LtJg Sasch Kreshkova - I Didn't Mean to Cause a Scene

[Theo Whittaker]

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((USS Narendra, Sickbay))

Sasch sat at her console.  She had already put in the coordinates to return them to SB 118, so now, her hands lay flat on the console without any movement.  Her eyes had become fixated at a point between her hands as she tried to cogitate over what had happened to her in the last hour.  And while there were many things that she did that helped keep the crew safe, all she could consider was that she had become a Borg drone.  She could have hurt so many people…But she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.  She recognized him as one of the Narendra’s other pilots.

Deluna:  ::Stepping up beside the console.:: I’m here to relieve you, Lieutenant.  You’re free to head to sickbay.

It took Sasch a moment to process what he had said.  Once she realized what he was telling her, she stood up from her seat without so much as a word and turned slowly and gingerly to head for the turbolift doors.  

Was everyone watching her?  Were they afraid of her?  Every single one of them on the bridge knew what she had become.  They had watched her transform into a drone - a mindless killing machine.

Oo  But I didn’t kill anyvone, oO she reminded herself.  

Oo But you could have, oO an internal voice told her.  Oo You still could. oO  It taunted her.

Her mouth opened to angrily form the word, ‘No,’ but she caught herself just in time.   She was aware that any outburst would draw more attention to her, and that was the last thing she wanted.  She could already feel the redness creeping up her neck to her ears - a tell-tale sign that she was embarrassed.

But on her way to the turbolift, she felt dizzy and for a second, she wasn’t sure that she was going to be able to keep her footing, so she reached out for a console to steady herself, refusing to look at the person manning the console.  She couldn’t bear to see the disdain for her that she knew must be written in their eyes.  Part of her wanted to go nowhere but her quarters and find a way to self-medicate herself to sleep, but her concern for her shipmates - if the medicine Tito had given her was suddenly ineffective - won out over her current embarrassment.  Actually, it was the thought of being further shamed if she transformed into a drone once again, that drove her to head to sickbay.  

As the pilot entered the turbolift, she realized that something was oozing down beside her right eye.  She reached a hand up to feel for what was causing it.  But as soon as her fingers touched her temple, she grimaced.  The pain, which she wasn’t even aware of until that moment - her focus being completely elsewhere, surged through her entire head.  She turned herself sideways and nearly lost what little contents she had in her stomach.  She knew she wasn’t the only one who had entered the turbolift, but she dare not raise her eyes to them, even to apologize for nearly coating their footwear with detritus from her stomach.  Once she gained a bit more control over herself, she gently held the material of her uniform at her wrist against the gash on her head in hopes of staunching the flow of blood.

Fortunately for her, the ride to sickbay was short.  Letting everyone else who was getting off go before her go, she lagged back.  Her head was pouding; her wrists were sore, as were her ribs - probably from when the shockwave tossed her chest and then head into the console.  Sasch joined the back of the queue outside of sickbay, waiting her turn.  Slowly, person by person, the line ahead of her continued to shrink until she finally made it within the confines of sickbay itself.  

Still, her eyes never left the floor.  And when the last person in front of her had been ushered to a biobed, she was afraid to look up.  A moment of panic seized her.  Oo  Zhis is silly,  I…I don’t… really don’t need to be here.  Zhe ozhers, zhey are vorse off zhan I am.  Maybe I’ll just go back to my qvarters.oO 

But she as she took her first step toward the door.  She heard a nurse say …

Nurse: Doctor Wethern can see you now, Lieutenant.

Wethern.  Wethern.  With the throbbing in her head, it took Sasch a moment to place the name.  She had met him in a tavern on Bardeez.  He had seemed nice enough at the time, and if she had just hit her head or banged her ribs, she wouldn’t have hesitated to see him.  But she couldn’t … she just couldn’t get past this overwhelming sense of shame over what she had become - even if temporarily.  Turning her head in the direction of the door so she didn’t have to look at either Wethern or the nurse she said …

Kreshkova:  I zhink, I’ll return to my qvarters.  I’m sure I vill be fine.

Nurse:  Lieutenant, you’ve obviously got a cut on your temple.  If nothing else, you need that cleaned and repaired.  ::Motions to Wethern to come help her with the Russian.::

Wethern:  ?

Kreshkova:  Really. ::Her volume rising slightly and backing away from the direction of the two staff::  I zink, I vill be fine.  

But at the increased volume resonating around in her cranium, this time, the sound and the pain were too much for her, and she did lose what little contents she had in her stomach.

Wethern:  ?

Embarrassed even further - and knowing that there was now no way she was getting out of sickbay without being seen, Sasch acquiesced to treatment.  And since treatment meant a visit to the biobed, she allowed herself to be led over.  And while her eyes weren’t glued to the floor, she couldn’t bring herself to look the doctor in the eye.  Instead, she focused on his chin as she said …

Kreshkova:  I am sorry, doctor Wezhern.  I didn’t mean to cause a scene.

Wethern: ?

~*~
tags/tbc
~*~
LtJg Sasch Kreshkova
Helm
SB 118
OPSO240103SK2

This is another stunning character piece, set in the wake of the Battle of Frontier Day. I was engrossed from start to finish @Sasch Kreshkova ❤️