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The Desperate Engineer

Idril Mar

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In a moment of mental anguish, the Chief Engineer of the Independence breaks out in song, to the tune of "Camp Grenada" by Alan Sherman. -- Jenn

Hello Captain… Anassasi.

Greetings from Main… Engineering.

The deck is clean now… thanks to Ensigns.

And we might be able to start up the core soon.

We had some losses… I'll admit it.

Seven crewmen… all have bit it.

You'll remember… Ensign Fields.

Due to radiation he's fused to the shields.

All my officers… hate the crewmen.

And the crewmen… think the same.

Without some phasers… there'd be fights here.

I feel I'm becoming an ancient slave driver.

But I don't want… this to scare you.

Ensign Brice, he… has mechanophobia.

We just glued him… to the lift door.

You should find him when he comes up to your floor.

Beam me out… oh Captain please just…

Beam me out… I need some time off.

Don't leave me in Engineering where

I might step into a spatial tear.

Beam me out… I promise not to break the ship,

Or put Danny in sickbay with a broken hip.

Oh please don't make me stay...

I've been on duty for one whole day.

Wait a minute, the core is running.

Ensigns workin'… crewmen smilin'.

Humming nicely, wow that's better.

Oh, Captain, kindly disregard this letter.

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