Ensign Bryce Tagren-Quinn - Of Realities

[Doz Finch]

The tension, the yearning, the stifling of emotions. A brilliant sim from @Bryce Tagren-Quinn in what has been a fascinating story to read during this shore leave. Also kudos to @Tahna Meru too! I'm hanging on by a thread in every sim. 👏

Ensign Bryce Tagren-Quinn - Of Realities (google.com)

Quote

 

((Nature Preserve, Hedrikspool Province, Bajor))

 

They started to walk again, quiet lingering between them, the hybrid absorbed in thought. Before long, the tell-tale sign, the sounds of water, reached their ears. 

 

Then… 

 

Tagren-Quinn: Not to, uh, dwell on Skarbek land—::He didn’t want to cause her any more pain.::—for all that it was, like I said before, I think I was happiest in Peshkova because of… because of you. 

 

A pause. Sweat gathered under his cap, and damp hair clung slightly against his neck. The hybrid’s focus remained on the PADD in his hands, unable to meet her gaze, looking a little wrecked. Heart beating wildly. 

 

Tagren-Quinn: I think… I remember you teaching me to curse in Bajoran. ::A light laugh.:: The jokes, the laughter, singing around the fire. I really don’t remember much, it’s true, and maybe that’s for the best, but I do… I do remember that. You mean a lot to me here, and you meant a lot to me there, too. 

 

Tahna: Bry…

 

Her voice cracked slightly, and, gods, he couldn’t even look over at her.

 

Tahna: I can still teach you to curse in Bajoran, if you like. It’s become something of an essential skill on the Gorkon. 

 

He nodded distractedly, expression still painted with pain, as the trail led them around a cluster of dark green, large-leaved plants. The impressive tall twin waterfalls then came into view, framed at first by a window of lush green growth before giving way to a clearing. 

 

Cascading, sparkling. Just… 

 

Tagren-Quinn: Oh… wow. 

 

Tahna: Yeah, that’s– wow. 

 

And it truly was breathtaking.

 

Tahna: Didn’t the guide list this as one of Bajor’s natural wonders, or something?

 

Tagren-Quinn: It did. 

 

Though, at the moment, the name escaped him. It was undoubtedly listed on the PADD, but he couldn’t think clearly to check. Swept away and guided by all the moments that led to here, by the view, and by the pull Meru had over him, they made their way closer to the falls. 

 

Her voice broke the brief silence that had fallen between them. 

 

Tahna: I remember…so much of Skarbek. 

 

Glancing over at her, Bry instantly regretted bringing up the topic. How she stared out at the water, torment within those lovely brown eyes— What had he done? On Palanon, at New Year’s, something similar lingered under the surface when she gazed at the stars, only now it was there because of him. He had caused that. 

 

Tahna: Most of it I’d forget if I could. But not you, never you. 

 

With her focus still fixed on the water, a soft smile and a flush of her cheeks emerged. He just stared at her, plagued and torn and heart reaching, unblinking. Unmoving. 

 

Tahna: Even in the darkest reality my mind could conjure up, you were my lifeline, and I–

 

Meru then closed her eyes, drew a shaky breath, and shoved her hands into her pockets. Clearly pained. Riding through difficult memories.

 

And, even as he felt guilty, every fiber of his being screamed, urging him to step in closer, to cup the side of her face like he had wanted to do in Peshkova and press his lips softly, tenderly against her hairline. To offer comfort, contact. To help chase away her worries, her pain, as the butterfly’s wings had done earlier. To tell her that she had been his lifeline there, too. 

 

And… a lifeline here.

 

But was that all? No, but… where did he end, and where did Croaker begin? Were they even separate or… 

 

Confused, helpless, sorting the pieces.

 

Tagren-Quinn: I—

 

The word croaked out, raw. He blinked and pressed his lips together into a thin line, eyes fluttering, and looked away, standing straighter, taller, shoulders tense, trying to catch something else to focus on. Not on Croaker worrying over her in Witheringon. Not of Lark, who was one of the first to have accepted him into the cell. And… 

 

Focus. Breathe. The world, the tangible world around them—the waterfalls and their mist, the people materializing from another path off in the distance on the other side—but not really seeing any of it. 

 

Tagren-Quinn: —even there, we were looking out for each other, too. 

 

Tahna: I think we’re making great progress on our New Year’s resolutions. Go us. 

 

Meru laughed a little, and he turned his head to catch her looking up at him, sending him once again off-balance and only able to offer a weak, distracted, and somewhat sad smile. Yet, there were still things that cautioned him. It remained overhead, like a hazy sun emitting light even in the thickest of fogs.

 

I tend to avoid things just because they might end badly. 

 

The words that she had spoken that night resurfaced.

 

Tagren-Quinn: There’s… ::A pause.:: The waterfalls. Obvious, I know. ::A weak grin as he rolled his eyes at himself.:: But, would you… would you care to sit with me as I sketch them?

 

Tahna: Response 

 

Walking a little further into the green, they were able to find a spot to rest far enough away where they didn’t catch the mist but still provided a breathtaking view. He offered the jacket that was in his backpack for her to sit on, his side to lean into if she wanted. The birds sang in the lofty treetops beyond as Bry retrieved a notebook and pencil, scratching away at the paper, creating the scene. An indeterminate amount passed, and her presence still offered calm and peace, even as the nerves and fog persisted. 

 

The fractured light bounced from the rushing water, the mist, creating rainbows. 

 

Eventually, the hybrid tilted the drawing a bit so she could see. 

 

Tagren-Quinn: ::Voice and smile, soft, gaze hinting affection.:: I’ll add in some esani later, I think, around the edges in the foreground. Add some paint. What do you think?

 

Tahna: Response 

 

Then, a change in the breeze. The peace that had eased his features slowly morphed, making him look absolutely torn. 

 

Tagren-Quinn: Meru, listen. I, uh, I need to tell you something. 

 

Tahna: Response 

 

He shifted uncomfortably and stared at the notepad resting in his lap, wincing as his voice cracked, wavered.

 

Tagren-Quinn: Peshkova… ::a deep breath, eyes closing:: Peshkova is what I remember most, but  Skarbek also touched on some sore spots, like my dad and my trauma. ::Reimagined as Croaker’s past.:: Thinking about our resolutions… I honestly haven’t had many friendships that lasted. I’ve not had many relationships, either. And it’s my doing, my fault. In my darkest hours, I had isolated myself, as you know, pushed people away, spiraled, even sought… casual comfort. Trying to—

 

He couldn’t look at her. A hand patted at his chest, over his heart.

 

Tagren-Quinn: —I couldn’t feel anything in here, and other things were painful reminders. It was like I barely existed during those times. But… ::Pausing, lowering his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.:: Any-anyway, when you mentioned lifelines, you’ve got to know that you’ve been one for me, too. There. Here.

 

It wasn’t shared to pull at her heartstrings, to seek sympathy. It was a moment of openness and honesty. He had made great strides on his own as well as with the support of family and medical teams, the Gorkon, her.

 

Tahna: Response 

 

--

 

Ensign Bryce Tagren-Quinn, MD
Medical Officer
USS Gorkon (NCC-82293)
T238909AT0 

 

 

[Tahna Meru]

Such beautiful, heartbreaking writing. Absolutely unfair that I have to follow this. 😅