Doc_Milsap Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 ((Charlotte Farnsworth's New Quarters - Deck 4, Cabin 46J, USS Constitution-B)) =/\= Charlotte Farnsworth's Personal Log: Stardate: 239305.26 Having visited Doctor Foster and obtained my prescribed treatment, for the barbarism suffered by the hand of untrained Starfleet meddler's, I find my body to be healing at a most acceptable rate. I have taken the time now to settle in to my new quarters. Though it will be several days before I am medical fit to return to duty as the schools literature teacher, I find that I am actually hating the down time. I have never managed void activity well. With little or nothing to do, I often have found myself getting into trouble. I must make an effort to see that this does not resume. No doubt, Starfleet would find any excuse it could to quarantine me again, and criminal activity would help facilitate that. I will never endanger my personal freedom again... End log. =/\= ::Charlotte stood naked in her quarters, gazing out the one star port, her single sized occupancy quarters allowed her. It was better, however, then the stark, grey cell that Starfleet had stuck her in for several months. She had just worked out for nearly an hour, mostly pullups and pushups. Nearly 300 in all. Her body was firm, toned, glistening in sweat. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were running with gleaming mascara, and hatred. Her brown hair hung loosely about her, and got in her eyes. To any outward observer, she might have looked like a crazed animal, focused on her next kill.:: ::She began to focus her mind, using Vulcan meditation techniques taught to her by the chief Starfleet scientist, obviously himself Vulcan.:: oO Imagine your fear of insignificance, of dying alone and unloved, as a deafening heartbeat. Oo ::He had said.:: oO Now imagine that heartbeat becoming quieter and quieter in your mind, until only silence remains. Oo ::Every night before sleeping, she had done exactly that. She had taken years of unresolved issues, of co-dependency with Nate, of self-loathing, arrogance, misguided distrust and reckless behavior, and she destroyed within herself. She held her hands together, fingers interlocked, and picked a focal point, usually the stars, and set her gaze and attention there.:: Farnsworth: I am the living heart, the unaffected meaning of my own self worth. ::She was more focused now than she had ever been. She felt control, purpose, true peace.:: ::And then the computer began playing Ralph Vaughn Williams Pastoral Symphony No. 3. Had that been the only distraction, she might have bore it. However, in a overlapping miasma of noise, sound effects, and comm traffic, she heard other persons private logs, subspace chatter and general dreck.:: ::Her eyes shot wide open and she stared at the hidden speakers in her ceiling.:: Farnsworth: What the blood hell? ::She broke her meditative posture, her body still sweating with exercise and muscular definition. She went to the wall panel and attempted to terminate the mess. The computer did not comply.:: ::Instead of using the auditory assault as an excuse to revert to type, Charlotte focused her mind and used it as pure, meditative, mental fuel.:: ::Releasing her body, and relaxing all muscles, she dropped down, performing a sudden handstand. All her hair fell to the floor, and the blood rushed to her head. She shut her eyes, and concentrated only on her sense of purpose.:: Farnsworth: Anyone can achieve peace in the garden. Focus on sun. Feel the warmth, the light, the heat, but see none of the glare.... ::Everything else faded from her mind.:: ::Nothing was real, everything was only mental. For a moment, for the first and only real true moment in her entire life, Charlotte was dependent on nothing.:: oO Even if this moment is lost, Oo ::She thought.:: oO Then I can truly say, for one moment, I am whole. Oo ::She returned to her feet. She no longer heard the noises, though they had not gone away. She walked to her cupboard, retrieved the osteo-regenerator the doctor had given her, and began treating the effected area. Her body ached, but the sensations quickly faded to nothingness, just like her meditations of the heartbeat and sun.:: ::Her mouth crooked into a smile.:: Farnsworth: I am the unaffected meaning... ::And she believed it.:: PNPC Charlotte Farnsworth as simmed by the lovely Lt. Cmdr. Nate Wilmer HCO USS Constitution-B E239107NW0
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