[Round 12] [sb118-aurora] Ensign Blackwood and PNCP York - "Fun&#3

[Zonhar]

(( USS Aurora Holodeck II, Deck 4))

:: Evanna entered the holodeck, she was finally going to get to run this new program that she'd been holding onto for a while. She was very excited, it was like opening presents as a child. Stranger than the title was the fact that the sender was anonymous. oOI can't say as I've ever had an anonymous delivery before... Oo "Pippi Longstocking and the 3 nausicaans." Evanna had spent many an hour considering who this Pippi was and what this program could be. It sounded like a story of some kind but it really was anyones guess as to what it could be. She had planned to run the name through the databases to see if she could get any clue, but with all the work she'd had piled on her there hadn't been much chance. ::

oO (Evanna) Whats disturbing is that I receive this on the back of being in a fight with a small group of Nausicaans... I mean, i'm sure it's a coincidence, how could it not be? Well, if Penny hurries up and gets here I'll find out once and for all. Oo

:: Penny arrives only minutes later, in a bit of a bluster but then that was nothing unusual for Penny, she was just overflowing with energy... ::

:: Having spent the last forty-five minutes trying to figure out what to wear for the occasion… was this an occasion, and if so what kind of occasion was it, Penny eventually she’d settled on a Vampire Piggies t-shirt and jeans. Cool and casual was good.::

Penny: Howdy!

:: Penny trotted up.::

Evanna: ::Smiling and waving the PADD about jovially.:: Hey pal! Good to see you, hows it going? All ready to uncover this mystery with me?

oO I'd hug her, but apparently that would be "weird" for her... maybe she has boundary issues... Oo

Penny: Heck yeah! ::panting:: Sorry, I’m late. I had to find a clean shirt. I hate doing laundry. ::tugging at the graphic tee:: Vampire Piggies was all that was clean. Soo… phew… I ran here. Hang on, I’m out of breath… ::gasping:: Cardio… not a science geek’s friend.

:: Grinning and wagging her head, she leaned a shoulder up against the wall and sucked in a deep breath.::

Penny: Okay, I’m good.

Evanna: Ye know we're like two super sassy secret squirrels, solving a seriously sticky, possibly silly little puzzle...

:: Shoving off the wall, Penny did a little dance of anticipation, actually it looked like she had to pee really bad.::

Penny: C’mon, c’mon!

Evanna: Alright, any last guesses before the moment of truth?

Penny: ::brightly:: I… ::sadly:: No.

Evanna: Well, i'm putting my money on some kind of a story. Mainly due to the fact of someone being named personally, and the general format. It's the same format as seen by many ancient, classic childrens stories. They always went "someone and the something." Oh let me see if I can recall something... I didn't really read many of those old stories as a kid. Cinderella and the 7 gnomes... ? Ehhh. Beauty and the 3 bears...? I don't know, but I am sure you get the picture.

Penny: Bu… but why would someone send you that kind of thing? Unless, you’re into that? ::she made a scrunched up face:: I mean, not that you’re slow, or a bit touched in the head, or anything like that. I like Smurfs and Superman. ::wincing:: Let’s pretend I didn’t say that. ::pointing at the padd:: How long is it?

Evanna: Well it's a short program as far as they go. Lets fire it up then!

:: Blackwood had the computer load the program and within seconds the barren room was transformed... into a bar... ? An oddly familiar one at that. Sickeningly familiar in fact. Her deepest fears realised as the characters began to appear in front of them. Someone had created a reenactment of that dreaded night, Blackwood thought for a minute that she was hallucinating. She checked to make sure she had actually loaded a program, it was right enough. Blackwood again looked at the scene, her face grew more sullen by the second, it was then that she noticed some modifications. She looked at Penny with a raised eyebrow, desperate to know how she felt about this unpleasant surprise. ::

oO Oh dear lord, I should never have brought her. I'd truly be dangerous if only i'd had a brain installed at birth. She will likely never look at or talk to me again. Last thing I need is to remind her of how much of a jack [...] I am. Oo

:: Penny blinked several times as if to let the scene soak into her corneas. It was the spitting image of the Comet Club, but that didn’t make sense, not with what Evanna had just told her.::

Penny: Ooo-kay… this looks really familiar. ::innocently:: Do they write children’s stories in bars?

