Sedrin Belasi

((Time Warp: The Day After the Wedding: The Free Spirit)) ::The day kept coming, though each year seemed shortened enough that the intervals between shrank with each new arrival. Alahndra ordered her first drink. Gin. Gin martini, gin and tonic, gin and juice... Didn't matter. oOPoison either way you look at it.Oo She took a swallow and stared into her cup. Gin was the closest thing she could get to the herb-infused alcohol Deltans served at weddings, birth celebrations, and funerals.:: ::Usually she refrained from drinking on this day. But she felt as if something within had loosed, and she couldn't figure a way to put things right.:: oO Seeing Sedrin made me feel too much. Oh. My heart will burst... Oo oO NO! Oo ::The vehemence of the silent command shocked her.:: oO Am I so weak? Have I been running all this time? Yes... Yes... Oo ::She sat and stared blankly as she finished two drinks.:: oO Running, never aware that I could not ultimately escape the tides... The tides that threaten... Threatening to deface; destroy; empty my insides into the tides... The tides that threaten-- Oo ::Pause:: oO A sea. A storm. Lightening striking the water, the fish aglow in the depths; oh Father was there, working the sails as we, cowering below the old strung up sack used to hold the day's catch, watched the waves to either side grow into leviathans and shrink into the mists, the clouds swirl above the head and feel the Drip, Drip of the pattering outlaying droplets began to fall, and he said it was only a small squall. oO Very young, I was--perhaps four, five. As natural a man as I ever saw, laughing at the wind, calling her Bayoone, You Cannot Have These Bones. He sang to the rain, and I didn't look away; he sang the song that lingers in the tides. Wondered what kind of man was he--not the Father I knew--never that free or alive or -- no, I didn't want to leave Sewa's decks because there I had seen him first and last. oO Did anyone know his actions would lead -- no, no one. There are no written histories of the future, but doom filled me because I saw the light in his eyes as it flashed off the waves and the tempest billowed his clothes. Not a man I knew, nor ever was to. That, with his past nothing but a painful veil none was so strong enough to lift. No, I never knew him. Oo ::Alahndra could not cry. She glanced around for a distraction, anything, and toyed with a napkin as she tried to feel something. oO Regret? No. Oo Then her eyes followed the contours of the room and she caught his face, though she couldn't seem to hold it anymore because seeing Sedrin once again loosed that thing she kept, safe, locked within. She took a gulp of whatever she was drinking, and then stood a bit unsteadily.:: Nevarass: Hello... Belasi: Hello Alahndra. ::Pause:: It is very… *pleasant* to see you again so soon. Nevarass: It's good to see you. ::She didn't know whether she meant it or not.:: You must know... Today... My family died today. ::She didn't quite look him in the eye.:: Belasi: Yes, I was aware, but I only ever remembered this day as the day that… I lost you. Nevarass: Sedrin... ::sigh:: I am so sorry to have caused you pain. Belasi: I forgive you. ::Sedrin smiled, the warmest smile he had since they were reunited. He could see that Alahndra was hurting deeply inside. It looked like she would burst unless she could release some of that hurt.:: Belasi: You said that last night was not a good time to talk about how you escaped. Would you mind if I join you for this drink, and you can tell me now. I’d like to know… Nevarass: Yes, please. I am tired of facing it alone. Care for some gin? It tastes like Jouya. Belasi: That sounds nice. ::Sedrin sat down opposite Alahndra.:: Nevarass: The day I left... Well, I will begin as close to the beginning as I can. ((Flashback: Delta IV: 4.33 years ago)) ::She had finished her advanced degree a month back, but in spite of intentions, she lingered at the University. It had become a refuge of sorts, with long, tree lined boulevards and the quiet, dust-full library filled with near transparent manuscripts, tomes in stasis, so much history that it dwarfed her small intellectual inroads. She had focused on medicine, xenobiology, astronomy, all things that would be useful if she could only keep herself on task and leave off haunting these quiet places.:: oO I will return home soon to find everyone in an uproar about the upcoming election, Father brooding in his study and wagering for partisans' support like a s[...] peddler selling bits of metal and glass, Mother having already withdrawn to her room most days to