LT Gila Sadar - Blind Cowardice makes for Poor Shooting

[+ Salkath]

The ability of @Gila Sadar to fully portray manic self-conscious paranoia never ceases to amaze me. I love their writing! 

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(( Security Center - Deck 08, USS Artemis-A ))

It was like stepping back into a familiar nightmare that you were sure you’d outgrown by now. The firing range, the station filled with instruments of violence, the oppressive lighting and the overbearing officer intent on publicly humiliating her for her failures. Gila shook her head slightly, willing herself to disregard that thought. There was no ‘public’ humiliation about to ensure, considering that she and Lieutenant Savel were alone in the Holosuite, and Lieutenant Savel had no vested interest in making her any more uncomfortable than she already was. As colleagues, surely, they had a vested interest in this training sequence being a success...

Right?

Sadar: S-So... Where do we start?

Lieutenant Savel stepped to the other side of the weapon station, standing opposite Gila, like the Master of Arms that he was..

Savel: We begin with a brief safety message. Even though the holosuite's safety parameters are in place, and the phasers will not cause harm to other beings, please treat each phaser as if it were capable of doing so. I request that you do not aim any phaser at yourself or me. Only aim it at a target you actually wish to engage. If there are no questions about our safety rules, we can now begin.

Every fibre in Gila’s being fought to ask that one most important question.

oO CAN I EXCUSE MYSELF!? Oo

Sadar: N-N-No questions…

Lieutenant Savel looked down upon the Platform of Doom before him, and all the metallic instruments that had been placed before them. 

Savel: You are allowed your choice between a Type 1 Phaser or any of the various Type 2 Phasers available in front of you. My own preference is this one. ::reaching down to grab a phaser:: The Type 2 Aquila Mark Seven. I find the grip far more efficient for drawing the weapon quickly and keeping it stable during intense situations. It also only has five settings, as opposed to sixteen that the previous Type 2 version. ::placing the phaser back down on the station: You will notice the Mark Eight Aquila is not present, as you will be required to use the "kill" setting to engage certain targets. Choose your preferred phaser and we shall begin.

Gila’s mind had been anything but quiet in the time that Lieutenant Savel had given his instructions. It wasn’t that she didn’t think she required an expert’s opinion in terms of ensuring success for this particular endeavor, but her level was much more of a ‘how do I not feel nauseous when picking these damned things up’ and not ‘which grip is the most comfortable’, and as such, her brain had quickly taken her down a slippery slope to utter panic and a nervous breakdown.

oO Why are there so many phasers? What does Starfleet need this many phasers for? Why is a DOCTOR required to know how to- wait, did he say KILL!? Oo

Wide dark eyes moved up from staring a black hole into existence beneath the phasers - removing them from the equation entirely - to staring at the Vulcan with her mouth agape. Had she been expected to use the ‘kill’ setting in the Academy? If she was honest, that was entirely likely. Much like her current situation, she’d been so preoccupied by her brain’s acceleration towards the inevitable sanity crash that she’d barely paid attention to Professor Tullen’s briefs on how to do the test the first time. By her third try, she’d applied the age-old principle of ‘monkey see, monkey do’, but she was certain she’d never put the damnable things on KILL before! No wonder she barely passed... Not that that realization helped her current predicament any, whatsoever.

Finding no rescue in the Vulcan Lieutenant’s studious face, Gila attempted to regain a sense of moisture in her mouth, which had suddenly gone drier than Vulcan’s Forge itself, and blindly, she reached for one of the phasers. One instrument of death was as terrible as the other, right? Lieutenant Savel raised an eyebrow, making Gila feel suitably ashamed that she couldn’t base her choice on another more than ‘I’m already doomed anyway’, before he turned about and walked towards the range.

Gila followed, her long legs requiring significant cerebral attention in order to not fall away beneath her. That last thing she needed right now was falling over her own feet.

Savel: This range will likely be familiar to you from your Academy training, as will the course of fire that you will be participating in. I will still explain it prior to you starting, however, so that there is no confusion. ::looking to the range and causing the targets to appear as he spoke:: You will be required to engage various targets as they appear. The targets will present for several seconds and will illuminate one of three colors. Green requires a stun shot, orange requires disruption, and red will require your phaser to be set to kill. Engaging a target with the wrong setting will count as a miss, as will failing to successfully hit the target before it drops down.

oO Oh... So that’s what the colors meant… Oo

Gila had fully thought they signified some kind of countdown, with red being the ones she had to shoot as quickly as possible...