:: She turned her gaze to Evanna for an answer, but the woman was looking elsewhere, and apparently just as confused as Penny.::

:: Blackwoods attention was drawn back to the scene, she scrutinised it, frowning and concentrating hard. Everything appeared to be the same, down to the fine details, except for one thing. oO Is that supposed to be me? I guess it is. I look nothing like that... how can this be? Oo ::

:: In the scene that unfolded this "character" that was supposed to represent Evanna did some swaggering cowboy strut towards the group of Nausicanns, the music playing in the background reflected this. ::

Evanna: I take it this is "Pippi" then.. and she is supposed to represent me . . . ?

:: Penny frowned and bounced a look at Evanna’s red hair, and Pippi’s pigtails.::

Penny: Hmm…

:: Was that a good “Hmm…”, or a bad “Hmm…”? Penny was trying to picture the pigtails on Evanna, but quickly decided against it when it almost made her burst out laughing. Instead, the young scientist turned back to the action.::

:: Whistling and tumbleweed indicated a standoff as Pippi eyeballed the Nausicanns and they gawked back. ::

Pippi: ::Arrogantly :: This place ain't big enough for the lot of us!

:: The Nauciscanns took one look at this scrawny, scruffy creature, with long red hair hanging in two plaits at either side of her head and they burst out laughing. How could you take someone wearing a short patchwork dress, thigh high stockings and over-sized boots seriously? ::

Nauciscann 1: So beat it then pipsqueak! ::laughing::

Nauciscann 2: ::Spitting at Pippi:: I wouldn't feed a s[...] of dregs like you to a battle hound. Worthless cur!

:: The third nauciscaan simply growls at Pippi and throws what looks like a bottle top, or s[...] or something directly at her, it bounces off her cheek. ::

Pippi: ::Pulling a very childish and pouting face:: Hey! No fair! I'm only wee! You'll pay fer that! :: Makes a stroppy movement and puts her hands on her hips. ::

Evanna: ::Gasping and taking on a deep shade of red about the face. :: Oh my god! Someone's really got their brain in backwards huh?

Penny: Shush… I can’t hear.

:: Putting her hands over her face to hide her shame, peering through her fingers Evanna continues to watch the horror unfold. oO Is this supposed to be FUNNY!?! Oo Blackwoods heart was racing and her muscles had tensed up so badly in her face and back that it was painful. Her teeth began to grind as she struggled to maintain her composure in front of her friend. ::

:: As Pippi throws a weak punch that misses it's target the music changes, it's a more upbeat tune. This new music is reminiscent of that last seen by terrans in the days when entertainment consisted of a black and white "television" and "slapstick comedy". It reflected and emphasized the goofiness and foolishness of Pippi and the way she staggered and stumbled around being beaten and bashed around like a puppet. Pippi didn't land a single hit and at one point was seen being gripped by the skull by an opponent behind, furiously trying to punch one in front - and missing him by a good 15cm or more. ::

:: Penny watched, tilted her head and watched some more. Eventually, a small crevasse of a smile crept across her mouth, and she nearly ended up gagging on her own tonsils as she tried hard *not* to laugh.::

:: It was absolutely hilarious to Penny, but she wasn’t completely blind, insensitive, or dumb to the little tell-tale signs that Evanna was *not* amused at all. In fact, Penny would have guessed that she was downright ticked off, which is what kept the young blonde’s giggles at bay.::

oO Definitely don’t want to put a burr under her saddle, she’s got a heck of a kick.Oo

Penny: Uh, you okay with this? It’s funny, right?

Evanna: I might have laughed Penny, but my sense of humor seems to have deserted me...

Penny: It’s not that bad really, I mean, Pippi’s cute.

oO Again with the “cute”! Way to console a friend. Oo

:: As they watch, the scene subtley change again and we hear some heroic music symbolising Pippis imminent rescue. Cue Eerie and Barnes who enter the fight casually dispatching the foes easier than it is to breathe. Pippi is at this point sobbing and crying her eyes out on the floor in a very bratty and pathetic manner. A big burly Klingon grabs her and thrusts her back onto her feet. ::

Burly Klingon: Your actions bring great dishonor to you, your family and your race.

Evanna: H-aarshhh!

