Tony, aka Rouiancet

"Dakota" by Jorus Cogud reviewed by Kali Nicholotti The first time I read this, I got the feeling of a tragic love story where one half of a partnership is torn from the other because of an injury or illness that the other could not control. I tried to imagine what would have led the officers in question to leave a person behind on the bridge and I came to the conclusion that something must have fallen on her, preventing them from getting her out. It was sad, but nothing groundbreaking, as it had been ‘done before’ so to speak, and while I enjoyed the story, I didn’t walk away from it with a profound emotional reaction. Then, as I prepared to write this review, I went back and read it a second time. This time I picked up a number of things that I hadn’t picked up the first time, including the name of the ship and his last words to her. Suddenly, the emotional reaction was there and I realized just what you had written here. I couldn’t help but go back and read it a third time, in light of the realization that I had made. It was this third time that I really was able to connect with the story and the way that you used words to allude to (and hide) what was really going on. In the end, I really did enjoy this story. It does, however, seem a bit rushed and in need of another round of proofreading. There were a few typos that caused me to go back and re-read a portion of it, breaking the overall flow, so keep that in mind for next time! Overall, it was a very good story with a great premise and I look forward to seeing more from you next time! ------ "Thank You for Being a Friend" by Richard Matthews reviewed by Karynn Brice This story was a good entry. Like some of the others, it isn't an "expected" take on the theme and I appreciated that. It kept me engaged, especially since, like the friends in the story, I was curious to know more - more about the woman, more about the marriage, more about why it had ended. I felt special to be privy to at least some of the information that he didn't divulge. The use of the first person was an interesting way of writing the story. On the one hand, it put front and center in the action, and in a way made the actions of the others seem that much more real, and I think it was designed to make me identify with the protagonist of the story. On the other, however (and this is really a more personal opinion), I have difficulty identifying with the protagonist or getting into a story written in first person like this, because I end up "fighting" the author by thinking "well I wouldn't say that..." or "that didn't happen to me..." (not to mention, I do have difficulty identifying in the first person with a male protagonist). I know some people love reading stories in first person, though, so I wouldn't say this is a definite negative (or something you should necessarily change) - just something that didn't click well with me. My one real complaint with this story focuses on this rule from the Writing Challenge: "Your story must take place in the Star Trek universe...". Other than the couple of asides that the three in the story were Starfleet cadets, I didn't really feel like there was anything in the story that placed it in the Trek universe over the bar in How I Met Your Mother or the one from Cheers. In fact, by the end of my first reading of it, I had basically forgotten about those few references at all. I would have liked to see something in it that was more distinctly Star Trek, whether it was a character or a situation. All that being said, though, I really liked the story. Being in the medical field in real life, and having had to deal with getting into residency (and all the headaches that it brings) while watching friends try to juggle both in the pair making the match work made it that much more personal to me. I appreciated the difficulty that the couple faced and found it sad that they hadn't been able to make it work out after all. Finally, I loved that in the end, it was a story about friendship. Although romance played an important role, it was friendship that was left standing. I appreciated that the main character realized that too, that he had moved on. You did a wonderful job at exploring this. Thank you for your entry. ------ "Body to Body, Heart to Heart" by Verana reviewed by Aron Kells If you've read anything of the character development of the various Trek series, you'll know of the Spock mystique. The writers sought to say something about the state of humanity, and instead of offering judgments, they endeavored to observe via characters like Data, Odo, Worf, Jadzia Dax, Voyager's Doctor, and others. While the characters ultimately dictated their own successes regarding observation -- DS9 viewers won't forget Odo's crusty but almost yearning assessments of "humanoids" -- they each brought something new to the Spock mystique, as the author does in this tale of a Deltan in Paris. The very idea is wrought with potential complications, but the author adroitly handles most of these; the decision to not skirt but rather to address the cliché of Paris was a very savvy one. More than that, as did Spock for Vulcans, Dax for Trills, Worf for multidimensional Klingon characters, etc etc, Verana establishes here a backstory and a mythos for Deltans, drawing on canon and non-canon sources to create a rich heritage. Though the author admits before the story begins that this is part of Verana's backstory, that nature of the piece is the one I take the most issue with: The story, as a whole, does not feel like a story itself but rather like a footnote. It is secondary, as volunteered, to Verana's larger arc; but how could the author have made it primary? What was important about this event in Verana's history that it seemed most crucial to cover? Almost certainly there is more to this story, and I urge the author to continue uncovering it, perhaps in further Challenge entries. ------ "Idle Hands" by Sidney Pierce reviewed by Toni Turner Sidney Pierce wove an interesting tale dealing with the death of a friend and the influence of alcohol that made her character vulnerable to strong emotions. The combination seemed to make her do things she may, or may, not normally do. She teetered between the Counselor in her, and a woman needing to be consoled in the arms of a friend, who blamed himself for the death, and obviously needed consolation too. I enjoyed reading this piece as it was well-written, although I'm not a big fan of forum censored words, and words that could be better said (e.g. god-[...]ed). Good Job, Sidney. Well done! ------ "Adequate" by Alleran Tan reviewed by Velana I feel like this story