Nerreht

Congrats DC! Thank you, Toni, and the same congratulations to you

Maybe it was the choice of words, but somehow I feel that it was plain ol' bashing. Other than that, I don't see what is supposed to be contructive in what has been said in my case. And it's not because of the choice of words because I recall Rhys' commentaries about my first ever entry in the challenges where he noted some details in his own personnal way never gave me any problems. But in the current situation, I was insulted because I don't see the "constructive" part of that criticism.

Well, mine is up... Quite short, but hopefully I'll have gotten the essence of the subject...

:: This was a tough one... The way he would react at that precise moment would have an influence over the course of things and he wouldn't be able to change it after it was done... Would he fire a phaser? Use some harsh language? Run away? This definitely wasn't easy... :: :: But then again, with the push of a button, everything could be changed... No reason to panic, right? Even if the outcome was not the perfect one, all of that could be changed according to what the final result was supposed to be... But then again, where was the fun in that? The ability to change every single detail was too easy of a concept to really be amusing. The fun was in the repercussions of every action, every word... :: :: This simulation was definitely good enough for one to ask himself such questions... What if one really had that control over his own life? Yeah, that's a nice concept... No more illness, no more problems, no more arguments... Everything would be perfect... But how so boring... All would be predictable and pointless since the outcome would always be what one desires... :: :: So to hell with the perfect world, let's go with the fun thing... Knocking out the Chief Engineer to save his life would definitely bring some excitement around and probably for a while too. Not quite the usual Starfleet way, but in the long run, it would make things pretty interesting. :: :: What next? Creatures that can take over people's minds when they sleep? Interesting concept, to say the least. Okay, so he was human so there was nothing he could do about it... However, he could easily be immune to them, after all it is a simulation... He could be the hero, save everybody's life... But what if he actually went paranoid, did not trust anybody around him and stayed awake until exhaustion where the creatures would gang up on him to make sure he stayed down? Yeah, that was good... He would have his fifteen seconds of glory, but someone would have to save him at some point so he wouldn't end up as being the ultimate perfect hero of the story... :: :: The great thing about that technology is that it allowed him to do pretty much anything he wanted no matter what the outcome. No real consequences meant that anything goes, the gloves were off, total freedom... Perhaps not... After all, there were people around doing the same thing he was and he had to take their presence into consideration. One's freedom stops where the others' begins... :: :: Maybe by joining someone else in their story could be interesting... Adding his own twist to see where things would go... Yeah, that would be nice... Let's see... The Chief Engineer still not happy about that punch on the nose... Hmmm... Not quite... The Chief Science Officer wants to play the mother of a child that is hers but that she never actually had... Takes a real twisted weirdo to come up with something like that as a simulation... And it was the perfect story to move into because he was not the one to lead it and he would have some difficulty predicting the outcome... :: :: It was fun to see what could come up from another person's imagination... Such details, such creativity... Just what a superiority complex would need to settle down by seeing someone else having great ideas... And the best part of it was that he actually enjoyed the CSO's simulation... Once again, the fascinating capabilities of that technology... With it, one could be anything and everything... Super powers, live a fantasy, be somebody totally different than who he was for real... :: :: Life as a Starfleet Officer definitely was great... Not only did technology allow people to do pretty much anything, it also allowed to visit so many different worlds and meet some incredible species! Well, okay, there were the bad guys too, the deaths, the pains, the political nonsense, the extreme religious beliefs, the heartless techno-freaks that only wanted to get some free upgrades... But that was what really made things interesting... If everything always went smooth and without any problems, once again, it would just be boring... :: :: But even with all that technology at hand, life had to continue... Work to do, people to see, responsibilities... Bills to pay, family to take care of... Car problems... Neighbors that keep making huge amounts of noises... :: :: The player in front of his computer screen shut everything down.... Real life always had a way to bring you back in it with a slap in the face... But it did not really matter because after all, when he wanted to get away from his life and become someone else, all he had to do is push a button, click a couple of times and let his imagination and fingers do the rest... ::

The thing is that it's been two consecutive challenges that the judges that supposedly read my entries don't seem to have actually read it. They somehow missed the point of things that were almost textually explained in what I wrote and I must say I'm not really excited about it. In this particular case, it went further than just analyzing what I wrote, it became a gratuitous dissing of my text. I'm absolutely for constructive criticism, but not being told that what I write is pointless and that I'm not as good at writing lyrics as a poet or a songwriter would be. Constructive criticism is what Rhys did for Xoet and he definitely showed he wanted to help him (if the grammar thing wasn't voluntary of course) even though he was a tad tough on his choice of words. I'm sorry to say that the comments Ventu said about what I wrote is pretty much just bashing at it.

