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Captain Gaudemus Bail - Zero Stars, Would Not Be Rescued By Again! (Part 1 & 2)


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@Karrod Niac has created a need in me to have Bail as a recurring nuisance for Ronin and the Alpha Islands. And his flask. It is just great.

Great job!


Part 1:


((Runabout Kushino, Sunjat System))

Tucker: ::with no remorse:: Sorry Captain, but your ship has become a burden—time to say your goodbyes.

Bail gasped dramatically but in his mind he was so gleeful he nearly passed out.  The one thing he'd always spent money on in relation to the Delight was the insurance policy....one which routinely and massively overestimated the value of both ship and cargo aboard.  

Raga: I appreciate the initiative Tuck, but next time I’d appreciate it if you’d wait for my order. Stay close to the freighter we have to recover her sensor logs. ::To Kel:: Are you certain about the chronitons, Doc? You didn’t say anything about them earlier.

Sm’uf: I don’t remember detecting any chronitons, but we passed through an asteroid field with lots of debris and energy pockets when we fled.

Gaudemus had shed most of his cocoon of blankets and felt a familiar weight pressed against his side.  To his delight he found his flask, made of the scorched remains of his first ship, had survived once again.  He opened it, filling the cabin with eye watering bouquet, and took several deep pulls on the less than legal contents.  With a greatly satisfied sigh he leaned against the bulkhead and offered the few drops remaining around.  

Bail: Chronitons?  Never touch the stuff personally.  Devidians pee in it, you know.  

Kel:  I'm not sure why I didn't detect them earlier, perhaps something in the storm was masking my readings.

Tucker: ::rolling his neck:: Now that we’re free of the burden, I think I can get us out of here. ::reacts to beep from the console:: Crap, I’ve two bogies inbound; at the current course, they’ll incept us once we’re off the planet. Can someone find out who and what that might bet? I’ve still got this storm to deal with.

Kenmore: Awesome... best timing... :: He said sarcastically feeling their situation just seemed to go from bad to worse.

The cabin rocked once again but this time Bail managed to keep his feet with ease, his head beginning to swim pleasantly.  He always did fly better with a few drinks in him.  

Computer: =/\= Shields at fifteen percent. =/\=

Raga: I’ve got you. Looks like those are Sheliak fighters. They’re staying out of the gas giant’s atmosphere.

Shaking his head in detached annoyance Bail gestured towards the ceiling with his flask.  

Bail: Persistent ugly blobs those Sheliak.  Really hold a grudge.    

Kel:  Mr. Sm'uf, please stand here. ::brings up the containment field::  Let's have you stay here for now.  Not to worry, I've dealt with issues like these before.  

Tucker: ::looking over his shoulder:: I need someone to reroute tertiary backup systems through the shields. I’m not sure if that’ll work but it’s worth a try and I’m seriously open for some ideas.

Raga: Ensign Kenmore. That’s you, get those backups routed to the shields. ::He glanced back at Bail:: Captain Bail, I suggest you take a seat and hang onto something.

Bail found the nearest chair and plopped down like a man returning to a favorite recliner at the end of a long day.  

Bail:  With pleasure, Admiral.  Incidentally is there any food laying around?  I'm starting to feel a bit peckish.  

Sm’uf: Of course, doc.

Kenmore: Yes sir! :: He replied, moving to the panel on the floor, pulling it up to begin rerouting the back up systems.

Kenmore: I'm going as fast as I can! This isn't one of my strong suits! :: he shouted up from the floor, anxious about getting the power routed in time. Hoping that he had learned enough from some coaching that Tucker had given.

Kel:  It would probably be advisable for you to sit back and strap yourself in.  

Bail glanced down at the young man who was frantically working on the runabouts systems and in an uncharacteristically charitable display, dismounted his chair and crouched down to offer a few positive words.    

Bail: Don't worry young man, it's not like we all die if you get that wrong.  