absolutely nailed the point of the challenge and proved that it's possible to weave believable romance into Star Trek, even in a situation as devastating and gory as a massive battle with the Gorn. I immediately felt something for both Servan and Evans even without knowing their backstory. The writing was strong enough to make us root for this star-crossed couple and to hope they would make it through together, without any unnecessary, info-dumped history. And I can't say enough about the poetry of the language used, in particular phrases like "the growing pool of green blood seeping into the hungry sand." So wonderfully evocative. This was a romance worthy of an entire novel. ------ "J(o)ust for the Princess" by Vitor Silviera reviewed by Velana There are endless romantic possibilites when you bring in the idea of Holodeck dates, but that being said, I feel like this story was fairly off the mark in terms of romance, and I don't just say that because it didn't work out between Vitor and Violet. Not all love stories have to end with marriage and babies and happily ever afters, but there are certain things that the audience expects to see in a romance, such as mutual admiration and respect. I'm sorry to say that the latter in particular was missing here, to a degree that I wound up disappointed in the main character. It's okay for him to be upset that Violet didn't appreciate the date he set up...it's not so okay for him to deal with that upset by reducing her to nothing more than her cleavage. Also, there were many grammatical errors in the story, problems with tense, sentence fragements, etc. These are things that could have easily been fixed by having a beta reader. ------ "Stone on a nightengale" by Segolene LeMarnix reviewed by Arden Cain Of all emotions, love, could quite possibly be the hardest to express to another individual.This task is only complicated further when the other person doesn't feel same for whatever reason. This is the situation that the main character of this story finds herself in and I was quite pleased at how she processes and describes those emotions to the reader. I would have liked to see more on this, more detail and perhaps a longer story but that is neither here nor there. The the main flaw with this story is that I feel that it didn't quite hit the challenge's topic considering that the main character is essentially breaking up with her former lover. Even with the slip up at the end, there is nothing romantic about that particular task. Although brief a lot of detail was conveyed giving the reader a glimpse into the character's head or more pointedly, her heart and that was wonderful to see. I look forward to seeing more on this character in the future. ------ "The Perfect Moment" by Tallis Rhul (RUNNER-UP) reviewed by Karynn Brice I really liked this story. I liked that you took a less traditional take on the theme, and that it didn't have a happy ending. You did a good job of introducing us to Diego and giving us a sense of his character. Even in the constraints that the Writing Challenge format imposes, he became real, with strengths and foibles, and by the end I could really feel for him. I think my favorite part about this story was experiencing Diego's growing self-realization. It was gratifying to watch him grow from a more self-important "understanding" that seemed to be superficially reciprocating the sacrifices that his beloved had made for him to his final life lesson. If only more of us could learn similar lessons before it was to late. Finally, I really liked the loose parallel between the first and last paragraphs. It tied the story up nicely, but in a way that reminded us that life goes on, even when something so momentous happens that we feel like it shouldn't. I apologize that this doesn't have any constructive criticism in it - I really couldn't find anything in your story that I would change, and it was honestly one of my favorites. Nice work, Tallis Rhul. ------ "One Last Dance" by Ben Livingston (RUNNER-UP) reviewed by Aron Kells As Challenge participation has risen, so have my expectations. Satisfactory stories are not enough to compete against recent winners that concerned themselves with neonatal deliveries and ex-Borg philosopher-Ferengis. "One Last Dance" sets itself apart via its use of pure whimsy: the dance! the descriptions! the unexpected Latin! This entry insists that you read it, and it's helped along by its author's strong sense of dialogue, as well as the (understated) tension between the two characters. To add to my previous assertion: This entry insists that you read it completely, as a surface reading will not reveal the complexities of the relationship between the two characters. In fact, that would be my sole complaint: This story so deftly handles its undercurrents that it neglects its surface and left me wondering why I was supposed to have cared after a first reading. Lucky readers will stick with the story and reap the benefits of further readings; but the work of the story should be evident during every reading. Nevertheless, "One Last Dance" managed to stand out from its competition during a Challenge in which its competitors were many. Well done! ------ "Love is a Battlefield" by Sinda Essen (WINNER) reviewed by Kali Nicholotti What I like about this story is that it takes the theme and turns it around so that the main story isn’t about romance so much as a rivalry between two students. I noticed that many writers chose to write from the perspective of an Academy Cadet, but again, this story was slightly different in its approach which made it stand out. The story begins smoothly enough and we, as readers, quickly get the sense of who to like, and who to not like. Immediately we take sides as the contest rules are set forth and it’s not hard to hope that the underdog wins. Yet, as things progress, you provide even more hurdles for this character, ultimately leading to an end that was far from what I predicted was coming. You managed to pack a lot into a few short paragraphs, and while I would have liked to have seen more on his dates and the events that led to their problematic ends, you did a great job of conveying those events without going over the word limits for the writing challenge. The ending is similar; it seems sudden and like it could have used more buildup, but you managed to pull it off in a way that gives the readers what they need without great expansion. Ultimately, the story was enjoyable and fit the theme well even if it wasn’t quite what one might expect right off the bat when reading the theme. Great job on all fronts and I look forward to seeing future submissions!