barter because for her it is an addiction, buying, selling things as Father buys and sells people, though one with money and the other with words. oO Yes, and perhaps both will be too busy to notice me. It is an old house, full of the ghosts of our ancestors, plenty of places to hide for a moment, an hour, a day. No longer. Oo ::Suddenly she felt the need, and it was need, not desire, to be lightyears gone by now.:: oO The plan, so simple, but it needed a moment of frenzy, such as the election season, to work. Be seen going back home, but leave things at the University as if I mean to return. Travel light, one bag, take no forms of identification. Become a true inhabitant of the stars. Use the account in Delinar's name and slip quietly from their fraught lives on a planet that now seems so small, with petty, insignificant troubles. Oo ::She walked steadily to her room, steadily, no speed, no hint at the urgency she suddenly felt. Shintara met her there.:: Shintara: You look brood-some. It is past time we were off, Allie. oO She knows me too well. I cannot lie. Oo Alahndra: This time, I think, I will go alone. Shintara: ::nodding:: I thought that was the problem. You have been acting quite like that old Terran fool. If I didn't know better, I'd say you thought me a fishmonger for all the incoherent babble I've been listening to. I know it's no use trying to crawl backward like a crab across the sands of time, yet when you are with Memory, you accuse me of insensibility. Alahndra: Shintara, why do you always compare me to some of the noblest characters as if I were committing a crime? Shintara: Because the way you carry on, I'd think you were a character right out of history, sent here only to drive your poor friends positively batty with moodiness. Brooding, really. 'Zounds, woman, what madness do you suffer? Walking through the boulevards as if you are going to leave your very spirit here. Come now, have a little sense and be decently done with it. Alahndra: ::chuckling:: I do see the point, but I can't help that. It's a natural predicament, a kind of character flaw one learns to love. Shintara: If by love you mean tolerate, in view of the absolutely fantastic person you are otherwise, when not taken to fits of... Oh, bah, what was it once called? Spleen? Alahndra: I do not have fits of spleen! Shintara: Oh, yes, you do. I've lived with you ever since Sedrin left, and you have certainly turned splenetic since. Alahndra: Shintara... In all seriousness, splenetic or not... ::She struggled to find words to express her thankfulness, her love, for the Ferengi woman, but Shintara wouldn't let her.:: Shintara: It's not as if you are going to die, right off, anyhow. I'll be leaving for the Delta Quadrant in a year, and until then you know which very secret subspace channel I'll be monitoring. Let's not bother with goodbyes. ::She turned rummaged through one of her numerous bags, came up with something, and handed it to Alahndra with a twinkle in her eye.:: Here. You'll need these in case anyone thinks they recognize you. ::Alahndra unwound the silk covering a small, squarish item. A scarf to cover her head, if need called for it, and it was quite nondescript, a deep brown. The squarish object she stared at in fascination. It was a microcrystalline display card, completely blank, ready for immediate data sync and use.:: Alahndra: ::Astonished:: You... how did you get this? ::beat:: No, never mind. I don't want to know. Shintara: It's the final step in the process of self-creation, Allie. ::She smiled.:: You don't actually think my father named me something like "Shintara," do you? This way, you can be whatever, whoever, you need to be, or want to at any rate. Use frequency 5.1243, QL-H5-level encryption, and no one will ever be able to tell the difference between you and your devious alter-ego, Allie Varan. After you program it, the encryption will auto-update. ((End Flashback)) Belasi: Please continue. I won’t judge. ::Sedrin listened intently, but was unsure whether he should make any physical contact with Alahndra. Even sitting nearby, he was awash with her strong emotions. So much pain, so much sorrow but underneath it all, a growing inner strength.:: Nevarass: You know how my father was. Well, I did go back to my parents' residence. I pretended that I was tired, evading questions from my mother. Father was more difficult. ::And suddenly, her voice stopped working, simply refusing to take her onward.:: I can only show you. It is too sensitive yet for words to touch., I suppose. Belasi: Go ahead. ::Sedrin said softly:: ::Alahndra slid her hand next