JP Cdre. Jalana Rajel & MSNPC LtCmdr Kiamon Tagus- You give love and bad name

[Dizmim ChNilmani]

((Paoike Colony, Drever IV))

Jalana had basically fled the scene. On one hand she tried to keep a distance on Diz’mim, still not over the fact that the guy she had been flirting with and spent all night talking with on Arentis was now her First Officer. She did not want to give him the wrong impression and distance was the best thing she could do. On the other hand she did not want to cross paths with Tagus. Hearing that name after all this time had shocked her to the core.

She checked on her Tricorder and the rudimentary outline her scanner had made to figure out which way to go to get to these ruins. She should just go around this building, through this field and then straight until-

Kiamon took a few steps, eyes down trying to avoid the puddles while he balanced his PADDs in his arms. He didn’t even register that there was another person there until he quite literally collided with them, PADDs flying everywhere. Bending down, he was startled by a memory…

But it wasn’t his memory. Not really, anyway. Same as in this moment it wasn’t exactly Jalana’s memory, but in a way, it still was…

(( FLASHBACK ))

(( Trill - A bookstore ))

The room was dimly lit. At least it appeared that way, as the ceiling high shelves packed with books blocked out the sun, so the visitors relied on the light coming from the ceiling. It gave them enough to see the titles, to read a few pages, but one would not want to linger and read. It was the kind of atmosphere that invited to browse and buy, but one wanted to read in a better spot. Perfect for a bookstore.

That new book smell hung in the air. Paperbound hardcover, soft cover, printing ink. Paradise for bibliophiles. Fascinating that it was the same on many planets. Books had an universal smell as if different species had discovered the same secret formula to what made books smell like magic.

Pinar hummed to herself as she walked through the bookstore. Her dirty blonde hair was messily plopped on the top of her head in a large bun with strands hanging out that inadvertently framed her face. Her long fingers trailed along the shelves and occasionally moving up to the spines of the books, appreciating the beauty and history as she felt the various textures on her fingertips. Her blue-gray eyes focused on the titles, not sure yet which book she was looking for, but knowing that she would be certain the moment she saw it.

A few aisles down a young Olen moved along the shelf with purpose. A few books already on his arms his finger moved along the spines in front of him to focus on the titles, following the finger helped him to not let his eyes stray. He could swear that he heard a hum somewhere, maybe it was the climate control, so he shook it off.

Pulling another book from the shelf he opened it to flick through the pages before a smile appeared on the young man’s face, exactly what he needed. Piling the book on to the pile in his arm he continued his path along the shelf. Maybe there was more on the other side. So he took a turn.

Pinar had just selected one book and had flipped it open as she rounded the end of one aisle and intended to move on to the next. She knew approximately how many steps to take before turning, but was rather taken aback- quite literally in fact- when she felt the sensation of running into something solid. Her newly discovered read fell from her hands as she herself stumbled forward, reaching out to brace herself in case she fell.

Something bumped against him, straight frontal bump, sending the books flying. He only heard it, the weight gone from his arms, because in the surprise he had closed his eyes, stumbling backwards.

Blinking a few times, more out of shock than anything else, she saw the man she must have collided with and felt her cheeks flush. She couldn’t see his eyes yet, as they appeared to be snapped shut, but he was still rather physically attractive to her even without knowing the color.

Dahn: Oh dear..

When he opened his eyes again his dark brown gaze looked down into the most beautiful blue-gray eyes looking right at him. From what he could tell just as startled as him.

Varel: E..excuse me. I… are you hurt?

Pinar looked down at herself to verify what she already knew.

Dahn: No.. ::she nearly whispered the words and spoke a little louder:: What about you?

Why was she nervous? Pinar’s heart skipped a beat even as she felt herself desperately trying to form words and sentences longer than a few words.

Varel: No, no. I’m fine.

