Toni

Sorry, Admiral, I congratulated LtCmdr Ventu in our Ship's OOC group and forgot to congratulate her here. Congratulations! To the winners, and to the others as well. All the stories were very very good. Well done.

Tears of Redemption By W.A. Carrington It was most interesting to watch the progression of the character move from a mear number, 3528, to Commander Thom Savich. I liked the concept, and felt that Mr. Carrington pulled it off well, giving a realistic glimpse into the man's confusion throughout the journey. The final tests were extremely well done, and I liked the fact that he felt comfortable enough to use a slang word - Twitterpaited - as the word his wife sought. Certainly many couples choose simular off-beat words that have a special meaning between them. Reviewed by: LtCmdr Toni Turner

"Almost Perfect" By Emirry I liked "Almost Perfect" a great deal. It flowed nicely, and was very well written using good grammar. Emirry spun an interesting and bittersweet tale of two people who were in love with each other, but could not say the words. "He was everything she wanted, and more importantly everything she needed. But her timidness and assumptions had gotten the best of her." While I could see why the man could be confused by her reluctance, I could not see an accomplished woman - a Captain of a starbase - not fighting to preserve the love she indicated she had for him, and most importantly, being timid at all. Reviewed by: LtCmdr Toni Turner

Yes, the Judges Feedback would be totally separate from the polls.

Yes h92o, it would have to be a new topic, separated from the manuscript, but for those who crave feedback from others in addition to the judges, that should fill the bill. Admiral, doesn't a poll have a forum for comments too? That would allow room for more in depth comments, wouldn't it? Frankly, I prefer the system we have in place now, but I was looking for a simplier way for those who want more feedback to get it.

I like the poll that h92o put on his entry. Seems a perfect solution to get feedback from others in additional to the feedback that the Judges provide. Entrants would have a choice of asking specific or general questions in the poll, or if they choose, not put a poll for the general population at all. Only thing is, I would like the polls put up after the judging, and not on the manuscript itself.

Thank you, Admiral. It really looks nice. I'm very proud to show it.

Challenger Ending Date: Sat. June 9th Nothing in life is perfect, and as the old saying goes, "If you don't use it, you lose it." Do we really want to do that?

I understand about the banner and news totally, Admiral, and know what a generous load you carry.

Ben, I don't think I missed your point at all. You asked and I told you. On the rest, I was simply expressing my opinion. That's okay isn't it? My point exactly, Ben.

I mean that until this challenge, the 1st Place winners were invited to judge the next challenge, had it announced in the news, and given a banner. I understand why *some* of it was overlooked, as Admiral Wolf has been out of town a lot and I can't, and won't, fault him for that. The rest of what was overlooked, I'll chalk up to experience, and let it go. I entered this past challenge because I don't hold grudges long, found the theme intriguing, and because I felt the urge to get back into entering. I can't say that I haven't felt that it may have been a mistake to try to mend fences after being snubbed, but it made me a better person for having swallowed my pride to do it, and gave me comfort in knowing that I tried. But to be honest, Ben, in spite of that and some problems I experienced with feedback last fall, I still think that we have the most "Unbiased" regular judges possible when it comes to judging our work fairly. I have served under all three of their commands, and believe me, I know first hand that they don't cut anyone any slack. Actually, the best feedback any of us can get is the feedback we can give ourselves. We are all writers, and know instinctively what made our stories work, or not work - what we did wrong, what we did right -according to our own individual styles. If we can't look at our work objectively, then how can we expect anyone else to do it? The judges provide us a service by giving us the opportunity to showcase our best efforts, and I'll defend their right to run the competition according to the time they have allotted to spend on doing so.

I think that all 1st Place winners should be afforded the same considerations. It's disappointing when they are not.

I don't know, Ben.. some of what you say has merit, but seems like without regular judges, it would become more a popularity contest rather than a writing competition.

Sir, I think, and don't by any means, mean this as the Gospel, but when people are promised something, and it's not delivered, then they tend to get bit upset.

Marcus, I don't know, I think it may have been counted as they have been in the past, but only the judges will be able to tell you for sure. Sorry if I answered out of turn, just hated to see a question go unanswered this long.

Good Luck everyone. I can hardly wait to see your "tears."

My thanks to all the judges who judged this competition. I know how busy you all are, and do appreciate your time. Congratulations to Hawk and Nemitor. Well done, guys. Great stories everyone. Each one was well thought out and a pleasure to read.

The way I understand it.. you can add to it by replying, Marcus. The last reply is the one they judge. Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

