Popular Post Serala Posted September 13, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2022 (edited) I'm not sure who to credit for these comedic computer responses, but based on the OOC, I suspect it was @Noa T'Nessa Levinson. But @Esa_Darkkdust did a great job too. Well done overall! ((OOC: I’d like to personally thank Noa for finding the most random responses to my queries so that I could scramble them.)) ((Computer Core Main Access, Deck 12, USS Chin’toka)) While not normally her area of responsibility as Operations Chief, she had been involved with several of the major updates to the computer system Starfleet periodically issued since the Chin’toka’s launch. Naturally, when the latest update had crossed her desk, mere hours after arriving back on board, she’d simply picked up the job of installing it and ensuring it ran correctly and continued on her merry way. This was her first mistake. In the small print, at the end of the update readme, were the words “Do not use in conjunction with Bio-Neural Gel Pack Revision 13.1”. These words fell by the wayside as Esa set about installing the update, which completed, seemingly successfully. Now, hours later, she was laying flat on her back, tools in hand, buried under looms of cabling from the inside of the main computer access panel as she attempted to correct her mistake. Kiax: Computer, status report. Computer: Contest of Fedevision Betazed. Song winner 2394 is the ::uncomfortably long pause:: The Esa punched the underside of the console. Kiax: Stupid machine! As expected, the computer was still broken. The update had scrambled the core’s AI speech recognition and vocalisation subroutines, causing it to simply reply with, effectively, unrelated gibberish. Despite attempting to uninstall the update and subsequently performing a system-wide rollback, the error had persisted – requiring a manual fix. Which, by every account, was incredibly frustrating. If it wasn’t fixed before the end of the Captain’s sanctioned shore leave period, they’d have to end up in drydock, and Esa was not about to be responsible for that level of delay. She wiped a blackened-with-dirt hand across her sweat covered brow, leaving a streak across her forehead, and set about recalibrating the circuits once more. As she poked and prodded, she kept talking to the computer, much like a brain surgeon would with a patient, to ensure that whatever she did didn’t cause any unintentional side effects. Kiax: Computer, count from one to three. Computer: high cheese, tomatoes, is of ingredients, oven. origin dough a usually and in temperature, round, wood-fired other a Pizza Italian then a consisting various baked topped wheat-based of a flat often base at is leavened with which of traditionally dish oO Good lord. It’s completely lost its marbles. Oo Esa sighed, and continued working. Minutes turned into hours, and before she knew it, it was almost time for a duty shift swap. This problem needed fixing, and it needed fixing now. Kiax: Computer, are you okay? Computer: Please question the restate... She paused, and quirked an eyebrow. Kiax: Computer, can you tell me where we are? Computer: Beta Par'tha, Quadrant Expanse Well, at least it was now understanding the questions… But the sentences were still scrambled. A couple more tweaks with the processing matrix and things, she supposed, should be back to normal. Kiax: Computer, is the comms system functioning correctly? Computer: thin made tin. also is Tin spelled tinfoil, of a foil, foil Or not. As the case may be. Assuming that was, in fact, an affirmation of the comms system being active, she tapped her combadge and hoped for the best. With nothing but the usual active line chirp, Esa sighed with relief and spoke. Kiax: Commander Kiax to Ensigns One Zero One and Zero Zero Zero? 101 & 000: Response Kiax: I’m down in the main computer core access and… Well, I’ve uhh… ::Beat:: I’ve broken it. We’ve not met, but I hear you’re quite competent with electronics and programming… Care to help me get the old girl back to fighting form? 101 & 000: Response Kiax: Acknowledged, Kiax out. Well, at least there was hope. In the mean time, however… A few more tweaks… Kiax: Computer, what is the current stardate? Computer: majority letter of the in the these are languages The not Q from English, English not English In followed are anglicised usually Hebrew, letter Chinese, by the is sound a some found other alphabet, or Inuktitut, but exceptions. Q do representing there with Arabic, use that U, Yeah… She should wait for the experts… Lieutenant Commander Esa Kiax Chief Operations Officer USS Chin’toka – NCC 97187 A239511ED0 Edited September 13, 2022 by Jaelyne Isa 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment
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