He cleared his throat and took a step back. As he went to bend down to pick up his books, she did the same and he once more bumped into her, this time his head against hers. He rubbed his forehead.

Varel: Sorry. It’s fine. I can…

Pinar blushed harder, even as she rubbed her own head after their second collision trying to pick up their fallen books. She smiled softly at the man who was obviously as clumsy as her before moving slightly and continuing to go through the books.

As she went on to pick them up he looked at her, something formed a knot in his chest. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. And of course he had to practically beat her up like that. Exaggerations were definitely his style.

She picked up a book, thinking it was hers, but found it was not what she was expecting. She looked back at the man more curious than ever.

Dahn: Are you.. That is.. Do you write?

Varel: Uh.. yes. Yes I am. Well aspiring Author rather.

Something all these books about writing, styles, prose, and character development might be able to tell her.

Pinar’s lips quirked up, and she handed the man one of the books he had been holding.

Dahn: Aspiring? Have you published anything yet?

Varel: No, not yet but…. Well, I’m working on it.

He had been working on it for a few years, getting stuck here and there. Non-Fiction was so much more challenging, but it was what he wanted to do. Following in the footsteps of the great philosophers…

Pinar flushed more, aborting her start to collect more books to instead brush off her dusty hands and reach out.

Dahn: Pardon me. I seem to have lost my manners in the collision ::she winked playfully and extended a hand:: I am Pinar Dahn.

These cheeks being blessed with the soft tint of pink made her look even more radiant. Pinar.. The name sounded like music. Olen stared at her for a moment longer like a lovestruck teenager. Even though the teenage years were just behind him. Then he realized she had extended her hand, the wink speeding up his heartbeat. He wiped it off, making sure there was no sweat on them and took her hand to shake it.

Varel: Nice to meet me… you… I’m Varel…. Olen.. Olen Varel.

((END FLASHBACK))

Kiamon smiled to himself as he remembered the now bittersweet memory. There was a flood of conflicting emotions when it came to Olen, but before the hurt there were some good memories. Shaking his head he pulled himself back to the present and remembered the person he had nearly tackled by accident.

Tagus: Are you hurt?

Jalana snapped out of the memory at the voice. Just now realizing that the hard thing she had ran against was not in fact a wall or something like that but a person. She raised a hand rubbing her forehead, even though she had hit him with her chest.

Rajel: Yeah… I mean no, I’m fine. :: She looked around realizing her hand as empty. :: Are you hurt?

He looked at the redhead, feeling himself blush ever so slightly. She was beautiful and Trill and… Starfleet?

Tagus: No, I’m fine thank you. I’m so sorry about that..

Rajel: No no , I’m sorry I should have looked where I’m walking.

Still looking for the PADD she saw a whole pile on the ground hers and a few others and nodded as she took half a step forward and bent down to pick them up.

Kiamon bent forward to grab the PADDs and instead hit his head against the woman again. Rubbing his head he gave her a sheepish smile.

Tagus: I guess I never learn. Sorry about that..

What were the chances? If she had a strip of Latinum for every time that happened… she had two strips, which wasn’t a lot, but it was crazy that it happened twice.

Rajel: Likewise.

She said with a little laugh and picked up the PADDs before straightening up again. She looked down on them to find her own when she saw what was displayed on them.

Rajel: Oh, are you a Scienti-

She began and her stomach sank, realisation hitting her. .oO Please don’t let him be a Trill, please please please. Oo. Looking up she looked into those blue-gray eyes that could almost be Pinar’s. And there they were. The tell-tale spots around his face, stunning her into silence. .oO Shit Oo.

Kiamon smiled and looked up from the single PADD he had managed to grab before her. His eyebrow scrunched together in confusion for a moment, though as she trailed off. Shrugging it off he used his best charming voice.

Tagus: Caught me! I’m Kiamon Tagus. ::He looked politely at her, silently asking for her introduction as well::

Rajel. .oO I know Oo. ::She simply stared at him when he introduced himself, swallowing. He was not Pinar, yet she could see her in him, how was that possible?:: I… I’m Jalana.

