round 16 Ens T'Reshik and Cadet Thyar - How do you deal?

[+ Saveron]

(( Quarters T’Reshik ))

 

:: Ever since Siance had found out who T’Reshik’s parent was, she had fought with herself to come to a conclusion for the question if she should tell her or not. Taurek hadn’t been any help, like at all, leaving it all in her hands. Who did he think she was? She was only a Cadet, at the beginning of her studies and he pushed that decision right into her lap, glued it to her pants so it couldn’t get away and told it to stay there. The young Trill had been so out of it, that she completely forgot her own plans for the time being, and instead had paced a hole into her carpet, to the dismay of her roommate, who had really liked that carpet. ::

 

:: But after a lot of soul searching, especially in her own past, in which she had not ever met her father who left after knocking up her mom, she would have wanted to know and so decided to tell T’Reshik. The next day she spent with trying to plan in her head what she wanted to say and how and if she even wanted to say anything, or just give the Vulcan woman the information. And now still battling over that, she had found her way to T’Reshik’s quarters, thanks to the computer telling her that she was here at the moment. ::

 

:: For at least five minutes she paced back and forth, trying to summon the courage to hit that buzzer, as if she herself was the long lost mother. Eventually she had to press it, because Vulcans were contact telepaths as much as she knew and so she wouldn’t know that someone waited out here to be let in. How nice would that be, though? In a moment of either madness or bravery -they were so close together it was scary- Siance finally pressed the buzzer and cursed at herself in her head the second she realized what she had done. ::

 

:: There was a pause, then T’Reshik appeared at the door, wearing a simple robe, and looking mildly unimpressed, as usual.::

 

T’Reshik: Yes?

 

Thyar: Uh… hi. I hope I’m not disturbing.

 

T’Reshik: You are, but that is irrelevant. Why are you here?

 

Thyar: ::Holding the PADD in her hands she slightly shuffled her feet.:: I got the information you requested.

 

:: The Vulcan paused. Awkwardness wasn't usually a part of T’Reshik’s emotional vocabulary, for various reasons, but her eyes might have reflected it for a moment then. She took a breath.::

 

T’Reshik: Then I owe you an apology. I only requested that information in order to make you leave the room. As you might understand, I was… making irrational decisions at the time.

 

::She looked at the PADD. The truth was that Siance had caught her in the middle of a detailed search through the ship’s personnel files to finish the job that Choi had started, and part of her really wanted to hear what the Trill cadet had to say. But there was a difference, a huge difference, between wanting to find answers, and letting other people know that. She had no doubt that Siance would report straight back to her department after this. That meant either Taurek, who hadn't yet been eliminated (although she deemed him an unlikely candidate, for various reasons) or Saveron, who would inevitably try to get involved with helping her accept the truth of her origins, or whatever pseudo-scientific psychological crap counsellors were into these days. No… that was not a favourable outcome.::

 

T’Reshik: So… I am not interested. You can leave now.

 

::The Trill stared at the Vulcan and felt that fiery ball in her stomach. She had what? Siance couldn’t believe it and struggled to find words for a moment. Still standing in the hallway, she tried to calm herself by taking a deep breath, but feared she would fail tremendously.::

 

Thyar: May I come in? ::pressing through her teeth::

 

T’Reshik: Why?

 

Thyar: ::It took another moment to not just blurt out what was going on in her mind and instead replied with a strained voice:: Because it would be beneficial to both of us if I don’t lose it in the hallway where everyone can listen to what I have to say and to whom.

 

:: T’Reshik began to suspect that Siance might be a little angry. She decided to try and mitigate the situation. ::

 

T’Reshik: Very well.

 

:: She backed up in the chair, allowing Siance to enter. In stark contrast to Choi’s room, T’Reshik’s was clear and orderly and almost entirely devoid of personality. Only the subtle adaptations for accessibility and the active console in the corner even suggested the presence of a regular inhabitant.::

 

:: The young Trill stepped inside and waited for the door to close. She had inherited one thing that surely didn’t come from her mother’s side. When she was angry, her voice got quiet and calm. She surely could blow up into people’s faces, but when she got quiet, it was really bad. And right now, her voice did not fit her words. ::

 

Thyar: Listen, I don’t know what you think gives you the right to waste my time with a fool’s errand, but where I come from we tell people to leave if we want them to leave. I don’t care if you really wanted to know who your parents are, but I got the information, so I will give you the bloody information.  :: Well all but the last part, that sounded a bit more aggravated.::

 

::T’Reshik held her gaze.::

 

T’Reshik: I was suffering from a severe neurochemical imbalance at the time. Do not expect that I was thinking clearly. Nevertheless, it is not my intention to waste your time further.

