Heston

It was a white lie Russ thought about this and lit his cigar. He felt like a relic around all these new and high tech gadgets in the small shuttle's engine room. The warp reactor made a small glow that gave the room a weird luminescent blue. It also matched his mood. The donkey had it coming. I am not sorry about that. I am sorry for letting her go. Those thoughts pierced Russell’s head. He was feeling sorry for himself for the second time in his life. He rubbed the back of his head. He inhaled letting the smoke fill his lungs. He was thinking logically about something illogical. "The worst effing part of all this was, I could have called her anytime during my stint in the Klink. Anytime at all! Why didn't I? Why couldn't I?" He spoke this out loud as he stared at the warp core. He shook his head as the computer bleeped out something. It snapped him out of his thoughts. "Please restate request." The computer spoke in a pleasant sounding computer voice. Pleasant as a computer could get. But its voice was un-distinguishingly female. It made Russ sigh. The computer queried him to restate the request. "Never mind cancel request. ETA to Star base 72?" He asked this with almost apprehension. He did not like the idea of going there. He was not enjoying the thought of serving on a ship without a friend, without anybody he knew. That concept scared the hell out of him. "67 hours, 33 minutes and 18 seconds." The computer said. Russ could have sworn he heard a smarmy tone in its voice. But it didn’t matter. His own paranoia and guilt were eating at him. He had to go through the emotions of writing a letter to her. Or maybe tell the truth and confront his actions. This was something that always bugged him, He hated admitting that he was wrong, Or even confronting his failures. Because it forced him to look at the mess he had made of his life. It was something he truly, truly hated doing. "Computer begin recording the following message" He took another drag from the cigar of his. He let out a sigh and took a belt from a small flask he kept on him. He was nervous. It was not every day he tried to tell the truth. It wasn’t every day he could. The computer beeped. Russ began to record his message, It sounded odd as he began to record it. Though he hoped it was the thought that counted more then the message itself. It read: Turner, Look I am going to be the first to admit, You saw beyond the proverbial and habitual screw up that was and still is here. You were there for me and I was never there for you. Let you down, Left you without an answer. I told you I hit Sheridan. That much is true. That much is for certain, I didn’t like seeing you mistreated and I still don’t. I could have called you any time, I almost did twice. Why didn’t I? If I had to give you an answer, It would be because I don’t like you seeing me at my worst. Which is the case? But it’s not that, I dont feel like I deserve you or did deserve you. Re-training brought back every passion I ever had for you, and that’s a bad thing. See everybody expects me to be this horrific screw up or troublemaker. So I do my dance, play my part. But like Claudius, I gotta do it just enough to survive. I like to think I am deeper then the shallowness I cling to. I am glad you gave up on me though, Makes slinking under the rocks a whole hell of allot easier. But don't forget I love you. Always have Always will. Russ The computer said, "Message ready to Send to Lt.Cmdr. Turner." Those words felt like a nervous breakdown ready to bowl him over. Russ took another belt from his flask of Whiskey. He let out a drawn out sigh. There was only one thing worse then sending the letter, And he was about to do it. He spoke three words, Three words that would sum up another feeling he had. The feeling that she never could know, That she never should know. It was going to have to be a lie he could live with. Those three words summed up everything that he was feeling. He wanted to go away. He wanted the whole situation to go away. "Computer, delete message. Do not send." That was how he ended his Cadet retraining. The comforting black of space carried him onward to his new assignment.

Alright hooray! Class of two. Congrats to you Pembie, Now remember whever you go, boil the water...

Okay I finished this, Not sure how to put the tag on the toppic of this seeing that I did not start it. Rocar I senbt you a pm about this but just in case DING post is done.

