Lieutenant Commander Anath G'Renn: Neither Klingon nor Vulcan

[Lael Rosek-Skyfire]

((Sickbay Complex - Deck 5, USS Atlantis))

((Time Index: First day of shore leave, 0700 Hours Ship’s Time.))

 

Being limited to touch telepathy meant that she couldn’t be sure what Journs had been thinking when their Antosian chief nurse had casually brought up her romantic feelings towards Commander Raga. However, based on facial expressions she had guessed that it was somewhere between “I’d rather discuss anything else” and “I’m about to jump into the nearest escape pod and go far away from here”. Either way, she was worried about making her fellow medical officer uncomfortable.

 

G’Renn: I do apologize if Lieutenant Avae discussing it in front of me made you uncomfortable.

 

Journs: ::pauses:: I tend to be fairly private about my intimate partners, but I’m not ashamed of it. We were just being careful about how many people knew until we could prove that our personal relationship wouldn’t interfere with our working relationship.

 

The Columbia sickbay had been very light on gossip. Which made plenty of sense. Captain’s yeoman Rolla Haneer didn’t work in sickbay. Despite the ship gossip’s absence, there were still whispers of the latest events and relationships aboard the ship. For the most part, Anath had always tried to ignore them.

 

G’Renn: I try to not get involved in anybody’s social life if they don’t want me to. You can keep as much or as little as your personal life out of sickbay gossip as you wish. So long as it doesn’t impact sickbay operations.

 

Journs: ::nods:: I understand, ma’am. It was part of why Toryn and I have been making such an effort to keep our intimate life so discreet. We want to be judged by our professional attitudes rather than our personal ones. ::smiles wanly:: He and I have that in common it seems.

 

G’Renn: ::She finished updating Journs’ chart.:: There’s only one thing I’ll say on the matter, and I’m sure you can guess what it is.

 

It wasn’t an exact rule, but it was a common recommendation of medical ethics and one that she had always lived by. Feelings, even for a half-Vulcan versed in emotional suppression, could interfere with objective analysis. It was the reason that Savok had always received any medical treatment or medication that he needed from Doctor Giles on the Columbia.

 

G’Renn: Treating our family members and our partners is almost never a good idea. It hurts objectivity and can prevent us from giving the care that needs to be given. And if you make a mistake… I’ve always left any medical care for Savok to other medical officers. I’d suggest you consider leaving any non-emergency care for Commander Raga to myself or one of the other medical officers. ::She paused and looked down at the PADD in her hands. Was she really about to ask what she was about to ask next?:: He hasn’t mentioned having a problem with me, has he?

 

It had been a small detail that she’d barely picked up on, but she had noticed it nonetheless. And it had been bothering her ever since. If there was some issue she would like to know about it and try to remedy it right away. But it was also possible that she was just reading too much into things.

 

Journs: ::pauses:: He hasn’t mentioned anything, no.

 

G’Renn: It was when I was first beamed aboard the shuttle on Tibro. The commander seemed to tense up a little. After a second it was gone, but I did pick up on it. I didn’t know if it was just the stress of the mission or if I’d done something.

 

Anath suspected that it could have something to do with her being half Klingon. To say that the Klingon side of her lineage had been unkind to the Al-Leyans would be a gross understatement. But she didn’t want to say that. Especially since she couldn’t be certain that it wasn’t something else that she had done. Just assuming all Al-Leyans had a problem with Klingons was just as wrong as someone judging her on no evidence but her forehead ridges.

 

Journs: ::smiles wanly:: I wouldn’t take it personally. There’s been a good deal of bad blood between Al-Leyans and Klingons. For some, the biases are more deeply ingrained than others. Knowing what I do about Toryn, he would never transfer that bias to you personally. It’s likely an instinctive reaction to Klingons in general.

 

So her suspicions had been more or less accurate. It was understandable, but still difficult to hear.

 

G’Renn: It’s good to know that it’s only an instinctive reaction to only half of me. I take it you do not have a similar reaction?

 

Journs: ::nods:: Given my medical background and what I’ve experienced in my life, I don’t hold the bias as much as others of my people who haven’t seen a different side to Klingons as I have. 

 

G’Renn: That’s good...

 

She’d regretted asking already. The conversation had started awkwardly enough with a discussion of Lieutenant Journs’ relationships. Then it set sail on a collision course with the nasty subject of Al-Leyan/Klingon history and the prejudices created therein.

 

Journs: I have the utmost respect for you...and not just because you’re my department head and my superior officer. You are clearly a person of strong moral character and integrity. That experience allows me to see past your physiology and into the core of who you are.

 

That comment definitely earned a look of mild confusion bordering on disgust. She was still Klingon. Being half Klingon was something that had caused a lot of pain and upset for her, but it wasn’t some physiological defect that needed to be looked past. It was part of the essence of her being. She was a vegetarian doctor, but she also loved Klingon opera, brought a d’k tahg with her family seal on every assignment in her Stafleet career, and carried the name of a Klingon colonel and her great grandmother as her last name.

 

G’Renn: I’m very glad to hear that.

 

Journs: ::nods:: That’s why I’m certain Toryn feels the same way. ::smiles:: You and he are kindred souls in a way. You both put a lot of stock in honorable actions and you both care a great deal for the well being of others. ::pauses:: Feel free, to borrow a Human expression, take it worth a grain of salt. However, as someone who has seen the deeper parts of his mind--

 

The words were left to hang in the air for a moment. Anath didn’t need to ask for any clarification.

 

G’Renn: It would be nice if there was nothing to look past in the physiology at all. I’m not just a Vulcan with unfortunate Klingon forehead ridges. ::She sighed and leaned against the wall near the biobed in frustration.:: Can’t fit in anywhere, can I?

 

Journs: Response

 

Questions of her “Klingonness” were bringing back some very upsetting memories from her past. When she was fourteen she had almost the opposite conversation with her father’s brother O’Trel. He had taken the opinion that despite looking like one she was not a real Klingon at all and that she should consider having the Klingon forehead ridges removed so as not to dishonor the rest of their species by association.

 

G’Renn: Never accepted by the Klignons in the family as a hybrid freak. Too chaotic and emotional to fit in with the Vulcans. My behavior is seen as weird when it would be accepted from a full Vulcan. ::Pause:: And all that some people see are my forehead ridges.

 

Journs: Response

 

G’Renn: If you’ll excuse me, I have other patients to check on.

 

Her voice was starting to break and she wanted to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible.

 

Journs: Response

 

Anath signed off on the record, put the PADD back next to the biobed, and walked away from the biobed. Rather than continuing her checks on the other patients she crossed sickbay, going past the other biobeds and the CMO’s office. She entered the empty morgue and took a deep breath. It was taking a concerted effort not to cry.

 

The question of her own identity had always been a sore spot for her. What was she? A Klingon, a Vulcan, both, or neither? Sometimes she felt that she was at least mostly accepted as Vulcan. Then she was reminded of how her Vulcan demeanor and pointed ears were easily unnoticed, but her Klingon side was there for everyone she met to see. Almost everyone saw her as Klingon. Except for the Klingons, of course.

 

 

Lieutenant Commander Anath G'Renn

Chief Medical Officer, USS Atlantis

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