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Lt JG T'Mar & PNPC Lt JG Zage Bolani - Taming of the Shrew


Landau

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((T’Mar’s Quarters, USS Apollo))

::As the Betazoid man moved into her quarters, he smiled slightly. He took his seat on the floor and looked toward her as she lit the candles. He could almost sense the emotions in her raging like a summer storm. There was something much different about her than standard issue Vulcans. It was almost as if there was a [...] holding back everything, but it was leaking. He was not sure about how she was able to suppress her emotions as well as those from others around her. Being a Vulcan with empathic abilities, no matter how small, was a difficult thing to imagine.::

::T’Mar lit her candles then sat down across from Zage. She looked at him in the eye, wondering why he was so willing to help her. She was thankful, but at the same time worried. When she was around him, her emotions were harder to suppress. She could only hope that these lessons would help her control that.::

T’Mar: Where shall we begin?

Bolani: Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.

T’Mar: ::Raising an eyebrow:: Alright..

::Immediately, she closed her eyes and straightened her back, her hands in her lap and her shoulders back. It was a position she often was in when she meditated throughout the day. She began breathing in deeply through her nose, her chest rising, she held it for a moment then breathing out through her nose. As she relaxed, she let her wall drop that attempted to block out others’ emotions. For a moment she thought she sensed attraction from Zage, but she tossed it aside, figuring she was sensing someone else.::

::As she closed her eyes, Zage glanced at her demeanor. He wanted to look for physical signs of stress and tension. Occasionally, he would catch himself admiring her features. It was something he would not dare be caught doing. As she drew her breaths one by one, he watched as she started to center. Closing his eyes, he began projecting a sense of calm as best as he could. His empathic abilities were good, but far from strong. He wondered if she was able to sense his feelings.::

Bolani: Are you able sense where your feelings start, and where mine begin?

T’Mar: I..

::She hesitated, afraid to prod and sense Zage’s feelings. She decided to just let it all go for the moment. It was not logical, of course, but an empathic Vulcan was biologically not logical! She stopped forcing the suppression her own emotions, which allowed her to sense Zage’s as well. With her mental walls down, she now had a better focus the feelings that she sensed from others. She found it almost exhilarating for a moment::

T’Mar: Yes. I do!

::With his eyes closed he listened intently. Until now, he was not sure how much of her feelings she allowed to surface. She was an odd creature to watch while on duty. Some moments we was as Vulcan as Vulcan could be. In other moments, her emotions were like a ray of sunshine barely shining through the clouds.::

Bolani: Tell me what you can decipher.

T’Mar: Well.. I sense that my behaviour confuses you and.. ::She focused and once again sensed feelings of lust, which amused her:: nevermind. ::Suddenly T’Mar was afraid. She had never been so open with her feelings. She felt herself wanting to suppress her own emotions again. It had been so long since she had fully acknowledged her own feelings. She opened her eyes and looked at Zage.:: You will keep all of this private, correct?

Bolani: ::smiling:: Of course. What happens behind the walls of this room will remain in this room.

::He thought for a moment about their location. If she were Human, or any other species it might have sounded like he was hitting on her, but given the situation it was a completely benign comment. Keeping their interactions private was his top priority. In the end, it would only help her develop things. At some point if she no longer wanted to sense the emotions of others, he could teach her to drown it out. At the same time, he could teach her to really be in tune with what is going on around her.::

T’Mar: I know. Thank you. I just.. I do not feel comfortable showing emotions around others. It’s not logical... but I know that this is necessary.

::For a moment, she wanted to hold his hand. She yearned for comfort. She then thought about the Vulcan she had been bonded with as a child. She never spoke of him, because she barely remembered him. He was a scientist and the last she had heard, he was on a ship studying dark matter. He would never comfort her. He would never understand what it is like to struggle with emotions. They should have been married by now, but neither one of them had been able to make it to a ceremony due to their duties. As far as she was concerned, she would never marry the cold man.::

::Then she thought of Zage. He understood empathy and feelings in general. Perhaps, though, he didn’t fully understand her Vulcan side..::

::Zage could sense her discomfort. It was akin to the feeling one would get doing anything for the first time. He remembered the first time he went skiing. He was so worried he would fall in the snow and tumble down the hill. He recalled how awkward he felt, but it did not last very long. Sure he fell from time to time, but he was able to get right back up. By the time he was done with his first trip, he could not wait to go back and do it again. After years of skiing, he was pretty good at it. Most things in life were like that.

Bolani: Good. Now, broaden your focus to reach out into the corridor. Anyone out there walking by? Do you sense anything?

::T’Mar broadened her focus and was overwhelmed with many emotions belonging to many people in the surrounding quarters. She found it hard to distinguish at first, but she forced herself to focus on the corridor.::

T’Mar: I sense someone.. they are stressed, worried about something.