“Things To Do in Dallas When You Are Dead” By Russ Heston Must have been a cold wind, or a least a freak show of rain. When it hit me it stung, mix of cold and despair. Ensign Russ Heston looked up at the large Texas sky and signed. It felt odd to be home. “So many broken pieces.” Russ walked from the landing pad and into the spaceport. Last thing he had remembered doing was drinking with his friends. Now he came back home. He crushed out the cigarette in his mouth. With a deep breath the doors opened and he saw a very unusual site, His parents and his brother and sister waiting for him. His father still looked imposing, the old withered and staunchly rigid man stood there waiting for him. Russ felt like a kid again and he was coming home to listen to them glorify something that Mark did. His sister Denise was standing next to him. His mother stood there oddly smiling at him. Russ looked at all of them and noticed the grinning. He stomped his foot down and let out a “Who the hell had a stroke? Y’all are grinning like you don’t have a central nervous system?” He then bean grinning. There was just a moment of silence and Mark stood forward , “Russ we are just glad to see you alive. We got a letter from the military saying you died in an attack by the cyborgs at the Embassy? When we heard you were alive….” Mark seemed genuinely happy to see him. It was the old man that spoke p next, “Well you run away to escape your problems at the home, So you run back here to escape your trubba from work?” His fathers heavy southern accent flecked and peppered every word he said. “Now, dear you don’t have to be so harsh.” It was his mom’s voice. She seemed to be sticking up for him. His father let out a sigh and they all walked out to the parking lot. Russ saw his dad’s hover car parked in the lot. He also saw Mark’s car and he saw sitting in the car Mark’s children and wife. The kids came running out of the car with cries of “Uncle Russ”. Russ smirked at his dad. He then reached into his bag and pulled out some Lauden toys for the children to play with. It was then a photo of him and a woman fell out of his bag. Denise, his sister was the one who spoke up, “ Russ, who is that?” Russ stopped cold in his tracks and looked down. He saw Toni Turner looking up at him. Russ began stammering. Sitting on top of the picture was an engagement ring. While he had yet to give it to her he knew they were going to go overboard on. He quickly picked up the picture and the ring and muttered “Nothing” Russell Senior spoke up again, “Denise if he wanted us to tell about how he is screwing up his life again he would tell us.” With that they all got into the Hover car and drove almost silently to Mesquite. On the way there they passed Russ’s old High school and a shudder went through his spine. He further got nervous when he saw the old now boarded up building that used to be the Kroger’s he worked at as a teenager. The vehicle sped down the road until it came to several rows of old beat up homes. 1801 Belt Line. It was at the edge of what most normal folk would consider civilization. The car stopped. Russell Senior turned back and said, “We are here.” To Russ all of this felt uncomfortable, like he was a visitor and not a family member. Being unloved was fine, he was well used to it. But this made him feel like he was a Klingon at the Vulcan science academy. Russ let out a discontented sigh. “So this is what hell feels like.” Russ muttered this as he stretched. He watched his family walk into the Old Heston residence. There was a yellow ribbon tied in front of the tree. He smirked as he looked at it. All the family was walking inside. All but Mark. Mark was his older brother who had been involved in both saving and getting into trouble. Russ stared at Mark. It was Mark that spoke first. "Russ you know Dad is still furious over what happened with Carm, and his grandkids. And before you go in there..." Russ felt his gut turn as he opened his mouth to answer to his brother. "Yes I know I am a jackass, yes I know I have screwed up that’s why I did not want to come back home. Maybe I should have given Dad just what he wanted and just died. And just in case you are wondering that picture Denise saw was of somebody who yes I am very much in... I am involved with." Russ almost let slip the L word and he knew that would send everybody over the edge. "Well you know Russ, we love you, we don't want you dead. But this estranged dude stuff that you are pulling, It ain't flying with a lot of us. Now come on inside be with us. At least put your gear away." Russ stowed