The point was to do something different than talking about a window because it was in the subject... As for the lyrics that are not up to your standards, well excuse me for not being a poet in real life, nor a song writer. If you lose time to count every syllable or check every rhymes to see if they fit together in every song you listen too, you have a lot of time on your hands. And if you notice, I did say at the end it wasn't supposed to be a good song, that it just felt good for Ramirez to do it. It wasn't meant to prove that I'm a good song writer, which I'm not, it was just for the fun of it. But obviously, you seem the be the kind to drain the fun out of simple things...

Time had come for an opportunity to blow off some steam... Okay, the last events kept him very tired, but he still needed to change his mind a little... Having to save his skin and those of the others on too many occasions and having his mind taken over by an undetermined number of ethereal beings at the same time, his mind had been busy in every sense of the term... And to change his mind, he had to hit hard and that was precisely what he was doing. People who knew him wouldn't be surprised of what he was doing since it was in his blood to trash a lot, but then again who really knew him? After all, people so far probably expected Ramirez to be busting heads on the holodeck when he was actually hitting the drumset in front of him. The Ensign was in his quarters with a bunch of musical instruments around him. A couple of people on the Columbia knew that he could play the piano and the guitar, but these two were only a part of what Ramirez could play. It was somewhat intriguing on how such a harsh and tactless person could have such an artistic side. This one that had issues with assignments since the beginning, the one that was hectic and yet mentally stable to the surprise of many, that guy actually had a softer side. But then again, Ramirez was good at keeping his business to himself. The only transparency that he demonstrated was speaking his mind. But other than that, he didn't open up much about himself. He never really understood people that opened up so much that people could just see right through them. And that was definitely why he didn't like telepaths so much, breezing through other people's minds at any time they wanted... Well, okay, he had to recognize that some telepaths could be useful... After all, even though LtCmdr Moranta intruded his mind when he was taken over by the Ethereals, he might never had come out of it if she didn't... He didn't like the idea of her in his mind, but he was able to accept that it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and that she would never do it again... Hopefully... One thing was crystal clear: he was happy to be back on the Columbia. The ship was heavily damaged and parts of it were shattered like glass, but it was still better than the planet they were stuck on all that time... At least he had a comfortable bed to sleep in... Even more so, he could sleep, which he barely did on the planet... Of course, it was his fault for not sleeping since he didn't want to fall under the control of the ethereal beings that were using dreams to take over the minds of the people... But since they ganged up on him when he got rendered uncounscious after an electrical discharge, all that fuss about not sleeping ended up to be useless... Thinking back on a lot of things gave him some musical inspiration, the reason why he was there, playing instruments. He had already done a couple of parts and still needed to had a couple more, but in his mind, everything was ordered and he knew exactly where he was going with this. Each instrument he played had a reason other than "It sounds good". It all reflected something specific in Ramirez's mind and reflexions. Every note had a purpose, every tint in the sound was meaningful. It had been a long time since he was that inspired to compose. Even when it got time for the lyrics to be added, they all came to his mind right away. My life was a simple one Days have come and gone Went from boy to man Always did the best I can My parents taught me That things weren't always easy I soon became hardened So that my knees wouldn't bend Looking through the window I came to see People standing there just watching me I only wish they'd realize That I'm more than meets the eye All the time I entered fights Against man and beast to earn my rights Been in trouble for most of my days Until I decided to clean my ways Made some choices good and bad I even made my mother sad Went on a path to redemption That's when I chose the Federation Looking through the window I came to see People standing there just watching me I only wish they'd realize That I'm more than meets the eye I lack diplomacy and I lack tact But I'm always there to watch your back Using both my fists and my brain I go through life like a runaway train You want my opinion, you got something to ask me The only thing you'll get is honesty You want to mess with me it's your decision But I'll fight back with dedication Looking through the window I came to see People standing there just watching me I only wish they'd realize That I'm more than meets the eye Looking through the window I came to see People standing there just watching me I only wish they'd realize That after all, I'm a nice guy Okay, it wasn't going to be the next big hit, but it felt good to do it. Sometimes, it wasn't much about the result but mostly of the work that was done to get there. It took time and efforts, but even if he couldn't say everything he wanted to say, at least he had the opportunity to blow off some steam. In a way, that song was a lot like him... Not just it was talking about him, but mostly because it was a work in progress, just like he was...

I guess there's been a misunderstanding... My story (Diary of a madman) is not someone's dream. The character telling the story is Lt Wilks... I figured someone who read the story carefully would've understood the "tongue sticking out" reference... Wilks is basically telling the story of that event, thus him being the "poison apple"... Maybe I made it too complicated...

