[2009: NOV-DEC] Feedback

[Ryan Horn]

Reviews by Capt. Ben Walker:

First contact:

When reading Sci-fi stories in general, and Star Trek in particular, it is rare to see humans acting as they tend to do in real life. Reading through this story, I was struck not by the cruelty of the Cardassians, but the manipulation...and the feeling of a boardroom in modern day. Perhaps it would have been nothing but a futile gesture for those people to have argued with someone in such a position of power. But, instead they take the proverbial "golden parachute" trading humanity for power and prestige. To quote T.S. Elliot in 'The Hollow Men' "This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper." Excellent job!

Wake of Violence:

This was an interesting take on how the Cardassians took control of Earth, as well as the response of those left. It was an interesting read, akin to the movie Red Dawn back in the 80s where they put forth the concept of Russia doing a surprise attack on the US. An excellent read as well as bringing forth the question as to whether the ends justify the means. Is it acceptable to use genocide to fight off someone who has enslaved your people? Great story, looking forward to reading more!

[Ryan Horn]

Cmdr Toni Turner-West's Feedback:

Escape

By Kali Nicholotti

This story was well-written, telling of the plight of a young girl under the occupation of a cruel, merciless race such as the Cardassians, but it also could have been a story told of any oppressed race throughout Earth's history. While it was a very good story, it was reminiscent of any military oppression when many escaped by the acceptance of death, not really adding to the uniqueness of Cardassians to follow the current theme of the Writing Challenge... "What if the Cardassians had occupied Earth instead of Bajor?" That is the only thing I found missing from the work. Good job!

The Fall from Grace of Gul Monak

By Tal Tel-ar

Again I was impressed by the action in Tal's words. It was a hard-hitting story with the excellent discriptions that he always brings to his work, keeping the reader wondering what will come next. In this masterful death of the tyrant, he clearly showed why his own people found justification in bringing about his demise with only a farewell from a member of his family. Excellent story. Well done.

[Ryan Horn]

Reviews by Guest Judge Lt. (j.g.) Tallis Rhul

Children of Earth

Lt. (j.g.) Thomas Gregory

The details for the setting of this story were very well thought out, and it made for an interesting read. I enjoyed finding out how Janus’s plan came to fruition, and was able to feel involved in the story from the get-go. The Vulcans in particular were painted in quite a different light to the way they are in the “prime” universe, which was a refreshing touch.

One of the things I liked best about the story was the feeling that even the animals had sided with the Cardassians. The section that described the executions in Australia was very dark, and very much made me feel that Earth itself was beginning to turn against the Humans that lived there. Don’t be afraid to delve into your characters’ reactions in more detail too.

A compelling read!

Real Lips

Lt. (j.g.) Kevin Breeman

Sometimes when I’m reading a book, or a passage of prose, or an article, my attention wanders. I never mean it to, but it does. In this case that absolutely categorically did not and could not happen. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen for even a second. Maybe it was the first person perspective from which the story is written, or perhaps it’s the fact that everything I read relates to my real life, in the present day, that drew me in. Whatever it was, it intensified throughout the story. By the time I reached the last line, I was totally... engulfed.

This story takes what we know about the Cardassians and the processes that they use when occupying worlds and it makes them scary again. Terrifying in fact. Not from a horror-genre point of view, but from the point of view that these things happen in parts of the world right now. I also particularly liked the reference to the Christmas message of “Peace on Earth, good will to men”, that was a masterstroke.

The writing here is descriptive, compelling and powerful, and as you might already have figured, I am seriously impressed.

[Toni]

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Edited December 22, 2009 by Toni