his stuff in his old bedroom. It looked like it had not changed since he was eighteen. Russ was feeling very depressed from all of this. He did what he always did in situations where he felt like he was being picked on. He left. He climbed out the window. He felt just like a kid doing this. Like somehow he was sneaking away to go to a movie. Russ walked down the road. He figured it was time to make this cycle of humiliation and humility complete. He had to see if Carmen was still around. She lived not but two houses down from him. It would at least give him a chance to vent his feelings about the kids and about leaving her. He had to explain things to her. He could see through the window his boys playing. He began to walk up the stairs he felt the strength leave his body as he took each step up. He could not bring himself to climb the stairs. He could not bring himself to knock on the door. He could not bear to speak with her. He stepped back and down. He stepped on the lawn, his head was spinning and somewhere in the distance he heard a dog barking. The noise stung in his ears. He felt like Frankenstein’s Monster at this point. He needed a drink. (Sam Huston Bar and Grill) Russ walked into the bar. He shook both the cold and the bad mood off as the Lynrd Skynrd hit his ears. It was one of the few things about coming home he liked. Saloons were all over Texas. He saw the girl dancing on the stage. He sat down and ordered a jack and coke. The bartender brought the beverage to him. He sipped the drink and continued to watch the woman’s body sway to the music. The liquid burnt slightly as it went down. It took a moment for the alcohol to go down and start to make him feel numb. He remembered what he did right before the Borg attacked the Embassy, he crawled into a bottle, He suggested an evacuation and he hid. Nut that was something he would never admit to. “Let everybody think I am a flake. Better then thinking I am a coward then a looser.” He said this outloud and to himself. He did not see a person walk up to the table. “Russ Heston? Oh my gosh its you!” A rather well endowed blond was jiggling in front of him. His mind reeled trying to recall who this woman was. He stared at her just enjoying the view. He nodded at her. “Its me Joyce Reynolds… John’s sister.” She leaned forward and Russ let his eyes follow her. Russ remembered teasing JT about her before he left the Embassy to come here. He took another sip of his drink. He managed to get enough sense to motion to her to sit down. She sat down. She took a sip of his drink. She wore a nametag it said “Joyce” on it. She must be one of the girls that worked at the joint. Russ then brought his eyes to her face. She smiled at him and said, “Its okay looking don’t hurt nothing You doing okay? Its like Christmas time and stuff” “No it ain’t I am the biggest wussy in the universe.” Russ said this as he slammed down more of his drink. He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know why I even came back here. I am such a jerk. I might as well just go back to my rock and climb under it.” He motioned at the bartender to bring him another drink. Joyce looked at him and grinned,” Hey don’t feel that way. Men in uniform are sexy. And besides how many times to I get to meet a genuine local boy who done good?” She bounced a little in her chair. Russ genuinely felt his mood improving. Russ smiled at her and opened his wallet. He set down all the cash he had in it. Wished her a safe holiday and left the bar. He knew what he had to do versus what he should do. Either way it was a suck or suck more situation. He decided that he had to suck more. It was better to just go back to the Embassy where they at least knew he was a jerk rather then a looser. He hailed a taxi and started to drive to the space port he picked up his data pad. He typed in his brothers email. He felt his eyes grow something moist as he began to type, Dear Mark, Sorry I took off early an emergency took place. Feel free to send my stuff to the Embassy. Top secret type of stuff. Dad will be mad. But I am sure that’s nothing new. Russ OPS It was a mistake coming home. (Spaceport) As Russ entered the transport bound for Duronis II he knew in his gut lying to his brother would come back to bite him, But sticking around was going hurt and cost him a heck of a lot more. He felt horrible. He felt like dying. As the Shuttle took off he turned on his musical programming. He sang along with the recording. It was a recording of Warren Zevon’s “Things to Do in Denver When You are Dead.” Russ replaced Denver with Dallas.

