Hugh Barnes Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Williams walked down the corridor of Starbase 19 in a world of his own. The 29 year old human male had just come back from a date with
Tanjar-Ongra Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Williams walked down the corridor of Starbase 19 in a world of his own. The 29 year old human male had just come back from a date withThink it still needs a little polish, Mac.
Hugh Barnes Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 What gave it away It is work in progress. I got that far and had a brain f**t
Msgrv32 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 You've captured my attention, I wonder who/what he went on a date with...
Alleran Tan Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) If you treat the story as complete, it's shockingly existential. The man is introduced and is shown doing normal things- dating, daydreaming, strolling in a world of his own and then... abruptly ends. He and his story are finished. Cut short. Is that... death? The sudden succession of consciousness, with nothing remaining after but a blank page? No resolution. No final, last words. Just... an end.Are our lives so short and meaningless that, when viewed from an outside perspective, they don't even take up a single line on a page?...Okay, okay. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it too. You've made a good start. Edited May 9, 2011 by Alleran Tan/Radi Rais
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