[Backsim] Crewman Annamae Barberra - Breakfast, Negotiations, Snoring and Antimatter

[Rebecca Iko]

Did I reread this like five times and then wait all day before getting to my computer to put this on the appreciations thread? Perhaps.

I was looking forward to Annamae's reaction to the end of my sim and at the very, very least I am not disappointed in the sheer chaos she has once again brought to the stage. Cue the adventure's of the Kitty Hawk's Science Crewman and her reaction to the aftermath of her girlfriend's adventures:

 

((Terminal A - New Year’s Day 2401 - 06:31 hours))

 

Annamae, still awake from the muted and polite New Year’s celebrations on board Ten Forward on the USS Kitty Hawk, ambled along Terminal A. Some people, both Starfleet and civilian, were just starting their shift in the terminal. Some people were waiting for a QSD ship that was arriving that morning.

 

The crewman wore her replicated novelty Halloween headband with pride. Was it appropriate to wear them for New Year’s Eve? Absolutely not. But that was the point.

 

oO Contrarian for the sake of being contrarian? Tick. Oo

 

As she made her way up the stairs towards the train station platform, she felt her stomach rumble. It was time for breakfast.

 

 

((Table 6, Brew Continuum - 06:49 hours))

 

Barberra: I’ll have a... wait-

 

Touching her nose, Annamae was still deciding between several options for breakfast. The Andorian waiter was becoming impatient.

 

Waiter: Ma’am, I have three tables of New Year’s revellers waiting, maybe I can take their order first.

 

Annamae looked up to observe one of the tables. They were wearing beach gear, and laughing. One of them was slapping their hand on the table.

 

Barberra: No, it’s okay... they’ll look like they’ll take a while anyway. I’m doing you a favour.

 

Waiter: ::Sarcastically:: Oh, yes. The morning of Terran New Year is turning out to be a *great* shift to have chosen. Just tell me what you want.

 

Barberra: Okay! Geez! The nachos.

 

Waiter: Nachos. For breakfast.

 

Barberra: What. I love guacamole. In fact, scratch that – I just want a bowl of guacamole.

 

Waiter: We don’t *offer* just a bowl of guacamole.

 

Barberra: Why not? ::Shrug:: I’m a customer, right? ::Pointing at menu:: It says right here. “Extra Guacamole.” I’ll just have that.

 

Waiter: No, that’s extra Guacamole *with* an order of nachos. You can’t order extra guacamole by itself.

 

Barberra: Oh. Okay then.

 

Waiter: ::Relieved Sigh: Okay.

 

Barberra: ::Looking at menuPADD:: I’ll order the nachos with two extra serves of guacamole.

 

Waiter: ::Tapping on order PADD:: Got it.

 

Barberra: Without the nachos.

 

The waiter’s antennae twirled as she once again regarded Annamae with slight contempt.

 

Waiter: You have to have the nachos.

 

Barberra: Just hold them.

 

Waiter: No, I just said-

 

Barberra: ::Deadpan:: Just don’t bring them out. How hard can it be.

 

After an exasperated sigh, the waiter gave Annamae a congenial smile.

 

Waiter: What a waste of credits. Happy Terran new year.

 

She grabbed the menuPADD from Annamae’s hands, then turned back towards the counter area.

 

Barberra: And put that on the Starfleet attaché account!

 

Annamae didn’t know if that would still work, given her Starfleet liaison to the FDC role was long suspended while she was temporarily stationed on the Kitty Hawk...

 

 

((Bench, Merchant District – 09:35 hours))

 

The problem with working different shifts on the Kitty Hawk was that Annamae’s body couldn’t work out whether she was wired or tired. The time would come when she would crash in a heap, having worked half of Gamma shift, and then joined the countdown to midnight in Ten Forward.

 

The artificial sunlight in the Habitat Ring made that adjustment even harder. It felt nice, and warm, and made the caramel chilli milkshake she was sipping even tastier for some reason.

