Velana

Starbase 139 2387 Velana had forgotten what sleep felt like. After only five days, sleep seemed like luxury that no one could afford any more. She had taken to closing her eyes for ten or twenty minutes whenever she could, and calling that sleep when someone asked if she had gotten any. How could she sleep? Even those stolen seconds of rest were interrupted by the voices, the moans, the screams...the never-ending sound of suffering that permeated the station's overcrowded hospital. “Doctor! Over here!” “She's losing too much blood! We need a doctor!” “Another shuttle just arrived. Eighteen injured, four dead on arrival.” “Please, Doctor....I don't want to die. Please...” There was a master list of the dead, but Velana only added names to it. She had yet to look anyone up, not even her mother. Ignorance was more than just bliss, it was a coping mechanism that enabled her to keep going through the next surgery, the next loss, the next orphaned child asking for their mother. She couldn't afford to lose the emotional control that the traumatized Humans expected her to display. When her patients saw Velana's ears, they almost seemed relieved, as if they at least knew that they were in good hands with a Vulcan who couldn't possibly have been affected by the loss of Earth. It wasn't their fault. They couldn't know that Earth was...had been...the only home Velana had left, or that its destruction was a wound that cut her just as deeply. She was just as homeless as they were. In the first few days, her job had been simple. Save lives. There had been so little time to evacuate the planet; many of the shuttles that had left the system had been caught in the shock wave that followed. Huge, hurtling chunks of debris had taken out more than a few ships, as well. The injuries ranged from full-body plasma burns and amputated limbs to torn ligaments and mild concussions. The starbases nearest to what was left of the Sol system had become refugee camps where doctors, even cadets like Velana, were worth their weight in gold-pressed latinum. Now that the trickle of incoming patients had died down somewhat, Velana's job had expanded to include inventory and crowd control. Everyone had questions. No one had any answers. Shock and grief were giving way to anger and frustration. Human nature, she supposed. “Velana.” She heard her name called out across Sickbay so many times every day that she didn't bother looking up from her PADD. Whoever it was, they could wait until she had finished calculating how much dermaline gel was left. The station was starting to ration its energy resources, and even Sickbay no longer had a free pass to replicate whatever they needed. “Vee.” Velana lifted her head. Hearing her nickname, spoken by that voice, was enough to tear her away from her work. Her stomach twisted; her heart leaped into her throat. It had been three years since their last night together. Three long, painful years without the Human she had foolishly assumed was her mate. The man who had dumped her on graduation night, after wining and dining and bedding her one last time. “You're alive.” Cade shook his head. She wasn't certain, but there might have been tears in his eyes. “I hoped...but I didn't want to look and see...” He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing above the collar of his uniform. “Oh god, baby, you are a sight for sore eyes!” As much as she wanted to turn and walk away from him, Velana couldn't keep from taking a step forward. “What are you doing here?” “Reassigned to the station. Temporarily, so they say.” She nodded slightly. “Your family?” “They're fine.” He smiled tightly. “Mom had them off-planet as soon as the temperature spiked.” A shadow crossed his face. “How's T'Lan?” Velana's chin trembled at the mention of her mother, but she managed to reply, “I don't know.” Cade moved forward, closing the space between them. Before she could stop him, he drew her against his chest. She was too exhausted to protest and too tired of missing him to pull away. Instead, she let herself lean into the solidity of his body. His arms circled her. Surrounded by his warmth and his scent, Velana let herself shed the first tears she'd spent since the supernova. “Doctor! I need a doctor over here!” Snapping back to reality, Velana looked up at Cade. “I have to go.” But it was another second before she could tear herself away from him. “When do you get a break?” Cade asked as she started towards the nurse who had called for her. “Break?” she repeated. “I don't think so.” “1900 hours. The Promenade Lounge.” He gave her a smile which was still just as disarming as it had always been. “You have to eat, Vee.” Shaking her head, Velana gave in. Anything to make him go away. “Fine. 1900 hours.” Her attention was already back where it belonged, not on the man who had broken her heart, but on her patient, a woman who had just gone into labor seven weeks early. **** Even if she hadn't lost