Well, if you win, you won't be able to write for the next challenge

There, I deleted it

Anybody know who the judges are this time? Can't seem to find the info anywhere

Brainwash the world? Come on... Troi's the one that's been brainwashed, you can tell by the soap bubbles floating in her head...

He's up to the task

I'm not sure about what I got... Brash, rash and hasty, but everyone loves you Chekov 80% Will Riker 80% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 70% Worf 70% Hum... That wouldn't be right, I can list a lot of people who don't like Ramirez

It was hard to determine who it was... Anybody could have been responsible... But then again, none of them had any reason to do it... After all, who wanted to be stranded on an uninhabited moon without any way to leave? Honestly? Maybe that was a bad idea to start with... To send a group of officers on a recon mission on that moon was good, but sending them only with a Runabout and no possible back-up... Someone did a lousy job preparing that mission... But the preparation itself could not have prevented what happened. Everything went as scheduled since the runabout left the station up until the landing on the moon. Every procedure had been respected, every possible scan made prior to entering the atmosphere. All systems good to go, not even a negligeable glitch to report. No trouble while navigating the atmosphere or the actual landing, everything going by the numbers. And even the routine systems check after the vehicule had touched the ground indicated that everything was fine. Everybody then got out of the runabout as it was left locked and secured and they all went on with the preliminary exploration of the surroundings. Needless to say that it had been a surprise to everyone to hear a loud noise, sickeningly resembling an explosion, after a while. When everybody gathered where the explosion had occured, they found the runabout blown to bits... Up until that point, the surprise wasn't big since the runabout was the only thing on that moon that could create such an explosion... The priority at that point, besides praying they were having some sort of collective nightmare or hallucination, was to find out what actually happened for the runabout to blow up. Thank goodness they had tricorders or their work would have been a lot longer to do... And yet, it took several days to even figure out that the spacecraft blew up from the inside out... Okay, maybe there was a technical issue that the systems check didn't notice for some reason... It could happen... Highly unlikely, but still plausible... Lieutenant-Commander Lek Merhar, a Grazerite Science Officer and appointed leader of the mission, had shown great leadership skills through the events so far, keeping everybody straight and clear-headed. Such circumstances were not easy to deal with, but so far he had done a great job. Lieutenant Robert "Bob" Wilks, manning Helm, OPS and COMM for the mission, was a main part of figuring out what had happened to the runabout. He wasn't as calm and diplomat as the team leader, but he definitely knew what he was doing. When he was concentrating, he had the tendency to stick out his tongue a little, which always made others laugh the first couple of times they noticed. The twin bolian engineers, Ensigns Loria and Lario Kelell, were the first ones to mention anything remotely paranoid... But coming from Bolians, it wasn't that surprising since they all were stressed and easily afraid of things. And being Ensigns fresh out of the Academy, they didn't really have any experience and had an ease to jump to extreme conclusions. There were a couple of others with them, but not worth mentioning... Why, you ask? Simply because they were the first ones to die under suspicious circumstances... After about a week, food was more than a luxury since pretty much everything they could eat were plants... The only one to actually not dislike it was LtCmdr Merhar since his nutritional needs were pretty much eating plants anyway. Of course, lack of food lead to drastic measures... They were not about to kill someone to eat them, that was certain, but hunger brought other things... For instance, morale kept going down as tempers were rising... Needless to say that even with everybody's best efforts, some confrontations were going to happen... But nobody expected someone to actually die... Well... Dying being such a vague term, let's say murdered... Because you see, a skull bashed into a rock or a wooden spike thrusted through the throat weren't exactly natural causes... And the circumstances of their presence on that moon being as they were, it began to be obvious that one, or a couple of them were responsible for what had happened, from the explosion of the runabout to the murders... It was hard to believe that any Starfleet officer could do such things... But Starfleet's history being what it was, it was possible... Even more so that since they had been there, they found no trace whatsoever of any living creature on that moon. Paranoïa was setting in for everybody and tensions grew even more, everybody watching everybody's every single movement, nobody ever wandering alone, or even in pairs for that matter in case one person was left with the killer. One of these situations where they wished they could have a telepath or empath to figure it all out... During the second week, only the four mentioned were left to suspect each other. Even the Grazerite was getting paranoid, which was explaining a lot about the situation since Grazerites always were a pacifist and diplomat species. And even knowing that, the others still had suspicions about their leader whose authority they didn't respect anymore. Lario Kelell was getting more and more protective of his twin sister, not restraining his outbursts when one of the other two came too close to Loria, almost coming to punches with them... Almost, since any attack on his part would give them the perfect excuse to kill him and he wouldn't be able to protect his sister if he was dead. As for Bob, well, he was trying to keep busy doing something constructive, going further and further every day to try and salvage any part of the runabout he could use to either build something that would help them on a daily basis or, hopefully, build a crude transmitter to try and get some help... Not that he expected anybody to hear their call if he was to succeed, but at least he was trying and keeping his mind focused on something... Of course, if those [...]ed bolians actually did something other than complain and panic, like helping him do something, things might have gone faster... Sometimes he just wanted to punch some sense into those bald heads of theirs... A couple of days went by and things escalated to the point of no return... Fights broke out openly using everything they could get their hands on. One would punch the other, a third would kick the first one, the fourth would throw rocks at all of them... The bruises were adding up rapidly, and yet nobody was killing anybody... Was it some sort of mental torture? Why would the killer put his/her own health in jeopardy by letting the others beat him/her up in such manner? But at that point, nobody cared... They only wanted not to be the next one to die... "What are you talking about?" :: The small man looked up straight in the eye of the person right in front of him :: "Do you want to be the next one to die? I don't..." "Why is it so important that you don't die next?" :: The man grinned :: "Because if I die next, I will not be able to tell you about the end of the story..." "That story happened ten years ago and anybody could have found the official logs of the inquiry. It's not even relevant to your investigation! You're wasting our time!" "If you don't like stories, why do you ask me to tell you what I know? Stories are all I know..." :: The second silhouette sighed :: "This is pointless... Take him away, guys..." :: Two security goons came in and grabbed the little man by the arms and escorted him out. They walked through some corridors to finally stop in front of a standard size cell where the man was left behind the force field. Without hesitation, the small man headed to his bed and took out a book and a pen from under the matress. He opened it to a blank page and grabbed the pen :: "I've got stories they don't want to hear... Too bad for them..." :: As he began to write, the tip of his tongue stuck out of his mouth, as if he was greatly concentrating on his task... ::