to his, so that the outsides of their pinkies touched.:: ::Possible images flitted through her brain, but she showed him the truth. Her father, Ryald Nevarass, Laenthali, Delta IV Emissary and World Leader, had changed from the hard but kind man she knew from her youth. Something had warped in him, or perhaps she had only then noticed, and the warp had been there all along. It was the first time in her life she had ever been beaten, and she swore it would also be the last.:: Belasi: Oh Allie, I never realized. ::Sedrin heart ached for Alahndra. How he wished he could have been there for her at that time, to protect her, even from her father.:: Nevarass: Nor did I, until I was... ::break:: My mother came after, used a derma laser to repair me, like she'd been doing it for years... ::She did not break contact, using her other hand to pick up her drink while she slid the tip of her smallest finger over his own. She took a long swallow, getting her voice back.:: Nevarass: Yes. That is what happened. I think, from research and the few observations my shocked mind could absorb, that someone was blackmailing him, but I have little proof other than my own eyes. ::pause:: Everything I thought I knew about my parents might be wrong. Belasi: They were living a lie? Nevarass: Masquerading... pretenders. How long were they like that? Always? Was I so blind that it was always there but I never saw? Belasi: No. They had the whole world fooled. ::She couldn't hold it back any longer... the tides finally upset the lone boat floating in the ocean of her mind. She tried to stand suddenly, to run... somewhere... before it could overtake her. But she collapsed back onto the chair.:: Nevarass: Oh. Drank too much. Sorry... Please... Hic... help me get out. ::She said, strangled, right before the tears began, slumping against his shoulder, trying to hide, to sleep. She felt so very weary, felt her body go limp.:: Belasi: Oh Alahndra. ::Sedrin twisted around to look down at Alahndra. He put his arm up to support her head, and gently nudged her.:: Belasi: ::Whispering softly in her ear:: Alahndra….. Alahndra…. ::She felt his breath as he whispered in her ear, and suddenly she was very aware of his skin... Unable to control the electric current that spun down her spine, she surrendered, only for a moment, and that was enough to banish everything else in her mind. No.:: Nevarass: You... ::she paused, trying to remember the words:: are very nice, Sedrin, to suffer such an evening. Please, get me out of here before I make a scene... I don't drink quite like I used to. ::He helped her stand, and she swayed a few moments before grasping his arm for support, and they left the half-deserted bar. The corridors became misted, storm clouds beneath her feet, lightning rippling forth across sky underfoot--and he was there, working the sails, guiding her ship to harbor, and she soon failed to resist the currents that pulled her under.:: TBC... JP Sim By: Ensign Alahndra Nevarass Assistant Chief Medical: USS Independence-A & Lt JG Sedrin Belasi (PNPC) Pilot: DeepSpace 17 Simmed by Lt JG Eyas Wulfantine Chief of Security: USS Independence-A

[sB118-Independence] Ensign Alahndra Nevarass: Experimental Nightmares ((Deck 4: Crew Quarters: Alahndra’s Room)) ::Not five minutes after W’tine left, she had her lab set up. She had taken samples of the infected area, and of areas that did not seem to be infected. She hoped the parasite had not spread throughout his entire body, but only testing would show if she was right. :: oO I hope his Pythron constitution is fighting the infection and winning, Oo ::She thought.:: ::She began setting up experiments. First, the control. She took a Petri dish and extracted a sample she hoped was not contaminated with the parasite, left a little “food” for the cell to continue living for at least the rest of the night, during which time she hoped she would be able to find out if the parasite had spread to his entire body. :: ::She set up the rest of her experiments, each one a little different than the other. All the rest of the dishes contained cells she knew or suspected were contaminated. Then she began studying contaminated cells with a microscopic viewer. She watched one contaminated cell reach out to others that were not contaminated… it acted almost like a virus, working through taking over the RNA constructors in the cells, mutating them, and… leaving no trace of the original infection save for a completely changed cell. A completely different organism. Unrecognized.:: ::Alahndra also detected Somaru, in faint traces, and only in the samples close