her entire wardrobe, Velana wouldn't have dressed up for dinner. The only reason she was even able to go was because her patient's premature baby had been delivered with far more ease than she had feared. There was a tiny new Human in the world, a hope-filled sign that the species would continue, perhaps even thrive, despite their crippling loss. Cade was waiting for her when she walked into the lounge in one of the few outfits she possessed, a simple black dress that she'd purchased from on the promenade half a hour earlier. He'd already ordered a drink for her, an annoying habit that she hadn't missed. He stood as she approached the table and pulled out her chair for her. “I almost convinced myself that you weren't coming,” Cade confessed as Velana sat down. “Really? That shows an uncharacteristic lack of belief in your own charisma.” Velana gestured to the flute of Talaxian champagne in front of her. “Please tell me we're not celebrating something.” “No. I just remembered that you liked it.” He paused as he lowered himself into his seat. “You do still like it, don't you?” She picked up the glass and took a sip. “Yes,” she decided. Cade watched her as she set the glass down again. “What is it?” “You're different, Vee.” “It's been three years, Cade.” “I realize that. I just...” He shook his head. “I don't know. I was expecting...” “The same woman you left in that hotel bed?” Sitting back in her chair, Velana folded her arms. “Are we really going to have this conversation?” A moment passed in silence. “I didn't think so.” Cade lifted his own drink, but put it down almost immediately. “I regret that night, you know. Not being with you, but what I said...what I did. I have regretted it every single day since.” “It doesn't matter now,” Velana murmured a moment later. “That hotel doesn't even exist anymore.” “Yeah.” He drained his glass with distant, haunted look in his eyes. “Everything's gone. My home...is gone. I wasn't even there, Vee.” She lifted her bare shoulder. “You're better off for that.” “Is this what you felt? When your family's ship was destroyed...did you feel this?” Cade pressed his palm to the center of his chest. “This ache? It's not going away; it's just getting worse.” “It won't ever go away.” Cade frowned. “Your Vulcan is showing.” “Would you rather I lie?” Velana leaned forward. “You can learn to live with the pain, but it never disappears, Cade. One day, you'll be reminded of Earth, and it will feel like the supernova happened only the day before.” She paused. “Some wounds never heal.” “Did I...?” Knowing better than to ask, he stopped. “I'm sorry.” Uncrossing her legs, Velana stood up. “Thank you for the drink, but I should get back to Sickbay.” “Vee.” She was already walking away when Cade called out, “Vee, wait!” On the promenade, she tried to lose herself in the crowd, but when she reached the turbolifts, Cade caught up with her. Reaching out, he grasped her arm. “Please, Vee. Don't...” “What are you doing, Cade?” she yelled, pushing his hand away. Her emotions had been simmering for days, but now they boiled over. At least they were directed at someone who deserved them. “What do you want?” “I don't want anything!” he insisted. “All right, that's not true. I wanted to see you. I needed to see you.” He pushed his hands through his hair. “You know, I didn't even think about my family when I heard that Earth was...gone. I thought about you. I was so terrified...that you were gone, too.” “You didn't want me,” she reminded him. “You didn't want us. All you wanted was to captain a starship. That could still happen. Starfleet is bigger than Earth. I think I even heard that Vulcan was being considered as a new base of operations.” Cade opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “Nothing has changed, Cade. At least not between us.” The lift doors opened and Velana stepped inside. “Deck Five.” She avoided looking at him for the agonizing seconds it took the doors to close, but at the last possible moment, Cade followed her into the lift. Velana scowled. “Look, I realize that no woman has ever turned you down before, but...” Cade cut her off. “You are not some conquest to me, Velana. You never were.” “Forgive me if I have a hard time believing that.” “I just lost the only place I've ever called home and...” “Yet, here you are, trying to rekindle something you extinguished a long time ago!” she shouted. “Of course, it's easy for you, isn't it? To think about yourself, what you want right now. Your family is still alive; you haven't lost someone that you...” He spoke so quietly that Velana almost didn't hear him. “They're gone.” Her chest rose and fell with unspent energy. “What?” Cade cleared his throat. “My family. They're dead.” She closed her eyes briefly, trying to process his words. “But you said...” “I lied. They didn't make it out.” When she looked at him, he sniffed and tried to smile. “Am I too old to call myself an orphan?” “Oh, Cade...” Against