round 24 JP- Lt. Skyfire & Lt. (j.g.) Moonsong: Square One

[Sedrin Belasi]

(( 1900, Counseling Office ))

:: CD took a breath and relaxed as he rang the chime. Due to the amount of stress he was under, Gabi had ensured he had at least a sandwich to go with his tea. He was relieved when she was the one to suggest they reschedule the date they had made for this evening. Now, he was wearing the standard issue Starfleet Teal, because he was the acting boss. ::

Moonsong: Come in! ::she was finishing up some notes on her padd::

:: He entered with a smile. ::

Skyfire: Things got busy. Apologies.

Moonsong: ::lifted her head to smile at him but it didn’t quite reach her eyes:: No problem. I heard it was something of a madhouse over there. ::she sets the padd down.:: If you don’t mind, I'd like to cover a couple things with you first. ::gestures toward the chair in front of her desk::

:: He nodded faintly and had a seat. He tried to relax a little, but all of the last several hours ranging from his promotion to not having performed the host transfer had him a bit on edge. ::

Skyfire: Dare I ask?

Moonsong: ::sets aside the padd she was using. She folded her hands on the desk top, her face a calm, serene mask, a faint smile touching her lips:: Yes, you may ask.

Skyfire: What sort of things were you hoping to cover before we start?

Moonsong: ::pulled up the file on her desktop device:: Nothing to be nervous about, Doctor Skyfire. We didn't get a chance to cover some of the details of your file.

Skyfire: Alright. Where did you want to start?

Moonsong: You have seen a number of counselors since you've gained the ability. I was wondering if you could tell me why you think that is? ::she knew why this was thanks to the message from Taybrim, but she wanted his side of the situation.::

:: Skyfire sighed heavily and lay back in his chair. He didn't know how to answer for a few seconds. ::

Skyfire: I've technically seen four. Ensign Riverview. Last known posting: Excalibur. Not helpful because we only had one session. Lt. Taybrim, last known posting: Columbia, which was recently launched, as I understand. He was helping me learn how to control it. Lt. Collim, though an Intelligence officer, had previously been a counselor. Her last known was also the Excalibur. Said we would work on my shields, though also only one session. :: Pause. :: If you count the informal one I had with Pritzker, which happened during breakfast about 10 minutes before I met you.

Moonsong: ::she frowned slightly:: You do have the option of continuing with Pritzker. As far as I know, he’s not due for a transfer?

:: The doc ran a hand along his face, thinking for a long moment before speaking. ::

Skyfire: I...I don’t feel that he has a good enough grasp on telepathic and empathic stuff to fully understand my situation.

Moonsong: ::she was silent a moment and then nodded:: I have a reason for asking. It is important that you feel comfortable with me. This isn't something that will only take a couple sessions to fix. This requires a long term commitment, and you will need to trust me to be here for you and to help you come to terms with your gift.

:: He nodded faintly as he took another breath. oO Curse. Oo ::

Skyfire: I understand.

Moonsong: So the question is, do you wish to proceed with me? ::she leaned forward slightly:: I feel it is important that we commit to a long term plan.

Skyfire: Yes. Lt. Taybrim hinted if I didn't get it under control that I may become a liability.

Moonsong: ::she decided to be blunt:: You could go insane from the constant barrage of information.

:: The doc raised an eyebrow. ::

Skyfire: He must've left that part out when he was talking about it. Alright. Where do we start?

Moonsong: ::rises from her desk and gestures to the two comfortable chairs to the side:: Make yourself comfortable.

:: He got up and stretched before removing his uniform jacket, underneath wearing a teal tank top that said "I work for Starfleet" in black lettering. As he sat down, he took the cup of tea from her and took a slow inhale of its aroma. ::

:: While he was getting settled, Raissa went to the replicator and ordered a cup of tea in a large earthenware mug, then she handed it to him. She couldn’t help but smile faintly at the message on his shirt. That meant a sense of humor existed somewhere in the man.::

Moonsong: ::She sat down in the chair opposite him.:: That is a blend I developed. It's to help you relax. ::she settled with her own cup:: Let me know what do you think of the taste.

:: Chythar's body seemed to relax as he inhaled, his eyes closed as he exhaled. Then he slowly took a sip and pondered over it as he savored the flavor. Upon swallowing, he gave his reply. ::

Skyfire: Tasty. Like...kind of a darjeeling and a oolong combined. Similar to one I use.

Moonsong: I’d like you to finish drinking it. Take your time and let your body relax. ::she paused:: You can talk about anything or not speak.