to where the wound was inflicted. She knew the substance was outlawed, but that it produced psychotropic symptoms when consumed. She almost contacted W’tine over the intercom, but then she glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly… well… dawn, for her. She had about an hour left to work, and then she would sleep for one hour, and she would wake after that. She took a padd from an unpacked bag and fed the information from it into the replicator, and she sanitized her hands. If she didn’t consume the herbs soon, she wouldn’t wake up in time to be ready to go with the away team.:: Nevarass:: Replicate “dream1”, and a glass of water, room temperature. ::The small capsule appeared. She knew most Deltans would refuse to take it, but she had always found it useful in a time crunch. Tetalus, the plant, native to Delta IV, would place one into a deep sleep for a short period of time. It worked as well as a full night of rest, but the nightmares it caused could be devastating. But her nightmares couldn’t be worse than real life. She had used it several times at the Academy, and the dreams did tend to stay with one for a day or two, but after a while, they faded. Until she consumed the plant again. Well, replicated plant. She felt comfortable in her own head. She sometimes even took it in order to have the nightmares.:: oO In my dreams, my family is alive again. And then I get to watch them die. And I cannot do anything. It is always the same dream. But in regular dreams, I never see my family. So to remember them, and what I ran away from, I suffer. Oo ::She diagnosed herself coldly. :: oO People who do the same thing over and over again expecting different results are insane. At least I expect the same thing each time. And then I spend the next day or two flogging myself with my own guilt. Stupid. Perhaps the dream will be different this time. I have changed, and its been over a year since I last took the "dream pill." I haven’t been to Delta IV since the night I left, under a false name, and went to Terra to enroll in the Academy. I never saw my family die. Except in my own head. Its always worse in my mind. Oo :: She took the small capsule, feeling nostalgic. After her family had died, she hadn't been able to sleep. Instead of tellings someone, she had replicated the Tetalus plant capsules. She had taken enough to sleep every night, and every night she faced nightmares. Many would call what she had done insane. It could have easily driven her insane. But it had not. She swallowed the pill with a mouthful of water. It would take an hour to work, so she decided to check up on her experiments in the meantime.:: ::One of the dishes had run wild, stimulated by glucose. She disposed of it in the replicator. She knew from study that Pythron physiology made little use of glucose. oO That’s to W’tine’s benefit. Had he been a Terran, or Deltan, or a myriad of other species… He might already be… whatever the end-product of this parasite is. Oo ::She noted that the parasite had actually separated from the cells in one dish, though it seemed to keep itself alive somehow. It seemed to have entered a stage of dormancy. She checked a PADD with her notes, and realized that to that one, she had introduced a small amount of isotopic antibodies type H, programmed to seek out anything other than a cell containing W'tine's DNA, into the system. The isotopic antibodies, type H, were not produced naturally in any species, but were manufactured isotopes that were actually programmable to an extent, and they had been shown to be useful when combating cellular viruses and parasites. After being immobilized, the parasites then had to be physically removed via bio-transport, or some kind of system flush. She had seen the like, though she had never encountered a parasite that actually changed its host’s physiognomy. And the traces of Somaru… oO Perhaps the parasite is somehow connected to the illegal drugs? Oo ::The thought came sluggishly.:: :: She realized that the herb she had ingested was taking effect. She quickly disposed of her experiments, replicated enough isotopic antibody H, programmed to seek out the parasite, to last a month oO I hope Oo and loaded it into two different hyposprays. oO One for him and one for me, just in case we get seperated. Oo She gathered everything she thought she might need for the away team mission hurriedly, packing nutritional packs, medical supplies, and two sharp throwing knives taken from one of her packs. She would wear them under her robe, along with some kind of phaser, but she had to stop. She turned, staggering