JP: Senior Cmdr Nugra & Lt. JG Park & PNPC Lt. JG Ilix - The Summation of a Practical Joke.

[Jalana]

((Intel Office, USS Constitution-B))

Ellie scowled as she pressed the chime to the Intel Office where the computer had told her Nugra was. After she had dispersed from the others at the meeting, she had huffed and made the determined trek here.

Nugra Tk’Moong was lost in thought as his eyes read the lines to the quarterly intelligence review for the Marchlands. Starfleet Intelligence had some concerns and were updating all Intelligence officers.

Some of the data was weird but nothing substantial yet. That was why the Gorn did not look up when he heard the door hiss open and someone walk in front of the desk.

Ilix: Expecting someone, sir?

Nugra: ::without looking up:: Yes?

Ellie looked at the Gorn and spoke low, far more aggressively than her normal self. She may be normally a chill person, but she had 3 brothers. She wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself.

Park: YOU!

The Gorn’s head shot up to see the furious face of Lieutenant Ellie Park. He was confused and very amused about this adorable five foot
eight mammal trying to look intimidating. He kept his face neutral.

Nugra: Lieutenant.

She leaned over his desk and began to poke him in the chest.

Park: ::poking him with an accusing finger:: YOU ::poke:: LIED ::poke:: TO ::poke:: ME! ::poke::

Nugra: ::confused:: What? What are you speaking of?

Ellie huffed and rolled her eyes.

Park: You know what! Just when were you going to tell me you were a.. Lying liar of a Gorn?

The lizard was absolutely confused at the moment trying to remember the last time he had spoken to her.

Ilix: ::He murmured::  Computer, make a personal note. Never refuse an order from Doc Park.

Nugra: You have me at a disadvantage, Mister Park.

Ellie gave another scowl and crossed her arms. Disadvantage? As if.

Park: Then allow me to refresh that lizard brain of yours. ::she started doing what was, honestly, a horrible impression of Nugra as she paraphrased what she remembered of his doom speech:: “I have seen quite a few terrifying things, Lieutenant, but do you know what the scariest thing I have ever seen? It's when Commodore Rajel loses her temper. I would rather face the Dominion on my own than anger her.”

Ellie pointed another accusing finger at the Gorn.

Park: So explain, Sir, why does everyone seem to think that she’s nice? Why she.. ::blushing:: has been nice to me?!

Ilix: Don’t mind me. ::He munched on a crisp::

Oh! That was it. It was so hard not to break into the largest laugh of his life. She had finally learned the truth of the bubbly commanding officer of the USS Constitution. It seemed that Ellie Park had believed his story about her being a nightmare to work with.

For a moment, Nugra thought to laugh and apologize but another thought crossed his mind. He stood to his full seven foot height with a serious look on his face.

Nugra: Commodore Rajel was nice? To you and everyone?

Park: Yes!

Tann’s brow raised while he enjoyed another crisp, everyone knew Jalana was nice. The crew often referred to her as Mama Bear over how
protective she was of them all.

Ellie raised her hands in exasperation and rolled her eyes. Was he really that dense?

Without hesitating, he swiftly moved over to the built in safe, tapped in the security code and reached in. In his claws, he pulled out two phasers and turned to the medical Officer.

Nugra: That’s not the Commodore. We have a security breach.

It took everything in him to not break out in laughter.

Ilix: Understood, sir.

Ellie’s eyes widened as she watched Nugra move to grab phasers and tried to process his statement. He wasn’t serious. Right? …Right?? She looked over at the other officer that she was finally registering then looked back at Nugra.

Park: Wha-?

The Gorn tossed her the phaser and marched towards the door.

Nugra: ::lying:: There were  rumors in Starfleet Intelligence of androids are on the loose. If it has taken the ship, the rest of the command staff cannot be trusted.

Never in his life would he have expected a Gorn to be the sort to pull a prank but there was no way he wasn’t going to witness this. Bag of crisps in hand he followed a few steps behind.

Ellie held the phaser in the palm of both her hands, looking down at it as if it was something gross that she didn’t want to touch.

Park: A.. android…

Ilix: Can look and sound like anyone. ::He muttered whilst chewing::

She mumbled, trying to figure out just how the tables had turned from her scolding the Gorn to being told that there was a security breach. That somehow meant she needed to help him.. She briefly wondered if she had hit her head somehow.

Nugra: You and I need to go to the bridge and secure it. If we must commit mutiny, that is what we will do.

Park: A mutiny.. ::she repeated::

Tann looked behind them if only to conceal the absolute grin on his face and stifle the chuckle that almost escaped.

