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Dr Tarna & Iria - The pain of rejection


Maxwell Traenor
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((Iria's Shuttle - Deep Space))

Tarna: Please don’t get upset. Iria you are a wonderful person and I greatly value our friendship. I’m certain you will find love but it won’t be with me. I’m sorry but I just don’t see that changing.

::Was he patronizing him now? The little ember of anger ignited and exploded in her chest at what seemed to be an offhanded remark. She began to squeeze her fists trying to somehow keep her temper intact. The words from her psych eval came tickled the back of her mind. "Iria is a high functioning psychopath with a tendency towards violence". Violence sounded so good right now.::

Iria: ::angrily:: Excuse me? You saved my life. You sent me PICTURES and you don't love me? 

::Janel’s mouth opened and closed a few times as the bewildered Trill struggled to decide what to say next. Things were very rapidly escalating and that made him very nervous indeed. He knew he had to remain calm, speak gently and try to descalate the situation. He did not feel he had led her on and was shocked that she took these two things as a sign of love. He didn’t want to seem callous but when he had saved her life he had just been following order, he had just been doing his job. There had been many people on the radiation flooded deck that needed evacuating and he had saved as many of them as he possibly could, including her. As for the rest, that had been a simple gesture of friendship and nothing more. Now was probably not a good time to correct her and point out that he had actually only sent one picture… Probably this was just an honest sli of the tongue brought about by frustration and the last thing he wanted to do was add to it.::

Tarna: I saved a lot of lives that day Iria. That’s what doctors do. I sent you the picture as a gesture of friendship. Because I thought you might like something to make your quarters a little more like home… They were two acts of kindness but that does not equate love.

::The swirl of anger and hatred began to poke at her mind as the reason for his apparent lack of interest. How could she have been so blind? It had to be that other woman keeping him hostage from her!::

Iria: It's Rosek, isn't it! She's convinced you to stay with her. That's it, isn't it? :: growling:: I'll KILL her! 

::Janel had loved Rosek like no other but the circumstances in which they had met, the things they had endured together and the drugs that had coursed through his system. It had been hard to figure out how much of his emotions had been his own and how many had formed due to the emotion enhancing drugs and dire circumstances. He had been heartbroken when he had been transferred. He had been suspicious that the counselor, thinking their relationship unhealthy, had brought it about to break the two of them up. He couldn’t prove that though and though his heart still ached for her he was getting over her. He definitely wasn’t looking for love right now and just wanted to figure out what to do now that joining was out of the question. In some ways he’d got his life back. He didn’t have to follow a plan set by others, he didn’t have to jump through endless hoops in pursuit of a goal that mattered more to his family than himself. He could do the things he was passionate about and figure out what he wanted from life. He felt panic that Iria would threaten to kill her as she had proven to be dangerous in the past.::

Tarna: You can’t do that!!! Rosek and I are no longer a couple. She has moved on. She has nothing to do with this at all. 

((8 Months Ago - Ensign Lael Rosek's Quarters - USS Victory))

Rosek: ::laughs:: I meant are we dating or what?

::Janel scratched his cheek and considered it. Given everything that had happened he probably should have been avoiding making any commitments. Of course he wasn’t exactly thinking about the fact his decision making processes could be completely skewed right now and dating didn’t sound too bad though. He reasoned that it was hardly as big a commitment as marriage and it spoke to him of the getting to know you stage. That was what he wanted.::

Tarna: What do you want to do? Dating sounds good to me.

Rosek: ::brushes her lips against his:: Sounds good to me, too. Oh! ::grabs a PADD from her bedside table:: This is for you.

Tarna: Oh?

::He took the PADD and sat himself more upright so he could get a good look at its contents. He couldn’t imagine what was on here that had her looking so pleased with herself.::

Rosek: ::grins:: It's a letter to the Symbiosis Committee.

Tarna: Huh?

Rosek: I contacted my friend, Alva, when we got back and she agreed to look at your service record and write a letter recommending you for joining.

