Alora DeVeau

Just give it to me straight, Zel.

This just cracks me up every time I read it. Commander Dal is pretty yummy though!

That's...that's uncanny. HOW DID HE KNOW? 😄

Don't look at Teller. He'll make you explode! 😄

DEATH LASER! Totally it.

You're just NOW realising this?

Better watch out.

Ishreth's narration and Tatash's snarky commentary just had me cracking up.

*Looks completely and utterly innocent*

I just keep coming back to this and every time I see it so clearly in my head and I just can't help but chuckle.

O_O

OOC: You can usually count on @vitamink for a laugh. ((Pirate Ship - Drowning Band)) Andrews: I'm going to keep that thing busy! Somebody grab the bodyguard and then get everyone to a safe place! Drevas: Isaiah! What in- what are you-. Tatash: Andrews what the f… Lurtz: Is this normal Starfleet training? Isaiah would have normally quipped that lizard riding was only offered as an elective on odd years at the academy, but he was preoccupied with creeping up on what would easily be a thirty-foot long monstrosity if scaled to his normal size. Several alarm klaxons were sounding in his brain, warning him that he was courting real actual death. The only thing that kept him moving *towards* the reptile was the knowledge that the distraction might prevent more real actual death. If it worked. Dal: Come on, let’s get you up. Commander Dal helped the wretchedly retched-up bodyguard up, at the expense of getting lizard stomach contents all over his suit. They joined the group led by Tatash and the others and started moving off. The lizard, still recovering from the regurgitation, espied all the potential prey starting to hurry away and gave a displeased hiss. Isaiah took the opportunity to run up behind the lizard, grab hold of the black collar it wore, and clench his legs to the beast's neck The reaction from the lizard was nearly instantaneous, and it immediately began twisting and writhing, attempting to dislodge whatever was on its back. Isaiah held on tightly to the collar for dear life, hooking one arm through and pressing himself down and low, hoping that the lizard couldn't reach the back of its neck, and also that the collar was made extra heavy duty. Meanwhile, the larger group made their way towards what appeared to be a shelter of some kind. Tatash: This is as good a place as any. Ishreth’s antennae curled forward, as he sniffed. Dal: What is this? ::Gesturing to the shelter with his antennae:: And what is that? ::Pointing towards a big spongy, fragrant … thing that formed a carpet of sorts.:: Tatash: It’s a lunchbox, I’m pretty sure this is a ham sandwich. Drevas: ::poking the ground:: Yep. Feels spongy enough to be one to me. Dal: Charming. Commander Dal un-shouldered the guard into a safe location and then looked out to see how Andrews was doing. Dal: Ensign, how are you faring? ::he called in a louder voice than one expected from the soft spoken Andorian:: The lizard was trying a number of things to remove the unwanted rider from its neck. It had started by attempting to twist about and scratch at its collar area with a fore or hindclaw, but, fortunately for Isaiah, it didn't have the flexibility. Then it had attempted to twist about and bite behind itself. This was even less effective. However, it had the unfortunate side-effect of going around and around in circles like a giant scaled puppy chasing its tail. Isaiah clung tightly, but he was feeling rather sick. Andrews: Still alive, sir! ::He called as best as he could, while riding the lizard-go-round.:: Tatash: At least we got food covered then. Drevas: ::chuckling:: I suppose! The next move that the lizard decided to try was to roll onto its back in an attempt to squish whatever it was that was holding its collar. This was actually quite bad for Isaiah, as he did not want to find himself between that lizard's weight and the floor. As the reptile rolled over, he had to let go and jump to the side and then grab ahold again as the creature came back up. It was a real pity that there weren't a bunch of drunken cowboys cheering him on. He deserved drunken cowboys. Instead, he heard the voice of Commander Dal again. Dal: Can you get that lizard safely away? Isaiah had no idea how he was going to manage that, when priority #1 was still "don't die." Still, he wanted to sound hopeful. Andrews: I'll do my