[Round 3] "Dark Impulses"

[Msgrv32]

I know I was late getting this in but I only just solved my problems starting threads on the boards, please accept this only slightly late entry to Round 2!

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JP: Captain Ben Walker & Lt. Commander Jackford B. Kolk - "Dark Impulses"

((Captain's Ready Room - Almost Immediately))

::Jack felt passionately conflicted as he waited for his superior officer to enter and was therefore pacing energetically. He tried to get himself under control, but his sister was slipping away from them. That was something he simply didn't know how to deal with. He'd lost a sister once and he was NOT going to do it again. Never! When Ben entered, he couldn't stop himself. He simply set into him.::

Kolk: How could you let them talk you out of ejecting the core!? Cara's half-gone already! What if we lose her completely!?!

Walker: What else should I have done?

Kolk: I don't know, Ben. Something... Anything! Heck, you could have Falcon remove the blasted thing and blow it up! I really don't care, but we can't just leave Cara like this!

Walker: And what if that would have made things worse? I couldn't put the ship at risk like that.

::Kolk hardly noticed, but every muscle in his body was tense. He couldn't believe how calmly the Captain was acting. He thought the man cared about the Counselor as much as he did, but he was acting like he didn't even care that she was in danger! His hands instinctively curled into fists as he confronted the man.::

:: To say it was obvious his FO was upset was laughable. The way his hands instinctively curled into fists as he confronted Ben showed just how far it was. ::

Kolk: Forget the flipping ship, Ben!!! Cara's in danger! Don't you give a smeg?? I thought you cared about her!!

:: The words forced a crack in the icy calm. A crack that sounded like thunder in Ben's ears... or perhaps it was his pulse pounding. In an instant it all rushed past him. All the hours spent going over reports, the late nights lost going through new data from Starfleet, the worry that burned through his gut whenever he sent people on an away mission. The sound of Ro's voice as she accepted his apology, yet again, for missing a date because of ship's business. The sense of loss as his Captaincy denied him the friendships of Karynn, Ethan, Cara when they left to the Independence. The joy when circumstances brought Cara back. The additional gnawing must have passed in an instant. Cold resolve shifting to burning rage obviously held back by the most slender of threads. His voice came out in a low whisper, all the more compelling because of it..::

Walker: Take your best shot, Jack. Maybe you can even knock me out. Then you can do whatever the frell you want. But until you take command of your own ship, don't you EVER tell me to forget my ship. :: his voice raised in volume uncontrolled. :: Because until then...MISTER Kolk. YOU...HAVE...NO IDEA!

::The younger officer glared at his Captain. Ben was still talking about the ship. Defending the idea of protecting the ship. A bunch of duranium, plasma and EPS conduits, bio-neural gel packs, and on and on and on. The frelling ship didn't matter. Jack could rebuild it himself if he had to. And at this moment there was only one person aboard that he cared about: Cara. So defending the ship was probably the last line of reasoning that would've gotten through Jack's growing frustration. He tried to hold himself back. He did. He tried to think of something to shout back at the Romulan-born living-obstacle in front of him. But the kind of ire that was building in him didn't use words, it just acted... and shouted.::

Kolk: AHHHHHRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

::He lunged forward and swung at the man with a right hook. It may not have been elegant, and he may have been trained to fight much more efficiently, but all his training was a long ways out the airlock at this point.::

:: Ben saw the shot coming toward him. His mind went through the hundreds of counters, many if not most resulting in the other man's permanent injury or death. But his rage at the other wouldn't be denied so. He stood there, waiting for the punch to land. The crack as Jack's fist hit Ben's jaw thundered through him, moving with it, relishing the merely physical pain, he moved with the momentum of the blow, spinning around with a blow to the other man's head. ::

::The blow threw Jack sideways toward the desk, which kindly stopped him from falling to the ground by jamming itself into the side of his leg and causing him to spin and fall onto it, his elbows slamming down to hold him up. The pain in his face was more than that in his leg or elbows. He shook his head violently to clear his senses, but that just made his brain hurt. Pushing off, he stood up again and turned toward the other combatant. He felt his lip with his right hand and found a rather nice pool of blood making its way out from a large gash. He had half a mind to do it again - heck he had half a mind to pound the living daylights out of the other man, but suddenly something - maybe it was the blow to the head - jogged his memory, bringing to mind the image of his other self, gloating over the device he'd planted in the basement of an English inn, enjoying the pain it was about to inflict. There was an inhuman evil behind the man's smiling eyes. A darkness that belied the joy he feigned. The Alternate Jackford Kolk was dead inside. Shocked, he realized that the same impulse was in him, the same desire to hurt, maim, and kill, clawing to get out, desperate to eat way at his soul until he too was living dead. His expression instantly changed from hatred to horror.::

Kolk: Sir, I...

