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Cmdr Thomas Prendar & LT JG Jerome Milsap - We Shouldn't Even


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(( Interrogation Room - Deck 28 - USS Constitution-B ))

:: Thomas Prendar loved the initial quiet of the interrogation room. It was a solid gray room, with no windows (as a nearby holo-projector provided security a view in) and there was simply two chairs facing each other. Prendar especially had the table removed so that his next interrogation had nothing between him and the SFI officer to subconsciously hide behind. ::

:: The door shifted open and he saw Lieutenant JG Jerome Milsap enter. ::

Prendar: Mister Milsap. Please have a seat.

:: Jerry stepped uncertainly to the empty chair, taking in the surroundings as he did. It certainly fit the general idea of an interrogation room. He sat down and reached for the banjo slung across his back. ::

:: Thomas’ eyebrows slowly went up as he saw the banjo on the man’s back and that he was reaching for it. ::

Prendar: oO What...the...hell? Oo

Milsap: Don’t mind if I do.

:: He waited for the man to sit down, but before he could get situated, Prendar barked out his first question. ::

Prendar: So, do you want confess now or give me a hard time and confess later?

:: Jerry jumped in his seat, shock written across his face. ::

Milsap: All right, all right! I’ll talk!

Prendar: Good. Talk!

:: Jerry pulled the banjo from his back in cradled it over his knee, hanging his head with a shamed expression. ::

:: It took every ounce of control the man had not to burst into laughter. He had thought he saw everything, but this proved him wrong. ::

Milsap: I...I snuck a kiss from Charlotte Mason in third grade. ::He looked up earnestly.:: But only once!

Prendar: ::chuckling and looking at the PADD. :: You sure? The file says twice.

Milsap: You know, I thought it seemed odd for SFI to come all this way just for that. So what is this about?

Prendar: It’s about your mission. I need you to explain to me why you violated the Temporal Prime Directive.

Milsap: ::nodding:: Now that makes more sense. I imagine you want to make sure we didn’t mess anything up back then.

Prendar: Make sure? Oh, I know you screwed things up. I want to find out who is responsible and deal with them.

Milsap: Good, that’s why I brought Mariah here. ::He gingerly patted the top of the banjo.:: She’s gonn help me tell you exactly what went on. Now let’s see…I believe I’ll call it “We Shouldn’t Even Be Here”.

::Jerry cleared his throat, picked up the banjo and started strumming a lively bluegrass melody, bobbing his head in time. When the melody cycled through and began again he started in with some lyrics. ::


Well, the Constitution was a-makin' her rounds, surveyin' Talos, seein' what could be found

When she ran into somethin' we'd never seen before (well, most of us anyway).

It chewed her up and spat her out at Earth, and though we had our doubts

We found ourselves on the eve of the first world war.

At first the only thing we knew was that we had to get back through

But the first trip darn near broke Ol' Conny's back.

Then we learned things down below weren't goin' the way they's supposed to go

And someone had to get history back on track.

We traveled through a hole in space and wound up back in time

And only we know how to set things right, for what it's worth.

We shouldn't even be here, but seein' as we are

We might as well do what we can to fix things down on Earth.

The warp drive doesn't run on dreams so we split the crew up into teams

To patch things up before the core was spent.

One went to China to find supplies and they managed to do it, to no one's surprise

But I wasn't there, so you'd have to ask them how it went.

Now, Starfleet says "Don't interfere!" and that's easy to say when you're safe back here

But in a situation like ours, well whadda ya do?

Can't call for help, no ships to be found, all we could do was either beam folks down

Or just orbit the moon for a century or two.

Ol' Connys in some dire shape, her life is fadin' fast

Her hull is gonna break up and her power's gonna drain.

We shouldn't even be here, but seein' as we are

Instead of whinin' that she's broke, let's make her run again!

:: Jerry stopped his strumming and leaned in toward Prendar. ::

Milsap: Now here’s where I come in.

:: He winked and picked up the melody again.


I was nervous as a man can be when Danzia, Rajel, T'Mar and me

Beamed down just as the war was set to begin.

I never learned what was to blame but somethin' threw off the transporter's aim

And we wound up pretty darn far from Berlin.

We saw a horseman nearly die, he turned out to be this Princip guy

Who played a major part in those events.

We knew we had to fix his head and get him in a biobed

So up into the ship's sickbay he went.

The medics made sure he was stable and sedated him so he wasn't able

To recall any details 'bout the place.

And it must have worked 'cause last I looked there weren't no mention in the history book

Of Princip bein' beamed up into space.

Just when we thought we had it made the Kaiser showed up for a parade,

We had to make it so he stayed away.

We slipped a potion in his food and at the risk of sounding crude

It kept him on the crapper all next day.

We found a glitch in history that just might stop the Earth

Becoming Federation in a couple hundred years.

We shouldn't even be here, but seein' as we are

We'll fix things up so no one even knows that we were here.

:: Jerry thought about the rumors he'd heard on his way to the interview. He'd picked up on the words "Rajel" and "confined" and could pretty much guess the intelligence officers were giving Jalana a raw deal, likely with others not far behind. Now that he was near the end of the story, he scrounged up the indignation he'd been suppressing and channeled it into the song, adding a subtle edge to the final verses. ::

Of course we never planned to go, we didn't have much say in it, though

And we might wish someone else had fit the bill

But let me ask you something brother, wish in one hand and crap in the other

And you tell me which one's the first to fill!

Goin' back in time? Y'all might forbid it, but the present's whole because we did it

And I can't see anything that we did wrong.

If Rajel and the crew'd just let things be, you wouldn't be sittin' across from me

And I wouldn't be here to pick out this here song!

But SFI is puttin' Constitution's crew on trial,

Why don't we lay this nonsense inquisition down to rest?

We shouldn't even be here, but seein' as we are

Let's just agree that everything has worked out for the best.

Instead of puttin' Jalana in jail, y'all should thank her for savin' your tail!

It's 'cause of her that everything has worked out for the best!

:: As the last strains of the banjo and singing faded in the empty, gray colored room. Prendar just stared at the man. Finally, he spoke. ::

Prendar: Get out, Mister Milsap. Now.

Milsap: ::smiling:: Don’t mind if I do.

:: Jerry grabbed his banjo by the neck and sauntered to the door. He didn’t know if his performance actually helped anyone, but he was confident he’d at least done what he could to clear up the situation. ::


Joint Post By….

Commander Thomas Prendar

Lead Investigator

Starfleet Intelligence

As Simmed by…


Colonel Nugra

Marine Commanding Officer

USS Doyle-A, NCC-980221-B

Deputy Commandant

Captain's Council Magistrate




Lieutenant JG Jerome Milsap

Assistant Chief Medical Officer

USS Constitution-B


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