her better judgment, Velana reached for him, cupping his face between her hands. “You should have told me.” “I haven't said it out loud until now,” he admitted. “My family is...is dead. I made you, the only woman I've ever loved, hate me.” When he lowered his gaze, tears spilled down his cheeks and over her fingers. “I'm all alone.” “If I hated you,” she whispered, “I wouldn't still be mad at you.” Velana brushed her thumb across his full bottom lip. “And you're not alone. We're not alone.” She wasn't sure if he leaned forward first or if it was her, but their mouths met in a salty kiss. What started out soft and sweet quickly turned deep and needy. When the lift doors opened, they stumbled out into the corridor, unwilling to lose contact as they made their way to Velana's quarters. **** After six hours of dreamless sleep, Velana woke to the scent of coffee. Sitting up in bed, she searched the room until she found Cade, awake and dressed, walking back from the replicator with a mug in his hands. “Cream, no sugar.” He offered her the cup which she hesitantly took. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Cade, the great womanizer of Starfleet Academy, seemed at a loss as to what to do next. Velana hid her smile behind her drink as she took a sip. “I was hoping you'd wake up before I had to leave.” “I would have understood,” she told him. “Duty calls. Actually...” Velana set the mug aside. “I didn't expect you to say the night.” He frowned. “Did you want me to go after...?” “No!” A greenish blush stained her cheeks. “That's not what I meant. I just thought that...” “That history would repeat itself?” Cade leaned forward and kissed her. “Velana, as long as you want me, I will be here.” She looked down at the sheet covering her lap. “Be careful. I'll start to believe you.” “You're my home now.” He shook his head. “Maybe you always were.” Velana dragged her lip between her teeth. “I can't replace your family, Cade, or your planet. If you expect me to be your new home, then this will never...” He kissed her again, longer this time. “While you were sleeping,” he said a minute later, “I did something that I hope you'll forgive me for.” At her puzzled look, Cade continued, “I checked the casualty list.” Suddenly cold, Velana drew back. “Why would you...? I didn't ask you to do that!” “She's alive, Vee. Your mother...she made it!” Her back curved under the weight of her relief. She wasn't aware of her sobs; all she felt was Cade's hands stroking her hair, and all she heard was her own voice thanking him. When her emotions were spent, Velana slowly sat up. “Where is she?” “Vulcan.” A chuckle escaped her, followed by a full peal of laughter. “Vulcan?” she repeated. “Of all places. Vulcan.” “Maybe she'll stay there.” Cade hesitated. “Would you join her if she did?” “No.” She glanced away. “Starfleet can resettle there, but I never will.” “Where will you go?” Velana turned back to him. “Where are you going?” Cade smiled as he touched her pointed ear. “I'm not going anywhere.” “Then...” She captured his hand and laced her fingers through his. “I suppose we're not homeless anymore.” LtJG Velana Assistant Chief Medical Officer USS Tiger-A

Starfleet Academy 238009.01 The auditorium was filled almost to capacity with the best and the brightest. And while Velana had never considered herself to be either, somehow she was still there, sitting in the dark, surrounded by her fellow first-year Starfleet cadets as they watched a projection of Zefram Cochrane. "Imagine it," the legendary warp engineer compelled them from 260 years earlier. "Thousands of inhabited planets at our fingertips. And we'll be able to explore those strange new worlds, and seek out new life and new civilizations. This engine will let us go boldly where no man has gone before." The lights came on a second later, the projection disappeared and Admiral Gilmore stepped up to the podium. "Your exploration of new worlds and new civilizations begins today." The silver-haired Human paused as he swept his gaze across the room. "But the most important exploration that you'll undertake in the next four years will answer the question...who are you? Not just as a future member of Starfleet, but as an individual.” He smiled. “We look forward to taking that journey with you.” All around her, cadets began slapping their hands together; Velana joined them, although the gesture felt foreign and even a bit painful after a few moments. “Now, you should all have your quad assignments as well as your schedule of classes. If you have any problems with either, please see your faculty adviser,” Admiral Gilmore continued. “Welcome to the Academy.” PADD in hand, Velana filed out of the auditorium and into the bright sunshine that warmed the pristine gardens and lawns. She could see the Pacific Ocean, blue and shimmering, beyond the buildings that made up the campus. The sparkling waters were hypnotic; she had to tear her eyes away from the