:: Looking down as the other man fell, part of Ben's mind went on automatic. Breaking down how to respond to the target's next moves, how to disable and defeat his opponent. The cold, analytical response jarred with the heat of his emotions. He wanted to make him understand...to make him feel the pain, to hurt him as he'd been hurt. He saw the look of confusion and contrition on the target's face. He felt a sneer building across his own, the veruul (Fool in Romulan) knew he had lost. He moved to finish him... and flashed back to his youth, the looks he'd received, how he vowed never to be that person. He turned away in sudden revulsion, realizing how close he'd come to being Tal'Shiar in truth for that moment. ::

Walker: :: his voice rough as he faced away from Jack:: forget it. It didn't... nothing happened.

::Jack stared at the Captain's turned back for a short moment, wondering what the other had been thinking, wondering if it was anything like his own dark thoughts. He opened his mouth, trying to think of something to say, somewhere to go from here. He couldn't just deny it, though. They had decked each other.::

Kolk: No, sir. Something did happen. I hit you and I wanted to go on hitting you. But I don't want to become that person, to become... ::he finished with a word they would both recognize:: Deviant.

:: Why couldn't he leave it alone? Why did he have to keep pressing. He could almost swear he heard Cara respond to his internal question. "Because that's what friends do". He turned to face the other man, worn by the internal struggle, and noticing a twinge in his jaw as he spoke. ::

Walker: And for that moment before I turned away, you were just a target to be removed. Exactly as that, :: he spat the word out:: school... taught me. You said the exact words, Jack. The exact, perfect words to make me forget my self control. How could I ever, EVER forget my responsibility to the crew of this ship?

::Jack paused. "...to the crew of this ship" The crew. He chuckled.::

Kolk: And here I was thinking I could rebuild the smegging ship if we lost it... that all that mattered was the one person most in danger.

:: Ben couldn't help but chuckle as well. He offered his hand to his FO, helping him stand back up::

Walker: So you thought I was putting the physical ship in front of the good of the crew. No wonder you were upset. But Jack...we don't know if firing off the core won't do more harm than good. I hate it as well... but we need the research time.

Teller: =/\= Sickbay to Commander Kolk. =/\=

::It never failed. There was always another voice interfering.::

Kolk: =/\= Kolk here. What is it, Doctor? =/\=

Teller: =/\= There is something going on in Sickbay. If you could please come down here as soon as you could. =/\=

::The First Officer almost chuckled. He'd rather go to Engineering and contribute to the "research time" personally, but...::

Kolk: =/\= I'll be there shortly. =/\=

Teller: =/\= Very good. See you then. =/\=

::The comm cut out and Jack exchanged gazes with the other man for a moment, fatigue written under his blue-green eyes.::

Kolk: I still think that device needs to be jettisoned, but I'll consent to keeping it aboard, completely unattached, at least until we flush the ship of subspace radiation.

Walker: Or until we find out what else we need to do to keep everyone safe.

::Jack nodded and turned to leave the room, then stopped.::

Kolk: One more thing, Cap... Ben? I'm sorry for loosing it. I just... I don't deal well with losing sisters.

Walker: We've both been under a lot of stress. Having Cara in danger didn't help. :: He smiled with a slight wince:: Though I definitely need to show you how to fight. A blind man could have dodged that shot. :: He smirked to make light of the comment::

::Jack smiled and shook his head. As he turned to leave, he nearly bumped into Wilde. The Englishman raised an eyebrow and let him pass. Once Jack was gone and Danny had entered, the Security Chief smiled and spoke with his usual English style.::

Wilde: Never a dull moment on this ship. I've almost missed it.

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Captain Ben Walker

CO, USS Ronin

&

LtCmdr. Jackford B. Kolk

First Officer, USS Ronin