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PO3 Janick Gertz - Hammer Of Justice


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((Jefferies Tube - Somewhere Between Decks 502 and 503))

::It was odd, Janick found. Almost every time he'd been assigned a boring, monotonous task such as this previously in his career, he'd considered it a punishment for some wrong-doing he couldn't remember perpetrating. It seemed to him that he'd paid what dues were owed to Starfleet many times over, and in this - the thirty-eighth year of his existence - he deserved better. After the chaos and pandemonium of the last few days, however, it was the menial tasks he craved. Especially the ones stuck down Jefferies tubes, away from supposedly sentient life-forms, panic, destruction and fire. Most definitely fire. All of that was no doubt still occurring, somewhere on the station, but down here in his tube it seemed a thousand miles away.::

::Out with the old sensor, in with the new one. Connect it up, test it. Rinse, repeat. Clearly an engineering job under normal

circumstances, but these were not normal circumstances and it was a fairly simple task. Besides, to be fair to the Lieutenant who'd

accosted him, he was wearing the right colour uniform for it and not entirely doing a great deal else. If he wasn't doing this, no doubt

fairy-hair would find him something worse, probably with more people. Gertz hadn't heard from 'her' in a while, he realised. He wasn't

overly bothered by that.::

::As he crawled along the tube to the next sensor array, Janick heard a noise up ahead. His first reaction was that of defensive jealousy. This was *his* tube. Whichever engineer thought otherwise could bloody well shove off to another one. His second thought was that of concerned curiosity. What if it was someone, or something, else? Cautiously he approached the bend in the tube, and peered around it. Immediately he retracted his head, and considered what he'd seen. A ferengi, in frankly disgustingly soiled attire, clutching a fabric bag. The back was wriggling. The ferengi, too, was wriggling. Gertz decided to stay where he was, for the time.::

Ferengi: Come to Lenk, me pretties. Come on, all o' ya. You's gonna make Lenk a rich ferengi, yes you is! If Lenk still had a family that could bear to be seen in public with 'im, yous could help Lenk provide fer 'em at last!

::There was a loud clanging, and a shrieking sound.::

Lenk: Oi! No biting Lenk! You's not so valuable that Lenk can't kill one or two of ya ta make a point!

::Janick crept around the corner, trying to steel himself against the smell of the... man? Just as Lenk reached forward for his prey, Gertz decided to announce his presence. The startled vermin (this could feasibly apply to both creatures I suppose but in this instance it applies solely to the ferengi's prey) shrieked and scurried away, causing Lenk to curse, and slam his gloved fist against the wall in annoyance. The ferengi rounded on him, and tried to assume as aggressive a pose as possible considering he was, by necessity, on his hands and knees.::

Lenk: Now look what you done! He was this close! ::The ferengi indicated an exaggeratedly small distance with his thumb and

forefinger.:: I almost 'ad 'im, he'd have been me sixth today!

Gertz: Your sixth what, exactly?

::Lenk grinned widely, revealing rotting teeth that even Lieutenant Brek would probably have found revolting, and proudly displayed the contents of his cloth bag - carefully - to the petty officer.::

Lenk: Fyra! They went and 'scaped from the labs when the power went.

Valuable, they is, if you knows who wants 'em.

::Suddenly, Gertz knew what he'd happened upon. This was a chance, he realised. Unlike the comb-in-the-trashed-hotel-room incident while on shore leave (which due to what he now knew to be careless handling of the evidence had accidentally resulted in implicating nobody but himself), here was a real, actual criminal. He'd be a hero. Starfleet security would be clamouring to transfer him to their ranks. They might even commission him, if he was lucky.::

::There was just one small problem. While there was no end of evidence of the act being committed, Gertz wasn't entirely sure it was a crime. His instinct (which was probably based more on class - not to mention racial - prejudice than actual experience) told him that it probably was, so in the heat of the moment that would suffice.::

Gertz: Mister, erm- Lenk, is it? ::The ferengi nodded, eagerly.:: Mister Lenk, you leave me no choice but to arrest you for the crime

of... er... ::incoherent mumbling::. You are to be remanded in my custody, to be transferred into the welcoming embrace of a Starfleet Security holding cell at *my* convenience, whereby you will be prosecuted to the full extent of Federation Law. What have you have to say for yourself?