gorgeous glare. One of the buildings blocking her view of the ocean was Scott Hall and as she had been assigned to live there, it seemed only logical that instead of exploring the campus, she should locate her quad and meet the students with whom she would be sharing living space for the next two semesters, specifically Sen Alaxa, her roommate. She was Bajoran, according to Velana's housing notice. Velana had only ever met one or two Bajorans in passing during the handful of years she'd been on Earth prior to her Academy acceptance, but she'd always admired the complexity and mysticism of their religion. It would be more than agreeable to get to know one personally. Velana located the right floor rather quickly, thanks to the directions on her PADD, but when she reached what she thought was the correct door, she found it slightly ajar, as if inviting passing students to enter. The sound of laughter drifted out into the hallway. She hesitated. Perhaps she was in the wrong place. But then, she heard a female voice break through the giggling. “At least none of you got a Vulcan. I'm the one who's going to spend the next year getting lectured about the logic of making my bed in the morning!” It shouldn't have bothered her. Having encountered the same preconceptions almost from the day she and her mother had arrived on Earth, she should have dismissed the statement as nothing more than understandable ignorance. Yet...this was supposed to be an environment of acceptance, tolerance and education. She hadn't expected to find prejudice in her own living quarters. The laughter died when Velana made her entrance. A handful of cadets were gathered in the communal room that connected the four bedrooms; all eyes immediately shot to her. Three Humans, an Andorian and a Bajoran, presumably Sen Alaxa. “Excuse me. My name is Velana. Am I in the correct place?” The girls exchanged looks as the Bajoran unfolded her legs and stood up from the couch. “Yeah. You are.” Her smile was tight-lipped and although Velana had never been as sensitive to emotions as her father had been, she could sense the girl's apprehension. Or was it irritation? “I'm Alaxa.” She crossed her arms. “I guess we're roommates.” “It would appear so.” A few seconds of awkward silence passed. “Do you want to see the room?” Alaxa finally asked. Velana inclined her chin. Despite making the suggestion, Alaxa seemed pained by her affirmative response. “It's this way.” Like she was crossing an asteroid field, Velana wove her way though the other cadets and followed Alaxa into the far bedroom. One half of the room, arguably the better half as it possessed a window that looked out over the ocean, was already decorated with framed pictures, a potted plant and a hand-sewn blanket thrown over the regulation sheets. Arms crossed, Alaxa seemed prepared to defend her claim. After glancing around, Velana afforded her new roommate a cool look. “This is fine,” she said. “I'd rather stay out of the sun.” “I thought Vulcan was always sunny.” “I've never been to Vulcan,” Velana murmured. Alaxa stared at her. She might have said something eventually, but after a moment, the other second-year cadets appeared in the doorway. “Allie,” the Andorian said to Alaxa. “We're going out for a drink. Are you coming?” “Wouldn't miss it.” With that, her roommate took off without so much as a farewell...and certainly without issuing an invitation to join them. ***** 238010.01 It was well after midnight when Velana emerged from her room on quest to find something to eat. She had a xenobiology test in the morning and she'd skipped dinner in order to study. The common room was vacant; her quadmates were either in bed, or in the case of her roommate, out at a bar or a party. With a sigh, Velana crossed to the replicator. “Vulcan tea,” she ordered. But before the cup could materialize, she added. “And a slice of cake. Chocolate with vanilla icing.” She took her mug and plate over to the table, moved a stack of PADD's off one of the chairs and sat down with her snack. Before she could take her first bite, the front door opened and Alaxa entered, clad in black pants that were hardly regulation and a top that only covered the front half of her body. “You're up late.” Alaxa didn't give her chance to answer; she stumbled to the replicator. “Coffee, strong.” Velana expected the Bajoran to head straight to their room, but Alaxa surprised her by approaching the table with her drink. “Are you eating cake?” “Yes.” She forked up a bite. “Is it not a Human tradition to consume baked goods on the anniversary of one's birth?” Alaxa blinked. “It's your birthday?” Velana nodded. “How old are you?” “How old are you?” she countered. “Twenty-one,” Alaxa shot back. “Older than that,” was all Velana would admit. Most of Alaxa's face was hidden behind her mug as she sipped her coffee, but Velana was almost certain she was concealing a smile. “I didn't think Vulcans celebrated birthdays.” “I doubt