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[Round 7] Dark Depression, Deep Expression


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((Outside of Doubleshot))

Adair-Walker: ::Ro raised an eyebrow:: "Whats obvious?" ::She had no idea what he was rattling on about, but now she was getting a little concerned.::

Walker: That they are right...they' ve always been right. I...I'm just a freak. Good for tactics...but. ..not someone...not. ..I...And you...you're beautiful... and...and I probably screwed this up too...I just...

Brice: What're you two doing out here? Party's in there.

:: While not the last person Ben wanted to talk to at the moment...Ethan was high on the list. A small voice chuckled as it pointed out that Ro WAS the top person on the list..and it didn't seem likely she was going to leave. Composing himself, he replied. ::

Walker: Just ah....talking. ..

:: Ethan blew a whistle.:: Brice: Ahh jealousy – another step in the Romi-Boy emotion program, I take it.

Walker: No...nothing like that...

:: His words sounded hollow, even to him...::

Brice: Well... ::he shrugged:: When you're done there'll be a Chief Engineer in there who wouldn't mind his brother and his keeper joining him. He'll be the one wearing the white carnation.

:: Ethan went to walk down the corridor back to the Double Shot, but turned to walk backwards for a second.::

Brice: And err... don't think we won't be having a brotherly chat either. One is long overdue.

Walker: oO He knows! He knows and...and I made it worse...and. ..Oo

::Ro took an even harder hold on his arm and dragged him down the hallway, he didn't resist her, not an encouraging thought. She found a small alcove by one of the bay windows::

Adair-Walker: What the hell are you talking about? Freak? who said ya were a freak?

:: Ben looked back at her with dull eyes. To someone else...he might have fought...had someone attacked him, or those he cared about, fury would have infused him. But this emotion, this knowledge of his own failures...drained away everything. In a strange way, it barely hurt...as they say a mortal wound barely hurts...at least it would soon be over. The words came out in a tired, defeated monotone. ::

Walker: Who said it? Or who said it first? Doesn't matter...and you don't need to be a telepath to see it.

Adair-Walker: Och Ben ::Ro said softly:: No one thinks you are odd, especially not me. :: She looked around.::Come on lets find someplace less public.

::She walked him further down the hallway until they came to a secluded area and she made him sit down. Ben was like a robot, he sat then stared at her.::

:: Her words brought fresh pain back to him. Part of him wanted them to be true...wanted it like an orphaned child wants their parents to come back and say it was all a terrible mistake. Another part wanted her to just go away...to leave him to his pain...not stir it up ::

Walker: You're wrong. I see it all the time. People moving to avoid me....conversations suddenly hushed. :: he laughed harshly:: and for some...a direct statement that I'm not good enough.

Adair-Walker: :: Now she was worried. :: No one moves ta avoid ya, the move out of respect fa your rank, and the fact that ya walk so fast, they think ya might knock em over. :: She took his hand in hers.:: And no one would ever think let alone say you're no good enough. :: She looked at him.:: What would make you say that?, and who would say a thing like that?

:: Was she blind? Did she think he was? After everything.. .did she really not know? He turned on her, all the frustration coming out in a burst of rage. ::

Walker: Who? Who said it? Hmmm...let's see shall we? Captain Mar...when she said that rescuing a crewmate wasn't worth risking me. Lieutenant Thelev when he challenged my authority... DURING A Fvadt-ing mission! Or Commander Wilde when he said I cared too much about those under me to be a good leader. Or you....

Adair-Walker: :: Ro stared at him:: Me? when the hell have I ever said something like that to ya?

Walker: You did...when you told me I screwed up by trying to protect a friend. :: He laughed again harshly:: And you know what? Maybe you are all right. Maybe I should have just let your maniac ex-boyfriend finish me off. Maybe then....nevermind.

:: Ro glared at him, how dare he mention Ewen, this had nothing to do with Ewen! ::

Adair-Walker: Right !!! now ya are being just a wee bit too paranoid fa your own good Benjamin Walker. :: She moved herself in front of him, and sat crosslegged staring at him. :: Finish what ya started man, Maybe what?

