Jordan aka FltAdmlWolf

I'm here! This is it!

Y'ALL I'M GOING TO SEE MADONNA LIVE TONIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIIIIIFE.

Like if you identify, share if you'd have a beer with him.

All these tweeters get me. Their tweets say, "hey Jordan, we GET you."

In contrast to you people who don't get me at all.

Remember when Hillary Clinton's supporters were the ones complaining about a media conspiracy against their candidate? That was like, SOO two months ago. Now conspiracies about media bias are just [...]ING RIDICULOUS. AMIRIGHT?

#LOL

Not "plantations," but "slave labor camps"!

"Let us drop the word 'Union' when describing the United States side of the conflagration, as in 'Union troops' versus 'Confederate troops.' ... The Constitution continued to operate normally; elections were held; Congress, the presidency, and the courts functioned; diplomacy was conducted; taxes were collected; crimes were punished; etc. Yes, there was a massive, murderous rebellion in at least a dozen states, but that did not mean that the United...

11:15pm. 65 degrees outside, 80 degrees inside. This house is broken.

Good thing Gawker and the rest of the vulture media didn’t lose a whole day of clickbait ad sales by waiting to get the whole story, huh? Otherwise we might not have had the chance to vilify someone!

O'Malley's new campaign slogan: Folksy as [...].

Shut up Jim Webb. When we want to hear from you, we'll ring your bell.

Today's trip to the dentist unveiled the unholy trifecta of phrases you never want to hear from a medical professional:

1. "Let's go deeper."

2. "I'm not sure what's happening here."

3. "This is something we've never seen before."

And then, just for the soft landing: "Yeah, this will be expensive."

FLEET WEEK!

"precisely because no reforms are possible today it makes perfect sense to flesh out the alternative - not minor restrictions on the margins but a society which has dramatically fewer guns, where private ownership was limited and regulated like how you would in a civilized society and one in which we took seriously limiting the needless deaths and suffering guns cause today."

I WANT A GUN FREE AMERICA.

Universal background checks and the assault weapons are the bare minimum we should acce...

Wow. This really bowled me over.

We break for a moment from the ongoing national discussion about gun control to watch my new "Egg Central" cook its first batch of hard boiled eggs. This had better work, Cuisinart!

This is what safe and sane gun regulation would look like: "To get a gun in Japan, first, you have to attend an all-day class and pass a written test, which are held only once per month. You also must take and pass a shooting range class. Then, head over to a hospital for a mental test and drug test (Japan is unusual in that potential gun owners must affirmatively prove their mental fitness), which you'll file with the police. Finally, pass a rigorous background check for any criminal record...

This is my monthly reminder to myself. The clock is ticking.

"You have exactly one life in which to do everything you'll ever do. Act accordingly."