most of them do.” She stood up with her plate. “It's not exactly logical.” “Then...why are you?” Velana kept walking away even as she replied, “Because I'm not a very good Vulcan.” Fifteen minutes later, Alaxa slipped into the room. Lying in the dark, Velana could hear her covers rustling as she climbed into her own bed. Another minute later, she heard a quiet, “Happy birthday.” Unsure of exactly how to respond, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to find her. **** 238010.29 “Cadet Velana?” Glancing up from her PADD, Velana put her hand to her eyes as a shield against the sun. It was an unnecessary gesture as she'd long ago learned that her eyelids were biologically engineered to see clearly even in extreme sunlight...and if anyone was aware of that fact, it would be the two people standing over her. “Cadet Sylek. Cadet T'Val.” She should have stood up from the bench as a sign of respect for the older cadets, but Velana chose to remain seated. “Can I help you?” The two Vulcans looked down at her, their faces perfectly, identically blank. “We've been instructed to issue you an invitation to dine with Commanders Voltok, Kular and Shtan this evening.” Velana's jaw twitched. The Pointy Trinity, as they were not-so-affectionately referred to around campus. The three highest ranking Vulcan instructors at the Academy...and they wanted to have dinner with a first-year cadet of absolutely no standing. It wasn't the first time she'd received this invitation and it likely wouldn't be the last. “Please tell the Commanders that I am very, very sorry,” she said with as much emphasis as she could get away with, “but I'm afraid I have a prior engagement tonight.” It was a lie, and a bad one at that, but the only time she saw any flicker of anything in the eyes of the two cadets when when she used the phrase “I'm afraid.” T'Val's tilted her head to the side. “Even an individual with your background must be aware of the significance of this invitation.” “Must I? With my background?” Velana smiled with artificial sweetness. “Perhaps you could take my place then.” “So.” There was the fainest hint of a sneer in Sylek's tone. “You continue to maintain this...illogical course.” “This course, as you call it, is my life,” Velana informed him with more vehemence than she'd intended. “And neither you, nor Cadet T'Val are the final authority in what is logical and what isn't.” T'Val's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, a surprising display of emotion for her . “Your admission into this institution was a mistake. Commander Voltok is offering you a chance to...” “To what? Purge my emotions?” “Before it's too late,” Sylek finished for her. Velana stood up, putting herself at the same height as him. “As I said, please express my regret to the Commanders. And if it wouldn't pain you too much...which I know it won't...please inform them that they needn't bother in the future. I have a very busy schedule and it doesn't allow for fraternization.” She quickly walked away, willing her hands not to shake before she was far enough out of their sight. ***** 238011.15 “How are your classes?” On the screen of her computer console, Velana's mother, T'Lan, seemed concerned, if the slight pull on her slanted eyebrows was any indication. “You're doing well?” “Very well. My studies are going...well.” “Having taught you myself, I'm fully aware that you have a greater vocabulary than you're displaying right now.” T'Lan paused. “Something is troubling you.” “Nothing is troubling me, Mother.” But she clearly wasn't convincing enough. “Are you having nightmares? Have you been meditating?” “Every day.” Velana sighed. “And my dreams have been normal. I'm fine. Can we please change the subject?” T'Lan shook her head. “You just seem different. Your hair is longer. You look thinner. I'm worried, Velana.” “Please don't be.” She glanced to her side, as if she spotted someone. In truth, she was alone in the quad. “I have to go, Mother. We'll talk soon.” With that, she ended the transmission. It didn't feel good, cutting off the only family she had left, but what was she supposed to say? That she was excelling her in classes and failing in her personal life? That she didn't have a single friend on campus because the Vulcan cadets regarded her as some sort of heretic and the rest of her peers assumed she was an emotionless robot out to ruin their fun? Standing up, Velana walked to the full-length mirror Alaxa had attached to the wall. Was she losing weight? She couldn't tell. It was true, however, that her hair was getting longer. Parted down the middle, it now reached just past her shoulders and had a tendency to wave that she'd never noticed when she'd kept it shorter. She grabbed a strand in the front and pulled it down over her nose. She had no idea what possessed her to reach for the hair trimmer on Alaxa's dresser unit, but only seconds later, she chopped the strand in half and kept going until she