:: He pondered over that for a moment. He needed to trust her, including with things that might seem insignificant. Or majorly significant. He didn’t know what the deal was with either of his moments he had today, but thought that he could use this time to make those moments clear to him. ::

Skyfire: Well, to start with...do you know why today was a madhouse?

Moonsong: I know you have injured, but I don’t know specifics.

Skyfire: Commander Tan collapsed. I...haven’t dealt with a Trill symbiont before, and had to find a new host for him in a hurry.

Moonsong: ::she looked surprised:: He didn’t look well during the last mission. I hadn’t heard that it was that serious. Will he…. they… be all right?

Skyfire:I did try to keep it quiet. Far as I know, they are fine for the moment. Both are in stasis, which is the best I can do on short notice.

Moonsong: ::frowns with real concern. If he had to find another host for Tan….:: What will happen to Alleran?

Skyfire: :: took a breath. :: Symbiotic rejection is a serious business. The host has a week, at best. Maybe longer if stasis modules are used.

Moonsong: ::she looked down at her own cup, her expression troubled:: He’s going to die, isn’t he?

Skyfire: Likely, yes. There was one case in which a host was joined to a symbiont, experienced symbiotic rejection and the original host was reunited with the symbiont that was removed. Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax.

Moonsong: Did the host survive?

Skyfire: No.

Moonsong: I… I am saddened to hear that… On the bridge… ::she shook her head.:: I’m sorry… It’s just a little hard to hear.

::Raissa struggled to push down the emotions that had risen. She didn’t know the navigator well, but after what they had shared on the bridge during the last mission, she knew she would miss him. His occasional light comments had gone a long way to help her control the fear she was feeling::

:: He nodded faintly in understanding, then took a breath. He had something else to add. ::

Skyfire: I also had a moment during this crisis in which the captain called me up to her office. To promote me to lieutenant. And the host transfer is still incomplete.

Moonsong: ::she could seriously relate. Her fingers absently reached up to touch the new pip on her collar. :: Apparently she sees something in you that helped her make that decision.

:: Skyfire nodded faintly, and bit his lip. ::

Skyfire: She also said I...have to become less arrogant and dismissive. Once that asserts itself, then my appointment to permanent CMO will be complete.

Moonsong: ::There was a telling pause:: I see…. We can work on that as well if you like.

:: He just nodded and had another sip of his tea. ::

Skyfire: Not now, though. :: and finished up the last of it, setting the cup down. ::

Moonsong: ::nods:: Now I want you to close your eyes and take some breaths. Slowly, in and out. Listen to the sound of my voice.

:: He followed her instructions and closed his eyes once more. He tried to concentrate only on her words and feel the relaxation. ::

Moonsong: ::her voice was soft and pitched to a soothing caress:: How do you feel...?

:: Skyfire's voice sounded almost distant, as though he was 20 light years from the room. ::

Skyfire: Strange...empty, almost.

Moonsong: ::she frowned slightly. It seemed odd that he shifted perception so quickly:: Just flow with it... Our minds gives us images that are symbols.... what do you see? ::she planned to use visualization therapy, but she wanted to see what images came to him first instead of just imposing something on him::

:: He tried to stay relaxed, his body tensing slightly as he attempted to interpret what was in his mind ::

Skyfire: My meditation blocks. Teacups. Lt. Taybrim.

Moonsong: ::she leaned forward to touch his hand and stopped herself. It was instinctive to touch people to help them but she was learning that it was not a good idea anymore.:: I want you to think of a place you are comfortable.

oO Don’t do it, girl. You’ve barely got control of yourself here. Focus on your patient. Oo

:: He nodded faintly, imagining his little mountaintop with the roaring waves below. There was no Ensign Skyfire to share his space, which he was grateful for.. ::

Moonsong: Tell me what it looks like...

Skyfire: Terran sunset. The sky is sort of purple, orange and blue. I'm on a jetty which has rocks of smooth stone, a beach like setting. Beneath me, the waves crash against the cliff face, a deepish sort of purple and blue.

Moonsong: ::she frowned slightly:: Do you feel safe there?

Skyfire: Yes.

Moonsong: ::she found it odd that he considered such an image safe, but she would find a way to work with it:: All right.... continue to breath... in and out.... now…. come back to me...

:: It took him several minutes to comply, as though he was nearly reluctant to leave the beach and his solitude. When his eyes opened, that is when he began to perspire with the effort. ::

Moonsong: You did really great. ::smiling:: A lot of people have trouble reaching their center the first few times.

Skyfire: It seemed harder for me to pull myself back this time.

