinting off the Caitian’s fur.::

 

Vayne: oO Soft kitty, warm ki… No, you’re a Starfleet officer! Oo

 

OMG! That’s racist! . . . right?

 

 

[Vylaa]

Huh, don'tknow why I wrote "sun" since they were on the Bridge.  It was supposed to be just "lights"

Edited January 10, 2018 by Alucard Vess

[Piravao sh'Qynallahr]

On 1/10/2018 at 4:54 AM, Elias Burke said:

::Katie  was just a little transfixed by the sun glinting off the Caitian’s fur.::

 

Vayne: oO Soft kitty, warm ki… No, you’re a Starfleet officer! Oo

 

OMG! That’s racist! . . . right?

 

 

I think that it is in some odd way racist, yes.

Although still very amusing.

[Vylaa]

How is a nursery rhyme about a cat racist?

Edited January 12, 2018 by Alucard Vess

[Ayiana Sevo]

Quote

 

Reynolds: I'm an admiral. You'd have to be someone actually important for me to have heard of you.

 

BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!!!

Edited January 26, 2018 by Ayiana