Lt Cmdr Wil Ukinix - Listen Like Thieves

[Rebecca Iko]

@Wil Ukinix Gave us one of the perfect Wil & Kehanni moments. I was pointing out a bit I loved, then another bit I loved, then realised the whole thing was great.

((XO’s Office, Level 1, Copernicus Center))

After several months, the practice of throwing countless PADDs into the replicator had become more than just a therapeutic activity.

It had become more than just an ad-hoc sport.

It was now an *art-form*.

Ukinix: Aaaaaaaannnnddd….. ::exhale::

The PADD was in Wil’s right hand.  With death defying speed, he wrapped his right arm around his back, and then with a deft touch “frisbeed” the PADD from his left side, with his right hand, towards the replicator.

Ukinix: ::quickly:: Recycle!

Streaks of glistening light filled the replicator’s bay.  They were gleefully waiting to recycle whatever landed in it.  This time, it was a spinning PADD, and it got it all.  Right in the middle.

Ukinix: ::Fist pump:: Yyyyes!

Rather pleased with himself, Wil lifted his hands in the air to celebrate his accomplishment, just as the door chime rang.

Ukinix: ::Cheerily:: Come in!

The door slid open, and with it came a wall of anger that filled Wil’s empathic senses like *ten* spinning PADDs making their way into a replicator.

Keehani: ::Flatly:: Come with me, I need your help.

Wil turned around to look at his second cousin, her hair up in a pony tail.  Her face was pale, her jaw was clenched, and her black eyes were piercing.  His second cousin was furious for some reason.

Wil observed her for a moment.  The last thing he wanted was to get involved in Keehani berating something or someone, so he instead reached over to his desk and picked up the stack of PADDs that were waiting to be artfully recycled.

Ukinix: Sorry Keehani, would love to, but I have a stack of PADDwork to do.  See?

Keehani: ::Flatly:: I need you to profusely curse at someone for me.

Ukinix: ::Quickly putting PADDs back on desk with a smile, excited tone:: Righto, lead the way!


((Glommer & Beagle – A few minutes later))

When they entered the pub, Wil smacked his hands together in delight.

Ukinix: Cursing *and* beers?  Keehani, you’ve made my day.

Keehani ignored her cousin’s sudden joy and exhaustive cheek, and instead looked around at the various tables that were packed with patrons.  It was like she was using her psionic senses to track down her prey.

Keehani: Where is he…

Ukinix: Where’s who?  You know, in the time it’s taken to get up here while you were fuming you could have spent that energy explaining to me what we’re doing here-

Keehani: There.  There he is, by the Four.

Wil followed after Keehani when she suddenly started clip-clopping in her shoes over towards a table.  Over Keehani’s shoulder he saw the back of a red-haired woman…

Ukinix: Evelyn!  G’day!

McLaren: Response

… and after a few more steps his view of the table was unobstructed.

Ukinix: Arty!  Hey, how are ya!

Summerside: Response

Keehani by that stage had stood at the end of the table, her arms crossed, staring at Arthur.  Undeterred, Wil ignored his second cousin and kept smiling.

Ukinix: ::To Arty:: Oh mate, ::quick click of fingers:: I promised you a bourbon. ::Turning to bartender:: Hey, can we get two bourbons over here?  On my account?

Bartender: Coming right up, Commander!

When the first Officer turned back to look at the others, all he could see were a pair of black Betazoid eyes that ripped through to his soul like a subspace tear.  Initially scared out of his pants, he eventually shrugged innocently.

Ukinix: ::Innocent tone:: What.  Wait.  Is this who you wanted me to swear at?  ::To Arty, playful tone:: Hey ya #@#%#@ @$@@, you @#$@# want a @#$@$ bourbon? ‘Cos I sure as #@$@ do. ::Chuckle::  Ahhh… ::blink of eyes, looking at Keehani:: Why are we swearing at Arty?  Did he write a bad article?  Because let’s be honest,  ::slight chuckle:: the expo and the rally didn’t exactly go smoothly.

Keehani turned back to give Arthur the same stare she had just given Wil.

Keehani: It depends if you consider yourself the First Officer of a paramilitary force.  Or if you’re OK with private conversations being recorded from a distance.

Ukinix: ::Furrowed eyebrow:: “Paramilitary”?

Summerside: Response

Keehani pressed a single finger down on the datapad that Arthur was holding, until the datapad slowly fell flat on the table with a “thunk”.  On it was the Briori Sun logo, with the headline “The Blinding Light of Friendship”.

Keehani:  ::Angry tone, pointing at Arthur:: It’s got *your* name on it, Arthur.  Yours!  ::Finger on chest:: And mine.  ::Finger pointed towards door::  And Rivi’s.  *And*, it’s smeared Jansen Orrey, a *fine* diplomat and former Starfleet Officer, and taken him completely out of context.  Is *this* how you want cooperation with us, hmm? ::shaking head:: Do you *really* expect the Diplomatic Corp to give you access to Ambassador Niarivi Vataix in the future after  ::pressing finger on datapad:: *this*?  The FNS at least understand the meaning of the word “ethics”.  By the Four, when Paris sees this article, they’ll be strapping a Quantum Slip Drive to the Eiffel tower to get here as fast as they can.  And not to “erase history”, Arthur, because our member worlds have histories they’d rather forget but they don’t, they wear it.  “Ugly colours,” huh?  ::pressing finger into table:: Well that’s better than black, Arthur, because that’s the only colour you’ll be getting from us from now on!  Do you understand that?  You…selfish… half-witted… messy-thinking, tribble farmer!  Wil, curse at him!

Wil’s jaw had already dropped in shock.  A second later he realised that the bartender was standing next to him, also frozen in shock, with one clear glass of brown liquid in each of his hands.

Bartender: ::meekly:: Uhh…two bourbons?

There was a momentary pause before Wil grabbed one of the glasses and tipped its contents down his throat.  After a small cough, he grabbed the second glass and downed that one too.

Ukinix: ::To bartender, strained tone:: Two more.

Summerside/McLaren: Responses

Keehani: ::To Arthur:: And to think I got you into the new year’s eve party.

Ukinix: ::clears throat:: If you’ll excuse me, I’m needed literally anywhere else-

Without taking her angry black eyes off of Arthur, Keehani reach her hand out and forcefully squeezed Wil’s forearm, to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere.

Summerside/McLaren: Responses


Tags/TBC!