The Wheel showed her some mercy that day, in that the targets did not resemble anything more than large rectangular shapes.

oO Imagine it’s a tumor, imagine it’s a tumor, imagine it’s a tumor Oo

So wrapped up in her mental preparation for having to shoot a target - an already anxiety-inducing concept - Gila startled when Lieutenant Savel unexpectedly started talking again, her grip on the phaser tightening to the point where all the lavender coloring in her the skin around her knuckles disappeared, leaving only white.

Savel: ::looking straight to Gila once again:: As this is something of an area of expertise for me, Lieutenant, I will offer some advice. Remember that each shot is a decision that only you control. The phaser is simply a tool that responds to your inputs. It should do nothing that surprises you, or frightens you, as the outcome of each use is predictable. ::a slight pause:: If you have no questions, Lieutenant, then we shall begin. Should you need me to pause or stop the program at any point please let me know immediately.

oO I suddenly feel very faint - can we reschedule? A rain check? Perhaps for next year? Oo

Gila sensed the room starting to spin, and she started breathing again, reminding herself that fainting would definitely be a poor look for the counselor’s notes.

Sadar: O-O-One question, L-Lieutenant... ::Gila swallowed a lump:: H-How do I set a phaser to k-k-k-k-k - Uhh, how do I alter the settings again?

She was certain she was supposed to know this, but she hadn’t had to program a phaser since the Academy. Last time she even held a phaser was... It was when Lieutenant Silveira handed her one when the Desdemona crew attempted to steal the Artemis, and at that time, the Lieutenant had handled the programming of the damned thing.

Her mind was completely blank as to how he did so.

Savel: Response

Oh, right. Gila nodded slowly, doing as the Lieutenant instructed, before turning to look at the range. Right.

Was she ready? Nowhere even close, but she didn’t see any point in delaying her humiliation any further.

A chime rang, indicating that Lieutenant Savel had initiated the program, and the first targets started popping up.

oO Settings. Settings. Oo

A green one was closest to her - what did that mean again? Stun, surely? - and Gila aimed and shot, squeezing her eyes shut as she did so. The sensation from the phaser as the shot was sent out was enough to make her stomach do flip-flops in outraged rebellion, and it took Glia half a second to open her eyes once more. She hadn’t seen whether she’d even hit the target, as she turned towards the next target.

The color of blood and fire burned into her eyes, and Gila’s fingers stuttered as she tried to alter the settings, but in her frenzied attempt, she accidentally made the phaser go off again - definitely not set to stun - and she hit the very edge of the target. The unexpected phaser shot made her jump again, but some experience she did have, and as such she gripped the phaser tightly in her hands. She heard Professor Tullen’s bellowing voice in her mind’s ear, cold sweat breaking out between her nuchal folds in response.

oO Cadet, if I see you drop that phaser ONE MORE TIME, I’ll have you thrown out of this range by your hood scruff! Oo

Not the most embarrassing way she’d been reprimanded during her time in the Academy, but definitely one that had stuck with her.

The targets switched around once more, the allotted time for her initial shots passed, and Gila couldn’t tell how well she did at all. With the collective sum of perceived failures steadily growing, Gila started ignoring the red targets altogether, focusing instead of getting as clear shots on the green and orange targets as she could. It went slightly better - at least in terms of actually controlling her rate of fire, since she no longer had the added complication of unintended misfires - but she still had no clue how many of the targets she actually hit, with her eyes switching between a frenzied rolling pace in her skull and being shuttered behind squeezed eyelids.

Savel: Response

The chime indicating the end of the programme rang, and Gila froze in place, fast-paced breathing preventing her from calming down for many seconds. Eventually, she managed to lower her arms, and she felt shame and failure seep into her bones, a familiar chill that spread throughout her limbs.

Sadar: S-S-Sorry Lieutenant... 

According to the holodeck programme’s counter, she’d actually done a little better than she had back during her final examination during phaser training in the Academy, but she was well aware that it was far from a decent score.

Savel: Response

 

TAG/TBC

 

LT Gila Sadar

Medical Officer

USS Artemis-AA

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