Welcome to November, everyone, and with its coming I'm pleased to bring you the results of our only two-month contest this season! The winner of the Challenge for September and October is Sinda Essen, with his story "Love is a Battlefield." We have two runners-up this month (I need scarcely say that judging was extremely difficult!): Tallis Rhul, with his story "The Perfect Moment," and Ben Livingston, with his story "One Last Dance." I would like to underscore that we had a large number of entrants and six contest judges, and it was still very difficult to come to a consensus. Thank you to everyone who participated for continuing to submit your best work! My special thanks to my fellow judges for this round -- Fleet Captain Toni Turner, Captain Kali Nicholotti, Commander Karynn Brice, Lieutenant Commander Velana, and Lieutenant Commander Arden Cain.

You just squeaked in, Chris! And now, I must announce that this Challenge is officially closed. The judges have convened, and we hope to announce a winner by Halloween!

Which means you'll be entering, riiiiiiight?

Welcome back, my friends, to another Writing Challenge! This regular Challenge follows our special events in July and August, so if you placed yourself in the mindset of the monthlong affair, be sure to read this extra carefully for a restatement of the regular rules. Kristen, the writer behind Velana and the winner of the August round, has selected this Challenge's topic, "Isn't it Romantic?" How will you interpret the theme? Perhaps you read it literally? Ironically? Humorously? Whatever your take, I look forward to reading your entry! To participate in the challenge, please create a new thread. From the "Topic Prefix" selection list, choose "Sep/Oct" -- don't forget to do this, because without it your story won't be considered for this round! You may denote your story as a "Work in Progress," but please do so at the beginning of the story (not in the thread topic), and remember to finish it before the deadline, as any story noted as a work in progress will not be considered. As always, please remember: *Your work must be completely original. *You must be the sole author of the work. *Your story must take place in the Star Trek universe, but may not center upon canon characters. *Sign your final draft as you would a post on your ship. *Your story must be between 300 and 3000 words. As of today, Tuesday, September 4th, this Challenge is open! The very last day to enter is Friday, October 26th, so get in your entry before then! For any questions you might have, remember that you can always visit the Writing Challenge website. Good luck!