::Janel was totally blown away and found it hard to believe there was anything in his short career of 8 months only that would impress Alva, much less the symbiosis commission. In fact one could almost argue that each mission had gone more badly than the one before. By that logic he needed to hand in his resignation immediately. Furthermore, the Commission were expecting progress on the research project he’d undertaken while in his final year at the Academy, and shamefully he’d made no progress on it due to duty and time constraints. He read the contents of the PADD through several times.::

Tarna: Wow! Thanks so much, this really means so much to me! 

Rosek: ::smiles:: I thought it might.

Tarna: There must be something I can do for you by way of thanks?

Rosek: Keep yourself out of trouble and that'll be thanks enough.

((END FLASHBACK ))

::Fear coursed through her mind mixing with the rage that boiled within. He was lying to protect her now? How could she have been so blind not to see that he was only using her! Iria's mind was a mess of conflicting emotions with one side trying to convince her that it was all a big misunderstanding, but drowned out by the scream of the other.::

Iria: Liar! She's making you say that! I've seen the way she looks at you!

::Rosek had been the one to call it off with him. Having a long distance relationship wasn’t fulfilling enough for her and she had needed to be able to move on. Janel could understand that even if it hurt. He was jealous of the fact she had seemed to move on so easily. She had found someone else whereas he was still struggling to move on and find himself. He wished she still looked at him like that because nowadays they barely kept in touch as friends.::

Tarna: Not any more she doesn’t. Even if she did it wouldn’t change my decision. Can we go back to the outpost now, please?

:: Through all the noise of her mind and the swirling emotions of devastation and hatred, the through hit her like a icy bolt of clarity. Tarna did not love her. Tears welled up in her eyes as sorrow washed over her. She had made a fool of herself, the man never had any interest in her. Iria arms drooped to her side as he tried to calm her. ::

Iria: oO He doesn't love me. Oo

::It snapped. One could almost say they heard it, but a dark warm feeling flooded through Iria and her eyes grew cold with hatred and despair. A feeling that she had not felt since she fought and killed alongside her father Nugra. The hatred, the rage, that outright despair choked her. She flew forward with a scream of rage and struck him three times in the chest with her fist screeching.::

Iria: You. WILL. LOVE. ME!!!

::He looked stunned and then down at his chest. Iria's eyes followed his and the haze of violent emotion evaporated and the three growing circles of red on his chest. Janel's face blanched white and he stumbled back. Iria looked down at her left wrist and saw that the hidden blade that she always wore there was fully extended and dripping red. The young Myrivan murderess caught him in his arms as he fell sickness sweeping through her. What had she done? What in the name of all things innocent had she done?::

Iria: ::screeching:: NO! NO! NOOOO!!!

::She pressed hard on the wounds trying to force the life blood back in, but her hands quickly became coated in the slick liquid.::

Iria: ::agony:: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  

::Filled with the most intense pain he had ever felt Janel could no longer stand, he could hardly form a coherent though. Life was fading from him  fast and he knew his time had come. There was no chance for goodbyes. He was already dead to his family - his mother having told the rest of his friends and family he was dead, told him never to return to Trill or contact any of them again. He had failed. He had failed to earn the love and respect of his family. His mother would surely feel relieved that she no longer had to worry about him coming back to spite her and expose her lies. He’d long imagined that even were he stood right in front her her she would deny his existence, claiming him to be an imposter rather than admit her own son was not fit for joining. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes and he was filled with sadness and regret. No one would mourn his loss. He had followed someone else’s dream all these years and now it was over.::

Tarna: ::Weakly:: I’m sorry.

::Iria scooted back from the now lifeless eyes of her love. She clutched her fists to her chest wide eyed in horror. He was gone. Janel Tarna was gone. Stopping as her back came flat with the shuttle hull, she gaped dumbfounded. Iria, Daughter of Nugra, had murdered him.::


PNPC Iria
As Simmed By…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colonel Nugra
Marine Commanding Officer
USS Doyle-A, NCC-80221-B
Podcast Team Facilitator
Deputy Commandant
Captain's Council Magistrate
V238008N10
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                   & 


=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=/\=
PNPC Lt Janel Tarna - Outpost Unity Medical Officer
Simmed by:-
Fleet Captain Renos
* Commanding Officer, USS Darwin
* Executive Council & Captain's Council Member
* Cadet Steward
=/\=/\=/\= A238805EB0 =/\=/\=/\=

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