The Gorn waited to see if his ridiculous hyperbole began to dawn on the woman.

Something clicked inside Ellie and she made a point not to show it, instead deciding to play along.

Park: You’re right! We could all be in danger.

Nugra:Good that you were onboard.

The Gorn was not an expert at reading facial expressions but the inflection of her voice was easy to pick up. There was a good chance she had realized what he was doing.

Ilix: Mutinies for everyone!

Park: But.. ::frowning:: How do I know you aren’t one of them?

Nugra: What do you mean?

Ilix: Androids can be anyone, but we have tests for that. ::Munch::

Ellie shook her head emphatically and pointed the phaser at Nugra.

Park: No, there’s no time for tests. The crew could be in danger! I’ll just have to stun you and lock you in the brig before taking the bridge myself. ::She looked him in the eye, challenging.::

There was a reason that he handed out dead phasers that needed to go to engineering for repairs.

Nugra: You think threatening a superior officer is the correct solution? Do you understand your duty to this ship?

Ilix: ::munch::

Tann leaned against the wall and watched with amusement.

Park: No, no. I understand my duty. It can’t be helped. You understand of course?

Nugra: If you feel that you are cold blooded enough.

Tann looked down at his bag, which was now mostly empty. He was running out of crisps.

Park: And of course, you must also think I’m a FREAKING IDIOT!

Ellie yelled and threw the phaser at his head, knowing that it really wouldn’t do any damage. The Gorn had survived an explosion to his torso. A medical officer throwing a phaser at him was surely laughable, but dang if it didn’t feel good anyway.

The phaser bounced off his head barely making sensation. His scales were extremely tough so it would take a lot of abuse to get through. The Gorn let out a deep bellow which was his species equivalent of a laugh. He hadn’t laughed that deep in a long time.

Tann did allow himself to laugh this time, this was a story he would cherish forever. “Did I ever tell you about the time I witnessed a Gorn prank?”

Nugra: You are quite amusing to toy with, Lieutenant Park.

Ellie scowled, crossing her arms in frustration. She did not enjoy being the butt of jokes.

Park: Oh I am, am I? You are gambling with someone who could bench you from work you know!

Ilix: For your sake sir I hope you don’t end up needing to go to Sickbay anytime soon. ::He smirked::

Ellie nodded and tried very hard to look serious. As if she would ever mistreat someone in need of care.

Nugra: Oh? Someone had once told me that I had to learn to lighten up and laugh at things. I remembered that my people used to have jokes like this so I thought you would enjoy it.

Park: ::sighing:: I think you need a lesson on delivery…

Ilix: Gorn jokes? Definitely not what I expected, and yet even your jokes are dangerous.

Nugra: I see comedy does not cross culture that easily but for the record. The look on your face is something I will treasure for quite
some time.

Park: Well I’m glad you enjoyed my suffering. I really thought I had to be worried about getting into trouble!

Tann chimed in whilst still smiling, though he was out of crisps now the experience had definitely been worth it. As someone who was far from skilled at social interactions this was a learning experience.

Ilix: To be fair, what Senior Commander Nugra said about Jalana is true. Her temper is worthy of aw, but it’s never once been directed at any of the crew. More than a few enemies of Starfleet have witnessed it though and it is both frightening and also heartening to know how much she cares about us.

Nugra: Mister Ilix makes a good point.

Park: Well that I can handle. ::glaring at Nugra:: I’m starting to think maybe you gave her reason to raise hell at you! Something I can relate to.

The Tandaran smiled innocently at the two of them while he crumpled up his now vacant bag of crisps.

Ilix: From a zoological standpoint this was fascinating. Who knew that a Gorn’s natural predator would be any woman under six feet. ::He chuckled::

Nugra: I have known Jalana quite some time…I’m not surprised.

Park: Well you should be scared! Revenge is a dish best served cold my friend.

Ellie glared at Nugra. She wasn’t angry anymore- annoyed yes, but now that she knew it was a joke she didn’t have it in her to stay mad. Still, that didn’t mean she couldn’t get the Gorn back somehow.

----
JP by:

LtJG Dr. Eleanor "Ellie" Park
Asst. Chief Medical Officer
USS Constitution-B
A238908T10

&

Senior Commander Nugra
Intelligence Officer
USS Constitution-B

As Simmed by

Lt. Commander Diz'mim Ch'Nilmani
First Officer
USS Constitution-B NCC 9012-B
V238008N10

&

Lieutenant JG Tann Ilix
Intelligence Officer

As simmed by

Lieutenant JG Lystra
Tactical/Security Officer
USS Constitution-B NCC-9012-B
Writer ID: A239410TR0