Valdivia Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 ((USS Darwin, Deck 1, Captain’s Ready Room)) ::She didn’t know what to make of it, but she was indeed free, and could not deny it.::Reynolds: =/\= I am. =/\= ::She played it cool, thinking that was how ne wanted it to be handled. Deep inside, however, her heart longed for the expressiveness of kisses, and the tenderness of touch.::::If ne had expected her response to bring relief ne would remain disappointed. Ne felt more anxious, more tense and slightly nauseous. Ne was going to need to say some things ne really didn’t want to say. To open nir heart, be honest and make nemself vulnerable. Why? Because it mattered to nem greatly that ne try to fix this, that Poppy understand the truth. She was an absolute joy to be with and ne really craved her company but certainly didn’t deserve it. Even if they never spoke again outside a work capacity after this, ne wouldn’t feel satisfied until ne had tried to resolve this.::Renos: =/\= Good, thank you. Where do you want to meet? =/\=Reynolds: =/\= My quarters? I really could use help unpacking. I’m the worst procrastinator ever...=/\= ::It didn’t take long for the captain to arrive and as soon as ne had confirmed they were alone ne launched into nir explanation, mainly as a product of how anxious ne was about it. If ne didn’t set it out all right now then ne would overthink things and inevitably bungle that too.:: ::Renos, had not been much help unpacking. Instead, ne behaved in a way that suggested ne needed to get something off nes chest.::Renos: About the other night… uh morning. I meant what I said. I am sorry and you deserve better. I’m not good at dealing with my romantic feelings. Heck I’m not used to having them! It’s alien to me and I handle it very very poorly. I’ve only ever felt this way about one other person in my life and that went catastrophically too. Why? Because every time someone gets close I freak out and pull back. I can’t help myself. I’m afraid of letting people get close. Of being hurt. It’s not just that either - I’m wanted by the government and I can’t stand the thought of them using the ones I love to get to me. That’s why I can never be involved with anyone. ::Poppy hadn't known about nes wanted status, but it dimmed light on the fact that Renos lived an already complicated life, with a history, and disappointments all their own. She appreciated the explanation, and didn’t blame him for it, and at least now, whatever the resolution ne was admitting there were feelings to be had. There was in that idea, a sliver of hope.:: ::She smiled the grin of relief. At least, there was nothing freakish about her.:: Reynolds: Can I admit something silly and girlish? Renos: Of course you can. ::Offering a reassuring smile and opening nir body language intentionally:: Reynolds: Part of me wondered if it was because you found me unattractive...mannish in some way, and given….that I am…. Renos: Given you are what? ::Renos had a feeling ne knew what Poppy was about to say but didn’t want to assume too much, just in case she was wrong. Either way ne wanted her to say it, to put a name to that fear and express it. Then maybe it could be dispelled. She paused. She had...never in her life, uttered the next words conversationally to a friend before, to anyone other than a doctor. It was time to let it out.:: Reynolds: ...a hermaphrodite. I thought maybe you regretted touching me… ::She shrugged with a reluctance to admit personal shame, where none should have existed. For years she had accepted who and what she was. It wasn’t until very small minded men whom she had come to be romantically attracted to repelled to the idea of her, and cringed at her touch, did she wonder if she might not be a freak.:: Renos: Not at all, I’m pansexual and you are absolutely beautiful to the core.::What that meant was that gender wasn’t a limiting factor to nem. As a doctor ne had seen many reproductive systems and of course just because ne was aware of them did not mean ne found them equally appealing due to it. J’naii had evolved over time from a species with two genders to an androgynous species with one. If anything she found her own species least attractive but that was more due to social rather than physical reasons. Ne had found humans males as attractive as females, ne didn’t know why, nor did ne question or worry over it unduly. Perhaps ne was simply attracted to those who showed nem kindness since there had been so few of those individuals in nir life - at least ones ne would let get close. Whatever the reason, Poppy was one of the most attractive and enchanting individuals ne’d ever met.:: ::She smiled a grin as wonderful and luminous as the sun. Did he really like her? Physically? Then he, or at least the parts of nem that Poppy considered masculine, became complementary to her. And for the first time in her life, Poppy was glad to be desired for the physical aspects of her body, internal chemistry and all.:: ::She was really beginning to like Renos, and like a deep cool well with no visible end, she wondered where the breadth and depth of that feeling extended to.:: Reynolds: Really? Well… wow...I’ve never had anyone say that about me before...and not mean it as a joke… ::She blushed a bit at the physical attention, but allowed herself to bask in it.:: Reynolds: So what’s next for us then? Renos: Well, that’s your call. I have some free time, so if you don’t mind me tagging along, what do you want to do? ::Now there was an open ended question. When a prospective lover handed over the reigns in this way they were asking for trouble. Poppy smiled a devious and intense smile. Renos was going to get what he asked for this time!:: Reynolds: Well I was about to explore Iram of the Pillars. How about we make it an adventure for two!?Renos: That sounds good to me! Lead the way chief explorer. ::Playfully::::Renos smiled and the duo headed out the door. The captain hadn’t completely fulfilled nir objective of keeping Poppy at arms reach. Ne had made nir feelings of attraction very clear and could only hope Poppy understood why ne didn’t want to be involved in a romantic relationship. Ne craved Poppy’s company and when ne botched things up like ne did with Gordie then ne wouldn’t be able to enjoy it any more. As they headed towards the holodeck ne wondered how many liberties Poppy would have taken with this program. They were supposed to be going to a desert but anything could happen, maybe they would get sand and snow. It would be no stranger than nir last adventure with chief explorer.:: Fleet Captain Renos - Commanding Officer, USS Darwin NCC-99312-A * Executive Council & Captain's Council Member * Academy Commandant A238805EB0 And PNPC Poppy Reynolds Simmed by:- Lt. Cmdr. Nate Wilmer Mission Specialist USS Darwin-A E239107NW0
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