Walker: Maybe they'd be alive....maybe I wouldn't have screwed up Ethan's relationship with the Counselor... maybe...I don't know...maybe you'd be with someone who's actually human...not some "Romi-Boy" freak.

:: Ro had the overwhelming urge to smack his stupid sasenech face, but she didn't, instead she took his face in her hands and made him make eye contact.::

Adair-Walker: First of all ya didna screw up anything between Ethan and Karynn, they are daing just fine. :: She waited for him to look right at her.:: And I love you Ben Walker, I have never ever in all my life told a man I loved him. Those three words were said to you, and to no one else, do you hear me? ::She shook her head.:: I love YOU, Ben Walker, no matter who you think you are or what ya think ya've done, you are my friend, my lover and my husband and I'd no change you for anyone or anything.

:: Ben looked at his wife...just staring for a moment completely transfixed. Why did she want him? He was so completely messed up...but...the words...the way she said them...there was such a sense of truth he couldn't form the words to deny them. Tears, long denied, flowed down his cheeks without notice. He tried to look at things the way she had described... was it possible? If he was so reviled as he'd thought...why did an ensign that barely knew him come after him. Why did Cara, in the midst of her own sorrow...still try to comfort him? Why would Ethan call him brother and almost forcibly invite him to the party? Why would Ro stay here...say those words... What if...and this rocked him almost as hard as the three words the woman he loved had said....what if those closest to him already thought he belonged...knew it to such an extent that they didn't even think to question it, simply expected him to know. All of this passed through his mind in a flash. He held her head gently in his hands, staring deeply back into her eyes.::

Walker: And I love you Ronan Tully Adair-Walker. :: He chuckled:: I think I'll just stick to Ro in the future...I almost need to take a breath in the middle..

Adair-Walker: :: Ro smiled at him.:: Look man, its your fault that I have such a bloody long name, ya couldn't just leave it at Tully Adair ya made me stick Walker on the end. ::She sighed as she watched his face.:: Now are ya feeling a wee bit better, now that ya got it all out of your system?

Walker: Yeah...a bit better. Just...kind of got overwhelmed when I saw you with him...

:: They helped each other up to a standing postion.::

Adair-Walker: Him? ya thought I was actually with him? ya thought I was cheatin on ya?

::That was the last straw, Ro drew her arm back and hit him square on the jaw.::

:: Ben, completely shocked by the blow, fell back onto his rear. ::

Walker: OW! What was that for?

Adair-Walker: ::Ro leaned over him.::Fa ever thinking that I would da something like that! I love you, I would never cheat on ya - ya daft man. I'd rather die than hurt you that way. ::She stared at him.::

:: He rubbed his jaw, looking at the hand suspiciously. ::

Walker: You aren't going to hit me again...right?

Adair-Walker: ::Ro put her arm down.:: I'm thinking bout it.

:: The dark haired human raised his hands defensively. ::

Walker: Ok...ok. So...should we make an appearance in the doubleshot at least? I'm guessing Ethan is going to be having words if I don't stop by...well..more words I guess.

::Ro held out her hands to help him up. She pulled him to her, and kissed him softly.::

Adair-Walker: Well at least he canna hit as hard as I da, and besides I'll no let him, your mine and no one can hit you cept me.

:: Ben put his arm around her, holding her tight against him. ::

Walker: And no one can hit ON you...except me...

:: They both chuckled as Ro softly punched him in the side...walking back together toward the party. As they entered the room, Ben waved to the crowded table, making sure Ethan saw him. He then whispered to Ro, softly enough that only she could hear. ::

Walker: So...you sure things are ok between Ms. Ehlanii and Ethan? Otherwise..this could be very awkward...

((Tag all))

JP: Cmdr Ben Walker, FO/Lt Ronan Tully Adair-Walker, CMO, USS Ronin (With Guest appearance by: Lt. Ethan Brice!)

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