[2007: JAN-FEB] Partial Reviews

[Jordan aka FltAdmlWolf]

Carmody:

This was another good story. The Caitian characters were a nice break from the normal human(oid)s, and was interesting to read about. The story was a bit unusual at times, and got a little confusing as well. The formatting didn't help this either, and I seemed to find my place lost a few times in the story, having to go back and reread a good chunk of it. The New Poets Guild was an intriguing concept, and kept me wanting more information about what it is. An interesting story, it was an enjoyable read.

Lt. Nemitor Atimen, reviewer

Ramirez:

This story was fun to read, and I enjoyed it. I liked how the theme of the contest, revolution, was always there. This kept emphasizing what the character was experiencing at that moment, and was quite interesting to be in 1st person. I also liked the detail about his dilemma - it helped me better understand the predicament. It was a nice length, just enough to read and absorb without having to sit down for a while, but it left me wanting more information. The one thing that lost me was half way through, with the change from 1st to 3rd person. The italics seemed to help a bit, but I still was lost for a few seconds, and only really noticed the change after a few lines. However the ending seemed to close the story nicely, and I hope to see more of your work in the future.

Lt. Nemitor Atimen, reviewer

USS Hunley – By William Carrington

Great story, I really enjoyed reading this piece, I was entertained right from the beginning and immediately found myself trying to figure out where the story was going, I admired the young man for his courage. Not for his courage under fire but for his self discipline in dealing with the formal dressing down.. I must admit I kind of figured out where the writer was going once the USS Hunley came under fire, I was not at all disappointed though, what I think swung it for me was not so much the story but how there seemed to be a slight admiration between some of the ships more senior personnel and this raw cadet.. It was a journey from one disappointment in his life to a success but also how others were involved… So, my humble advice on how to improve your writing skills.. difficult, I thought it was a great piece and given that you only had 3000 words to put your story across I think it was an excellent job and well deserving, I guess my only observation was a few spelling/grammar mistakes.. Hardly worthy of comment but sometimes that can be enough to sway a critic.. Proof read your piece several times and if possible get a friend to read through it

for you….

Great job William!

Cmdr. Taboo, reviewer

A Circle of Events – By Julia Harden

Great idea for a story and a subtle twist, so full of loss then when he got back what he longed for so much.. Yes she was a mirror of herself but still the same save for a few memories, was he more in love with her memory.. Perhaps this would free him once and for all from that pain, my heart went out to the clone and not the hero in the end.. Maybe that’s my romantic heart speaking… How could you improve on this story, perhaps more emotion and despair from Ruth, not really, I think she bled enough for both of them.. Writing in the writing challenge takes courage, you give a piece of yourself up for criticism in the hope of being recognized as a great writer, I loved this piece and I loved the idea, what makes a winning story is easy, it appeals to all of the judges equally, myself being the only hopeless romantic might not have been enough… What makes a good piece is one that YOU enjoyed writing and are proud of.. My advice is simply keep writing and don’t change.. You touched my imagination and made me fall for a clone… Keep up the good work, I will never tire of reading pieces like this, well done Julia…

Cmdr. Taboo, reviewer