best, sir! Drevas pulled the civilians up into the ham sandwich haven. Meanwhile Ishreth wasn’t too sure about standing on food while being seen as food by a pet lizard. Drevas: Everyone still here? Valeria: I’ll do a headcount! Outside of the haven of the lunchbox, Isaiah was still attempting to keep his teeth from rattling out of his skull as he doggedly clung to the agitated lizard's back. The angry beast gave a hiss and a sudden buck, and Isaiah flew from its neck, head over heels, into a display of older Terran artifacts. Groaning, Isaiah forced himself up to his feet, pushing items off of himself, and attempting to back away from the angry lizard. He backed up and fell over something. It was long and cylindrical and had a black button on one side. What in the world was this..? Lurtz/Tatash: ? Drevas: Great. Uh. What now? I don’t think we can just go outside with that lizard there. Then the comm signal crackled to life with a raucous pirate voice. Smeagle: =/\= Hey, *miscreants.* We’ve got a buyer! The Vanity of Death will be here in 2 hours. So clean up this targ-sty, and take a shower for pities sake, will ya? =/\= Valeria: Buyer? Lurtz/Tatash: ? Dal: I have the sneaking suspicion we are on the sales floor. Isaiah now found himself sprawled backwards over the strange cylinder, looking up at the open maw of the lizard. Unless he did something fast, he was going to share the fate of the bodyguard -- only he didn't have the benefit of a bladed weapon to make himself less palatable. Quite by accident, he leaned up against the black button on the cylinder, and a glowing, red pinpoint of light spring into view on the far wall. It was some kind of low-powered laser! The lizard's head whipped around and it was suddenly focused on the glowing red dart. It darted away from Isaiah to chase the dot, only to come into contact with the wall, where it scrabbled at it ineffectually. Drevas: No. So why don’t we try and use this box as… well, what it is? If it’s a lunch box someone’s gonna pick it up sooner or later and we’ll just wait till that happens. It might be a while but it’s got to happen eventually. Right? Dal: They are going to come to check the merchandise – including us – we need to hide. Not just from a pet lizard but from sentient intelligent pirates. Lurtz/Tatash/Drevas: ? Isaiah had just picked up the cylinder and was directing the beam up the wall (with the lizard giving chase), when he heard Commander Dal again. Dal: Andrews, can we use that lizard to our advantage? Andrews: Sir, I might have a way to do that! Keeping the beam pointed away from the group, Isaiah hefted the laser-projecting cylinder and hurried towards the lunch box. Lurtz/Tatash/Drevas: ? Commander Dal looked to Tatash and Drevas next. Dal: We need a safe hiding place for a dozen tiny people. Somewhere defensible. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have more … pets. Andrews: Commander! You've got see this! Grunting, Isaiah swept the cylinder about, causing the glowing red dot to dance across the wall, with the lizard desperately following, trying to catch it. Dal/Lurtz/Tatash/Drevas: ? Andrews: It's some kind of low-powered laser projector, but that lizard finds it absolutely enthralling! Dal/Lurtz/Tatash/Drevas: ? Andrews: What if we used it to keep the lizard busy while we evacuate? Oh! Or even better...we could use the lizard as a distraction for anything that comes after us! Isaiah "drew" a spiral pattern with the beam and grinned as the lizard spun about, attempting to catch the dot. Perhaps he'd hit his head a little hard when he'd been thrown from the lizard, but he clearly seemed to be enjoying himself. Dal/Lurtz/Tatash/Drevas: ? -- Ensign Isaiah Andrews Security Officer StarBase 118 Ops M239010MC0

I say share away!

So all the ships have a thread - why not the Academy? I see some gems over there too! This from Adea made me chuckle:

Honey, there's NOTHING normal about Starfleet.

Tatash! Not in front of the kids!

But oh, honey, WHAT a Gorn!

I'm not sure refined is the word I'd use here.

I don't know why, but this just made me laugh.

Who needs a towel when you have breath mints?

When the team gets shrunk and you run into a cat... I bet Ashley is tasty! This had me laughing though.

Welcome to SB118! We're very glad to have you!

Boy is that putting it mildly.

Don't make me smack you.