Ensign Y'zyr - Death, Please Take Me Now

[Alora DeVeau]

Oh man, @Ashley Yael had me laughing out loud with this one.  HILARIOUS.

 

((Science Lab - Starbase 118 Ops))

 

Geoff:  That’s good to hear!  YOU HAVE A GREAT FACE!

 

The sense of dread filled the Trill as he felt Geoff’s small weight shift and shove off strategically, and he tried to reach up to grab him before he could complete the maneuver…

 

And with horror, he failed.

 

Geoff briskly leapt the small distance between them with a trilling warriors cry, and screamed in his little mechanical voice as he joyfully and energetically attached to DeVeau’s face.  He completed the motion with the fervor of a dedicated zealot practicing his craft, his little arms wrapping around to her ears and clasping in her hair, his trilling cry lasting long after he’d completed the jump.

 

Everything inside Ozai seemed to seize up in that moment as Geoff landed smack center in Commander DeVeau’s face, and she wrenched backward in the panic that would fill *anyone* with a giant attacking spider bot on their face.  Her arms flailed in a failed attempt to avoid, then in an attempt to dislodge, the psychotic spider bot on her face.

 

He set his hands to his face, covering his eyes in a moment of pure horror.  He knew Geoff wouldn’t *hurt* her, but… this face grabbing business was no good.  No good at all.  The Trill split his cybernetic fingers to see the Commander coming to the realization she wasn’t being harmed, lifting her arms with more direct purpose, and pulling Geoff off her face.

 

Thankfully, the spider bot released his grip without fighting.  He popped free, letting go of a few strands of hair last as she extended her arms to full length, holding Geoff like she might a delicate explosive.  She set both eyes on the spider bot, his having gotten her full attention.

 

Which was probably the point of the face grabbing, aside bragging rights, Ozai figured.

  

DeVeau:  What the heck!?

 

Ozai didn’t say anything.  Instead, he covered his eyes again, almost like he could ostrich himself away from what had happened.  He wanted to curl up in a corner and just die from embarrassment.

 

Geoff hung there in her hands, his bulgy body firmly held in place.  His lower four legs dangled delicately, his other four perched carefully on her wrists, naturally holding on without digging in his claws.  He set his multiple pairs of eyes on her, little lights glowing as he looked at her… and she looked at him.

 

It was a staring contest for a moment as she processed what he was, as well as she could, after having been startled.

 

Ozai uncovered his eyes when he heard the squeal… at first he thought it was another scream, and that Geoff was doing something even worse.  But he realized quickly it was *delight.*  Delight?!  After that?!

 

DeVeau: Oh my gosh, what *is* this?

 

She proceeded to try and answer that for herself but turning it around and over and upside down.  And then it spoke again.

 

Geoff:  Hey, hey!  I have an *up* side, ya’ know!  *Rude* much?

 

He sent a single claw tip into the air and pumped it a few times, as if to admonish her, but he didn’t sound upset.  He was a robot.  Robots really couldn’t get upset, unless they were programmed to.  Geoff was just being Geoff… bombastic to the core.

 

Ozai extended a hand in what might have been a polite maneuver under normal circumstances, forward slightly before him, palm up, and raising it ever so slightly as if to say “here it is.”

 

Y’zyr:  Commander DeVeau… this is Geoff… my assistive spider-bot…

 

His tone was one of defeat, and he didn’t look up for a moment… until there was another squeal of delight.  Was that right?  That couldn’t be right.

 

DeVeau: Oh my gosh, he’s ADORABLE!

 

Geoff:  ::beaming, his little eyes lighting up::  I know.  I’m an adorable scamp!

 

Y’zyr:  I can take him, if you want me-

 

He was interrupted as he tried to accept Geoff back.  He was going into damage control mode, so she took him by surprise with the barrage of questions.

 

DeVeau: Tell me more about him!  Is he…are you…fully mechanic?  Or do you have organic matter as well? Are you a cyborg?  I have some cyborg spider friends.  I bet Sheba would *love* you.  Either that or eat you…

 

Geoff squiggled a little in her hands, raising two clawed tips above his mandible level now.

 

Geoff:  I don’t know who this Sheba is, but I bet I’d *like* her.

 

Y’zyr:  He’s, umm… ::blinking in shock and trying to recover:: … He’s fully mechanical.  I built him.  I’m… still working on his programming.  He’s quick, and can fit places I can’t… and he really likes grabbing faces… I’m so sorry about that, ma’am.  … Wait… you know cyborg spiders…?

 

Confusion was the name of the game now.  He’d expected a swift dismissal from Star Fleet, and he got someone who knew *cyborg spiders*?  

 

DeVeau:  ?

 

Y’zyr:  He’s gotten a few people now.  I don’t know *why* he does it, exactly.  None of my personality mods seem to stop him doing it.

 

Geoff reached out both his top legs, long and scraggly as they were, reaching for Alora’s face again almost romantically.

 

Geoff:  You’re number three on my list, but number one in my heart, baby.

 

Then he moved his mandibles and made an audible *SMOOCH* sound.

 

And Ozai’s posture sank, his eyes falling to the floor as he willed his katra to leave his body and just let him die in peace, hands rubbing his face above his mask level.

 

DeVeau:  ?

 

Y’zyr:  ::quietly, he reached out to take Geoff, if she wanted::  You can give him to me, if you want… I swear he’s harmless.

 

To all but his pride.

 

Geoff:  Aww, don’t be like that!  You made *me* and I’m a work of art.  ::he tapped a claw on DeVeau’s wrist as if to get her attention::  Have you *seen* his crochet skills?  MAD.  If you’re lucky, someday I’ll show you my pajamas.

 

DeVeau:  ?

 

Geoff:  For now though, we just need to find *this* guy... ::he arched one claw-tipped foot back toward Ozai::... a cute cyborg to date!  So... do you know any cybabes?  Who aren't spiders?  ::Geoff then fake-whispered loudly to Alora::  I think he prefers two-legged, bipedal species.

 

Death, please take him now.

 

DeVeau:  ?

 

~*~

Ensign Ozai Y’zyr

Tactical & Security

Starbase 118 Ops

C238211TZ0

 

 

[Sal Taybrim]

You beat me to it!  Freakin’ hilarious.

 

 

[Nestira Aristren]

I was just about to post this one 😇 I love Geoff