Phew, I was able to make it in time... Been busier than what I was expecting, so it's kind of a late entry. Sorry.

"Well... that was a good start..." The sarcasm was more than obvious as that statement was pronounced. It was obvious that things wouldn't go perfectly as nothing is perfect, but he couldn't expect things to go THAT bad. For the past couple of months, he had travelled far and wide basically non-stop to find a place to fit in. Obviously, he had not been looking in the right places since he was thrown around from one assignment to another because of many different technicalities which, in the end, made him look like the bad guy. Okay, he never was down with diplomacy and tact, somewhat arrogant on the sides and direct to the point of being blunt to the discomfort of others, but that didn't make him a bad guy. Walking on a dusty road, he looked at the background and smiled. It was funny to him as this almost barren land he called home was more civilized than he could be himself at times. He wasn't a pain in the neck on purpose, he just looked that way because he was a practitioner of "extreme honesty" and loved to express himself and disagreeing with people. A gust of wind hit him from the left side, blowing a cloud of dust in front of his eyes for a short moment, then everything going back to like it was before. Hopefully, things would go like that for him, as things got volatile for a moment and when things settle down he'd have another chance. But nevermind all that, he was coming home, the one place where he was accepted as he was, with his flaws as much as his strenghts, the unconditional love from his family that nothing he could do would break. It was comforting to realize how much life was easy around here, as he was pulling up to an entrance perpendicular to the road he was walking on. He stopped for an instant, looking at the fences running on both sides of the smaller road, leading to a bunch of buildings. It was odd how much he realized that every section of those fences actually reminded him of something of his childhood or his teen years, mostly good memories. He started walking down the road leading to the buildings, remembering different scenes as he looked in different places, smiling at each one of them as if he was there once again, doing all those things. As he got closer to the first building, he noticed an immense beast just standing there in the fenced pen... That was Big Bad John... THE bull who had almost taken his life once in a stupid bull-riding attempt... and yet the beast was still around the ranch, kind of part of the family or something... As the man passed him, the bull looked at him with an air of defiance, as if he was saying "I might be old now, but I can still take you on, kid..." with a burst of air coming out of his nostrils. A little further down was the stable where he had spent a lot of time working during the time he lived on the ranch. He could still hear his father telling him that he would benefit from learning to do everything himself, as technology was a pain in the neck because it kept breaking... Yeah, his father never was really into technology, even though he did appreciate it to some extent, usually when it involved a replicator and cigars... And behind the stable was the family's land, as far as the eye could see... well... actually he knew for a long time the boundaries of the land as he spent a lot of time in the past horseback riding around the limits just to get some visual reference to where their property was extending. Before he was even close to the next building, he heard a voice and noticed someone waving in the distance. "Holà Nino!" Yeah, it was his mother alright. She wasn't the only one who spoke spanish on the ranch, obviously since they were in Mexico, but he could easily identify her by the starfleet uniform she was wearing, probably because she had just got home from work... Made him smile to see that, as he remembered seeing that same image so many times as he was getting back from school, his mother waiting for him to get home... Times changed, but everything just stayed the same... As much as it made him smile, the smile disappeared from his face pretty fast as he was getting home for another reason than just coming back from school... He was about to tell his mother that he was coming home because he got kicked out of two ships already... That gave him a "[...]py report card" feeling, as he could only imagine how his mother would react to such news... He got to the house and climbed the couple of steps leading to the porch, his mother hugging him at the exact moment both his feet were on the porch. "You didn't tell me you were coming to visit! I would have prepared something for you!" It had always been like that with her... She always wanted to know when