 

::She held out her hand.::

 

:: Siance looked down on the hand and kept holding the PADD, not ready yet to give it up. ::

 

Thyar: Does that mean you apologize?

 

T’Reshik: If it is that important to you, then yes, I apologise.

 

Thyar: Good. ::She smiled. That was more like it. Though she was surprised, not having expected that T’Reshik would really apologize about anything. She handed over the PADD to the Vulcan.::

 

T’Reshik: I will read it if and when I have the inclination.

 

Thyar: Okay. ::She hesitated.:: I’ll leave you be then.

 

T’Reshik: Good. ::Pause:: Thank you.

 

:: The young Trill turned to head out but then didn’t step forward. She nibbled her bottom lip before turning around once more.::

 

Thyar: Would you mind a question, Ensign?

 

::T’Reshik hesitated.::

 

T’Reshik: It depends on what the question is.

 

Thyar: Well, I know that Vulcans do the whole Arie'mnu thing with your emotions but, how do you deal with not knowing who are parents are?

 

T’Reshik: I am not certain I understand the question. Besides, I know who my parents are; they are the people who adopted me. It just so happens that I have an extra set.

 

 

:: The Trill sighed and without asking sat down on the seat and rubbed the ridge of her nose. This was difficult for her and she tried to find words that conveyed what she meant.::

 

Thyar: Like, do you wonder why they left or gave you up? Why they never tried to contact you? If you weren’t good enough for them?

 

::T’Reshik scrutinized Thyar for a moment before answering.::

 

T’Reshik: I do not need to “wonder”. Logical deduction suggests only a limited set of possibilities.

 

:: She didn't look down at the PADD - instead, she lay it aside, face down. She decided not to mention the anonymous message for now. ::

 

T’Reshik: Are you inquiring out of personal interest, or is this an attempt to initiate a counselling session?

 

Thyar: To be honest, it is not about you really. .oO Surprise duh Oo. My father left before I was even born and these are basically the questions I keep asking me ever since I heard it for the first time.

 

:: T’Reshik considered this. She wondered briefly why Siance was sharing this information with her. Perhaps she was having difficulty with her own situation and wished to consult a more organized mind.::

 

T’Reshik: Did your mother never tell you?

 

Thyar: She told me that he left and after a long time gave me his name. ::She hesitated, should she tell more? She knew where he was after all. But that wasn’t even part of the question right now. So why bother her with that. :: I just never got a chance to ask him all that or even meet him.

 

T’Reshik: Interesting. When faced with a situation such as yours, my immediate response would be to gain control of my emotional reactions before proceeding to find out as much as possible.

 

:: She paused, looking over at the PADD, still facedown. ::

 

T’Reshik: That having been said, your biological origins are only relevant to a certain extent. Your father might have contributed genetic material, but, assuming you had a conventional upbringing, it was your mother who assumed the burden of caregiving; whose choices and behaviour shaped your identity.

 

:: The Trill thought about that. It wasn’t wrong that it was relevant for medical history, but Siance also believed that some interests, or passions would pass on to the children even if they never met and she wondered which parts of her were ‘just like dad’. Her mom had done all she could and made so many sacrifices, but there was always that one part… ::

 

Thyar: Maybe. It still feels like I am missing a part of me.

 

T’Reshik: If your father left of his own accord… has it occurred to you that he might not be worth knowing?

 

:: That was the problem. She had always thought that her father would be this handsome, friendly, kind, successful guy. Her mother had spoken of him in such a good way, other than him leaving before she was born, that she had made up that image in her mind. Combined with the hope that he had a really good explanation it was a recipe to be disappointed, but Siance didn’t see that. ::

 

Thyar: ::She blinked and stared at the Vulcan for a moment, before she found her voice again.:: Of course not. He is my father after all.

 

::T’Reshik tilted her head.::

 

T’Reshik: Interesting. Vulcans rarely rely on such arbitrary considerations.

 

Thyar: ::She nodded with a hint of a smile on her defeatedly frowning lips.:: Guess that I’m not a Vulcan then.

