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LtCmdr Velana: Balance

Sedrin Belasi

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((Prak Zel Grand Hotel))

::The first thing Velana did after checking into her room was to put Maddox
down for a nap and take the longest shower possible. Unfortunately, it
wasn't as long as she would have liked since her baby started crying about
twenty minutes into her steamy bliss.:: '

::Although still tired and sore, Velana couldn't help but smile as she
wrapped herself up in towels and went to sort out what was wrong. This was
her life now. Relaxation had just become a luxury.::

::After she changed Maddox and rocked him back to sleep, she got dressed
and combed out her wet hair. There was only one thing on her list of
things to do; it was time to contact her mother.::

::The hotel's front desk walked her through opening a subspace
communication and within minutes, she was looking at T'Lan against the
gorgeous backdrop of the San Francisco Bay.::

T'Lan: Velana, is everything all right?

Velana: Everything is fine, Mother. ::She smiled.:: I just thought you'd
like to meet your grandson.

::Her mother had been raised with the same beliefs as Velana, but losing
her husband and her son had made her less willing to indulge in emotion
over logic. Still, her gently wrinkled features softened at this news and
Velana was quite certain her eyes grew misty.::

T'Lan: Oh, Velana... ::She cleared her throat.:: When did this happen?

Velana: Two days ago. I've been in a hospital on Zakdorn IV. The birth
was...complicated, but we're both fine. ::She held the baby up so her
mother could see him on her screen.:: His name is Maddox.

T'Lan: It seems to suit him. A Vulcan name wouldn't entirely fit.

Velana: No, it wouldn't. ::Hesitating.:: Mother, you know he is

T'Lan: Of course I know. You are not a mystery to me, Velana. I am aware
of the child's parentage.

::Velana gently transferred Maddox to her shoulder.::

Velana: He wants to be in Maddox's life. He wants him to be a Whitman.

::Her mother arched an eyebrow.::

T'Lan: That is asking a lot. Perhaps too much.

Velana: ::softly:: I want to believe him.

T'Lan: But you're not willing to risk Maddox being hurt him by him. Like
you were. ::She smiled.:: I told you, my child. I know you. And part of
knowing you is being aware of just how deep your emotions run.

Velana: I am trying to be logical. He is Maddox's father and he has
rights. I don't doubt that he's sincere. But, Mother, every time I'm on
the verge of convincing myself, I remember what it felt like to be cast
aside in favor of his career. And then I imagine him doing the same thing
to Maddox. ::She shook her head.:: I can't let that happen.

T'Lan: Velana, there is an act that transcends logic and is more powerful
than emotion. It is called forgiveness.

Velana: You're saying I should just forgive him? Like it never happened?

T'Lan: I am not. I am simply saying that your anger with him does you
absolutely no good. Whatever emotions you have towards Maddox's father is
what Maddox will feel for him, too. Do you want him to grow up hating his
own father?

Velana: Of course not.

T'Lan: ::after a moment:: I've never told you this because I never wanted
you to doubt your father for any reason, but Kvoss broke off our engagement
the night before our joining.

::It was like hearing that Zefram Cochrane had faked his warp flight.::

Velana: ::blinking:: Excuse me?

T'Lan: Oh, yes. He said we were too young and he wasn't sure if he was
ready and he wanted to focus on medicine before he had to deal with a wife
and children. ::She smiled ruefully at the memory.:: Of course, he
changed his mind in time for the ceremony to go ahead, but for nearly a
day, my heart was broken.

Velana: I'm not sure that's an equivalent scenario, Mother.

T'Lan: Imagine I hadn't forgiven him and I believe you will find that it
is. ::She leaned closer to the screen.:: I am not telling you what to
do. I am simply asking you to examine what is ruling you right now. Logic
or emotions? Remember...

::Velana closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the words her father had
spoken so often.::

Velana: ::whispering:: Balance.

::T'Lan sat back in satisfaction.::

T'Lan: All right. Now tell me everything about my grandson.

Lt. Commander Velana
Chief Medical Officer
USS Vigilant

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