"Eileen" by Sakorra Jefferson Reed reviewed by Aron Kells ---------------------------- A fantastic idea, this, and one that was grew from seed to tree in spectacular fashion. The believable dialogue and the careful consideration of detail -- the way Eileen knows the crew by their first names, for example -- really help to build the world of this piece. In my review of S'Acul's piece, I mentioned that that poem needed grounding; even though this story is told from the perspective of a ship, it's absolutely grounded in its own character and its interactions with its human crew, and that's enough to get reader onboard (pun intended). Great descriptions! The usage of verbs that were a joy to read! The story ends in a great place! My only question, at the end of the story, was this: Why now? Why were the moments described in the story the most important in Eileen's "life"? Were they? And if they weren't, what were? But I'll note that these questions come about as a direct result of my vestment in Eileen's character, and that is courtesy of a powerful author. Wonderful job!

"A Moment in the life of a space amoeba" by S'Acul Aveunallliv reviewed by Aron Kells ----------------------------- I very much like to see experimental pieces, and especially after this author's last entry that I judged -- which, while it played with time, was much more a straightforward narrative -- I was pleased to see something quite different this time around. But with that said, I don't think that this piece works -- yet. I would very much like to see the author continue to work on it, as I think there are some beautiful moments, some very humorous moments, and a lot of potential, but those parts don't yet add up to a cohesive whole. The piece's largest difficulty is courtesy of its content; writing from the poetic perspective of a giant space amoeba is no easy feat, and I applaud the challenge. However, the author needs to keep in mind that the readers of the poem will come from very human perspectives, and that it can be very difficult to connect with ideas that are too large or abstract, such as the single line "cold" or the very open third stanza. To rewrite, I would suggest grounding this poem in the readers' shared experiences -- again, definitely a challenge to find "shared experiences" between human readers and giant space amoebas -- but the poem presented to this contest has convinced me that the author is up to exploring. Good work!

"A Moment in the life of a miracle worker" by Jorus Cogud reviewed by Aron Kells ----------------------------- This was one of the few brave entries that dared to break the short story standard, and it's well on its way to becoming a fine piece. I've always liked dialogue in poems, and this poem uses the spoken word to great effect. The stanza collections of tercets (three lines) are consistent throughout, and don't leave me wondering anything about the form of the poem. However, I would note that sometimes the content suffered at the hands of that form: There are many lines that don't do anything to change or enhance the feeling of the poem, and it could definitely benefit from some pruning. The metaphors the poem uses are excellent, but I wanted more of them! As it is, they sort of sneak in at the end when I really wanted them there from the beginning. If had to pose one question to the author, it would be this: What about the form or content of the piece you're trying to present made you write it as a poem? Could it have worked as a short story? If not, why not, and what could you do to enhance its "poem-ness"? But these are questions for possible revision, not of the piece as it's presented here; and I am quite pleased with this poem's entry and that its author entered it into this contest. Well done!

"When Consciousness Isn't Life" by Kalianna Nicholotti reviewed by Karynn Brice --------------------------------- This was a story that grew on me. I have to admit that the first time I read it, I didn't quite catch all the interesting details that became more apparent as I went back to re-read it in preparation for writing my critique. I always like it when a story gives more on its second or even third time through, so if that was your intent, job well done. One of the things I caught and enjoyed the second time through was an interesting bit of irony. At the beginning of the story the EMH "complains" (if that's the right word) that it is only brought out in times of crisis but by the end, when it is used in a more mundane capacity, it seems to object just as strenuously. When I noticed this, I just had to smile as I thought "can't you make up your mind?". I think my biggest complaint is just that I personally had a hard time connecting with the EMH and sympathizing with it. It came across more like a petulant adolescent in my mind than as someone I wanted to "win.". Also, it seemed, to me, to be exploring a concept that has already been done before by Star Trek in the realm of AI (bringing to mind episodes from Voyager about The Doctor and TNG about Data) without bringing anything particularly new to the discussion, and in that respect I didn't find it particularly compelling. On a very minor point, there was at least one sentence that was noticeably missing a few words (a typo I presume). This likely would have been caught in an extra edit. All in all, however, it was a well-written entry with some fun details. Your descriptions are vivid and therefore your story comes to life. Also, I always like when an author is brave enough to take on mundane moments in life as these can be some of the hardest to tell in a way that pulls people in. Overall, this was another good, solid piece of writing by Kali Nicholetti. Bravo!

