Ensign Niev Galanis - Wake Up and Smell the Ashes

[Gnai]

If people couldn't figure out from my previous appreciations posts, I REALLY like reading about people ruminating on the aftermath of Frontier Day. I really love @Niev Galanis's take on their character's mental state immediately following Frontier Day - right in the middle of their recovery at Starfleet Medical.

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((Niev’s Room, Starfleet Medical Center -  San Francisco - Earth))

 

((OOC: This sim takes place very shortly after Frontier Day, before Niev requests a transfer to a different facility and the sim with Bec takes place!))

 

Everything had been turned upside down. Even though what had happened was unequivocally, desperately real… it still felt unthinkable. There had been a few brief, precious moments as Niev had awoken that they could have sworn they were in their familiar bunk back on Velestus, feeling the ocean gently rocking the ship from side to side. Then the pain hit, and it all came rushing back.

 

At some point they’d been brought down to Earth - they didn’t know how or why, or even who had done it. There was a giant gulf of memory between collapsing in a heap on the Engineering deck and waking up in the bed they were in now. It didn’t take long before Niev was wishing they’d been hit hard enough to forget the rest of the day as well… but much of it remained. Too much.

 

For a while, time itself became an unknowable concept to the Centauran. It was day, it was night - it didn’t seem to change how continuously busy the medical center was, and Niev wasn’t interested in counting. There were people bustling out in the hallway at all hours of the day, making it impossible to forget where they were. When the androgyne could move again, only the pain kept them from curling up in a small ball and pulling away from the walls that hid the other injured.

 

Niev had done this.

 

They weren’t unreasonable about it. The scientist fully understood that it had been the Borg Collective driving their actions. Niev knew they never would have personally done what Seven of Eleven had. But that didn’t change the fact that so many lives had been taken by the hands they saw every time they looked down. It didn’t change those moments of lucidity their fellow assimilated had used to fight the control Niev had chosen to waste on refusing to face reality.

 

None of the doctors had offered a PADD, and Niev hadn’t asked for one. Thinking about looking at the casualty lists felt like an icy, skeletal hand gripping down and crushing the Centauran’s insides. They didn’t want to know. They told themself they were better off not knowing. Better to sit here in the limbo of their room than venture out and find judgment… even if being in the medical center itself felt like being held under the surface of water.

 

This was life for Niev Galanis for the time immediately after Frontier Day, and it seemed like it might stretch on into an eternity… right up until they’d received word they had visitors. 

 

There was one unfamiliar name… and one that made Niev’s heart feel as though it had stopped in their chest. There was no singular word that could capture the storm of emotions building deep within the Centauran. It took a hard biting of the inside of their cheek to restrain it and leash the sudden urge to lose control of their feelings.

 

The quarter hour it took between being notified there’d be guests and the knock and chime at the door finally sending was painstaking, full of anxious tension and questions. The Galadoran hadn’t just been Niev’s closest friend at the Academy - it had been the first friend Niev could actually call close. The Centauran wanted to let the relief wash over them, but it wouldn’t properly come. Not when they weren’t even sure why Gnai and Lieutenant Yirah were here.

 

The door mercifully broke Niev out of the cycle of worry, but they found the words freezing up on the tip of their tongue. What should they say? What could they say? When Niev finally settled on something, it croaked out of a dry and scratchy throat. It was only now that the androgyne realized they hadn’t spoken more than a handful of words since waking up.

 

Galanis: …Enter.

 

Gnai: Niev, it’s Gnai! ::brief pause:: And Lieutenant Yirah.

 

The Centauran felt their breath catch in their throat. It was the suit’s voice - Gnai’s voice. The speakers sounded as though they were crackling much more than Niev remembered, but they would know that robotic voice anywhere. A moment of lower volume conversation followed, and then the door slid open 

 

Gnai: Niev, it’s good to see you.

 

The Galadoran entered, looking exactly as Niev remembered them - sans what appeared to be a new suit. The Collective hadn’t deemed sharing the details of the fate of Gnai’s former suit relevant to the assimilated Centauran. All the ensign had known was that it had been destroyed. Behind him entered Lieutenant Yirah - one of the Elevens whom Niev hadn’t encountered that day.