across the floor, and collapsed on her bed without undressing.:: ((Dream: Delta IV: Nevarass Residence)) ::Ryald Nevarass stared across the table at her. He was powerful, but he had no power over her. She sneered at him.:: Ryald: You will not. I will not permit it. You cannot dishonor me by doing so. oO He’s so real. Oo ::She shook her head, wondering where the stray thought had come from. Of course he was real. And she hated him for being so.:: Alahndra: How can you control me? I am no longer your daughter. I spit in your eye, Ryald Nevarass. I will go as I please. I am no longer a child to be guided. I am grown. I— ::He cut her off:: Ryald: You have always been disobedient. You will do as I say. I have arranged for you to meet several powerful men. You will choose one of them for your mate. We cannot lose the blood of an empath. ::Suddenly she remembered the argument. She had told him this a thousand times, and a thousand times. And suddenly she ran from him. His eyes followed accusingly. She smelled a fire burning. Fire this time.:: oO No way out but to leave forever…Oo ::she thought.:: ::And she stood on a hill, and her families cries went out into the night as they burned. For a moment she watched her home burn, fire racing towards her. She ran, but no matter how hard she ran, each family member appeared to her, burning. Her father first, his flesh afire and eyes full of flame. He would not speak. ~You are not my daughter.~ ::He died hating her, and she stumbled in ashes, staring in horror at his bones. She watched her mother, so beautiful, burn to death sitting at the dinner table, waiting for her children to arrive. She did not scream, but her eyes accused Alahndra, and she would not speak.:: ~You are not my daughter.~ ::Her brothers and sisters all died begging for her to help. She watched. She could not close her eyes. She could not run away. And she stood among their ashes, and she cried. Each had disowned her. She had no family.:: ::But then she saw something strange. Water was flowing and washing away the ashes. Next to her stood a man she recognized, but she couldn’t remember his name. She was stroking his arm. The feel of the fabric comforted her.:: Unknown Man: You always asked me to wear silk, you know. ::And they were standing on the top of the highest tower. She looked down on the city and saw that she had parted with it.:: Alahndra: I know you… but who are you? Unknown Man: Perhaps you will understand someday. ::She realized that she had come to the end. Before her lay open and unexplored territory. He kissed her on the forehead, and then he faded.:: ::She blinked:: ::Alahndra was a child, and she woke from sleep screaming. She had been sleeping too close to her brother and had become caught in his nightmare. She cried in the dark. No one came to her. She remembered only ashes, and her father’s eyes burning, fire eating out his eye sockets and consuming him from within.:: ::She felt the horror as it began again, and her family drowned as an ocean covered her home world. She stood above it, and she felt every single person on her home world die. It was agony in her brain. She stood somehow among the stars, and she was alone.:: *Clang* *Clang* *Clang* ((Deck 4: Crew Quarters: Alahndra’s Room)) ::She opened her eyes, hearing the alarm. For a moment, she felt relief. It had been a dream. She sat up, expecting to see sunlight through her bedroom window, and realized she was not on Delta IV. Her family was gone. She was on the USS Independence, a StarFleet Officer, now. Memory washed over her, but she didn’t cry. She had done this too many times to cry. She had lost them thousands of times, and though each time it hurt, each time she cherished the fact that she could remember them, even in this warped way.:: oO This is the only way I can feel it. Otherwise I just remember why I left and think myself justified and lucky. This way I can feel the loss. It was a loss. I shouldn’t shrug off the death of all my family members. I have to feel it. Oo ::She stood and tugged off her rumpled uniform. She removed her com badge and tucked it among the things she would take with her to the surface. Alahndra took a shower, and the water washed away her grief. Everything seemed sharp. She was a thousand times more alive than she had been only an hour ago. Grief made her feel alive. Grief over the dead made her thank the stars that she was alive.:: oO If I would have stayed as he commanded, I would have died with my father. Funny, though, that part where the ashes were washed away… and that man, who was he? I remember him, but I’ve never met