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Ryan Horn

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Everything posted by Ryan Horn

  1. Just re-raising the question....Feedback? Looks like we are 2 months behind....
  2. "I want a STORY!" The shrill cry of his son cut through the elder Ferengi's ears like a spike driven into his skull. "Fine. Just lie down and be quiet." He bent down, reaching over to the table near the bed for the worn book lying there. "NO! Not the rules of acquisition again. I want something NEW!!!" The elder Ferengi glowered at the younger lying in the bed. His words came across with the tone parents have learned to use through the ages, and children have learned to their dismay. "You'll learn these rules, and know them. When I was a young Ferengi, that's all I ever wanted to know. So lie down and listen!" "But Father...I KNOW the rules, and...well...nevermind." "What? Tell me." "I just thought...someone as rich as you...would have stories..." The half hidden smile on the young boy's face revealed the deception to the elder, still he had to give him credit. He sat down next to the boy and began speaking. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far..far away. A young Terran..." "But Father, the Terran's live in OUR galaxy" "Fine. A long time ago, on a planet far..far away..a young Terran told a lie." "This Terran was not a fighter, but he saw battles being fought. There were ugly truths that were all around him that he could not change. So he started to tell a lie. In this lie, the truths that haunted his daily life were already resolved. Terrankind had united under a great empire. They expanded to the stars, meeting new life and new civilizations. And with this lie, the Terran fought for what he believed in. The Terrans in his lie showed other civilizations the lie hidden behind each ugly truth. And in the midst of this, something...amazing happened." "He used the rules of acquisition, he merchandized?" The older Ferengi smiled fondly at his son. "No, sadly the Terrans have always been fools in that regard. But, each time the Terran told his lie, people listened." "They looked into themselves and wondered if they would fit into the Terran's lie. Where they found themselves lacking, they worked to improve. Technologies were pushed to match what the lie said would be true, policies were changed to lead to the possibility of what might become. Eventually, the lie...became truth." The younger Ferengi snored softly, his lips curled up into a small smile. The elder looked down at him fondly, covering him up. His words were soft as he finished his story. "So be careful my little liar, who knows what truths will spring up from what you speak. May they be worthy of the dreams you create."
  3. Sooo...before the judges go through another round...any news on when the reviews from last round are coming?
  4. Any word on the reviews? (Saw it's been 8 days...) Thanks..
  5. Any idea on when we are going to get the reviews? Win or lose..I wanna see what people thought..
  6. I think she was referring to your posting of the story..
  7. Lt. Matthew Ray struggled to consciousness. The dim light of cabin pierced his weary eyes as he slowly sat up. Far too few lights greeted him from the runabout's console, a sign that the situation had gotten worse as he slept. He got up, half-heartedly tapping several consoles, unsurprised at their lack of response. He picked up the PADD from the floor before sitting back down on the makeshift bed. "Stardate...unknown. This is Lieutenant Matthew Ray, formerly of the USS Trantor. The Trantor was destroyed in the same event that trapped me here. A Romulan Warbird decloaked off the Starboard, firing as she did. We managed to defeat her, but the cowards released the safeties on their core. The singularity ripped through the ship, I managed to get to the runabout...but the damage was too severe. I've managed to coerce the ship into an orbit around this planet. Unfortunately, my readings indicate the energies surrounding the planet are...hazardous. And with each pass around the planet, things get worse. My health is failing, and I feel drained, constantly tired. I've diverted all the power I can, with any luck I'll have enough to break orbit. Too tired to continue, will need all of my energy if this succeeds. " The young man lay back down on his bunk, as the tiny craft continued its circular path around the planet. Lt. Ray struggled to consciousness. The dim light of cabin pierced his weary eyes as he slowly sat up. Far too few lights greeted him from the runabout's console, a sign that the situation had gotten worse as he slept. He got up, half-heartedly tapping several consoles, unsurprised at the lack of response. He picked up the PADD from the floor before sitting back down on the makeshift bed. "Stardate...unknown. This is Lieutenant...Ray, formerly of the Federation ship Trantor. The Trantor was destroyed in the same event that trapped me here. We ran across a Romulan Warbird decloaked near this planet. The captain ordered us to fire on the vessel. Despite our advantage, she fought well, but We managed to defeat her. They begged for surrender, but the captain fired again. Unfortunately that released the safeties on their core. The singularity ripped through the ship, I managed to get to the runabout...but the damage was too severe. I've managed to coerce the ship into an orbit around this planet. Unfortunately, my readings indicate the energies surrounding the planet are...hazardous. And with each