"The Life in a Moment" by Velana reviewed by Alleran Tan ------------------------------ Okay, this piece had me right from the very beginning. Life in a Moment is a neat, snug little piece that tugs at the heartstrings and really hit the spot. It opens with an interesting question and a hospital scene that was well described and drew out the emotion in the reader. The scene was quite intense -- I had no idea what to expect and the ending came as a pleasant surprise -- and the very last line tied the whole story back to that opening line. I really liked this story and I thought it was masterfully crafted, with little to criticise and a lot to love. I felt it captured the theme of the challenge perfectly and ran with it, giving us this excellent and extremely tight piece. Very well done, Commander!

"Join Starfleet!" by Ben Livingston reviewed by Alleran Tan ------------------------------ Ens. Livingston's piece surprised me, actually, by being written in sim style. While that's certainly permitted, I kind of feel that the writing challenges are a good place to stretch the writing muscles that don't get as much of a workout. We read a lot of sims as active writers -- it's nice to read something else every now and agian. It also surprised me by presenting the recruiter telling a crowd about Starfleet who was, himself, subsequently 'told'. It's an interesting look at a pivotal point in a character's life and I couldn't see where it was going as I was reading it, but in hindsight I suppose the answer was easy. But isn't that the best thing, though? When you make a reader realise something in hindsight that they're like, "Oh, that's so obvious!". I quite enjoyed this piece and I look forward to reading more of Livingston's work, in sim style or not. Good work, Ensign!

"A momentary Resistance" by Ben Walker reviewed by Alleran Tan ------------------------------ When I review pieces I tend to write the review as I read it, and I can usually tell within a few paragraphs if I'm going to like it or not. So, while my initial "draft" of this review was fairly critical, the backspace key got a fair bit of work today. This piece by Ben Walker starts a bit slow and is fairly predictable, but it gets better as it gets along. I want to be clear about this though: it's not bad. It's just competing against quite a number of other pieces of truly exceptional quality, so... I suppose I had to get used to the style, and when I did -- and on subsequent rereading -- it's actually fairly snug and it matches the theme nicely. The story, while starting a little weak, strengthens as it goes and by the end is a nicely well rounded piece. Well done!

"The Desperate Engineer" by Idril Mar reviewed by Toni Turner ------------------------------ In truth, at first I didn't collate the connection between the opening statement with the lyrical flow of "The Desperate Engineer", but the more I kept reading, the more the tune of "Camp Grenada," kept popping into my head. I kept asking myself, "Where have I heard this before?" Finally getting the tune embedded into my reading, I got it. "Hey! I got it!" And then the charm of the lyrics came through, along with the humor of the situations stated. I more than chuckled at the prospects of finding Brice glued to the lift door. It was a clever piece of work, charming and fun with just enough silliness to do what the writer intended to do... give us all something different and fun to read. Well done!

"Barely holding it together" by Arden Cain reviewed by Toni Turner ------------------------------ "Barely holding it together" was a good fast-paced read that held my attention to the very last, when Mr. Cain delivered an unexpected punch line, that left me laughing in spite of the desperate situation he painted for his character. Admittedly, as the CO at the Embassy, Duronis II (A.K.A. Til'ahn), I know the answers to the questions that the story may have raised, like . . . What is her species? What distinguishes the species from others? What is fielding? I saw several places where some of her description could have been inserted, but the story stood firmly on its own volition, and I suppose that's all that really mattered. . . well that, and keeping it under a thousand words. Good job, Mr. Cain!