him? Just a dream. But why wasn’t I scared the entire time? I was frightened out of my wits the last time I took Tetalus. This time I was just sad. Oo ::She caught sight of herself in the mirror and stared. She met her own eyes in the mirror, and a single tear escaped from her left eye. She took the tear on the tip of her finger and stared at it.:: ::Alahndra spoke to the tear.:: Nevarass: Only one this time. Last time I cried off and on for two days. I have changed that much? Or am I hiding my feelings from myself? ::She shook her head. She did feel very refreshed. Somehow, she had finally dealt with it. Maybe it was because she *did* have a new family now. The loss of her old one was not so hard.:: oO Maybe. Oo ::Alahndra replicated nondescript clothing, flowing dark brown with plenty of pockets. She attached the knives to her arms and flicked her wrist a few times to test whether the sleeves impeded the motion. The knives flew quickly into her hands, and she tucked them back up her sleeves. She slung her small pack over her shoulder and pulled her trusty old Murkind phaser from her bags. She had acquired it from an old friend, a former classmate on Delta IV, and wouldn't part with it, even though most considered it outmoded. It was small, and she kept it for times when she could not use a standard issue Federation phaser. She tucked it into the holster on her belt. The belt had been a gift from the friend too. oO Ah, Shintara, I never told you I was leaving, but you knew. Oo ::She also made sure every day to wear something made out of silk, real silk, not replicated. She dug in her bags for a cream-colored silk handkerchief, which she tucked into a pocket on the inside of her blouse. It was an obsession, she admitted. Perhaps that had been why she’d dreamt of it.:: ::She attached her com badge to the inside of her blouse.:: Nevarass: Computer, locate Officer W’tine. Computer: Officer W’tine is in the Ready Room. ::Alahndra decided to try to meet him. He definitely needed to have some isotopic antibodies, at any rate. At least that would keep the parasite dormant. She wasn’t sure about how to go about removing the thing without anyone finding out, but she could figure it out somehow. She decided to go lurk around the corridors near the Bridge and catch him when he, and most likely the senior officers, were done discussing things. She knew she needed to be careful, though. If anyone thought that he was anything but fit as a fiddle, he would be pulled from the away team.:: ::She left her quarters, took the turbolift, and made it almost to the Bridge when she spotted him. She walked briskly and quickly caught up to him, though his stride was much longer than hers.:: Nevarass: Lt. W’tine, Sir? ::As she drew near to him, she felt his pain, not so sharp as yesterday, but still nagging.:: W’tine: Response Nevarass: ::Quietly:: I discovered something that might be useful last night, and are you in pain? ::Louder:: I was wondering what the orders are for the away team. W’tine: Response Nevarass: ::Quietly:: The… problem… I may have found a short-term solution. ::Louder:: Yes, Sir. W’tine: Response Nevarass: ::Quietly:: Can we go somewhere where I can give you a partial solution? oO Am I being too vague? Oo ::She reached into her pack and pulled out the hypospray, motioned to it with her eyes, and then shoved it back into her pack before anyone but he could see.:: ::Louder:: Very well, Sir. W’tine: Response ::She looked both ways down the corridor. No one was in sight. She remembered a storage room somewhere around here. She had found it on her first day, thinking she was walking onto the Bridge and much abashed when confronted with non-perishable supplies, extra circuit boards, and other odds and ends.:: Nevarass: ::Quietly:: I think there's a storage room somewhere around here... But I'm no use with directions. Do you want to administer it to yourself? I have two hyposprays loaded with something that I think will help... I will give one to you in case we get seperated on the surface... ::She took one and handed it to him.:: W'tine: Response Nevarass: It worked in the trials I ran, so it should work. ::She felt a vague memory of something she had thought of last night... but it escaped her. oO [...], I know it was something important. Oo ::She frowned:: oO Oh, yes, the Somaru. Oo W'tine: Response Nevarass: Did you have any strange effects after you were stabbed? I detected faint traces of Somaru close to the wound. It is a highly psychotropic drug, and also highly illicit. W'tine: Response <TAG> Ensign Alahndra Nevarass Medical Officer USS Independence