So this was Jalana. He had known the name sounded lovely, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t think she was as lovely as the name. He nearly laughed at himself, realising how silly and unprofessional he was being. Besides, now finally he could get somewhere with the help that he had asked for. Jalana was the Commanding Officer. But Jalana what, exactly?

Tagus: Such a pleasure! I, uh.. ::he chuckled slightly:: I have to admit I never did catch your surname on the report.

She had to tell him. He had to know. It wasn’t fair that she did and he was in the dark. Pressing the PADDs against herself like a shield of protection she took a deep breath.

Rajel: Jalana … ::She repeated, pausing before taking a deep breath and adding.:: … Rajel.

As a scientist, Kiamon knew that physically time had not truly stopped or slowed, but relatively speaking it had. He felt like he had been sucker punched in his gut as all the air in his lungs escaped and he dropped the PADD in his hand. Rajel. She had said Rajel. His heart pounded against his chest as if trying to escape and Kiamon took a stumbling step backwards, away from the Trill before him.

Tagus: Rajel..

It was barely a whisper and if Kiamon had cared he wouldn’t have been certain that the woman could hear him. Instead, he shook his head and blinked back the tears forming in his eyes. Blue eyes that may as well have been Pinar’s with the amount of tears they held. He couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe?

She heard it. All the charm, the smiles, all of it gone. The whisper pregnant with disbelief, with shock and painful memories. She couldn’t blame him, not one bit, not at all. It was all on her. No, on Olen. It was his fault. She remembered it and the memory squeezed around her chest like an iron fist. She had been in its grip from the moment Bolen had mentioned his name. Of all the worlds, of all the galaxy, why did he have to be here? It had been so much better to run from the past.

Kiamon wasn’t a doctor, but he was certain he must be dying. He- or rather Tagus- had experienced death many times over. This must be it. The end. But with an anger that was most definitely not typical of him, rather channelled from Pinar herself he set his jaw and glared at Olen. No, not Olen, Rajel…

Tagus: You!

His voice was gritty and filled with hatred. With hurt. With a pain nobody should ever feel or know.

She couldn’t help it, the tone of this single word made her wince. She should have known it would come. Of course he would hate her. No… she would hate him. Pinar would hate Olen for this. Rightfully. But these memories were part of them, it was near impossible to keep them distant.

Rajel: ::whispering:: I…

Tagus: How could you?!

Rajel: ::quietly:: Pinar…

Tagus: Kiamon.

It was short, but as much a reminder for himself as it was for her. She wasn’t Olen. He wasn’t Pinar.

She cursed inwardly. She knew that. He was not her, even if he carried her memories, her life with him.

Rajel: Right.. Sorry. Kiamon. ::She sighed.:: I…

What was she supposed to say. Sorry that I tore myself out of your life? Sorry that I made your world crumble into pieces? How would one apologize for that?

Kiamon cringed. She was clearly struggling and he wanted to care. He also wanted to switch off these memories and get on a shuttle and put as much distance between them as possible. He had always known it was a possibility this could happen, but after so long there was a hope that this would be avoided indefinitely.

Tagus: You.. ::no, not her, he reminded himself:: He.. He left.. Them.

It was a struggle to put that separation, but he tried. He felt the pain as if it was his own. The heartbreak hurting as if it had just happened all over again. Even the way he said it was all in a kindness to her. Pinar’s words wanting to slip out. oO Coward. How could you, Olen? Oo

Every cell in Jalana’s being wanted to tell Kiamon how sorry she was. How much she regretted something that she had not done. The memory was deep ingrained into her. Olen was after all the symbiont’s first host.

Rajel: I’m sorry.

It was merely a whisper. It didn’t even come close to how sorry she was. There were no words to express it properly. The heartache, the pain, the grief. Everything that Olen had caused, the way he had hurt his wife and their daughter. Without an explanation.

