Tony, aka VAiru

"The Desperate Engineer" by Idril Mar reviewed by Toni Turner ------------------------------ In truth, at first I didn't collate the connection between the opening statement with the lyrical flow of "The Desperate Engineer", but the more I kept reading, the more the tune of "Camp Grenada," kept popping into my head. I kept asking myself, "Where have I heard this before?" Finally getting the tune embedded into my reading, I got it. "Hey! I got it!" And then the charm of the lyrics came through, along with the humor of the situations stated. I more than chuckled at the prospects of finding Brice glued to the lift door. It was a clever piece of work, charming and fun with just enough silliness to do what the writer intended to do... give us all something different and fun to read. Well done!

"Barely holding it together" by Arden Cain reviewed by Toni Turner ------------------------------ "Barely holding it together" was a good fast-paced read that held my attention to the very last, when Mr. Cain delivered an unexpected punch line, that left me laughing in spite of the desperate situation he painted for his character. Admittedly, as the CO at the Embassy, Duronis II (A.K.A. Til'ahn), I know the answers to the questions that the story may have raised, like . . . What is her species? What distinguishes the species from others? What is fielding? I saw several places where some of her description could have been inserted, but the story stood firmly on its own volition, and I suppose that's all that really mattered. . . well that, and keeping it under a thousand words. Good job, Mr. Cain!

Happy September, everyone, and I'm pleased to bring you, courtesy of our lovely Challenge judges, the winners of August's special contest! The winner of the August Writing Challenge is Velana with her story "The Life in a Moment." Our runner-up, for the second contest in a row, is Idril Mar, with her bouncy "The Desperate Engineer." Congratulations to them, and thanks to everyone who participated. The option to include poetry or verse in future contests is something I'd like to implement, but when it happens again, we will likely have separate winners in fiction and poetry genres. Thank you to my fellow judges for this round -- Fleet Captain Toni Turner, Commander Karynn Brice, and Lieutenant Commander Alleran Tan.

Thank you to everyone who entered this challenge! I haven't seen such a fantastic turnout for a while! This contest is now officially closed, and we should have results for you in about a week. Thanks again for participating!

Greetings and various apropos felicitations, Writing Challenge enthusiasts, and welcome to this special August Challenge! Read this introduction carefully, as any entries that don't follow the guidelines will be disqualified. A collaboration between last month's winner Dave, aka Alleran Tan, and I had resulted in this special August theme: "A Moment In The Life Of..." Every entry must be under 1000 words for this round, which means that flash fiction and short-short stories would be ideal. However, I'd also like to open the Challenge up to some forms we haven't seen before. For example, how about some Trek-based freeform poetry, or a Trek cinquain? Perhaps you could dazzle the judges with a series of haiku? Whatever you choose to do, make sure your entry is 1000 words or less -- but be creative as well! This is a special round, so give it everything you have! To participate in this Challenge, please create a new thread. From the "Topic Prefix" selection list, choose "Jul/Aug" -- don't forget to do this, because without it your story won't be considered for this round! You may denote your story as a "Work in Progress," but please do so at the beginning of the story (not in the thread topic), and remember to finish it before the deadline, as any story noted as a work in progress will not be considered. The deadline for this challenge is August 22nd! That gives you exactly three weeks to get your entries in, so begin thinking now! All entries in this Challenge will be judged by a panel of UFoP judges, as usual, and you can expect a Challenge winner and entry feedback by the end of the month. The next Challenge (September & October) will be a more traditional two-month themed topic. Some standard rules and guidelines apply: *Your work must be completely original. *You must be the sole author of the work. *Your story must take place in the Star Trek universe, but may not center upon canon characters. *Sign your final draft as you would a post on your ship. *Remember, nothing over 1000 words! As of today, Wednesday, August 1st, this Challenge is open! The very last day to enter is Wednesday, August 22nd, so submit your entry soon! For any questions regarding our Challenge, remember that you can always visit the Writing Challenge website. Good luck!

