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Atan T'Seva

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    90
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Atan T'Seva last won the day on April 6

Atan T'Seva had the most liked content!

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About Atan T'Seva

  • Rank
    Holier-than-Thou Poster
  • Birthday 09/04/1973

Fleet information

  • Current Vessel
    USS Constitution
  • Current Post
    Chief of Tactical

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450 profile views
  1. Before I start...all of the entries this round were pretty good. I had a tough time choosing! So, some critiques: Homecoming by Andrus Jaxx I really liked this. Great sense of dread, nice twist at the end. I would, however, make a couple of suggestions. One is purely formatting. Those huge paragraphs make the story hard to read, try to break it up more next time. Also, the ending, whilst a great twist, was not entirely satisfying. Is anything left of Earth? I want to say no, but it's neither stated nor implied. But overall, good. Well crafted, well written, good in terms of being in theme. I e
  2. Feedback for "Sugar, Spice, Grit and Steel" by Toni Turner A good, clean submission and a very interesting concept. However, I would have liked to have seen more of an actual story. I did see a few typos here, but nothing that affected the meaning of words or made it hard to read. The real problem is that nothing really changed...even if it was good to see somebody get his comeuppance, it left me a little less than satisfied. Your descriptions, though, are lovely...keep that up.
  3. Feedback for "Saving Grace" by Jackford B. Kolk This was an interesting take on the theme, although I think others may have addressed it more directly. Jackson, instead, chose to look at how a little girl was changed by events beyond her control. It was nice to see a clean submission with no mistakes or typoes that I could see. My one criticism is that there were some run-on sentences (Something I have to watch for in my own work). I suggest reading a story out loud; if you cannot finish a sentence without taking a breath, it is probably too long. However, this was a story that I genuinely enj
  4. "The Missing Statue" - by Danzia Lt. Commander Lyn Taylor had a headache. Actually, she had about a hundred headaches. One of them was currently leaning across her desk, his huge ears about six inches from her face. "I want this investigated. And I want it investigated by an actual security officer, not somebody's fee-male!" Laruk was leaning on the desk, totally getting in her personal space. He was wearing some kind of cologne that was probably pleasant...to a Ferengi. Whoever the heck had thought it was smart to assign a female as chief of security on Deep Space 17... It happened to lie on
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