 

Annamae knew that Bec was in her apartment, the ship’s computer had told her so. She also knew that her girlfriend was probably recovering from a large night, having been told about their New Year’s celebrations in the Sub-tropical biome. Eventually she would let herself into Bec’s apartment to sleep when her body told her she was officially ready, then look forward to doing something with her likely hungover girlfriend that afternoon.

 

But before then, there was someone she wanted to say “hello” to...

 

And finally she saw the person walking toward the shop they owned.

 

Annamae stood up from the bench, and made her way towards them.

 

Barberra: You’re 5 minutes late.

 

The Ferengi woman, owner of the “Backspace” fortune teller shop, slowly turned to face Annamae.

 

Ninzo: ::demanding:: Who are you to tell me I’m late!

 

Barberra: I’m your tenant, antique Terran satellite dish ears!

 

Ninzo: ::Lifting finger:: You’re not, you sublet that room child, now I have to put up with C’lem Phan’ta’go continually asking if I can hear him! ::Pointing at ears:: Doesn’t he not know I’m Ferengi?

 

The woman walked to the door of her shop, waving her hand over a scanner to open it. The door slid open with a “hiss”, allowing the pair to walk inside.

 

 

((Inside, Backspace Fortune Teller))

 

Barberra: I’ve come to renegotiate the rental amount. My profit from his subletting is not satisfactory.

 

Ninzo: I’m not changing the rental amount. WE HAD AN AGREEMENT, CHILD! WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT HEADBAND!

 

Barberra: I’M NOT YOUR CHILD, YOU OLD PSEUDO SCIENCE CON ARTIST, I’M YOUR TENANT!

 

Ninzo: NOT AT THE MOMENT YOU’RE NOT, YOU’RE ON THAT USS CATTY BIRD OR WHATEVER IT’S CALLED!

 

Barberra: I’M STILL TECHNICALLY - ::normal tone:: ooh, I like “Catty Bird” - ::resuming argument:: I’M STILL TECHNICALLY YOUR TENANT BUT I’M SUBLETTING TO CREWMAN PHAN’TA’GO SO IT’S STILL VALID FOR ME TO ASK FOR A REDUCTION IN THE RENT!

 

Annamae took a long sip from her milkshake, while eyeing her landlord.

 

Ninzo: ARE YOU TRYING TO INTIMIDATE ME?! RULE OF ACQUISITION SIXTEEN. “A DEAL IS A DEAL!” WHEN YOU COME BACK FROM YOUR HIGH AND MIGHTY EXPLORATION OF THE DELTA QUADRANT TO COME AND LIVE HERE AGAIN, WE CAN RENEGOTIATE. UNTIL THEN, LET ME READ YOUR PALM!

 

The elder Ferengi woman reached out to grab Annamae’s hand, but the crewman smacked it away.

 

Barberra: NO! RULE OF ACQUISITION SEVENTY-FIVE. “HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS, BUT THE STARS ARE MADE OF LATINUM”. REDUCE MY RENT YOU OLD RUSTY BAT’LETH!

 

Ninzo: RULE OF ACQUISITION TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN. “YOU CAN’T FREE A FISH FROM WATER!”

 

Annamae furrowed her brow for a moment, before continuing the shouting match that they both loved and missed.

 

Barberra: HOW DOES THAT RULE EVEN APPLY TO THESE NEGOTIATIONS?!

 

Ninzo: WHO SAID WE WERE NEGOTIATING!

 

Suddenly a voice came over speakers in the shop, quietly echoed by the source of the comms from the rented room that was a level above.

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Hello, this is C’lem Phan’ta’go, can you hear me? You’re both talking at a level of around 10, the feeling here is that you need to bring it down to a 6, yeah? =/\=

 

The two women looked towards the staircase.

 

Ninzo/Barberra: ::simultaneously:: SHUT UP, PHAN’TA’GO!

 

 

((Iko Apartment, Marrakech District – 10:28 hours))

 

It had finally happened. Annamae could hardly keep her eyes open. She sat on the edge of Bec’s bed, tiredly taking off her Starfleet issue boots.

