Lieutenant Drex - Afraid of the unknown

[Alora DeVeau]

((Denali - Ring 42))

 

((OOC: this take place after the ceremony, of course))

 

 

The wind had grown stronger than a light breeze during the night, carrying dark clouds, and the waves had grown accordingly.

The weather on Denali was the same day after day, but from time to time, a day like that one occurred, and there was no forecast for it.

It was no weather to sail, not from that beach, but Drex was in no mood to sail anyway.

He sat on the sand, where the water could barely reach his nacked feet and wet them.

He sat with his legs slightly bent, one knee touching the sand laterally and the other bent towards his chest. He drew meaningless lines on the humid sand.

From time to time his gaze went from the drawings to the waves and back to the sand.

 

oO Do you think they will let me create this in the holodeck? Oo

 

With his hand he smoothed the sand, erasing the drawings. A year and two months. That was how long it had been since Dominique had asked him that question. And they both knew it wouldn’t be the same.

 

Drex: But are you sure it will be enough for you? :: He murmured remembering his reply ::

 

He wiped the sand off his hand on his pants and let his gaze wander over the growing sea. Patches of white foam stained the otherwise blue surface. 

The air was heavy with iodine and the sweetish scent of rotting, beached seaweed.

A longer wave pushed forward, threatening his pants, followed by two more equally brave waves.

Drex stood up and took a few steps back. The weather was getting worse.

 

oO It's getting mad at you. Oo The rough voice of his conscience awoke.

 

Drex: Do you want me to leave?

 

At first the sea seemed to retreat, but then it launched a new attack and the water rolled around his ankles.

 

Drex: Do you want me to stay?

 

Even if the sea gave him an answer, he could not change the orders that had come that night.

Ten hours. 

Ten hours to report to the USS Eagle. 

Ten hours to say goodbye to those left behind on Denali. 

Ten hours to call home and face his father for the thousandth time.

And he had spent half of that time on that beach staring at the sea, and memorizing sounds and scents. Trying to decide if he had to go or give up.

 

Drex: I don't want to hear ‘I told you so’. 

 

oO You won’t be home to see your niece be born. Oo

Why did his conscience have to twist the knife in the wound?

 

oO Your schedules will never match Dominique's. It won’t work. Oo

 

He let out an annoyed grunt. He bent down to pick up a rock and threw it forcefully at the oncoming wave.

 

Drex: I know all of this! :: He screamed to the water ::

 

oO Resign! Oo

 

Drex: I’m not done here yet!

 

oO You’re not gonna stay here anyway. Oo

 

Drex: I may return. 

 

oO Or you may not. Oo

 

Drex: If others can do it, so can I.

 

oO But you’re not the others. A spaceship is no place for you. For us. Oo

 

Drex: You mean for you.

 

oO Doesn’t make any difference. You can’t live staring at a black sky out of your windows. Oo

 

Drex: No, I can’t. :: He murmured :: But if I resign…

 

oO You’ll admit he was right. Oo

 

He shook his head in an attempt to shuffle the dice again and dissuade his conscience from continuing that discussion.

 

oO You'll make her worried. Again. Oo

 

Drex: Ayra will have a child to look after. I won’t go back to Kalus.

 

oO You’ll disappoint her. Oo

 

Drex: I’m not so sure she will go. Ships are no place for kids either.

 

The water had dug into the sand around his feet, causing him to sink, each new wave pushing him deeper. But Drex did not move.

 

oO You’re doing well Drex Oo A gentler voice crept into his mind.

 

Drex: Ayra… I’m sinking.

 

oO Are you sinking into a glass? You can swim as well as me, better than me. Oo

 

He tried to reply, but the wind swelled her voice.

 

oO You can do it, I know it. Oo

 

The wind roared and swelled the sea so much that the next wave swept over him.

With his feet stuck in the sand, Drex fell to the ground, barely managing to cover his face with his right arm before closing his eyes.

The sea overwhelmed him and he began to struggle, trying to free himself and bring his head to the surface. But his feet held him inexorably to the bottom.

He had never seen a storm like that hit Denali.

Darkness enveloped him and with it, the silence. His heart pounded in his ears. Fear made him kick hard and open his eyes.

Morning light filtered through the window of his apartment on the 38th floor of the Soldotna tower. During the night, the sheets had rolled up around his ankles. It took him several seconds and several deep breaths to put everything in order in his head. A dream. An awful nightmare.

He reached out to grab the PADD from the bedside table: “Lieutenant Drex - Transfer order”.

No, it was the awful reality.

Despair fought over his heart and mind and his hand trembled, but soon anger took over and he hurled the PADD at the opposite wall.

 

NT / END

 

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Lieutenant Drex

Science Officer

Denali Station

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