"Captain's Personal Log...." by Tyr Waltas reviewed by Arden Cain ------------------------------ Being a Captain of a starship is no easy task. While trained to handle diplomacy, combat and to give the appearance of unwavering control even in the face of tragedy it is surely the emotional conflicts that hit a Captain worst of all. This story isn't new one but it is one that should be remembered. The way the story progresses from a fairly calm minded person to one in a rawer emotion state was very well done. Imagery used along the way was also quite fitting to this piece. If there was one thing that I would have liked to see more of, it would be more emotion. It stands to reason that for the character to react like this something has pushed him over the edge so how does he really feel beyond simply speaking of freedom and the atrocities of society. It would have also been nice to see some reason why this event was different or what changed in the characters mindset to trigger this "log". Overall though I felt that it was engaging and heart-felt.

"Ethical Considerations" by Alleran Tan reviewed by Karynn Brice -------------------------------- I just want to start my review by saying "Great Job!" This was a terrific piece that I enjoyed reading more than once. Your theme was engaging and kept me both interested and contemplating long after I had finished reading. In classic Trek style, you took a concept that is still controversial and repackaged it to give us a chance to look at it from a different perspective. I have very little to constructively criticize in this entry. I think there were a few places where, for me, the pace seemed a touch slow, at least the first time through, but otherwise it was great. Your spelling and grammar were without any noticeable errors and it was obvious that you had taken your time to think about and develop the Ferengi-Borg character. Congratulations on a very well-written story.

"Hard Decisions" by Vid-Lotilija reviewed by Kali Nicholotti --------------------------------- It’s always nice to get a view of things from a perspective that is outside the normal Federation or Starfleet realm directly, and in this story, readers get a glimpse of what a Romulan family, at least partially, might be like. With all of the ‘charms’ you might expect of Romulan society, along with hints of just how dark the secrets might run, Hard Decisions gives us a view of the other side. The idea of an El Aurian, who had been completely immersed within Romulan culture, then going to serve in Starfleet may not be something that you see every day, but this writer certainly gives meaning and depth to the reasoning and it brings something wholly unique to the potential future of the character. At the same time, for all of the buildup that was done in the beginning leading to the big decision, the end seemed just a bit rushed and left me looking for more! My recommendation for this story would be to give us more about the negotiations and, perhaps, the feelings that the character had as she marched towards her destiny on the other side of the Neutral Zone. Overall, this was a great story and a neat addition to the history of a character that seems to be very much different from others I’ve seen. Keep up the great work and I look forward to seeing more in the future.

"Trek Noir" by Idril Mar reviewed by Aron Kells ----------------------------- Immediately afterward, I thought thank god it wasn't an opera! Said Louise Fletcher of her time on DS9: "...That's over-acting not in a negative way, it's just sort of operatic, and everybody can be big, because it's a big environment, and the emotions are big. It's just like that black and white thing, the good and the evil and the power. It's sort of like the seven deadly sins. How do you act those in a small way?" But what this story does so deftly is exactly the opposite of what Fletcher identified in Trek. "Trek Noir" is a small, smoky, quiet piece that presents a simple slice of an engineer's life, and after the usual bombast, the ultimate questions of good and evil, that's very welcome. Idril's voice is insouciant and there's no doubt in my mind that this writer knows her character, and that knowledge made for a very enjoyable read. The piece's one shortcoming was in its over-reliance upon adverbs; its descriptions were rendered more like 60s stock sets than fantastic new worlds (or a not-so-fantastic new world, perhaps), though this could equally be part of its noirish charm. All things considered, this was a strong, vibrant, but also understated story from an established Challenge master.

"The Creature: Alone" by Edward Johnson reviewed by Aron Kells ----------------------------- This piece does takes on the task of a first-person look at an entity that isn't a person at all; and while its title gives you some clue of what's to come, the power of the story is in its telling. A first-person story must have a strong voice, and this story does -- though what that voice might sound like, I'm not sure. In several places, its "new" descriptions of familiar sensations allow it an innocent sensibility, and its mix of sensations and stolen memories produces a mix of knowns and unknowns that keep the reader guessing at what the entity will encounter next. However, while the idea behind the story is a good one, it's also a very tough one to pull off, and the story doesn't do it as effectively as it could have. It is too short to really develop who the entity is, what it wants, or why we should care about it, and I was immensely about Nari Covania and her background answered the entity's. My recommendation for this story would be to slow it down, to let it breathe, and to use the aspects that do work -- the voice that matches the non-grounded entity's perception, for one -- to allow the entity, and the reader, to explore the nuance of feeling for the first time.