Raga: Mister Tucker. I have an idea but it’s going to require some fancy piloting on your part. Are you up for it?

Tucker: ::looking at the XO, rolling his neck:: I don’t know what you have in mind, but I’m sure I’m going to love it. ::a mischievous grin played across the ensign's face::

Kenmore: Why do I have a bad feeling about that?...

Kel: ::Annoyed, looking at Bail::  I realize Captain Gaudemus Bail never loses his balance, could you just sit down and shut up anyway?

Sm’uf: Hah. Good luck, I’ve been trying to get him to shut up for years.

Bail put his hands up in mock surrender and returned to his very comfortable chair.  

Bail: This is the thanks I get for trying to help!  And to think, Starfleet has a reputation for hospitality!  

Raga: Good. Because I want you to take us back to the freighter as soon as we get close enough we’re going to beam the Sabrina’s navigational computer directly on board then get out of this gas giant post haste.

Kenmore: Oh no... Back into the storm?

Kel: ::sticking his head back into the command module::  We're going back where?

That cut through Bail's alcoholic fog with a most unpleasant blast of anxiety.  

Bail:  Now lets not go and do something rash, Admiral!  

His wise, informed opinion was ignored as the Starfleet crew eagerly invented a new and unpleasant form of suicide.  

Raga: Good, take us back in, Tuck. Full impulse. Everyone else might want to secure yourselves. ::He glanced over his shoulder:: Ensign Kenmore, you’re on tactical. I have a feeling we’ll have to fight them either way, whether they follow us in or not.

Tucker: ::grinning:: I’d do what the XO says; this could get a little hairy.

Kenmore: Ye-Yes sir! :: He replied nervously.

Kel: ::looking at Sm'uf and Bail:: I'd suggest you hold on to something.

Bailed grabbed at the only thing important to him.  Himself.  

Bail: I'll be sending Starfleet a very strongly worded message when all of this is over, Doctor!  This is a dreadful way to treat us poor civilians!  

Bail watched with growing anxiety as the viewports filled with the swirling clouds of the gas giant's outer atmosphere, his stomach lurching as the ship jerked and dropped through the chemical soup and into the broiling cauldron of danger below.  He raised the flask to his lips and desperately drained the last few drops as the storm enveloped him once again.  


((OOC:  As this sim has gotten absolutely enormous I'm breaking it into chunks for readability's sake!))

Gaudemus Bail
Former Owner & Operator
S.S. Sabrina's Delight


Part 2:

((Runabout Kushino, Sunjat System))

Computer: Warning. Shields at thirty seven percent.

Bail blanched as the storm buffeted the small craft and his hands went to his pockets in a futile hope for something else to drink.  As the ship plunged deeper into the storm he wondered where these Starfleet people kept their beverages, certain there was a liquor cabinet somewhere aboard he'd overlooked.  

Raga: Locking onto the computer’s memory core. I’m going to beam it into the lounge. Just hold us close for a few seconds, Ensign.

Tucker: ::getting nervous:: Anytime commander

Bail raised his voice to be heard over the din in the cabin.  

Bail: Try to be delicate, young man, that's a very expensive piece of equipment you're transporting!  

The ships chatty computer seemed to find this course of action as objectionable as Bail himself, refusing to lock the transporters as the hull creaked around them in the crushing pressures of the atmospheric gasses.  

Raga: Initiating transport….::A few seconds passed in which the runabout jostled from the storm:: And we’ve got it. Shields up. Mister Tucker, if you wouldn’t mind showing off a little and get us out of here if you please.

Bail stood to go examine what they'd managed to recover from the Delight but was thrown upon his posterior once again when the shockwave from an explosion slapped the ship sideways.  

Tucker:  ::fingers flying over the console:: Okay, Mav, lightem’ up!

Kenmore: Hell yeah!! Get some!!

Sm’uf: You are entirely too excited by this. ::He commented and groaned slightly::

Bail nodded in passing and patted his first mate on the shoulder.  