 

While listening to Bec snoring. Very loudly.

 

Barberra: Bec?

 

No answer. No movement. At all. With a tired sigh, the crewman took off her combadge and threw it into her left boot, before laying down on the bed next to Bec...

 

She listened to her girlfriend snore, as she fell asleep, on top of the sheets - still in her blue Science uniform.

 

 

((Annamae’s dreamscape))

 

Clowns. Clowns everywhere.

 

She was surrounded by them.  The carnival, the very same carnival that she, Kivik and tr'Khev had experienced when encountering the space borne goo that had traces of 8472 DNA, was on fire. People were screaming and running away.

 

But the clowns, with their red eyes and ocular implants, who were slowly stepping towards her, all spoke in unison.

 

Clowns: We are the clowns. We will add observations about your biological and technological distinctiveness to our long list of bad jokes, which will service us at kid’s parties. You will be humiliated.

 

Barberra: Woah, creepy. I know I should be scared? But... this is kinda awesome.

 

Suddenly, one of the clowns groaned, very loudly... right as the ground seemed to shift underneath her-

 

 

((16:23 — Iko Apartment, Marrakech district, Habitat Ring))

 

The crewman sat *bolt upright* in bed, sweating slightly from her vivid nightmare.

 

Barberra: ::Quiet, awed tone:: Awesome...

 

Slightly disappointed that the dream wasn’t real, she turned to see Bec Iko curling herself up in the sheets of the bed.

 

Barberra: You’re hungover. 

 

Bec seemed to curl up under the covers even more.

 

Iko: No I'm not.

 

Annamae sniffed the air above Bec,

 

Barberra: Oh yeah, you smell like you just drunk a keg of bloodwine. Definitely hungover.

 

Iko: I'm not!

 

Bec’s slid her leg out from under the sheets, to playfully kick Annamae. That was when Annamae noticed new ink on Bec’s ankle, her skin red underneath.

 

Barberra: Woah. Cool. What is that? “One cup self-raising flour, 2 tablespoons cocoa powder, one tablespoon... ::screwing up nose:: antimatter waste?”

 

Iko: Huh? 

 

Bec’s head came out from somewhere under the covers, to look at her own leg. There was a pause from Bec for a moment as she observed the new tattoo.

 

Realising that Bec seemed to be surprised by it, Annamae let a wicked grin appear on her face.

 

Iko: #$%@.

 

And like a turtle, Bec withdrew under the sheets again.  Annamae preened her hair while she spoke.

 

Barberra: You used my cake recipe?!

 

Annamae *jumped* on top of Bec, wrapping her arms around... whatever body parts were under the sheets and blankets.

 

Barberra: Well now we can both be ready for a first contact!

 

 

((Flashback – “The Tusk” tattoo shop – Merchant District, Amity Outpost, Stardate 239908.01))

 

Annamae showed off her brand-new tattoo on her ankle.

 

Barberra: It’s a pancake recipe. You never know when you might need it.

Iovianus: I see…

 

Iko: ::to Iovanius:: Agreed.
 

The doubt in the security officers was obvious. She moved to justify her new ink.

Barberra: Okay, but consider this. Let’s say, it’s a first contact situation. And you give them access to the Starfleet cultural database. But that doesn’t satisfy them, the new species want more. I just look down on my leg, whip up some pancakes, and ::clicking fingers:: bingo, new Federation member candidate.

Iko: Orrr you could just remember the pancake recipe...
 

((End Flashback))

 

Barberra: ::Delighted tone:: Orrr, you could just remember *my* cake recipe? Ah ha, see I was right! Where are you under there?!

 

It didn’t matter where she was, Annamae decided to playfully pin her half-Klingon girlfriend down on the bed for as long as she could!

 

 

[End scene for Annamae]

 

 

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Crewman Second Class Annamae Barberra
Science Specialist
USS Kitty Hawk
V239511WU0