Hello, folks, and welcome to the end of July! Our tireless judges of this special short contest have convened, voted, and returned to the mysterious depths from which they came, and I'm pleased now to announce our winners. The winner of the July Writing Challenge is Alleran Tan, with his story "Ethical Considerations"! Our runner-up is Idril Mar for her "Trek Noir"! Congratulations to our winners, and thanks to everyone who participated. To those of you who were entered in the Ongoing Worlds contest, their reactions will likely be mailed straight to you; regardless, any good news will be also find a place in these forums! Thank you to this round's judges: Fleet Captain Toni Turner, Captain Kali Nicholotti, Commander Karynn Brice, and Lt. Commander Arden Cain!

This Challenge is officially closed! Each entry has also been entered into the Ongoing Worlds contest (unless its author specifically asked that it not be). Results should be out in about a week, so stay tuned!

Done and done! I'm not sure if they'll send you a confirmation, but I have entered your story :-)

I'm afraid I can't consider this entry because it's not in the first person. If you'd like to rewrite it so it is and resubmit it by tonight, I'd be happy to consider it :-)

I wouldn't worry about it, and I'll go ahead ahead and post it to the OGW contest for you!

Yep, and I wouldn't necessarily want to read six dozen twenty-page entries.... But this time, the limit's theirs, and -- hey, just call me the messenger!

For Challenges, the format in general is completely up to you. For this one, the only requirement is that it's first person, so you could do regular simming format or some sort of script format or a novel format, or whatever. Perhaps something new entirely? It's up to you!

Salutations, wonderful writers and regular readers, and welcome to this special Writing Challenge for the month of July! Please peruse this post with proper prudence, as it contains the guidelines, rules, and other important bits regarding entering your submission, which are a little different than usual for this unique Challenge. For this month only, we'll be drawing our inspiration from Ongoing Worlds's First Person Fortnight competition. This Challenge will not have a standard theme; instead, all stories must be written as a first person narrative. To participate in the Challenge, please create a new thread. From the "Topic Prefix" selection list, choose "Jul/Aug" -- don't forget to do this, because without it your story won't be considered for this round! You may denote your story as a "Work in Progress," but please do so at the beginning of the story (not in the thread topic), and remember to finish it before the deadline, as any story noted as a work in progress will not be considered. The deadline for this challenge is July 21st! That means you have just under three weeks to get your entries in, so begin thinking now! All entries in this Challenge will be judged by our panel in the usual way, but entries will also have the option of entry into Ongoing Worlds's contest. If you'd like to also enter there, please do the following: After you've posted your entry, post a reply to the entry stating that you plan to enter on your own; that you would only like to enter the 118 Challenge, not the Ongoing Worlds contest; or that you would like your entry entered into the Ongoing Worlds contest for you. Regardless of which of the three options you choose, remember to create a reply to your entry and let us know! Some standard rules and guidelines apply: *Your story should not be any longer than 5000 words. *Your story must be written in first person perspective. *Your work must be completely original. *You must be the sole author of the work. *Your story must take place in the Star Trek universe, but may not center upon canon characters. *Sign your final draft as you would a post on your ship. As of today, Monday, July 2nd, this Challenge is open! The very last day to enter is Saturday, July 21st, so submit your entry soon! For any questions regarding our Challenge, remember that you can always visit the Writing Challenge website. For questions relating to the Ongoing Worlds contest, please see the contest link above, or post a reply to this topic asking your questions. Good luck!

Time is... by Kalianna Nicholotti reviewed by Alleran Tan --------------------------------------------- This story had me from "My name is Commander Stewart, and I am from the future.". I have to admit I really liked this entry, and I think it captured the topic choice perfectly. There was a use of the metaphorical clock, along with the literal one, seemed like a deliberate attempt to show that this story was paying attention; it wasn't just "a story with a clock", it was a story that was *about* a clock. This was very good to see. I had a lot of trouble finding something wrong with this story since it was executed expertly, articulately written and quite philosophical. I thought it was perfectly crafted and, despite some serious competition from the other entries, I would be surprised if this one didn't win. Well done, Commander.