Dang it wait these were the ones that had the little flag that came out em that say *Zap*

Here is your pip and complimentary phaser, Now watch out for Mugatos *cackles evily* Seriously congratulations and welcome to the fold

I could not agree any more if I tried. So sooo much nhilism in todays literature and science fiction movies. One of the main reasons why I love TOS so much.

Here is my favorite moments... 1) Khan's death throw "From Hell's heart I stab at thee" one of my favorite villians 2) Next would have to be General Chang and his Shakespherian references 3) Deep Space Nine The Way of the Warrior that showed the old fashioned Everything hating klingons that I so love. 4)Picards interogation by the hands of the cardassians. Every ime I see that I get chills up my spine 5) TOS Day of the Dove, I always saw the Orgainians as villians forcing somebody to be peaceful is almost as bad as wipping them out. It removes a certain amount of self choice and to me that is truly villianous 6) Deep Space Nine... The Section 31 agent. I despised him. He was one of those guys who is evil but has good intentions 7) Shinzons massacare of the Romulan senate, While I hated Insurection I loved that moment. 8) The Regent stabbing the alternate univers Garek. Then the key is found... That is evil but funny 9) Armus killing Yar. What a waste of a talented officer and for no purpose 10) Anything and everything the Borg have ever done.. All of these choices are odd kind of like me...

Just thought I would check in again and see as to what some of the fellow graduates of my class were up to? As for old Russ... Still an ensign, Doing strategic Operations work. Put a screen door in the office, Got him a car... (Drive everybody nuts with that thing...) Turning Russ into an alcoholic to the best of my abilities, And more recentally installed "Hold Music" into the communications system for his office. I know what Toni has been up to... How about the rest of you? And Solan you still around?

Personally, Ihave found alot of the new novels while intriguing in premise to be lacking. The last really good trek novel I read was the 134th Rule, It had the Ferengis going to war with Bajor. It shed light on the what was normally considered to be comic relief, made them almost dangerous. But getting back on track. Star trek Titan was an interesting read, To me though it seemed a little too much like a desperate cling to the Next Generation, Just as The New Voyages of Voyager seemed to try to reignate what the fans loved about each series. But I think something was lost bringing it to paper. I respect anybody who sits down and reads a book in this age of PDFs and Ebooks. But then again I am old fashioned. I was let down, I think they could have done alot better. But since I am a hard core trekker I thought it was a good try at rehashing old feelings. But thats just my opnion I have been known to be wrong..

He is as colorful as a painting.. Of course the painting is a Dali. Or one of those multi colored ink blot things Say Creed, does the Embassy have any red buttons I can press? Other then Rocars?

Ah Mister Creed Creed, I can't be bothered by petty things like details. I have evil schemes to plot and plan *Mwaaaaah*

I have bigger plans, I am on the federation's Embassy.. I plan on having a few Scandals nammed after me, failing that, Letting my incompotence start a war *Evil laughter*

Just wanted to say hello to all the officers who graduated and check in.... This is what i have managed to do so far: 1) Get poked by the CMO in a very tender spot 2) Wake the Counselor with a chant of the flying monkies 3) Defile a Holodeck 4) Throw a cup of Coffee durring breakfast, All the while avoiding the critique and abuse that I think my COs are going to rain down once a new mission can start. Did I mention Toni and I are having a blast? Boz, tell me you haven't found any sunbabies? Seriously how are your guys sims going?

As I said it was a grunt monkey question. Thanks for clearing it up bossman

Personally I don't know where we are going, Its been almost a week now, And Solan has not pointed us to to where we are headed. I am praying for Embassy detail, But being the one piped wonder that I am, its the whole "Go and die where we tell you to.". The way I look at it is a "Good News, Bad News" Situaton. Good news: We have graduated. Bad news is no assignment yet. But then again I just got information that somebody's pc is on the blink and assignments should be begin, God,Budda and Allah willing wedesday or Thursday. Also, grunt question, but I can't seem to start new topics? I can add to others but I can't go off an any tangents of my own, But the silver lining is I can do my blog entries just fine. Its an odd universe?