The Spoils of Deception By Toni Turner Captain K'Toq was a charlatan. He had convincingly orchestrated his fraudulence to suck Anika into his scheme. And even though she was scorned, and fully intending to hold him accountable for his deceptions, he had instilled a hope within her that some part of his fallacy had been valid. The raw, festering dishonesty at the center of his position had been masked by Anika’s belief that the Fek'Ihr was impregnable, that no Starfleet Ship could destroy her, and no enemy was too strong to defeat her crew. Yet, in the face of obliteration, the things she had learned from K'Toq's lies were the only promising factors she possessed to sustain her. “Follow me, and we’ll become immortal, claiming the Universe as our own in command of the Fek'lhr,” he had boasted, and she, believing him, had turned her back on her other loyalties to do his bidding. But now that he cowered in the depths, longing for death, she wondered if her own dreams had made her so easily swayed by his unsubstantiated promises, or had it simply been the grandeur of his lies that had awakened her ambition. Whichever it was, she vowed to send him to Gre'thor, the Klingon place for dishonored dead. Slumping into the Captain’s chair, she rested her elbow on the arm, rubbing her finger softly against her pursed lips, studying the Federation ship facing off with the Fek'Ihr. She had pounded it with all her resources, yet it was none the worse for wear. Straightening, she stood up abruptly, placing her hands on her hips in a callus stance, "Put the Federation Captain on the screen. I want to see him flinch in the face of defeat." The view screen flickered, then a human male wearing the trappings of Starfleet appeared. "Salutations to the Fek'lhr, and her Captain, I'm Captain William Taylor, USS Phoenix Star." Her eyes flashed, trying to determine any signs of weakness. "And I'm Captain Anika. What is it you want, Taylor?" Captain Taylor's face broke into a half smile, "Captain, you surprise me. I was certain you knew why we engaged you, after all, the Fek'Ihr is a possession of Federation members, and it is our job to return stolen vessels, and those who would commandeer them without permission." Giving an exaggerated laugh, “I present no opposing argument that we did indeed pilfer this ship, but I don’t intend to let you fulfill your duty. On the contrary, Captain Taylor, we intend to commandeer your ship as well." Taylor frowned. He had hoped she would see that damage to the Phoenix Star was minimal, but in the light of her latest threat, he turned to a no-nonsense tactic. "And I cannot allow you to do that Captain Anika. Be reasonable. Your cloaking device is no longer functional. Your deflector shields are at a mere 40%, and your Disruptor cannons and Photon torpedoes are nearly spent. I do not wish to destroy the Fek'lhr, but if you fight, the ship, your crew, and you, stand to perish. Face it, Captain, your piracy is over. You have one hour to surrender your ship.” The screen went blank, and she remained rigidly in place for a moment, then assured the bridge crew with a hardy laugh, "Little does he know of the weapon we have within our coffers.” She started to again take her seat, but instead, she whispered to her second in command. “In 45 minutes, give the order to fire on the Phoenix Star.” The burly, leather clad Klingon thumped his chest with his fist to show his allegiance. “As you wish, Captain, but is the weapon prepared for such a move?” Skirting an answer, she smiled confidently, “Follow me, and we’ll become immortal, claiming the Universe as our own.” Turning to the crew, she loudly proclaimed, “Break out the Blood Wine. We must prepare for battle. I’ll be in my quarters,” she smiled cagily. “I want to look my best when next I face Taylor.” She waited for the crew to laugh at her attempt at humor, then left the Bridge. With little time to spare, Anika hurried straight to her quarters, and when the door closed behind her, she banged her fist against it in frustration, then picked up a chair, dashing it against the wall. Unable to contain her anger any longer, she lashed out at the bound man sitting on the floor before her. “K’Toq! You liar! You cheat! This is all your fault!” Digging her nails into his spiny ruffled forehead, she violently jerked his head back so she could see his full face. She purred with sarcasm, “Could you not accept my allegiance as loyalty? No, you let your own weakness defeat us." Narrowing her eyes, almost whispering her contempt, she leaned in close to his ear. “Did you doubt the fidelity of your own creation, or was it the fickleness of your own treachery that you regarded with suspicion?" K’Toq gazed up at her, his weakness clearly showing in his eyes. "I loved you." "Loved me?" She laughed bitterly. "Another lie flows from your lips freely. If that were true, why would you taint me, and plot to rob me of the command you promised? You courted me with lies, and bedded me with the falseness of your deceptions, and when I found you out, I seized my chance to take the Fek'Ihr, using the tactics you taught me. You claimed to be a warrior, yet you have dishonored yourself and your house, and for that, you will ferry across the River of Blood. These are the spoils of your deception, and I intend to let you savor them fully before you die." She stood, towering over the mere shell of the great warrior he could have been. "Don't worry. You will not die alone. The product of your perjury will comfort you in your final moments." Moving to the table, she picked up a bottle of Blood Wine that she had used mere hours ago to entrap him. Pouring the remains into a chalice, she returned to K'Toq, pressing it to his lips. "Drink your fill. We're going into battle." He gazed into her eyes, perceiving the coldness within her. “Don’t do it, Anika. You cannot win.” She scoffed, even though she knew what he said was true. “Cannot? Is that more of your dishonesty? You left me no choice in the matter. Now drink!” K’Toq lowered his eyelids, knowing that there would be no honor nor glory in the coming battle, and drank the contents of the chalice. When he was finished, Anika smiled. “I’ve killed you.” He retorted with a tone of sadness, “I know, and you have dishonored yourself with the poison that courses through my veins.” “I’ve only dishonored that which you have already shamed. I told you that you would not die alone, nor will you abide in Gre'thor solitarily. I'll be with you." He questioned, "You loved me?" She answered quickly, "No! And I'll not howl into the sky once I gaze into your stilled eyes, but I will be your tormenter through the eons of time." Sitting down beside him, Anika waited in silence until the poison began to take its toll, then watched as K’Toq's body contorted with spasms until he breathed no more. Almost in tandem with his death, the Fek'Ihr launched its attack. Anika heard the sickening rumble of the Phoenix Star's retaliation, felt the horrific heave of the Fek'lhr splitting open, and smelled the fires of her defeat. Realizing that her own death was imminent, she wrapped K’Toq within her arms, tearfully whispering, "I lied. I did love you.”

Thank you for deleting them sir.

Sorry, when I opened the Topic for Charles Hawk, I kept getting an error message. When I came back it was showing that three threads had been opened. Could you delete two of them?

Topic opened for Charles Hawk's Writing Challenge submission.

Yep, "Congratulations Mr. Carrington and Mr. West. Terrific stories from two very men." should have read: "Y'all done reel good on ya stowrees. Da wuz up ta snuff."

This Thread was opened for Russ Heston's submission to the Writing Challenge.

Congratulations Mr. Carrington and Mr. West. Terrific stories from two very men.