:: Evanna was particularly shocked and even angered by this awful comment. A pain ripped through her chest as the Klingon spoke it. She felt that if he'd stabbed her with a ragged, poisioned knife, in the most painful location possible and twisted it brutally, it would have hurt a lot less. If this was supposed to be taken as a joke it had REALLY stepped over the line. Evannas head was pounding and she was feeling more ill by the minute. Still she tried to at least appear "reasonably" calm, knowing full well that any attempt to try and look neutral about the situation was long gone. ::

oO Uuuuurrrrghh.......The worst is still to come... Oo

:: At this point, Penny was doing a terrible job at the friendship thing, and she had to cover her mouth, feigning horror, to conceal the giggling-goon underneath.::

:: Here it was, seemingly in slow motion, with music fit for the Kings jester, or perhaps a clown... Pippi tripped over her long hair, falling endlessly towards Barnes, the hero of the show. She bumped into him with an enormous, dramatic crash and down they both tumbled. Evanna turned her back towards the scene as Pippi landed on the floor in a heap, lying in a position that she really wished she hadn't seen, wished Penny hadn't seen. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, but the sight she hadn't managed to avoid was burned into her mind and she could not stop seeing it. It was probably the most horrifying bit of the whole ordeal. ::

:: For Penny, it felt like her insides were being assaulted with fizzy, tickles. The ending was classic. It was like watching one of her favorite retro cartoons, Bugs Bunny, and Daffy Duck. The only thing missing was a big mallet to the noggin, or dynamite in the pants. Although… ::

:: Penny tilted her head at Pippi’s awkward landing on Barnes, and thought that it came pretty close to dynamite in the pants kind of funny, at least to Penny.::

:: Hardly able to contain herself from embarrassing her friend further with laughter, Penny choked down her giggles and gave a sympathetic wince.::

Penny: Oh, dear, that was… oO the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! Oo … creative.

::Evanna tried to console herself, stealthily wiped way a tear. She didn't feel up to facing Penny any more after what they had both witnessed and wanted to get back to her room where she could hide as quickly as possible. ::

Evanna: I'm...i'm rreal ssSorry... You shouldnae have had to see that... If i'd known... I should go...

Penny: Wait!

:: She reached out and put hand on Evanna’s shoulder to stop her from leaving. Only when the woman actually stopped, Penny suddenly had to scramble to come up with something to say.::

Penny: Er… uh… computer end program, please.

:: The scene disappeared and the room went back to the standard holo-deck grid.::

Penny: If it makes you feel any better, I have a huge crush on Hefty Smurf and Superman. :: I also have a holo-program were I play Lois Lane, it’s nothing cheeky, I swear!

:: Evanna just stared at Penny, after a few seconds it was clear she wasn't joking. She really appreciated the revelation because it was funny and she couldn't help but giggle a little at this statement. Smurfs... that was so wrong and messed up. The more she thought of it the harder she laughed and soon she didn't feel quite so bad. ::

Blackwood: Penny you are something else....

:: Penny hesitated for a moment more, fidgeted with her hands, and then smartly struck a pose with her hands on her hips.::

Penny: So who’s the wise guy that sent you this holo-program, huh? Let’s go find him and box his ears. ::shrinking:: Or give him a really harsh talking to. Actually, I’d rather avoid conflict if at all possible. Maybe we could send him a firmly written text?

:: Blackwood giggled at Penny's imitation. It was funny coming from her...

Blackwood: Conflict? I've never been in a conflict in my life doncha know...

:: Blackwood kept a straight face as she said this watching Penny's reaction with some amusement. ::

Blackwood: Yes, you can help me find this first class joker oO deadman Oo, we'll find him, then go give him a pat on the back and maybe a small token of appreciation oO His final resting place Oo for his... c-c-Creativity... Come on, lets get out of here.

FIN

Ensign Blackwood

Science Officer

USS Aurora

and

PNPC Ensign York

Science Officer

USS Aurora

((as simmed by T'Lea, Chief Science Officer, USS Aurora))

[T'Mihn]

ROTFLMBO! Oh that's good.

[Renos]

Thanks. I had an insane amount of fun writing it. Penny was spot on with everything. It was just great!

[T'Mihn]

It showed. Thank you for an enjoyable read.