Lt. Jg. Kim Stapledon - Like Frozen Water or Stone

[IsKah]

This is a great sim by @kimstapledon It made me feel Kim's pain

 

Quote

((Kim's Quarters))

Is'Kah had come to her quarters to discuss what had happened during the mission.  It seemed to Kim -- perhaps to her relief -- that she had something to get off of her own chest.

Stapledon:  Would you like to talk about it?

Is’Kah: The Ronin responded to a distress call, but by the time we arrived, the attackers had stripped the freighter of anything they wanted and disappeared. We found a child to be the only survivor. We tracked them down to a nearby solar system; however, we changed course to a solar system in the asymptotic giant branch phase due to another distress call. They were under attack.

Stapledon:  And then what happened?

Is’Kah: The Consortium set off a solar flare as a weapon against us. I told Commander Raga that our metaphasic shields would protect us, but they didn’t. My failure would end up cost fi-fifty-se-seven lives. :: A tear slid down her cheek.:: Our defenses were nearly useless against it as it completely disabled the ship. We were only on emergency systems; even the bridge’s EPS Generators were offline. We rammed the other ship, and in all the confusion, spider bots and several Robotic Life Forms or RoLF invaded the ship. While defending the ship, I was us- ::her voice broke:: useless defending the ship and let Crewman Baker g-get r-ripped ap-apart because I can’t target a thing. We lost so many because of my recommendation.

She saw Is'Kah run her hands over her face, exhaling slowly.

Kim felt her eyes well up and a tear stream down her cheek.  

Stapledon:  I'm sorry.  That sounds horrible. 

Is’Kah: I pray that this ship will never experience it.

Kim didn't know what to say.  She hated the dreams.

Stapledon:  Have you been...  You know...  dreaming about it?

Is'Kah held up her hands, covered in something.

Is’Kah: I get to wear these for another few weeks because of my dreams. I attacked the bulkhead in my quarters while thinking I was defending the ship. It felt so real in the moment, but it was just a hallucination from being awake from stims for six days straight. I nearly killed myself from blood loss from shattering my hands and forearms, and shrapnel after I repeatedly smashed my room's table into the wall.

She swallowed, trying to speak like a therapist.  She could help Is'Kah.  Yes, that was easier.

Stapledon: Is'Kah, you tried your best.. ::Another tear streamed down her face::  You did your best.  You're a fighter, you...

The words came out weakly, trailing off as she began to cry.

She clenched her fists, then clasped one hand in the other, squeezing, terrified that she would spend the rest of her life waking up in cold sweats, her stomach flipping upside down after she failed to keep her promises to the dead.

Is’Kah: I see the moment every time I close my eyes. I see his bl-blood pooling around him. I hear his screams echoing in my ears. Sometimes h-he grabs my unform with a bloody hand, demanding to know why I failed him and the crew. Other times, he’s replaced with a lost en-engineer ::anger on her face and in voice:: that was murdered by that things machines. If I ever see his rocky face, I will pry the stone from him piece by piece ::hissed through closed teeth:: so he suffers like he made Clara.

Kim squeezed her other hand harder as she held down a sob.  She felt the sensation of an officer's skull crunching under her fist again, saw the sight of Nemo, back broken, neck twisted after trying to help her learn the ropes only moments before.  And she realized the person across from her was voicing exactly what countless others felt toward her.  She hadn't failed to protect her ship from someone else.  She had become someone else.

Stapledon:  ::Through tears::  I'm s.. sorry.  

Is'Kah continued.

Is’Kah: I know it is unbecoming to harbor hate for any living creature, but Wrath deserves it. We are nothing but ::hisses:: prey to him. He’s that child that pulls the wings off flies, harms animals, or other cruel things. He is a psychopath who gives psychopaths a bad name. As slippery as a cockroach, he managed to get away from us. Unfortunately, he got away from an antimatter explosion at the end.

Wrath deserved it.  Kim deserved it.  She felt her body stiffen, like frozen water.  Or stone.  She blinked, stuck.  She wanted to wrap her arms around herself but she couldn't move.

Stapledon: I didn't mean to...  I can't.. move....

Is’Kah: Response?

Stapledon:  I still see them..  ::Gasping::  I.. killed... them... I can still feel bone cracking...  A.. gainst my fist.

Is’Kah: Response?

Stapledon:  I'm sorry....

Is’Kah: Response?

 

 

--

Lt. Jg Kimberly Stapledon

Acting Chief of Science

USS Chin'toka

I238601KB0