Bail: See?  This is why you fly with Gaudemus Bail!  Zero thrilling heroics, none of this foolish nonsense.  Don't you worry, we'll be back in space and trading again in no time!  

Kel:  Mr. Sm'uf are you feeling alright?

Sm’uf: I do not. A little queasy and my head is spinning.

Kenmore: Hey Marty! Another pass! We're going to finish this!

Tucker: Hang on tight, Mav; I’ll try to get you a good shot!

Raga: I’ve diverted all the power I can to engines and the tactical system.

The ship rocked again as Gaudemus reached the rear cabin, the familiar dinged cabinet of their navigation computer laid out on the deck.  He flipped open an access cover and began digging inside with growing excitement.  

Bail: Now where did....I know it's in here...somewhere....

Computer: =/\= Shields at five percent. =/\=

Kenmore: Just need... one clean shot!

Tucker: Computer, attack pattern Tucker-delta two.

Computer: =/\= Acknowledged =/\=

Bail winced as the cabin filled with a blinding light and put his hand to eyes.  It passed in a moment but left a strange halo on his vision, distracting him from his examination of the computer casing.

Tucker: ::jamming his eyes shut at the bright light:: Ugh, seriously, shut it off!!

Kenmore: What the hell!? :: He exclaimed, putting a hand over his eyes to try and prevent being blinded by the light.

Kel:  ::covering his eyes::  What is that?

Raga: I don’t know, but Winds that was bright.

He shouted towards the cabin from the rear.  

Bail: I know a great interior lighting guy if you'd prefer cabin illumination that doesn't blind people, Admiral!  

Kel:  Everyone alright up here?

Tucker: Yeah, I’m fine—a bit of a headache, but all good.

Kenmore: I've been better... :: He replied ::  How's everyone else doing?

Raga: I’m alright, I think. I do not get along well with bright lights. It’ll take a few minutes for my vision to clear.

Elbow deep in the casing Gaudemus felt his hand brushing against something and rotated, pulling his prize free with an intense personal glee.  He sauntered forward and returned to his seat, holding up the shimmering green bottle of Aldebaran whiskey.  

Bail: At least we won't die thirsty...::He considered the small bottle and the number of people aboard::...well at least, I won't die thirsty.  

Kel:  I have no idea what that was, but we lost containment around Sm'uf.  We should check our chronometers.

Tucker: ::not believing what the sensors were telling him:: Uh, what happened to the Sheliak?

Kenmore: They aren't out there... There is no confirmation of their destruction.

Raga: First let’s count ourselves fortunate to still be in one piece. Just take a moment, and let’s focus on figuring out the where, and why. Then we can consider the how.

Bail refilled his flask carefully, pocketed it, then proceeded to take a long pull directly from the bottle itself.  He began muttering, mostly to himself, about chronitons.    

Bail: ...Devidians pee in it.  

He took another long drink as the Starfleet crew looked to one another in confusion.  He was rapidly approaching a headspace where he was being caring.  

Kel: Is that the Ronin?

Kenmore: Nah, that's not it..., Nor does it look like the Arrow. Is there any other federation vessels out here? :: He asked everyone, curious as to what ship that was.

Tucker: ::pinching the bridge of his nose:: Doc, I don’t know what to make of it. The sensors are telling me it’s phasing in and out. That can’t be right, can it?

Kenmore: "Phasing"? What kind of phasing? Does it have something to do with you asking us to check chronometers?... :: He asked V'Len, not sure what was going on and if they were perhaps connected.

Raga: Good question. Run scans on that vessel and let’s see if we can figure out who we’re dealing with.

Bail shook his head and glanced back to his first mate.  

Bail: Maybe you and I should join Starfleet, Mr. Sm'uf.  We certainly couldn't do any worse than they are!  

Kel:  Miranda-class?  I thought that class was decommissioned years ago?

