round 12 Lieutenant Eliaan Deron - For in that sleep of death, what dreams may

[Kali Nicholotti]

((Somewhere...))

::In the darkness of where ever he was, Eliaan felt at least relieved to be

alive. The pain, the overwhelming pain, that he had felt in the corridor

was gone but the memory of it stayed with him as if he had been granted a

temporary reprieve instead of a full pardon. As the darkness cleared a

little, it was clear that he was no longer on the Starbase. It was

familiar though, very familiar indeed.::

::The large room in which he found himself was empty of furniture but

filled with memories; he was in the drawing room of his grandparent's home

on Betazed. The pleasure and wonder of being in this place quickly melted

into a deep sadness as the real reason that he was now seeing this house,

empty as it had been after the death of his grandparents, struck him. This

wasn't how he had imagined the afterlife but it wasn't something he had

allowed himself to think about much.::

::Death, he knew, walked one pace behind everyone else but walked side by

side with a surgeon. On any given day he knew that he could witness, or

even be responsible, for the death of a patient. If he were to really

think about how close death always was, he knew it would have stopped him

being a good surgeon and so he tried his best to ignore it.::

::And so, he felt utterly unprepared to be standing here with the knowledge

that he was either dead or very close to it. What had happened to him? He

remembered the pain and being knocked down but he couldn't remember an

assailant or why he had been there. He fought hard with his memories,

trying to work out what had led him here and then suddenly it clicked.::

::Ensign Freo.::

::As he remembered the young Bajoran woman and the darkness that seemed to

surround her, the image of a small Bajoran girl appeared in front of him.

It wasn't Freo Liandra. It was another Bajoran, one who he had know what

felt like a long time ago.::

::Ollera Kon looked up at him. In a flash, he was shown a quick

successions of vignettes of the events that had lead to her death: he was

transported back to Starbase 173 where he was convincing her parent's to

agree to the procedure; to the arguments with Kaedyn over the correct

course of action; to the OR where she died on his table; to his

disciplinary hearing on Starfleet Medical. Overwhelmed by the images, he

called out for them to stop and he was immediately back in his parent's

house looking down at her.::

::She was dressed in the little surgical gown that she had worn when he had

killed her but her eyes carried a wisdom which far exceeded her young

age. He carried her with him at all times. She was the embodiment of his

regret and sadness, her broken little body on the operating table was the

image that stuck in his mind before he fell asleep.::

Ollera: Hello, Eliaan.

Deron: ::kneeling down in front of her:: What are you doing here?

::A wide grin spread across her face but she made no response to his

question. Instead, she reached up and grabbed his ear with her thumb and

forefinger. He was surprised that she was solid rather than just a mental

image.::

Ollera: Your pagh is strong, Eliaan. But I don't think it is strong

enough...

Deron: Kon.

Ollera: I'm not her; she's dead.

Deron: Am I dead?

Ollera: What do you think?

Deorn: I think that you didn't answer the question

::She peered up at him, and as she did she was suddenly the three-year old

girl who had died in front of him again. With a giggle, she responded in a

sing-song voice that sounded like the refrain from a nursery rhyme.::

Ollera: Neither I did

Deron: Why do you look like her if you aren't her?

::There was a presence beside him and as he turned to face it, the girl

vanished. At his left hand side, his old friend Guy Hunt walked towards

him with the wide-beam grin that was his trademark.::

Hunt: Would you rather I looked like this, Doc?

::As he spoke, they were no longer on Betazed. Instead, they stood in a

darkened sickbay on the USS Braveheart watching the real Hunt struggle to

take his last breaths and die. Often frustrating cavalier about his own

safety, Guy had sacrificed himself to save the life of Andrus Jaxx after

the Bajoran attacks on the station. They had been through a lot together,

not to mention the crush that Eliaan knew Guy had on him, and his death had

affected the Betazoid more than he could have imagined.::

Deron: Guy...

Hunt: You just don't get it, do you? He's dead.

Deron: Then who are you? Why do you take the forms of people who have died?

Why these people?

Hunt: I am you failure, Eliaan Deron. I speak for the people you were

incapable of saving, the reason that your miserable life is worthless. I

am your failure.

Deron: What are you talking about?

::Hunt continued to smile warmly, despite the vitriolic response that came

from him. Under normal circumstances, Eliaan would be able to dismiss this

since the thing speaking to him was so different from his friend but he

found it hard not to see it as Guy.::

Hunt: You let me die. You acted like my friend and you let me die. You

are pathetic.

Deron: I couldn't save you, Guy. I would have done anything I could to

help you but you were so badly injured.

Jilenna: And what about me? You barely tried to help me

::As quickly as he had appeared, Guy was gone. A voice called from behind

him and he spun around to see Marine Captain Jilenna Zehn. As his eyes met

hers, he was thrown back to the runabout Thames. They were laughing in the

[...]pit, the console exploded, he removed the symbiont from her dying body,

he placed the symbiont in Kaedyn's abdomen. The images stopped and the

blonde woman stood in front of him.::

Deron: The runabout had been damaged, we didn't have the power or the

facilities to perform the surgery you needed. We were able to save your

symbiont.

Jilenna: So you could give it to your boyfriend

Deron: It wasn't like that....

Jillenn: You wanted my symbiont so you let me die and now you want my son

as well.

Deron: I tried to help you.

Jilenna: You only wanted to help yourself

Deron: That's not true.

Aren: You should admit the truth, Eliaan.

::Jilenna melted into the ether and beside him, at his right hand, the

image of a tall, handsome Napean man appeared. Dr Dyami Aren, his first

love. In his dark eyes, their relationship played out from start to tragic

finish. He saw himself, a young medical student arriving on Vilar 2 and

meeting the handsome doctor, he saw them working side-by side and the day

Dyami awkwardly asked him to dinner, their hike in the hills, the day Dyami

developed hemorrhagic fever and Dr Murdoch informing him of his death.::

Deron: ::sobbing:: Please. Not him.

Aren: I was your Imzadi but you forgot me as soon as you met your Trill

Deron: I didn't. I have never stopped thinking of you, I have never

stopped missing you

Aren: Stop lying, Eliaan.

Deron: I'm not!

::Suddenly, the four of them were standing around him. The room felt dark,

their presence threatening.::

Aren: You said you would always love me

Hunt: You said you were my friend

Jilenna: You said not to worry

Kon: You said I'd live

::Tears streamed down the Betazoid's face. They jeered at him, these people

he had let down the most, these people he felt the most guilty about, these

faces that haunted him.::

Deron: I tried to help you all. I really did. You have to believe me that

I tried to help you. I would have done anything to have been able to help

any of you

::Ignoring him, they shouted at him in turn.::

Jilenna: You let me die

Hunt: You let me die

Aren: You let me die

Kon: You let me die

::More faces, more voices, appeared and each yelled the same at him.

They grew to a large rabble and began to shout over each other at him. The

noise grew to a crescendo until it threatened to overwhelm him, he slammed

his hands over his ears and screamed over the din.::

::And as soon as they had appeared, they all disappeared. Where there had

been such noise, it was instantly quiet. He found himself again in the

dark silence of the drawing room of his grandparent's house looking down at

the small frame of Ollera Kon.::

Kon: And now, Eliaan, it is time that you die too...

TBC

Lieutenant Eliaan Deron, MD

Medical Officer

SB118 / USS Victory