Geoffrey Teller/Karrod Niac: The Place Where All Sailors End

[Karrod Niac]

The quiet hum of the runabout, occasionally punctuated by the chimes of automated systems dutifully performing their functions, was the only break from the oppressive silence that wrapped Geoffrey Teller like a pitch-black cloak.  In the two days his journey had taken he hadn't spoken, save for the rare instruction to the ships computer, and even those few times had been abrupt and ledden.  Gone was the zeal and gangly energy for which he was typically known, buried too deep under layers of loss and grief for even his spirit to shine through.  He looked towards the transporter platform and its single occupant and considered again how he'd come to be chosen for this last, solemn duty.  

Geoff had fallen out of time; stolen away from the life and career he'd built by an enemy who had harried his steps since his earliest days as an officer on the U.S.S. Veritas.  He'd been imprisoned, returned to a place that played a central role in his darkest nightmares and only when he'd broken free with the assistance of friends and colleagues had he begun to grasp all that had been taken from him.  And all that he'd missed.  In the space between two heartbeats he'd lost a year of his life as the outside universe continued on, blithely ignorant to his absence.  

In the months that had passed since then he'd tried coming to terms with the enormity of that loss yet every time he thought he'd begun to put aside the bitter anger that consumed him in his quiet hours, some new discovery wounded him anew.  The message he'd received a week ago had been the worst among them all, though, and so had the request that had gone along with it.  He glanced again at the transporter platform and the small urn that stood upon a plinth in its center as tears once again clouded his vision.  

He had met her on his very first assignment and she'd seen something in him that Geoff himself had been unable to, but that had been her way.  Although she had suffered from a debilitating, chronic disease for which there was no cure, her heart seemed to overflow with compassion and empathy for all those around her.  She had wrapped those closest to her in an warm embrace that could forestall the sting of the deepest agonies.  She'd even made Geoff one of his most cherished personal possessions, a beautiful hand-woven blanket made in the ancient style of her people, and it had become a tangible symbol of all the kindness and care she shared so freely with others.  The blanket sat on the empty co-pilots chair where he'd delicately placed it when embarking.  He'd not dared touch it since.  

The navigation computer drew his attention back to the present as the runabout dropped out of warp and, as programmed, brought the ship to a halt.  Beyond the shuttle's viewport was the awesome majesty of a formation that early astronomers had dubbed 'The Pillars of Creation,' a vast collection of stellar phenomena that continued to inspire artists and poets.  The scientific community had long ago classified and catalogued it, noted its atypical coloration and odd spatial geometry, then moved on to some new mystery.  The souls of artists from a hundred worlds had been far less fickle and, from Andoria to Tellar to old Earth itself, many regarded it as the most spectacular of all the galaxies innumerable creations.  Geoff looked at it scornfully, desperate for anything upon which to vent his anger and grief, but the stars themselves were unmoved.  An impossible chill seemed to suffuse the cabin and Geoff found himself reaching out for the blanket as if in a trance, unable to stop himself from wrapping the thick soft wool around his shoulders like a shawl.  

He sat there for a time in silence.  How long was not a matter of seconds or minutes or hours, or any banal form of time keeping that could be expressed with the use of a timepiece.  The time was as long as it had to be, as grief and loss and the pain of tragedy threatened to overwhelm him in silence.  When at last he stood and the tears that had silently run down his face were spent he'd grown warm in the blankets gentle embrace and part of him knew it was time, at last, to say goodbye to his friend.  

Standing and turning towards the transporter controls, he considered again the words she'd asked him to speak aloud at this moment.  Geoff knew they came from an ancient blessing that her people had passed down from one generation to the next and could feel the truth in them, even if he struggled to accept it for himself.  His hand moved towards the controls but hesitated and his shoulders slumped.  

"Why?" he said to the air...or to the urn...or to the vast indifferent universe, "You didn't deserve this.  You deserved decades of love and peace and comfort.  You deserved to be honored...to be recognized.  To be seen and heard and celebrated."  His voice was horse with emotion.  "I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me.  When you needed one more miracle. When you needed a friend at the end of all things.  I'm...I'm so sorry."

Geoff sobbed, an exhausted and desperate longing for absolution consuming his heart and burning within his mind.  He raged, furious at a universe that could be so cruel and random, so capricious with its gifts and so generous with its miseries.  He mourned for his friend and for her family, for those she'd left behind and for those wonders she'd never get to experience.  And finally, at last, he allowed himself to feel it all.  All the shame and pain he'd stacked upon his soul.  All the awful self-recriminations and illogical guilt that he had lashed himself with since discovering that his friend had gone and he remained.  Then something strange happened.

A warmth suffused him, as if the blanket resting on his shoulders had settled deeper around his spirit and become a balm upon his very soul.  And he felt her.  Felt her kind, knowing smile.  Felt her compassion as a light which gently banished the darkness within him and gently chided him, as she always had, for imposing grief upon himself that she never would've wished for him.  Guilt was transmuted to understanding and agony made way for acceptance as her last gift to him sealed the breach within his soul from which he'd been invisibly bleeding to death.  

His shoulders straightened and the pallor of grief began fading from his face as he took a deep breath, at last prepared to say his final farewell to someone he'd come to cherish and respect.  His hand went to the transporter controls and when he spoke, his borrowed and ancient words were calm and clear.  

"If you've come to the end...you've only found another beginning.  Goodbye...my friend."  

The transporter whined and the urn shimmered blue and white, vanishing a moment later to begin its infinite journey through the majesty of the Pillars.  Geoff returned to the viewport and watched the canister drift away until he could no longer make it out against the towering bands of color and light and when he closed his eyes, he saw her smile written across those very same stars.  He finally understood why she'd asked this of him and thanked his friend, one final time, for the warmth she had once again shared with him when he most needed it.  When at last Geoff turned the runabout for home he was changed.  Transmuted through the crucible of grief and loss, his friend had helped him find a new beginning as her last act of charity.  It was a gift he'd cherish for as long as he lived.  
 

-For Mandy

Edited May 7, 2023 by Karrod Niac
Beach --> Breach and a missed 'He'

[LCDR Aine O. Sherlock]

That...is beyond words. Bravo.

[Nolen Hobart]

Somehow a single "like" reaction seems inadequate, here.

[+ Talia Ohnari]

This was really hard for me to read. But somehow it is exactly what I needed. Thank you. It was beautiful. 

[Jo Marshall]

A fabulous runner up entry for the Writing Challenge 2023! Well done, Brian!

One of our judges had some dedicated feedback for you: 

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'The Place Where All Sailors End' was a beautiful tribute to a player I've never met, but feel like my life would have been made all the better if I had gotten the chance. Not only is the story beautiful, but it gives an end for the character, offering closure to them and any who read it.