Kenmore: They were... :: He confirmed what Lieutenant Kel was saying :: Could this be one that went missing? Or one that's been taken out of mothballs?...

Tucker: :: looking at the XO::Commander, orders?

Kenmore:  Should we try opening haling frequencies to see if anyone can respond?

Raga: Negative. Scan them first. If we did get sent back in time we have to follow the temporal directive. Runabouts didn’t exist yet when the Miranda class was in regular use. See if you can get a registry number. Any lifesigns?

Gaudemus felt an odd frustration growing as the contents of the bottle rapidly diminished.  

Bail:  Have you considered just...turning around?  Or is that too simple for you sophisticated Starfleet types!?

Kel: Response

Tucker: ::looking at his console:: I’m reading a few life signs, not strong, but they are there. Not many either.

Kenmore: Suggest if we can Commander, to board the ship and investigate what's going on with it. There could be people on that ship, and at the very least, the ship's computers hold something to explain its current situation? :: He suggested, hoping they could find out more about what was happening with it.

Now that his vision had cleared Toryn could take a much better look at the sensor readings of the seemingly derelict ship.

Raga: Maybe. Based on the sensor readings, that ship is the USS Sojourn. NCC-Three Nine Five Nine Four.

Bail snickered and looked back towards his first mate who, at some point, had wisely chosen to fall asleep.  He began rambling towards him anyway.  

Bail:  Starfleet vessels always have ridiculous names....you need to have something with character...with some class!  Not the 'USS Fancy Word.'  

Kel: Response

Tucker: ::he cocked his head at most of the readings coming in:: Uh, that thing is radiating chronitons. I also get low-energy readings, warp core offline, and minimal life support. She’s dead in the water, but I can’t see any hull damage at this range. When it starts to phase, the readings go blank. What do ya’ll make of it?

He glanced at their engineer and current pilot with a raised brow.

Raga: I think that either they or us, or both, ran into something that’s going to give me more paddwork than I’d like. If she’s dead in the water, then we need to render assistance.

Tucker: ::arms folded across his chest:: From the scans so far, she’s adrift.

Gaudemus gestured towards himself and Mr. Sm'uf with an exaggerated shrug.  

Bail:  Cause offering assistance worked out so well for you folks the last time...?

Kel/Maverick: Response

Raga: Alright. All stop, Mister Tucker, and then run detailed scans. See if you can get an idea of how often that ship phases and for how long. I’m not sending any of us over there until I know if we’re all going to just vanish a minute after we beam over. We also need to know any medical concerns for us and the Sojourn’s crew. ::He looked at Kel:: Most of all, we can’t interfere with the timeline. Mister Kenmore, check the computer to see if there’s any record of the Sojourn being shifted in time.

Tucker: ::he turned back to his console, inputting commands:: All stop, Aye Commander.

Bail entertained himself as best he could as the runabout sauntered towards the old styled Starfleet vessel.  Bail remembered seeing one like it in a historical holo years ago but that one had several notable differences; it was on fire, it was missing a nacelle and it had some be-mullet-ed madman quoting a terrible old story from Earth he'd never bothered reading.  In contrast this one was fairly boring.  

Bail:  Don't you have faith in your fellow Starfleet people?  I'm sure they're just fine over there, doing...whatever it is you normally do.  Leave well enough alone, that's what Gaudemus Bail always says, isn't that right Mr. Sm'uf...oh right, he's passed out.  Speaking of...Doctor, he's not dead is he?  I'd hate to have to hire new help.  

Kel/Maverick: Response

Raga: Doc, how’s mister Sm’uf?

Kel: Response

Bail shrugged and settled more deeply into his very pleasant drunken stupor.  

Raga: Good. Any chance that we might be able to duplicate what happened to Captain Bail’s first mate to get us back to wherever we were?

Bail:  Oh just give him a good kick in the side, Doctor, that's what I always do.  