To live a memory best left in the past by Tal Tel-ar reviewed by Arden Cain --------------------------------------------- Once again Commander Tal Tel-ar has written a wonderfully detailed story. The rich details used to create the planet and local tribe produced the desired atmosphere flawlessly. Giving the reader the basic history of the planet and its people is also awesome as it allows one to speculate further toward the end of the story. This is honestly one of the hardest themes that I have had to judge. As always the entries are all great but the theme, a broken clock, isn't the easiest thing to represent both in a literal or metaphorical sense. The one thing that this story really lacked, in my opinion, is a more definitive use of the competition's theme. Overall though I honestly did enjoy reading this piece. There was just the right moment of action in the fight scene so not to make it the focus of the piece. The way you place the emphasis on the timing of the fight was also a great touch. The suspense and drama you packed into that fight just like the rest of the story was remarkable. I look forward to seeing more.

The Broken Clock - Time for a Last Stand by Eyas Wulfantine reviewed by Toni Turner --------------------------------------------- If ever a title fit, Eyas certainly named his manuscript correctly. And with that in mind as I began reading, masterfully crafted words began to set up the scenario, putting me smack dab in the middle of the of Lieutenant Weyland's malnourished, cold, fearful, yet brave squad. At no time did Eyas give an inkling of hope for the squad, but truthfully, I found myself rooting for them to be victorious despite their adversaries, and Eyas delivered on that too. The entire squad made their last stand, and in doing so, they fulfilled their mission. Their deaths allowed others of their kind to live. Eyas entry was the total package. A fast moving drama of the hardships of war. I was impressed with his story telling, and his ability to leave the reader with hope. It was a truly inspired "Last Stand." Excellent work, Eyas!

"A Broken Clock - Nine Lives" by S'Acul Aveunallliv reviewed by Aron Kells --------------------------------------------- The first thing that I appreciate about this story is that it made me work! It presents two apparently unrelated narratives sequentially, tied together only by a reference to Kilratha, and without tripping over any clunky explanations insists that its readers connect the two together. It's also written in a loping, easy style that helps carry the reader through the future captain's hellish [...]pit to the surface of Cait. The choice of Cait and the Caitians should be no surprise, given the author's primary character, but it's always welcome to see a little-known race from the Trek universe examined well in a short story, as is done here. My principal suggestion for this story is to look at the work the dialogue is doing. Trek dialogue has become, over the years of shows, movies, and books, almost a standard dialect, from the basic computer responses to the "dammit!" fists on the table. How can you break the mold? How can you make what these characters say different than what's gone before? How can you invent the next step in the evolution of Trek writing? I don't just ask these questions of the writer of this story, but of all the writers participating in this challenge. You're creating the future! But, in regard to this story, I was very impressed, and I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Thank you!

Greetings, everyone, and thanks for your patience! I'm pleased to announce that the judges for this round -- Fleet Captain Toni Turner, Lieutenant Commander Arden Cain, Lieutenant Alleran Tan, and Commander Aron Kells -- have conferred and selected a winner and a runner-up from the entries. The winner of the May & June Writing Challenge, with her story, "Time Is...," is Kali Nicholotti! Our runner-up, with his entry into his ongoing saga, "The Broken Clock - Time for a Last Stand," is Eyas Wulfantine! Congratulations to you both! The May & June stories and rules, save this response thread, have been moved to the 2012 Hall of Fame. Stay tuned for news today regarding July's special contest....

Greetings, my friends, and thank you to everyone who submitted an entry. The May/June Contest is now officially closed, and judging will occur over the next week. We'll have the announcement of the winner and the runner-up and some feedback for every story soon, so stay tuned!