Happy September, everyone, and I'm pleased to bring you, courtesy of our lovely Challenge judges, the winners of August's special contest! The winner of the August Writing Challenge is Velana with her story "The Life in a Moment." Our runner-up, for the second contest in a row, is Idril Mar, with her bouncy "The Desperate Engineer." Congratulations to them, and thanks to everyone who participated. The option to include poetry or verse in future contests is something I'd like to implement, but when it happens again, we will likely have separate winners in fiction and poetry genres. Thank you to my fellow judges for this round -- Fleet Captain Toni Turner, Commander Karynn Brice, and Lieutenant Commander Alleran Tan.

Thank you to everyone who entered this challenge! I haven't seen such a fantastic turnout for a while! This contest is now officially closed, and we should have results for you in about a week. Thanks again for participating!

Greetings and various apropos felicitations, Writing Challenge enthusiasts, and welcome to this special August Challenge! Read this introduction carefully, as any entries that don't follow the guidelines will be disqualified. A collaboration between last month's winner Dave, aka Alleran Tan, and I had resulted in this special August theme: "A Moment In The Life Of..." Every entry must be under 1000 words for this round, which means that flash fiction and short-short stories would be ideal. However, I'd also like to open the Challenge up to some forms we haven't seen before. For example, how about some Trek-based freeform poetry, or a Trek cinquain? Perhaps you could dazzle the judges with a series of haiku? Whatever you choose to do, make sure your entry is 1000 words or less -- but be creative as well! This is a special round, so give it everything you have! To participate in this Challenge, please create a new thread. From the "Topic Prefix" selection list, choose "Jul/Aug" -- don't forget to do this, because without it your story won't be considered for this round! You may denote your story as a "Work in Progress," but please do so at the beginning of the story (not in the thread topic), and remember to finish it before the deadline, as any story noted as a work in progress will not be considered. The deadline for this challenge is August 22nd! That gives you exactly three weeks to get your entries in, so begin thinking now! All entries in this Challenge will be judged by a panel of UFoP judges, as usual, and you can expect a Challenge winner and entry feedback by the end of the month. The next Challenge (September & October) will be a more traditional two-month themed topic. Some standard rules and guidelines apply: *Your work must be completely original. *You must be the sole author of the work. *Your story must take place in the Star Trek universe, but may not center upon canon characters. *Sign your final draft as you would a post on your ship. *Remember, nothing over 1000 words! As of today, Wednesday, August 1st, this Challenge is open! The very last day to enter is Wednesday, August 22nd, so submit your entry soon! For any questions regarding our Challenge, remember that you can always visit the Writing Challenge website. Good luck!

"Captain's Personal Log...." by Tyr Waltas reviewed by Arden Cain ------------------------------ Being a Captain of a starship is no easy task. While trained to handle diplomacy, combat and to give the appearance of unwavering control even in the face of tragedy it is surely the emotional conflicts that hit a Captain worst of all. This story isn't new one but it is one that should be remembered. The way the story progresses from a fairly calm minded person to one in a rawer emotion state was very well done. Imagery used along the way was also quite fitting to this piece. If there was one thing that I would have liked to see more of, it would be more emotion. It stands to reason that for the character to react like this something has pushed him over the edge so how does he really feel beyond simply speaking of freedom and the atrocities of society. It would have also been nice to see some reason why this event was different or what changed in the characters mindset to trigger this "log". Overall though I felt that it was engaging and heart-felt.

"Ethical Considerations" by Alleran Tan reviewed by Karynn Brice -------------------------------- I just want to start my review by saying "Great Job!" This was a terrific piece that I enjoyed reading more than once. Your theme was engaging and kept me both interested and contemplating long after I had finished reading. In classic Trek style, you took a concept that is still controversial and repackaged it to give us a chance to look at it from a different perspective. I have very little to constructively criticize in this entry. I think there were a few places where, for me, the pace seemed a touch slow, at least the first time through, but otherwise it was great. Your spelling and grammar were without any noticeable errors and it was obvious that you had taken your time to think about and develop the Ferengi-Borg character. Congratulations on a very well-written story.