 

T’Reshik: That much is apparent. Still, perhaps it might save you some… emotional distress if you were to follow our example.

 

::She glanced at the PADD again, face down and blank.::

 

Thyar: ::leaning forward she looked curiously at T’Reshik.:: IF you have the inclination to read the information, will you confront your biological parents?

 

T’Reshik: That depends.

 

Thyar: On what?

 

T'Reshik: I have been operating on the assumption that they both have valid reasons for their lack of presence in my life. Should your information suggest otherwise, I will of course seek clarification.

 

::And it was interesting, too, what Thyar was saying and what she was omitting. She could conclude, for example, that at least one of them was still alive (and therefore the message was likely to be genuine), if the Cadet was suggesting confrontation as a possibility. Assuming she’d actually read the information herself.::

 

Thyar: That makes sense, I guess. Though I think that something that they might see as valid could be not seen as such by you. People think differently.

 

T’Reshik: Interesting. Tell me, Cadet. If the truth of your lineage was likely to be unpleasant, even distressing… would you want to know?

 

:: That was an interesting question. Siance was not sure what to think of it or what would could to be unpleasant. Like, if her mother hated the man? Or if they had split up in a bad way? Maybe she just didn’t have enough experience to know what the Vulcan could mean with that. ::

Thyar: I guess so. I mean the how it happened or how it ended, does not change that he’s my father or in your case are your parents.

 

T’Reshik: Only if you consider his contribution significant to begin with.

 

:: Siance nodded slightly and let go of a long heavy breath before pushing herself from the seat back to her feet. ::

 

Thyar: Well, if I can do anything else for you or if you want to talk just let me know. I’ll leave you to … whatever you were doing.

 

:: T’Reshik didn't think that was likely, but she stopped short at saying so.:

 

T’Reshik: Thank you, Cadet.

 

Thyar: ::On her way to the door:: And thanks for listening, Ma’am.

 

T’Reshik: That-

 

:: She was about to say something along the lines of that not being necessary, as listening took little to no effort, but wondered if Siance might take that the wrong way. The Cadet had just divulged some personal information of her own, which might have held a significant emotional cost for her, and T’Reshik was never sure where the lines were between friendliness and professionalism when it came to this kind of situation. She erred on the side of caution.::

 

T’Reshik: You are welcome.

 

Thyar: ::She offered a warm smile to the other woman.:: Have a nice day.

 

:: With that she walked through the opening doors and made herself back to her shared quarters, her shift was over now and she needed time to think. She was so close, and still hadn’t found the courage to visit him. She needed to put a plan together to get finally on with this. ::

 

:: T’Reshik, meanwhile, stared at the doors for a moment or two more before turning back to the PADD. She ran through the situation in her mind, laying out what she already knew.::

 

:: At least one (and probably both) of her primary caregivers was not her biological parent.::

 

:: One of her biological parents had recently been in touch with her, using an account that had been accessed from aboard this very ship.::

 

:: Her parents had kept the truth from her deliberately. ::

 

:: Whatever was in that PADD was highly likely to be the truth. ::

 

:: And yet she made no move to pick it up. She hadn't even wanted Siance to give it to her. Or had she? Perhaps some subconscious part of her had truly feared the possibility of dying without knowing her genetic origins, back there in that isolation room. Well, whatever part that had been, it was obviously a sucker for punishment. Whatever was on that PADD, T’Reshik strongly suspected it wouldn't be easy reading.::

 

:: It shouldn't even matter. Why did Siance want so badly to know who her father was? He hadn't known her, hadn't cared for her or brought her up, just as T’Reshik’s genetic parents had likely been nothing more than two strangers who happened to find themselves with a child that, in all likelihood, neither of them had wanted.::

 

::Abruptly, she grabbed the PADD without looking at it, and dropped it in a desk drawer, which she then slid shut.::

 

:: Maybe she’d open it again one day. But first she had to convince herself that whatever Siance had written on there, it wasn't who she was. ::

 

 

A JP by

 

Ensign T'Reshik
Science
USS Constitution
D239311T10

 

And

 

Cadet 2nd grade Siance Thyar

Counseling Trainee

 

simmed by

 

Captain Jalana Rajel

Commanding Officer

USS Constitution B

Image Team Facilitator

A238906JL0