JP Leyisa Yhanne & Maj. Zaaia Leix: Why Is It So Hard to Bribe Customs?, part 1

[Tomas Falt]

A brilliant joint post from Jim and Gina , introducing a colourful new civilian character to Denali Station. A great read, and funny too! Can't wait to see what happens in part 2!

 

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(( Customs, Landing Zone, Denali Station ))

 

Zaaia grimaced, massaging her temples as she monitored the passengers coming through the gates. It was just the luck of the draw that it was her rotation for keeping an eye on the incoming civilians. She probably could have wheedled Kingsley into taking her place if she’d wanted, citing all of the Majorly paperwork that still needed to be done after their encounter with the spider creatures. Repairs to their vessel hopefully wouldn’t take much longer and they’d be on their way. 

 

But how could she expect those under her to perform their duties without complaint if she wasn’t willing to do the same? So she’d decided to stick it out. For the most part, she’d been able to get away with a smile and a nod at the civilians coming through. At least, until the dark haired woman.

 

Leix: ::smiles wanly:: Actually, it’s Major. What can I do for you, ma’am?

 

Ley just smiled as if that was something she knew already, and continued on without hesitation.

 

Yhanna: Well, Minor, I was wondering how long it was going to take to clear my cargo? I’d like to get it all settled and get started on setting my bar up.

 

Zaaia had dealt with the woman’s type more than a handful of times in her career and though the woman’s intentional mistake regarding her rank irritated her, she was determined not to let it bother her. After all, she had the ability to make the woman’s life very difficult. 

 

Leix: ::smiles sweetly:: Of course. However, we do have procedures. We wouldn’t want you bringing anything dangerous to Ring 42, would we? 

 

Yhanne: Well, of course not! But you can rest assured, Admiral, that I have nothing to be concerned about. If you can just clear it, I can be on my way.

 

Leix: ::tilts her head to one side:: I’m happy to check on it, but depending on the contents, it could take some time to sort through. If you’d like, you can proceed to your…bar…and set up what you can and I will have the rest brought to you once the inspections are complete.

 

Ley shook her head. That wasn’t going to work. For one thing, she couldn’t set up a bar without furniture, or drinks, or glasses to pour those drinks into. And then there was the foodstuffs. Some of it was perishable. Granted, they were in refrigerated crates, but still, those things only lasted so long.

 

Yhanne: Look, I can respect that you have a job to do, but isn’t there some way I can speed things up? What about if I give you some free drinks at the bar? Say… 10 free drinks?

 

It took a great deal of restraint for Zaaia to not openly show her satisfaction at the woman’s frustration. Besides being unprofessional, it could incite a public outburst. How would that look when her primary responsibility was to prevent them?

 

Leix: ::shakes her head:: I’m sorry. Policy is policy. If there are any perishable items, I can push those to the front of your inspection. Otherwise, that’s all I can really do. ::jerks her head toward other civilians waiting:: It wouldn’t be fair.

 

Ley gave the woman a broad smile. She really was an expert negotiator, Ley had to give her that.

 

Yhanne: Okay, fine. Fifteen drinks, but that’s my final offer. I’ll even throw in two free visits to the holosuites once I have those installed. Now, do we have a deal?

 

Leix: ::smiles sweetly:: That’s a sweet offer, but I couldn’t possibly deprive you of that much profit. After all, there is the 285th Rule of Acquisition.

 

oO Oh, so she wants to quote the Rules to me, does she. Well, I may not be Ferengi, but I was trained by the best of them. Oo

 

Yhanne: Oh, but Colonel, good customers are as rare as latinum and we should treasure them. I give a little profit up now to know you’ll be back and in the end, I will recover my losses and more.

 

oO Besides, everyone has their price. Rule of Acquisition 98. Oo

 

Leix: ::tilts her head:: How about this? You hold onto your free drinks and I will deliver your crates personally when the inspection is complete. I’m sure you wouldn’t want anything to get broken and these civilians customs people can be a touch clumsy. ::smiles sweetly::

 

oO Always know when to retreat. Oo

 

Yhanne: :: throwing up her hands in mock defeat :: Fine, fine. I can take a hint. But can you please speed this up? I really would like to get going as quickly as possible. You know what they say: Time is latinum.

 

Leix: ::nods:: I’ll do what I can–but not at the expense of your cargo. Rule of Acquisition 18–

 

Yhanne: :: nodding, with a large grin :: A Fereni without profit is no Ferengi at all. Thankfully, I am not a Ferengi.

 

Leix: ::inclines her head and smirks:: But you seem to admire them. And I would think that the saying applies to any good businessperson.

 

Yhanne: Oh, it does. It does. And I do admire the Ferengi. They are master artists when it comes to business and profit. Now, who do I need to speak with to get these crates cleared through customs faster? Isn’t there some Admiral or General or someone I can speak with, since you’re clearly not high enough on the profit chain to make this decision.

 

Leix: ::smiles sweetly:: They’re on vacation, actually, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with little ol’ me.

 

oO Just my luck. A Starfleet customs enforcer. They are all such straight-laced squares. Where’s all the honest-to-goodness dirty customs people when you need one? Oo

 

Yhanne: Well, you can’t blame a girl for trying.

 

Leix: oO Yes, I can. Oo ::inclines her head:: Now, if you’ll step over to the gentleman over here– ::motions to the customs agent:: –he’ll get your contact information. Once the inspection is complete, I will personally reach out and arrange delivery of your goods safely to your bar.

 

Ley blew a frustrated sigh, but it was clearly no use. Starfleet didn’t use currency, so it was excruciatingly difficult to bribe their people. What she needed was a rescuer. Not that it really mattered in the long run. Ley wasn’t a smuggler. Not that she couldn’t have been, she actually knew all the ins-and-outs of the business, but she preferred to be more of an intermediary when it came to that kind of thing. She started to stalk off to talk to the indicated agent when she spotted a man in a gold uniform, and decided to try her luck with him.

 

Yhanne: Thanks, Sergeant. And I am going to personally hold you responsible for any damages incurred, so it’ll be in your best interest to ensure there are none. Now, if you’ll excuse me?

 

Zaaia shook her head. The childish phrase “So ha” stuck out vividly in her mind. The woman had been defeated and was using passive aggressive snark in an attempt to salvage her pride. Despite the continued intentional misuse of her rank, Zaaia had retained her integrity. Leix, 1. Dark-haired woman, 0.

 

Leyisa sauntered over to the dark-haired human man and gave him her most charming smile.

 

Yhanne: :: to Kendrick :: Excuse me, Admiral. I was wondering if you could help me out with a minor customs issue?

 

Kendrick: Response

 

Edited August 3, 2022 by Tomas Falt
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[Serala]

27 minutes ago, Tomas Falt said:

Can't wait to see what happens in part 2!

Actually, that was part 2, but it might have gotten mislabeled. It was really fun writing it with @Lael Rosek-Skyfire.

I am really curious to see how @John Kendrick responds, though! 😂

Edited August 3, 2022 by Jaelyne Isa