 

While it may have been good to see Niev, the formerly fresh graduate looked anything but. The worst of the phaser burns had been healed, but the short-sleeved hospital garment on the lithe Centauran’s torso gave a glimpse at just how many times they’d tasted the sting of stunning. Their bangs hung over the white bandages wrapped around their head, contrasting with fading purplish signs of a black eye on the left side of their face. Even the hand they lifted lightly to wave was still swollen, thumbs set back in their proper places but yet to be given a final treatment.

 

A brief, awkward moment of silence hung in the air as Niev struggled to form the words. They could feel that mental leash they held pulling taut, crackling and stretching as it strained upon seeing the pleasantly blue Galadoran in one piece.

 

Galanis: It’s… good to see you too, Gnai.

 

Yirah: I'm Indrid Yirah. It's good to meet you Niev.

 

Shifting their sea-green gaze toward the Trill, Niev gave a curt nod. It was a relief he didn’t use his rank. The word ‘ensign’ didn’t roll off the Centauran’s tongue the same way it did when they were looking forward to graduation now. At the same time, he was a Starfleet Officer…

 

Galanis: Likewise… sir.

 

Yirah: ::gesturing to the window:: It's a nice view.

 

Niev followed the gesture, looking toward the window and having the realization dawn on them.

 

Galanis: I… haven’t actually looked.

 

Gnai: Can you see the crater, from here?

 

The Centauran blinked, looking totally befuddled for a few moments. Indrid and Gnai could likely see the thought process playing out in real time on Niev’s face as the reference made itself clear. Terra Luna. The final resting place of the Kitty Hawk’s saucer. Though their tone was still awkwardly stilted, Gnai’s attempt at humor brought a thoughtful look to Niev’s face.

 

Galanis: Oh… it would have crashed on the side you can see from Earth with a telescope. It will never erode, they would never fill it back in… it might be there forever, now.

 

The somewhat heavy observation flowed well into Gnai’s decision to bring up the elephant in the room, whether Niev intended it to or not. In the few moments of silence before it asked, it was as though the Centauran could feel the question coming.

 

Gnai: How are you both faring?

 

Galanis: ::awkwardly, words tight and flat:: I’m… alive.

 

Yirah: Response

 

Gnai: This just… ::pause:: This wanted to actually just talk about what happened. With others that might understand. It’s hard to talk about what happened…

 

It felt like being impaled straight through the chest, though the Galadoran’s words had landed with their proper intent. The feeling was just too strong - strong enough it hurt, whether it was positive or negative. Since the two had walked in, Niev’s worries had retreated to the back of their mind, but they’d still whispered. Maybe Gnai had come to tell Niev it couldn’t bear associating with them anymore. Maybe the Lieutenant had come to levy charges against Niev for what they’d done to Captain Rahman.

 

But no. They had come… to talk.

 

Gnai: That doesn’t need to be the topic of conversation though. Not if it’s too soon.

 

Galanis: No, it’s…

 

Yirah: Response

 

Niev looked as though they wanted to say something more for a few moments, their lips twitching, then quivering… and then a sudden, loud, and unmistakable sob burst forth. They reacted like they’d just done something embarrassing, like let out a sneeze without covering their mouth, struggling to hold it all back while tears stung the edges of their version.

 

Galanis: ::emotional, words somewhat broken up:: I can’t believe you’re all right. Tharon’s beard, Gnai! I thought you were… were…

 

Gnai/Yirah: Response

 

The monumental effort it took to reel in the humiliating outburst of emotion was on display for all to see. Niev swallowed down another sob, even tensing their jaw and gritting their teeth to keep it down. Reaching a swollen hand up to rapidly wipe at their face, the ensign shook their head rapidly.

 

Galanis: No, no… I apologize, I will be fine. It’s just been… a lot. Not knowing. Not wanting to know. How did you keep yourselves safe?

 

Gnai/Yirah: Response

 

Galanis: I didn’t get the details. They were deemed… ::said with pronounced distaste:: …irrelevant.

 

Gnai/Yirah: Response

 

 

TAG!/TBC…