((Sickbay, Deck 8, USS Mercury)) ::He had never encountered the Borg before, yet even without doing so they were an anathema to him. To one trained to protect and fortify one’s mind to any outside incursion, the idea that one could be overrun by nanites and one’s consciousness irresistibly subverted to the greater Collective was abhorrent.:: ::Avoiding or ignoring the issue would, however, have been illogical. And so he had studied the Borg, as he studied any fascinating alien species. Not that they were truly a species, rather a disease caused by these nanites, and as a doctor he studied them as such. Unfortunately there was no easy cure. Yes, if an individual could be separated from the Collective it was possible to restore both physical and mental function and individuality, to a greater or lesser extent generally dependant on the length of their time as a part of the Collective. But it was difficult and time consuming and not applicable in the case of a mass infection.:: ::So he had pondered the problem, and resolved that, as in all things medical, prevention was better than cure. The question that was the focus of Saveron’s current research was whether it was possible to prevent assimilation. Infecting nanites did provoke an immune response, that had been proven, but the response was far too slow. The situation was similar to many old infective illnesses, against which now most Federation humanoids were vaccinated. Thus, he wondered, was it possible to create a vaccine against Borg nanites? The donation of a sample of Lt. Wulfantine’s adapted nanites had given him new material to work with.:: ::That was what he had been doing, until the red alert klaxon sounded. The Vulcan quickly shut down the analyser he was using, secured his samples, straightened his blue doctor's coat and walked quickly from the Medical Science laboratory to Sickbay proper. Staff were already moving to their stations, efficiently taking Sickbay to full alert. The CMO nodded silently to Dr Del Vedova, who was on duty.:: Kells: =/\= Kells to medical, emergency on the bridge. =/\= Del Vedova: =/\= Responding. =/\= ::As Dr Del Vedova left for the bridge, Saveron stepped quietly to the fore, grey eyes meeting those of his staff with that impenetrable calm that all Vulcans portrayed. There were few things in the galaxy more frightening and more implacable than the Borg.:: ::The ship rocked suddenly, inertial dampners failing to compensate for what was clearly an impact. The logical deduction was that they were under attack. That was regrettable, but not unexpected. However a few moments later faces blanched as the intruder alarm sounded. They had been boarded.:: Saveron: Orderlies, arm yourself from the emergency weapons locker. ::Which would now be unlocked.:: ::As staff normally dedicated to the healing of injured beings acquired weaponry, Saveron’s thin lips pressed into a thinner line, the only outward sign of the intense emotions that he suppressed beneath his calm exterior. This was a scenario out of his worst nightmares.:: ::The fact of the matter was that Borg were known to adapt to Federation phasers within a few shots. The few hand phasers that the orderlies had would not serve them for long. He made a mental note to recommend to Security that they acquire some projectile weapons. Against physical weaponry the Borg had only their body armour. Unfortunately his lirpa was in the armoury.:: ::Moving to the medical equipment replicator, Saveron overrode it’s normal menu limits with a few quick keys and his CMO’s authorisation code.:: Saveron: Anyone with experience with hand-to-hand combat has permission to replicate and arm themselves with their accustomed weapon. ::He said curtly, and put words to actions.:: Anyone: Response ::Vulcans were pacifists, and Saveron found weaponry and violence disagreeable. His people were not, however, unskilled. Something that Commander Parker had been slow to understand was that a pacifist was not someone who could not fight, for they had no choice in the matter. A pacifist was someone who could fight, and chose not to do so unless all other acceptable options had been exhausted. The doctor who normally refused to handle a phaser now hefted the traditional Vulcan polearm, crushing weight at one end, disembowelling blade at the other. Violence was always abhorrent; occaisionally it was necessary.:: ::It wasn’t long until there was a whine and green sparkles hung in the air, coalescing into three Borg drones.:: Saveron: =/\= Saveron to Bridge, intruders in Sickbay. =/\= ::He said in the same bland tones that he might convey the arrival of expected supplies or the discharge of a patient.:: Bridge: =/\= Response =/\= ::As the Borg drones started to lurch towards them, Saveron hefted his weapon and regarded them expressionlessly.:: Saveron: Remove yourselves from this ship, or you will be removed. Borg: Response Saveron: Resistance is not futile. Borg: Response? TAG/TBC Lt. Commander Saveron Chief Medical Officer USS Mercury