Bolani: Now, very quickly, focus on yourself. What are you feeling right now?

::It was a simple question. She needed to be able to quickly distinguish between the feelings of others and her own. Betazoids had a the gift to project emotions, and the burden of allowing the emotions of others affect them. He was wondering how she would be as she progressed. Vulcans and Betazoids are the polar opposites. He had no idea how someone in her family managed to procreate with a Betazoid. Of all the ways they were incompatible, it was odd and intriguing at the same time.::

::T’Mar tried to determine how she was feeling, but it went against everything she was taught. She wasn’t supposed to have emotions. Was she worried or was that the person in the corridor?::

T’Mar: I am uncertain how to answer. Why must I sense my own emotions? Should we not be focusing on others’?

Bolani: The more you focus the better reception you will get this early in your development. It is also important that you try to switch back to your own emotions, such as they are, as often as possible. This will help prevent you from sharing in the emotions of others. Think of it like being out of your body. The longer you are, the easier it will be to become involved in others. Focusing on yourself is a way to center yourself.

::Most species would be able to do this easily. Because Vulcans suppressed their emotions, it would be harder for her. She would have to embrace her own emotions and it would oddly go against what she did on a daily basis. It would take a toll on her throughout the day. Headaches would come, and she would have bouts of confusion and maybe even dizziness. There was not a lot of information on the Vulcan/Betazoid mix. With each one, it would likely be different. He was very curious how it would work for her.::

::T’Mar closed her eyes tightly and concentrated on herself, battling against her natural suppression. She had tried to drop that mental wall earlier, but subconsciously she had put it back up.. she put it back up because she had begun to feel emotions for her self.. and that had..::

T’Mar: Fear? ::She did not want to say it. Of all emotions, she always found fear to be the most illogical besides love. It was less that she has sensed it in herself, but more a logical conclusion. It seemed that she did not have much control over when she could sense and feel her own emotions and when they remained suppressed.::

Bolani: Fear of what?

::Zage could imagine what she was going through. It would be like asking Betazoids to stop sensing other feelings, or to only communicate verbally. It went against everything he was brought up to do, but it was necessary. He was surprised it was not done sooner in her life. She was fairly young for a Vulcan. The better handle she had on her abilities to sense other emotions, the better she would be able to suppress hers as well as those sensed, if that is what she chose to do. It was just...logical.::

T’Mar: I believe I am afraid of feeling... ::The room seemed to spin momentarily, but soon returned to normal. She blinked a few times to clear her eyes and her stomach churned a little.: ..of feeling emotions.

Bolani: Are you alright?

::The look on her face already answered the question. It was quite a bit for someone to deal with that had not faced their own emotions. Now, he was asking her to face the emotions of others, as well as her own. It was a big step and he wanted to know what she was capable of for their first session. She could stop at any time, they could take it slow...but he wanted to understand how much she would push herself, even more so since she admitted her fear.::

T’Mar: I am fine. oOPerhaps pride is another emotion to add on that list?Oo

Bolani: As long as you are certain. I know it is a lot and do not want you overdoing it.

::T’Mar took a deep breath::

T’Mar: I was a little dizzy, but I assure you that I am quite alright now. Please continue.

::The truth was, the only feeling she was certain of, was that she enjoyed Zage’s presence. It made her feel.. happy? No, content. She did not want him to leave.::

Bolani: Very well. Take that fear, and suppress it as you normally would and tell me how I am feeling.

::In that moment, he focused on his final days on the Crawford. It was not a happy point in his career, and when he got word...it did not please him. The more he thought of it, the more he was able to relive those feelings he felt as he left. It was a combination of anger and sadness. He had formed bonds with those he worked with and was not looking forward to leaving.::

::T'Mar suppressed her emotions and focused in Zage, this time envisioning it as a mind meld without physical contact. She felt...::

T'Mar: Anger. You are angry. ::She wondered what was making him feel enraged, but at the same time felt proud of herself for picking up on the emotion::

Bolani: Very good.

::Fast forwarding to his arrival on the Apollo, he thought of when he got his reassignment orders at the starbase. While he was not excited to leave the Crawford, he accepted it. When he found out he got the Apollo, he was actually excited to serve on the Achilles Class ship. It brought a sense of pride and happiness.::

::The anger melted away and new sensations overtook her. She was beginning to get the hang of this.::

T'Mar: Joy?

Bolani: Good.