Kiamon took a deep breath and began pacing, completely forgetting about the crops and the PADDs and the mission. Lifetimes and lifetimes filled with the lingering grief of losing Olen. And for what? How many people were offered an opportunity like this? And yet, he didn’t know that he wanted to hear it. What could Rajel possibly say that would make this okay?

Tagus: He had a family and he just… ::his fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly::

Jalana closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Rajel: I know.

He stopped pacing and looked up at her, even though it pained him to do so. The woman he had found so enrapturing now gave him flashes to painful memories.

Tagus: I just.. ::he huffed, wishing he could be more eloquent:: I want answers. I need answers.

Rajel: No. I don’t blame you. I… I cannot explain it right now. I.. ::she hesitated.:: I will try. But not now.

Kiamon’s eyes flashed in frustration and he faced her fully head on.

Tagus: Why not now?

Rajel: We have the colony to worry about first. ::She said gently looking up to him.:: As much as I want to explain, it… there is a lot to unwrap and ::with a sigh she added, as gently as she could.:: … it won’t bring those lost years back. But we can help the people here to not lose their years… yes?

Kiamon shook his head, battling his anger again. Of course he.. No she wouldn’t want to talk about it. Olen never wanted to talk about things. Stubborn until the end- clearly a trait that Jalana shared.

Tagus: And perhaps you’ll conveniently just beam back on your ship and leave before we get that chance to talk? ::the accusation was clear in his tone::

She couldn’t blame him for thinking that. It would be easy to finish the work here and run again, never to be seen again. But she knew it would just be a matter of time until she’d have to face it again. She had to give him answers.

Rajel: No. I promise I am not trying to push it under the rug. You will get answers.

He still wasn’t sure he believed her, but the moment he took to breathe reminded him that they were standing out in the open where anyone could hear and that wasn’t particularly appealing either. And stars, she was right. As much as he hated to admit it, the mission was more important than this right now. Curse his Starfleet training guilt tripping him.

Tagus: ::muttering:: Fine..

Jalana hoped that he agreed, but she didn’t understand what he muttered. So under his breath.

Rajel: Sorry, what?

Kiamon cleared his throat and reluctantly spoke louder.

Tagus: I said fine. But I promise you this, if you try to leave without talking about this I will seek you out. I’m not Pinar.. I am far more persistent.

Her gaze rested on him. Pinar had been gentle but when she wanted something she dug until she got there. It was how she had managed to deal with Olen all these years, especially when he lost himself in his writing. She was the one to be able to get him out of that world into reality again. But she had no doubt that they had a different kind of persistence. She could already see it in the brief interaction.

Rajel: Wouldn’t expect it any different.

Kiamon reached his hand out for his PADDs with a sigh, his other hand running through his hair leaving him looking dishevelled.

Tagus: So… were you off to somewhere in that hurry or…?

It was an olive branch. A peace offering. A signal that he would do his best to play nice right now, even though every fiber of his being was screaming at him to yell at her.

Seeing the hand outreached Jalana had the urge for a moment to take it. She already loosened the grip on the PADDs to reach out but then realized he would want his PADDs back and changed the direction of her hand as if that was always planned this way and made sure not to give him hers. Holding out his PADDs she nodded.

Rajel: Yes. Ad… Sir Bolen mentioned ruins outside the settlement from the old power plant and such. I wanted to have a look at it. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about them, do you?

JP by

Commodore Jalana Rajel
Commanding Officer
USS Constitution B
Image Team Co-Facilitator
A238906JL0

&

MSNPC LtCmdr. Kiamon Tagus
Botany/Ecology Specialist
On Special Assignment

As played by:

--------------------
LtJG Dr. Eleanor "Ellie" Park

Medical Officer

USS Constitution-B

Writer pronouns: She/Her or They/Them

Character pronouns: She/Her

A238908T10