Just some food for thought, There are some things I sat down and thought about and I posed this question to some of my friends over a few beers and this is what we came up with. I am going pretty deep into the dork forest (I passed Harry Potter himself to get here) so please keep in mind that I normally am not a trek expert, but : 1) The encounter with the romulans. This contradicts the events in "Balance of Terror" 2) No Series ever, and I mean EVER hinted at the existence of the Xindi. If they ripped out a chunk of the planet Earth you would have thought that would make the history books? Or at least garner a reference or two in another series? 3) We are all pretty sure there was a problem with the way Vulcans were portrayed (The T'Pol/7of9 connection) 4) The Klingons being so close to Earth. If Quo'Nos and earth were really that close on the space charts.. Well the Klingons did not achieve warp ability until the USS Ranger landed on their world. It was a warp capable ship that made first contact. Klingons killed most of the crew and made some of the survivors teach them how to operate and build new ones. If memory serves it was one of the Reasons that the Prime Directive was written. 5) The Mirror universe two parter was my personal favorite, Others said "Broken Bow, some said The Finale, But it was generally thought the first two seasons were poorly written. (Now again this is not every bodies opinion, Just a few Trek Enthusiasts who had way too much beer) 6) Spock was supposed to be the first Vulcan involved with Starfleet was he not? I know T'Pol was technically not in fleet but she served on the ship... Its splitting hairs. 7) The Borg.... That little encounter as highly entertaining as it was (It was one of my favorite Enterprise episodes) It still just did not sit well with me as being plausible. I mean who knew you could cure borg nanoprobes by wrapping your chief medical officer in foul and micro waving him. It led to one of the funniest lines my friends have ever said ("Poke a few holes in him so he doesn't explode") 8)Klingon Foreheads They were smooth and TMP and the "incident" That they don't talk about happening.. Now mind you most of these opinions are a little tongue in cheek and not meant to insult, Only to amuse. All in all as I said, ENT to me stopped being trek when they Pulled Star Trek from its title. Brega I will admit worked hard on it and some of the Episodes were entertaining, But hard core fans for the most part disliked it. I am not a cannon nazi and I really tried to give this show a fair shake, But plots did not sit well and to me it felt like Gene's idea was somehow being perverted because Bragga wanted to re imagined it. Which is all well and good, But I would have killed to have seen more references to TOS. If it was supposed to be setting us up for it, then Why did they use an Akira class for the base of the NX? If the Andorians and Vulcans had this war then why was it never mentioned n the future? Just some thoughts I thought I would share.

Being the loudest mouth in my class, I figured I would be the first to speak up. I think we did great. Shen and Boz I just want to say if I ever need surgery do me a favor make sure we are away from the sun. Dan we didn't interact much, But from what I herd you are handy with a phaser. Keep it up you are going vaporize and make some security teams dream list. And Toni, What can I say other then a armed counselor? Remind me to pay my therapy bills. Seriously guys, You were great to work with and I can only hope in the future we SIM together and our paths cross. And a special thanks to Solan for putting up with us. We all kicked in and bought you a shinny bucket. We had to rinse it out. It used to belong to a janitor.... Did I mention it was washed out really well?

Personally nw this are just some of my thoughts, Enterprise, I just found some concepts in it hard to swallow. Just small things like at that point and time in history, The Articles of mars should have been layed down, No real conflict had existed between the Andorians and the Vulcans. It made for entertaining Television though. But then again I was never a big fan of Voyager for the same reason, Some things were too preachy, Some things were hard to swallow. Enterprise is a sensitive subject in the trek community at large. You either loved it or despised it. And personally I am one of those who who loved Gene's utopia visions of the future. I by far thought Baby;on 5 (the first 4 years) Were on par with TOS, TNG and DS9 as far as calibur of actors and scripts. But that isn't to say Voyager did not have worth scripts or actors. As far as Enterpise, T'Pol while she was nice to look at. She seemed too much like a 7 of 9. And being a Southerner myself it was nice to see one on TV who was not in the Blue Collar comedy show. Phlox he seemed like the most diverse and introspective person on the show. I wish they used him for more then odd comic relief. But aside from all of that, Enterprise is now part of the Star Trek universe. I like t think of it like a member of an extended family, The black Sheep of the family perhaps?