::Gertz grinned smugly. He'd never bothered to find out what you were supposed to say upon arresting a criminal, but assumed it would probably be something like that. Upon hearing it, said criminal would then be overcome with regret, remorse, fear or guilt - possibly all four at once - and submit themselves to his will. Lenk showed signs of being overcome with precisely none of those things.::

Lenk: ::Blankly:: ...what?

Gertz: ::Gesturing, to help ease the apparent language barrier.:: I'm. Arresting. You.

Lenk: ...why?

Gertz: ::Mumbling:: Smuggling, theft, vagrancy, or something similar. ::More clearly:: Does it matter? I mean, look at you... ::He would

have sniffed in disgust, if he didn't think the sudden odourous onslaught would kill him.::

Lenk: More's the point, look at *you*. No security officer wouldn't be crawlin' around with a bag of tech-stuff. What's that tick thing mean?

::After a moment of confusion, Janick realised the vagrant was referring to his rank insignia.::

Gertz: It means that I am Petty Officer Third Class Janick Gertz, of Starfleet. And you, as I believe I have mentioned, are in my custody.

::The ferengi smirked at him, and much to Gertz' annoyance, remained defiant.::

Lenk: It means you're a volunteer who they don't trust with no real jobs, who 'as to crawl 'round vents all day. And Lenk don't like


Gertz: ::Incensed.:: Listen here, I may have been unjustly held back in my career... Maybe I *do* have to crawl around vents all day - not actually true, incidentally. However, at least I'm permitted - nay, required - to do so! You, Mister Lenk, are neither. You are under

arrest, whether you like it or not! I demand that you cease your oO possibly Oo illegal activities forthwith, and follow me to a detention cell!

::Gertz' smug grin returned, confident his weighty flourish of authority would have the desired affect. Still the vagabond refused to

flinch. Gertz gritted his teeth.::

Lenk: If you wants to arrest me for doing nuffin' wrong, yous gonna have to go get a proper security man. Lenk knows 'ow the chain of command works, see. ::Pointing with a filthy fingerless-gloved hand:: *You* can't do nuffin' to Lenk.

::Gertz's eyes opened wide, and for a while he was uncharacteristically lost for words and knelt in the tube with his mouth agape. He stared at the man incredulously.::

Gertz: Chain... chain of command?! You, of all people?! If you don't bloody well get off your [...] right this second and follow me, I'll go and get the chain of command alright, sunshine. I'll get the bloody thing and beat you to within an inch of your loathesome, Lilliputian, little life, you putrid, pox-ridden, plebeian [...]ant! How dare you question the authority of a Starfleet officer?!

Lenk: Non-commissioned Starfleet officer...

Gertz: ::His face reddening with wrath:: I'll have you know, there are THREE crewmen below me, who report DIRECTLY TO ME. They're bloody useless, I can't find them half the time, and I don't even know one of their forenames, but they report to ME oO sometimes Oo! Which makes me significantly more important than the likes of you, you bloody filth-encrusted, foul-smelling, f-f-f-f-

Lenk: Now, now, that sort o' language isn't really becomin' of such an important Starfleet officer, is it?

::What happened next was not Janick Gertz' finest hour. If there were a collection of Gertz' proudest moments in Starfleet, this would not even make the director's cut (and let's face it, we'd be struggling for content as it was). It also wasn't entirely Janick's doing. For

several moments, as his fist began the lightning-quick journey towards the ferengi's foetid face Janick could not account for it's

whereabouts. All he knew was, after impact, his hand hurt. But not half as much as the Ferengi's cheek. Were he a more violent man, or even were he still in his youth, he might have reflected upon this moment with an air of triumph and victory and remark that it was "a hell of a left hook". However, Janick Gertz was not a more violent man, and certainly was not still in his youth. So upon seeing the Ferengi's head bounce off the wall of the Jefferies tube, he collected his bag of sensors - both old and new mixed together in his haste - and crawled away from the scene. Very swiftly.::

oO He's not dead. Just sleeping. Just sleeping. He headbutted my fist, there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nothing at all. And even if there was, I wouldn't have. Shouldn't have been... doing that... crime thing. He was definitely doing crime, of some sort... Oo



PO3 Janick Gertz

Operations Lackey/Crime-fighting Superhero

Starbase 118PO3 Janick Gertz - Hammer Of Justice

Simmed by Necessity James

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