Moonsong: You'll soon get the knack of moving in and out at will. Now I just want you to relax.

:: His eyes closed again as he attempted to comply. After a few seconds, he forced himself to relax completely. ::

Moonsong: ::she leaned back:: How are you feeling?

Skyfire: A little drained. :: He felt too weak to tense up. He didn’t like that question, and hoped it wasn’t obvious that he hated counselors that much. He still had his scorecard packed away in his bag from the Excalibur. ::

Moonsong: I hope you'll eventually learn to be honest with me. You tense up every time I ask you how you feel. ::she made a few notes on the padd:: What do you hope we can accomplish in these sessions?

:: He wasn't at all eased by her words, and tried not to let it show through. When he spoke again, he forced calm into his voice. ::

Skyfire: Develop some level of control over my abilities. oO Curse. Oo

Moonsong: What do you think of your abilities. ::pauses:: Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth.

:: His eyes opened slowly, and he tried to keep his cool. ::

Skyfire: I think it's a curse. I want to make it not a curse, and a useful tool; but until I learn how to control it, it's a curse.

Moonsong: ::she nodded understanding.:: I think we did well today. You accomplished more than I expected and that is a good sign.

Skyfire: Then...why does it feel like I'm still on square one?

Moonsong: It's important to define what square one is. It's different for different people. Knowing what it is, is the first step in moving forward and helps me figure out the best way to proceed that is tailored to your needs.

:: The words 'define square one' made him almost as uncomfortable as 'How do you feel?' Each question seemed like a trap. And he knew that both questions were not meant as traps, but given his turnover rate for counselors, they felt like a trap. ::

Skyfire: Alright...?

Moonsong: Dr. Skyfire, in order to help you, you have to trust me. Trust takes time. Eventually you'll get to the point you are comfortable enough to tell me what you are really thinking. Right now you're guarded and that is normal. That is why it we are starting slow. ::She paused and then straightened her shoulders:: You'll do fine.

:: He nodded faintly, forcing a smile onto his face in kind. He wanted to be able to trust counselors, and wanted to overcome his hatred of them. But he stayed quiet. ::

Moonsong: You should be aware that your body language tells me a great deal.

Skyfire: I'm aware.

Moonsong: I'm not offended, so don't worry about that. ::she set her padd on her lap:: Would you like to make another appointment?

:: He stood slowly and grabbed his uniform jacket, then nodded. ::

Skyfire: Yes.

Moonsong: Daily? or would you like time between? It can be exhausting as you've noticed.

Skyfire: Daily is good. Mission or no mission, I would like to get a handle on my cur-- :: pause. He was going to say 'curse.' Poor word choice. :: ...current abilities and not be driven insane by them. If that makes sense.

Moonsong: ::rose to her feet:: Of course, Doctor. I'll see you tomorrow. I'd like you to stay on the inhibitors for now. We'll start lowering the dosage as you get comfortable with the basics. ::she smiled although it seemed a touch forced::

Skyfire: Stay on them? :: he looked a bit curious. :: Then again, it’s shore leave. I can afford to be useless for a bit.

Moonsong: ::Her expression was serious:: Until you are drilled in the basics, you would be even more useless if you are comatose. Of course the choice is yours.

:: That thought frightened him. He'd been sedated before just to deal with the effects. Twice. And it wasn't a fun experience. So soon after the meld, his brain nearly exploded. And he tensed up as the unbidden thought came to him. And just once, he was hoping that he’d be able to meet a counselor who didn’t bear the same no-smiles-policy as his brother did. ::

Skyfire: I see your point.

Moonsong: Like your other senses it can be overwhelmed. I can help, but it will require work on your part and it will take time. There is no short cut.

:: He nodded grimly as he tugged the uniform shirt into position. ::

Skyfire: Understood.

Moonsong: I'll see you sometime tomorrow, then. ::smiles slightly::

Skyfire: Right. :: and headed out the door. What he craved more than anything was control over his abilities. And it was, for now, beyond his reach. ::

::Raissa sighed as he walked out. He had taken a big step, but until he learned to stop fighting his ability, his progress would be slow. She returned to her desk. It all boiled down to trust:. It was not just his ability he was fighting. He was fighting her. He may not have said anything, but his body language screamed at her. In a sense, she was the enemy. On a purely personal level it hurt a little, but there was no quick fix to that either. ::

===

Lieutenant Chythar Skyfire

Acting Chief Medical Officer

USS Garuda NCC 73809

Lieutenant JG Raissa Moonsong

Counselor

USS Garuda