"Hard Decisions" by Vid-Lotilija reviewed by Kali Nicholotti --------------------------------- It’s always nice to get a view of things from a perspective that is outside the normal Federation or Starfleet realm directly, and in this story, readers get a glimpse of what a Romulan family, at least partially, might be like. With all of the ‘charms’ you might expect of Romulan society, along with hints of just how dark the secrets might run, Hard Decisions gives us a view of the other side. The idea of an El Aurian, who had been completely immersed within Romulan culture, then going to serve in Starfleet may not be something that you see every day, but this writer certainly gives meaning and depth to the reasoning and it brings something wholly unique to the potential future of the character. At the same time, for all of the buildup that was done in the beginning leading to the big decision, the end seemed just a bit rushed and left me looking for more! My recommendation for this story would be to give us more about the negotiations and, perhaps, the feelings that the character had as she marched towards her destiny on the other side of the Neutral Zone. Overall, this was a great story and a neat addition to the history of a character that seems to be very much different from others I’ve seen. Keep up the great work and I look forward to seeing more in the future.

"Trek Noir" by Idril Mar reviewed by Aron Kells ----------------------------- Immediately afterward, I thought thank god it wasn't an opera! Said Louise Fletcher of her time on DS9: "...That's over-acting not in a negative way, it's just sort of operatic, and everybody can be big, because it's a big environment, and the emotions are big. It's just like that black and white thing, the good and the evil and the power. It's sort of like the seven deadly sins. How do you act those in a small way?" But what this story does so deftly is exactly the opposite of what Fletcher identified in Trek. "Trek Noir" is a small, smoky, quiet piece that presents a simple slice of an engineer's life, and after the usual bombast, the ultimate questions of good and evil, that's very welcome. Idril's voice is insouciant and there's no doubt in my mind that this writer knows her character, and that knowledge made for a very enjoyable read. The piece's one shortcoming was in its over-reliance upon adverbs; its descriptions were rendered more like 60s stock sets than fantastic new worlds (or a not-so-fantastic new world, perhaps), though this could equally be part of its noirish charm. All things considered, this was a strong, vibrant, but also understated story from an established Challenge master.

"The Creature: Alone" by Edward Johnson reviewed by Aron Kells ----------------------------- This piece does takes on the task of a first-person look at an entity that isn't a person at all; and while its title gives you some clue of what's to come, the power of the story is in its telling. A first-person story must have a strong voice, and this story does -- though what that voice might sound like, I'm not sure. In several places, its "new" descriptions of familiar sensations allow it an innocent sensibility, and its mix of sensations and stolen memories produces a mix of knowns and unknowns that keep the reader guessing at what the entity will encounter next. However, while the idea behind the story is a good one, it's also a very tough one to pull off, and the story doesn't do it as effectively as it could have. It is too short to really develop who the entity is, what it wants, or why we should care about it, and I was immensely about Nari Covania and her background answered the entity's. My recommendation for this story would be to slow it down, to let it breathe, and to use the aspects that do work -- the voice that matches the non-grounded entity's perception, for one -- to allow the entity, and the reader, to explore the nuance of feeling for the first time.

Hello, folks, and welcome to the end of July! Our tireless judges of this special short contest have convened, voted, and returned to the mysterious depths from which they came, and I'm pleased now to announce our winners. The winner of the July Writing Challenge is Alleran Tan, with his story "Ethical Considerations"! Our runner-up is Idril Mar for her "Trek Noir"! Congratulations to our winners, and thanks to everyone who participated. To those of you who were entered in the Ongoing Worlds contest, their reactions will likely be mailed straight to you; regardless, any good news will be also find a place in these forums! Thank you to this round's judges: Fleet Captain Toni Turner, Captain Kali Nicholotti, Commander Karynn Brice, and Lt. Commander Arden Cain!

This Challenge is officially closed! Each entry has also been entered into the Ongoing Worlds contest (unless its author specifically asked that it not be). Results should be out in about a week, so stay tuned!

Done and done! I'm not sure if they'll send you a confirmation, but I have entered your story :-)