::Before he could move on to the next question he continued on his train of thought, remembering the first time he thought he saw the corner of her mouth start to form a smile, and the moment his eyes traced over her features. He quickly realized that she was still focusing on him and his memories were betraying his purpose in her quarters. He found the Vulcan woman attractive, but he was not sure he would ever act on it. She was so different, and even though he was intrigued, they could be described as oil and water. He was curious how her grandparents did it. Even though he liked spending time with her and loved to see her struggle with the emotions of others, his initial instinct was attraction. There was something in her eyes that he had never seen in a Vulcan and it made it easier to forget that in the end...she was.::

::T’Mar was surprised by how quickly she was able to feel what Zage felt. She could only assume he was projecting the emotions stronger in order to help her along. She continued to focus and soon felt another emotion. She was not certain if it was her feelings or his, but they bombarded her system and she leaned in closer without thinking about it first.::

T'Mar: Attraction... ::she whispered, staring into his eyes. Logic had abandoned her as her abilities went into overdrive.::

::Zage widened his eyes. He was not trying to project his attraction for her, but she was able to pick up on it. It was a small feeling he had inside, and the Vulcan seemed to identify it quickly. He was not sure what to do next. He could have just played it off as him thinking of an old flame, but when dealing with an empath, it was easy to tell when they were not being honest. He could not think of anything to do but move one. He was worried about how she might take it. There was a lot to be said about the things that were never said. Neither confirming, nor denying he was feeling the attraction toward her, he nervously moved on.::

Bolani: ::nodding:: Yes. And now...

::T'Mar felt her heart pound and her blood rush to her cheeks, probably tinting them green.::

T'Mar: Nervous..

Bolani: I think you are getting pretty good at this.

::Looking into her eyes he paused. There was a look briefly in her eyes and it was one he shared. He realized that while she was learning quite a bit, they hit the ground running. He was winging it instead of planning out the different aspects. It made him nervous and concerned that he was feeling the attraction to her, and working with her empathic abilities at the same time. He felt the urge to drift his lips toward her, but fought it...knowing better. In one swift moment, he broke eye contact with her.::

::T'Mar suddenly pulled back, her logic taking over. she remained silent, unsure what to say::

Bolani: I uh...I think we had a good lesson. You are actually pretty good at this once you get started. It will be harder for you to suppress your emotions and be able to read others at the same time.

T’Mar: Indeed, I am noticing that..

::T’Mar began focusing on getting her emotions in check. She was not fond of that aspect of these sessions. At the same time, she was not sure what to make of what had just occurred.::

::Zage quickly stood up from the center of the room. He wanted to stay longer, but he could not afford the prolonged responses of his emotional state. Had she been any other species, he may not have shut down so quickly. He felt helpless, and as if his feelings were futile. He was not sure what he was doing, but he knew it needed to stop, at least until he had time to figure it out.::

Bolani: I think we can call it a night. It is getting late, and I do not want to impose...besides, the more you spend on it at one time, the more it can become blurry. ::smiling at her:: For what it is worth, I think you did a great job. I cannot wait until our next session, we will do it in the mess hall, or the Complex.

::His idea was to take the focus off of his feelings and put it onto someone else. Being an empath, he would be able to tell if her guess was right. That would keep his emotions out of the discussion, and he would try better to mask his attraction for her. It was the best way to help her and try to keep his feelings from her at the same time.::

::T’Mar blew out the candles and stood, looking at Zage.. not daring to sense his emotions, for fear that she may lose control again. Instead, she nodded at his suggestion, a tiny smile creeping in.::

T’Mar: I look forward to the session as well. You are indeed a talented instructor. Thank you..

::Moving to the door he turned around and gave her one last smile. He knew that he would need to see her in the morning when he came on duty. He was hoping he would not feel awkward. The last thing he needed was to have his personal feelings spill over to his work, but he knew enough to be able to prevent it from happening.::

Bolani: I will see you in the morning.

::T’Mar watched as he made his way to her door. A part of her wanted him to stay, the other knew it was not logical for many reasons.::

T’Mar: I will expect you to be on time, despite this late session.

::Turning Zage headed out of her quarters and off toward his. The entire trip he dwelled upon his feelings and the thoughts he was having in her quarters. He was not sure why they chose that moment to really surface. He thought that because he was trying to adapt his feelings through memories and at the same time focus on her...he just became over extended. It was a lot to handle on their first lesson, but in the end the benefits were greater than the drawbacks.::


::And he left. T’Mar suddenly felt so alone in her quarters. She changed into her pajamas, dwelling on the emotions that had surfaced in the session. How was it that she so easily became overwhelmed with attraction? Unless.. she was feeling it too. It only made sense. Except that it didn’t. She was a Vulcan, she shouldn’t be allowing herself to feel anything. She sat on her bed, still deep in thought, wondering what was going through Zage’s mind. As she laid down, she soon became aware that the session had worn her out more than she originally thought. She drifted off into sleep, wondering what their interaction would be like the next day..::

TBC


Lieutenant JG T’Mar
Chief Security Officer
USS Apollo, NCC-71669

&

PNPC Lieutenant JG Zage Bolani
Security Officer
USS Apollo, NCC-71669
as simmed by:

Fleet Captain Andrus Jaxx
Commanding Officer
USS Apollo, NCC-71669
Captains Council Magistrate

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