resolution PNPC C2 Hamsan Dwich – To make room for the other presence, we both draw back in our minds

[Alieth]

The level of drama, drag race references, emotion and worlbuilding in this sim is over the top. I'm here with my popcorn ready to see how this arc develops. Great work @Yalu & @Etan Iljor ❤️

 

(( Molly Malone’s Irish Pub, Deck 225/226, Deep Space 224 ))

The hustle and bustle of the pub actually made Dwich feel more comfortable about saying what he wanted to say; he could speak and let his voice get lost in the din.  Certainly no one beyond their table would be able to overhear him even if they wanted to.

Hamsan:  I know you’re Meidra’s best friend, but you’re the only other Bajoran I’ve gotten to know on Resolution.  I was wondering if I could ask for your advice.

Etan: Uh, of course…

The delay in Iljor’s reply and the uncertainty in his tone of voice made Dwich pause, and he second guessed whether or not he should continue on with his question.  After a moment of consideration, he pressed on.

Hamsan:  ::gestures to Iljor’s earring::  You’re… observant, right?  You follow the way of the Prophets?

Etan: Of course. It guides me in everything I do. I believe I am walking the Prophets have laid out for me.

Dwich nodded.  Bajorans had a reputation for being a spiritual people, and while some were less devout than others, one could generally trust the assumption that Bajorans believed in the Prophets.  It made sense for them, more so than Humans or other species for whom religion existed.  To Dwich’s knowledge, they were unique amongst believers in that their gods were actual, real beings, living just out of time but very much involved in the affairs of the people they watched over.

Hamsan:  I’ve been thinking a lot about my path.  Meidra and I have talked about moving in together, and I think we both want to take that step.  But I keep thinking about Yurba’s Second Prophecy.

Etan: I’m not familiar with it. ::he said, trying to rack his brains for any recollection.::

Hamsan:  Before I joined Starfleet, I was in training to join the religious order at the Kaiett Monastery in Dakhur Province.  But that was a long time ago.  ::beat::  In Yurba’s, there’s one verse I can’t get out of my head.  “If thou cantst love thyself, how canst thou love somebody else?”  It’s making me wonder if we’re doing the right thing.

Etan: Reading prophecy is fundamental. It is part and parcel of our spiritual lives. But there comes a point when sometimes we have to follow our hearts. My grandmother spent some time as a young woman considering doing the same as you did: joining the clergy rder- but it never felt right. When she met my grandfather, she was torn about whether to give up the order and marry my grandfather or give up my grandfather and spend her life in silent seclusion at the Vandawan Monastery.

Dwich remembered his last day at the monastery, when Prylar Ulan told him to pack up his things and follow another path.  It hurt, and for months, even years after, Dwich had felt lost.  The one thing he had wanted more than anything else in the world was not the life for him, or so he had been told.

Hamsan: What did she do?

Etan: She wasn’t able to have an orb experience to find the answer, but she did speak to Vedek Vehsajj who told her of a passage from Yalar’s New Insights which said “One must not be sabotaged by the saboteur from within”. My grandmother realised that she was stopping herself from being truly happy and she left the seminary.

Dwich recalled the book to which Iljor referred, though he didn’t remember the specific passage.  Over tens of thousands of years, the Prophets had revealed themselves to chosen messengers on Bajor many times, which resulted in a diverse canon of prophecies to which the faithful could turn for guidance.  In the past few days, Dwich had done his own share of poring over some of his most beloved sacred texts, but he was left with no answers, only more questions.

Hamsan:  But how does one know?  How did your grandmother know?  I love Meidra, but I still dream about joining a religious order.  I don’t know how to reconcile those two things.

Dwich tried not to scooch to the edge of his seat in anticipation as Iljor stopped to take a sip of his drink.  It wasn’t as though he had the magic answer to solve all of Dwich’s problems, but perhaps he could provide something thought provoking or shed a new angle of light on the situation.  As Iljor set the glass down, Dwich tried to anticipate what he would say.

Etan: My point is: ask yourself how you feel about Meidra. I think you’ll find the answer is that which makes you the happiest.

Dwich thought about his own feelings for Meidra, and the way she reacted when he finally expressed them to her.  If he were speaking in his own language, he would have used the word tem’en, “bright one.”  And he wanted to be her ja’ital, her “light,” in return.  He knew she felt the same way about him, but Dwich felt that there was something in the way.  Something within each of them that complicated their relationship and prevented them from becoming as close as their feelings might wish.

Hamsan:  I wonder if she would still want to be with me if I–– ::beat::  if I left Starfleet after my four years are up and joined the clergy.  ::begins thinking out loud::  Not in a contemplative or cloistered order, one where she could come with me, maybe teaching or caring for the poor.  With my medical training, I could do a lot of good in one of the cities.  Ashalla, maybe.  Or Tamulna.

Etan:  response

Dwich realised he was getting ahead of himself.  He had discussed his vocational aspirations with Meidra a few times in the past, but he had always framed it as a part of his past.  He’d not previously let on that he still thought about it every day of his life.

Hamsan:  I guess sharing quarters is such a big step, that it’s caused me to rethink everything about my life.  I didn’t realise when I asked her that all this would come up.

Etan:  response

Hamsan:  But I don’t think I’m the only one.

Dwich looked over at his unpalatable, nearly full beer.  It was likely warm and flat by now, rendering it even more unpleasant.  Even so, he grabbed it and took a draught, pulling a face as he set down the glass and forced himself to swallow the mouthful of acrid beverage.

Hamsan:  I think she’s hiding something from me.  Something that she thinks would change the way I feel about her if I found out.

Etan:  response

Hamsan:  I don’t know.  ::beat, suddenly realises::  And this isn’t me trying to prise it out of you, Iljor.  Honestly, I would never want to exploit the confidence between friends.  I just wish she believed that nothing could change the way I feel about her, and even if the Prophets don’t intend for us to walk the same path forever, she can at least be herself with me in the here and now.

Dwich realised that his own words could just as easily be spoken in the reverse about him.  It was as though each of them had brought a third one with them into their relationship, a secret or a longing, that threatened to derail what they had together.

Etan:  response

 

(( OOC:  The musical accompaniment for today’s sim is Between performed by Vienna Teng. ))

 

Tag / TBC

 

PNPC Crewman 2nd Class Hamsan Dwich
Emergency Medical Technician
USS Resolution NCC-78145

simmed by

Lieutenant Yogan Yalu
Helm Officer
USS Resolution NCC-78145

Justin
D238804DS0

As you liberate yourself in metaphor, think of others, those who have lost the right to speak.
— Mahmoud Darwish