people came around so that she could "prepare something for them"... A very kind woman, no doubt about it... Kind to the point of actually allow some of his friends to come live at their house because they had family issues or other things like that... As much as he could try, he couldn't find a time where his mother actually said no to helping someone in need... It got him a little encouragement as he realized that he would still be welcome whatever happened to him... "Yeah, well... I have some free time right now..." Of course, as any mother would, she looked right through him and knew there was more to it... "Okay, okay... there were some... administrative issues..." "Well, you can explain everything to me after you've cleaned up, you're all dusty!" That too, he heard a lot... But it is then that he noticed how his mother always had time to listen to whatever he had to say, no matter how many things she had to do and so little time to do them... It was weird how he never got around to see that before... Maybe it was a question of age, now older he got to understand things that he didn't when he was a kid... Or perhaps he was just an inconsiderate brat who didn't care about anything but himself when he was younger... He didn't think he was, but would he admit it openly if he had been? Without further ado, he followed his mother inside the house as nothing had changed since the last time he was there... Okay, he was there just a couple of months ago, but still, not much had changed since he was a kid... Little paint here, new furniture there... But nothing major... It felt like an old pair of slippers, something you're sure to feel good in... And being at home like that sure made him feel better... He headed to the basement, as his room had been there for many years... As he was going down the stairs, he remembered the first day his room had gotten down there... He had been asking his father for years before he actually sacrificed what he refered to as his sanctuary to give the space to his son... After he installed himself and cleaned up, he headed to the kitchen from which was coming the unbeatable smell of his mother's homemade meals. But when he actually got in the kitchen, another smell got to his nose: meat roasting on the barbecue... That was going to be a great meal, even more so considering that for the past months, he had been eating ration packs most of the time. Yeah, it was definitely good to be home after all... It was as if the problems he might have had professionally vanished each passing hour, worries making place to joy, anger to happiness... It almost seemed like some sort of group therapy where everybody was feeding off the positive energy from each other. Days went by, the old routine established itself again: waking up early in the morning, working all day on the ranch until the evening, relaxing then sleep and the cycle starting all over again. But that was until THE message arrived... It was an expected message, but being back home was so comforting that the expectation just went through the airlock and got forgotten. "Hey kid! You got a message!" He turned to his father. "Yeah, go, but hurry up!" He ran to the house and sat in front of a computer terminal. The message was stating: "Ensign Ramirez, you are hereby reassigned as Science Officer on the USS Columbia. The location of the shuttle that will take you there is included in this communication. I would like to remind you that your frequent reassignment might become problematic on a very short term basis. I would strongly encourage you to make that one last." No matter what one does, reality has a way to come out of nowhere and slap you in the face. He sighed as he finished to read the message, noted the location of the shuttle and went back outside to finish helping his father. The day went by and he announced his reassignment during dinner, also saying that he was to leave the next morning. When the morning came, he grabbed his bag and got out of the house, his parents waiting for him on the porch. He gave a hug to his mother and a firm handshake to his father, while, of course, both parents had their last-minute recommandations and advice. That too he lived many times in his life, noticing how redundant some of theses advice were. But they meant well, and that was something he couldn't doubt at all. Yeah, leaving home was difficult, but then again, you have to leave it to truly appreciate it when you're there...

I got one on the way, I'm just waiting to finish it before posting it.

Patience is a virtue... It ain't easy, but it's a virtue

What they said

That explains it lol

Definitely no favoritism at all on that one lol

The fun I had before wasn't real? Darn...

Don't worry about me, you were seeing me around before I even started training lol

Hurray for us!