had a thick, but uneven fringe of bangs. It was just her luck that Alaxa returned right then. She froze in the doorway and for a long moment, the two women simply stared at each other. “You cut your bangs.” One of the things that had grown to bother Velana the most about Alaxa in the past two and a half months was her tendency to state the obvious. Under normal circumstances, she would let the comment roll off her back, but she'd barely had any meditation time in the past few days and her emotions were so close to the surface that there was no hope she'd be able to hold them in check. “Yes,” Velana snapped, balling her hands into fists so tight that her nails dug into her palms. “I cut my bangs. And I know...I should keep going. Vulcans always have short hair, don't they? And I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone by being different!” The girls just kept staring at her, probably not shocked so much by her outburst, but by the fact that she capped it off by hurtling the hair trimmer across the room. “I think it's a good look,” Alaxa said after an awkward silence. “It frames your face. It just...it needs to be shaped a little.” She carefully picked up the trimmer from the floor where it had landed, like if she moved too quickly, Velana might explode again. “Is it all right if I...?” She gestured to her hair and Velana nodded. A few minutes later, the Bajoran girl had successfully evened out the edges of Velana's new bangs. “Thank you,” Velana murmured. “I apologize for using your appliance without your permission.” She paused. “And for throwing it.” Alaxa's lips twitched into a smile. “It's all right.” With the trimmer in hand, she walked back to her side of the room, only to turn around a second later. “Can I ask you something?” Velana braced herself for whatever might follow. Would it be about her childhood, her lost family, her emotions...or something else equally painful to discuss? But when she finally nodded, all Alaxa asked was, “Do you know Cade Whitman?” After a moment of thought, Velana shook her head. “That's good. For you.” She explained, “He's been dating my friend Jah'lia. You know Jah'lia? Well, apparently he was just trying to check 'Andorian' off his list.” Alaxa scowled. “He dumped her yesterday like the past two weeks meant nothing to him.” “Anyway,” her roommate continued, “We're all taking her out for a drink and some commiseration. I just stopped by to change.” Velana had absolutely no idea what had prompted this disclosure, but she tried to smile anyway. “That's fine.” She moved to the door. “You can have the room.” “Velana, wait!” Puzzled, she looked back. Alaxa took a step towards her. “You...wouldn't want to come with us. Would you?” “Are you asking me or telling me?” “Asking,” Alaxa said after a second. “Do you want to have a drink with us?” Velana frowned. “I don't understand. You've all but ignored me for ten weeks...yet all of a sudden, you want us to socialize?” She touched her bangs. “This is nothing more than hair, shaped in a different style. It hasn't changed who I am.” “No one's asked you to change...” To her credit, Alaxa stopped herself with a sigh. “I realize we haven't exactly gotten off to a great start, but...” Velana could feel her temper rising again. “Before we even met, you not only assumed that you already knew who I was, but that you weren't going to like me.” “Well, let's be fair!” the Bajoran girl argued. “All they told me was that you were Vulcan!” “And you assumed that such a limited description as my species provided all the information you would need in order to know me as an individual?” Alaxa folded her arms. “Well. When you put it like that...” She let her arms fall back to her sides a second later. “I'm sorry. Please...come with us?” “I will have a drink with you and your friends,” Velana eventually decided. “But I don't know how good I'll be at...was it 'commiseration'?” “It's not hard,” her roommate assured her. “Just nod a lot and occasionally chime in with something along the lines of 'you're so much better than him'.” Ten minutes later, after they had both changed out of their uniforms, Velana asked, “Would it not be logical to remind your friend that there are 5.4 billion male humanoids on Earth alone, any one of whom would be a suitable mate?” “You know...that just might work.” Alaxa stopped just at the door that led out of their quad. “I probably should have said this a long time ago, but welcome to the Academy, Vee.” “Vee?” “Like it?” Alaxa asked. “I thought about Lana as a nickname, but...” “It's fine.” Velana tried to be restrained, but she couldn't keep a smile off her face as they headed out of the dorms. “Vee is...more than acceptable.”

Congratulations and welcome to the fleet!!

We made it!! Congratulations, everyone!! I had a great time simming with you all and I hope we get a chance to again someday Captain Riley, Commander Danzia...thank you so much for your help and guidance this week!