Kel/Maverick: Response

Tucker: ::turning to the commander: Alright here’s what we know from the deep scans. The ship itself seems to be for the most part undamaged, practically brand new off-the-line ship. The warp core is offline, the main computer offline, and life-support on tertiary power. Life signs are minimal, I there are at least 10 crew aboard. And if I’m reading it right, the Sojourn phases every twenty-five minutes, give or take two minutes.

The man in charge began pacing as Gaudemus began tapping at random buttons on his console, giggling slightly to himself at the various bleeps and blorts the computer errored back at him.  

Raga: Alright, the priority is to ensure the Kushiro is back up to as full a readiness as we can get her. Mister Tucker, damage report and assessment. ::He stopped beside Maverick’s chair:: Ensign Kenmore, how’re the tactical systems?

Tucker: ::he transferred the information into a padd:: As far as we go, the only thing wrong really is the shields need some work. The emitter was fine, but we must replace a few ISO chips to return it to one hundred percent. Luckily I brought some with me, so it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.

Bail shook his head again and turned his attention towards the young man.  

Bail:  Oh sure, you pack that but not a single snack?!  Where are your priorities?  ::Bail turned his attention back towards the Admiral::  Tell you what my good sir, why don't you just turn the conn over to me.  Gaudemus Bail, skilled pilot, well known master navigator, at your disposal!  I'll get us back to where and when we need to be without so much as a bump!  

Gaudemus had no idea how he'd accomplish any of that but he felt quite confident he could for no reason in particular.  

Kel/Maverick: Response

Raga: All due respect Captain Bail; I would sooner trust a Klingon with my ship.

Bail puffed up with indignation and turned a sullen scowl towards his quiescent first mate.  

Tucker: ::trying not to cough:: Uh, this is a bit more fried than I thought. When we boosted the shields with backup power, it caused the iso chips to fuse. I can’t do much until we return to the Ronin and a shuttle tech looks this over and makes heads or tails.

The waft of melted composite gave Bail a fond, if odd, memory of the Delight.  He still couldn't quite believe it was gone although he was trying quite hard.  

Tucker: ;;looking at the imposing figure of the XO from the deck:: These chips are fused. I can boost the deflector dish to give us some cover, but this thing needs to see the inside of a repair bay back on the Ronin.

As everyone's attention was focused on the damage to the ship Gaudemus ambled over to the containment device they had his first mate in and began pushing buttons at random.  

Bail:  Wake up you goldbricking Andorian layabout, someone around here needs to do...

Gaudemus had no idea what he was tapping or what it was intended to do but the containment field surrounding his first officer crackled, vanished and a heartbeat later the same blinding light filled the cabin, searing his eyes once again.  Bail stumbled back from the medical bed and did his best to look entirely innocent as he wagged an accusatory finger and mostly empty bottle towards the unconscious Andorian.  

Bail:  What have you done this time, Mr. Sm'uf?!  We're guests here!

The Starfleet people scrambled, shoving him aside in their haste to return to their stations and shooting him a number of less than friendly looks.  He chose to ignore all of them.  

Kel/Maverick/Bail/Tucker: Response

From one of the consoles near the front of the ship a voice crackled across a static filled commline.  

Bader: =/\= Valkyrie...engaging Sheliak...cover..ordered to...rendezvous...coordinates follow....=/\=

Gaudemus glanced towards the ceiling and wondered what fresh hell this would be.  

Bail:  Another friend of yours, Admiral?  

Kel/Maverick/Bail/Tucker: Response

Bail put his hands up in frustration, unsure why he was so often on the receiving end of such vitriol, and leaned back in his chair.  Within a minute the empty bottle rolled out of his fingers and onto the deck as he began loudly snoring, certain the Starfleet people would wake him if they were all about to die again.  

Tags/End Act 2 for Bail!  

Gaudemus Bail
Former Owner & Operator
S.S. Sabrina's Delight


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