Lieutenant JG Tito: The best I can do for now.

[Alcyone Brennan]

I really love this glimpse into Tito's past , and how it makes him apathetic towards the situation he is currently in. It's a heavy read, but it really showcases the how much effort Tito's writer has put into the characters backstory. 

Proud of you, @Vitor S. Silveira❤️ 

 

Quote

OOC: all thoughts, words and actions are IC only. Trigger warning over language, violence and substance abuse.

IC:

((Starbase 118, Sickbay))

Tito followed the Ensign, and regarded her with a bit more attention than before. She was short, but attractive, and she looked like one of those “Nice Docs” that really cared about their patients. 

A negative bonus point, as it reminded him of Jo.

Pushing aside that thought he spoke, trying to do so in a soft tone.

Tito: Who is our first… oO Victim.Oo Patient?

Had she heard his thoughts? Harper suddenly stopped and paused or did something in her PADD that Tito couldn't see. Then she turned to face him. 

Harper: Lieutenant.  I understand the situation you have found yourself in is unpleasant for you, but please remember where we are.

Tito forced himself to keep the smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and his "positive" posture - none of it genuine. His glacier stare was perhaps the only thing that was completely honest, and he had the suspicion that the Ensign was on to him. 

Tito: I am fully aware of where I am, Ensign. 

The Doctor motioned down the corridor to the large Sickbay complex.

Harper: We live in a society that is technologically advanced.  We now send people home after surgeries that two hundred years ago would have kept them in the hospital for several days.  Knowing that, please keep in mind what might keep people in the hospital here in this day and age when we have such knowledge and technology at our fingertips.  

What was this? How was it called? Peep talk?

Was this a motivational speech, or the way the Ensign chose to tell him she was watching him? Where was she heading with this?

Tito: Although it is not my field I understand the need to keep patients happy. I am however puzzled as to why you are mentioning this.

Harper: Now take a moment to put yourself in their shoes.  You’re stuck in a hospital, and though you are receiving wonderful care from doctors and nurses, you are still in a hospital.  You aren’t at home with your family, you aren't in familiar surroundings.  You’re here, either because you’re sick, you’re waiting for surgery, or something along those lines, and you need frequent care from medical staff that you just can’t get at home.  You’re lonely.  You’re tired.  And while we do everything we can to make our patients comfortable, that can only be done to a certain degree.  

OK, wrong class. It was a lesson in empathy. 

Fair enough, some Doctors favored good bedside manners. Empathy with the patient, not just sympathy for the situation. Worrying about their well being, worrying about them, sometimes as if they were part of one's own family.

Tito: I see, so my first lesson is about empathy. Duly noted Ensign. Anything else?

Harper: The thing is, you think you have people fooled.  But you don’t.  And patients…well, most of them aren’t empaths, but they aren’t dumb.  They can see who wants to be there and who doesn’t.  All they want from you is someone to talk to, to feel somewhat normal even in the midst of all the machinery that surrounds them.  They’re grateful for the little comforts they get, and wish for the bigger comforts of home that are out of reach, even if it’s only temporary. That’s what you’re walking into Lieutenant Tito.  People’s whose lives have been disrupted and they could use all the smiles and kindness they can get to lift their spirits.  

Tito kept his smile. So she really was on to him. And she really was one of the “Nice Doctors”. 

Tito found himself finding her…  was it innocent? Naive?
 Yes, naive was perhaps the best word.

He towered over her as he took a step closer. His voice was calm but colder than Andoria’s snowy nights, while his eyes brightened with a fire as hot as the deserts of Vulcan.

Tito: Point taken. I have warned you I am not good at this. And I understand your lecture, I will endeavor to be more honest. Can I ask you something?

Harper: response

Tito: I’ll be able to explain where I am coming from, should I share it with you?

Harper: response

Tito straightened, hands holding the medical tricorder crossed in front of him, shoulders slightly forward, as if he was ready to spread his arms like wings. 

He still wore a smile, not a fake one, not a happy one, a simple smile.

Tito: I have spent time with people whose lives have been disturbed. ::he raised his hand slowly pointing to their surroundings.:: And it wasn’t in a place like this, because not everyone lives as part of society. Be it technologically advanced or not.
Well, part of it is, in Silver Palaces like this one, but down the gutter… ::He shook his head.::
Down there smiles and kindness don’t lift spirits. Other things, more hazardous ones, do. And I have seen those spirits, I was one of them. So thin there’s barely any skin in their bones. So sick they could barely breathe. Eyes glazed in a lifeless stare only looking for the next fix.

Tito looked at the Ensign. How many of those he had seen were her age? Some, but they usually didn’t last, but he recalled one girl he came across twice. He wasn’t sure of the time between encounters.

Tito: There was a young girl, probably about your age. We had the same dealer, and that’s where I first saw her. Totally hooked on what he sold, but still able to fool everyone. She could pass as a Starfleet Officer. Maybe she was. Sometime later we crossed paths again. I was already in bad shape, but she looked far worse. A wreck of a figure. Barely standing. You have no idea what she offered to do, just to get a few credits. ::Tito shook his head.:: She was disgusting looking. Dirty, sick, she smelled like a dead man. 

Tito cleared his trough, curious how recalling it now was affecting him. 

Tito: She collapsed. We weren't in a friendly or even civilized neighborhood, and although it was a Federation world there were no Doctors around. I tried to comfort her, told her to just go to sleep.  She nodded, smiled at me and closed her eyes, falling asleep only seconds after. She must have been so tired, and finally felt safe enough to sleep. You know what I did after? 

Harper: response

Tito stood straight. Cold, motionless like a marble statue. But still he smiled. 

Tito: Once she closed her eyes, I took everything she had on her except her clothes. Then I went to see my dealer.

He took a deep breath and looked deeply into the Ensign’s eyes.

Tito: This isn’t a you lecture me, I lecture you thing. Why am I this way? Am I bitter over how unfair things can be? Perhaps. I can deal with that.  But truthfully, don’t ask me to get instantly emphatic, please. Don’t expect that. Let me leave it out of my head, llike kindness, respect and…

For a second he almost said love. He frowned, turning serious and losing his smile.

Tito: Look, my smile and attitude might not be honest, but they are the best effort I can give right now. Back then, I followed a self destructive path. As I went along I lost everything… No, I had already lost everything before that. Afterwards it was just as if I was emptying myself of the last remains of humanity. ::He shrugged.:: That's how I became what I am.
 
Harper: response



TAG/TBC

Lt. J. G. Vitor R.S.Tito
Intelligence Officer
Starbase 118
O238907VS0

 

[Sal Taybrim]

Very well written @Vitor S. Silveira!  Great sim!