pass around the planet, things get worse. My health is failing, and I feel drained, constantly tired. I've diverted all the power I can, with any luck I'll have enough to break orbit. Too tired to continue, will need all of my energy if this succeeds. " The young man lay back down on his bunk, as the tiny craft continued its circular path around the planet. The young man struggled to consciousness. "Stardate...unknown. This is Matthew, formerly a passenger of the Federation ship Trantor. The Trantor was destroyed in the same event that trapped me here. The captain of the Trantor had sent a message requesting aid. As the Romulans lowered their shields to assist the Trantor fired on them. The Romulans begged for surrender, but the captain fired again. Unfortunately that released the safeties on the Romulan ship's core. The singularity ripped through the ship, I managed to get to the runabout...but the damage was too severe. I've managed to coerce the ship into an orbit around this planet. Unfortunately, my readings indicate the energies surrounding the planet are...hazardous. And with each pass around the planet, things get worse. My health is failing, and I feel drained, constantly tired. I've diverted all the power I can, with any luck I'll have enough to break orbit. Too tired to continue, will need all of my energy if this succeeds." The young man lay back down on his bunk, as the tiny craft continued its circular path around the planet. The man struggled to consciousness. The dim light of cabin pierced his weary eyes as he slowly sat up. Far too few lights greeted him from the runabout's console, a sign that the situation had gotten worse as he slept. He got up, half-heartedly tapping several consoles, unsurprised at the lack of response. He picked up the PADD from the floor before sitting back down on the makeshift bed. "To whoever finds this PADD. This is...is...the occupant of the ship. My name is not important, what is important is the news getting out. I was a passenger on Romulan ship 'T'Shen'. The Captain of that ship was giving me a tour of the bridge when a message was received. A Federation ship, the Trantor, was broadcasting a ship's emergency message. The T'Shen moved to assist, when the Trantor opened fire without warning. Despite the cowardly attack, the T'Shen was victorious. Not willing to accept defeat, the Trantor detonated their warp core, destroying the safeties on the T'Shen. I managed to get to this runabout...but the damage was too severe. I've managed to coerce the ship into an orbit around this planet. Unfortunately, my readings indicate the energies surrounding the planet are...hazardous. And with each pass around the planet, things get worse. My health is failing, and I feel drained, constantly tired. I've diverted all the power I can, with any luck I'll have enough to break orbit. I must get through this, tell everyone the truth of what happened!" The young man lay back down on his bunk, as the tiny craft continued its circular path around the planet. The two Romulans looked in on the young man sleeping in front of them. Around them, the lines of the holodeck shutting down replaced the dimly lit cabin. The shorter of the two leaned down to pick up the PADD left behind as the man slept on. "Well?" "Progress continues as expected. The longest time was required to convince him of a Romulan victory, from here we can convince him of any situation." "How long until he'll work for us?" The shorter Romulan paused, considering. "It's hard to be certain, I believe perhaps ten more cycles?" "Excellent, proceed. I want our young Lieutenant in place by the end of the month. His personal changes should fit nicely with the commissioning of a new ship within the Federation. 'A little revolution is good... every now and then.'" An evil smile crossed his features. I believe that Lieutenant Ray will make an excellent addition to such an...independent...ship."
  8. I'll be turning in something on this. Like Mr. Wilde I was initially tempted to have something related to the starship... However, I've got a different kind of "Revolution" in mind for mine.. Good luck all!
  9. Hey Cara, If cuz of exams... good luck! But...using the previous "What if" as an example... Some people had Warp flight working until yesterday...some had warpflight never existing... sooo depending on how you want to approach it would determine what you wanted to write about.
  10. Congrats Nemitor! And thanks...*grin* just waiting for the judges reviews...
  11. Good luck everyone! Some really great stories out there, I don't envy our judges..
  12. A single starship cleaved through the depths of space, its destination unknown. The darkness within matched by that found without, the few active flickering lights providing no more light to the ship’s interior than the stars it passed through lit the exterior. A single console remained open, repeating a message over and over again. The computer, overloaded far past it’s capacity, fragmenting the message as it was sent out. “NCC ….. Mariner...ng….ship…..distress” Then suddenly, without any apparent reason, the message stopped. ***** “Captain’s log, Stardate 238510.22.35 Long range communications have picked up a fading distress call. Based on Starfleet Intel, this could be the lost USS Mariner. Three days ago the distress call stopped broadcasting. In response, we have accelerated to maximum sustainable warp and should arrive within minutes. Captain Adara Collesh stopped the recording. She still couldn’t believe it, the Mariner. She’d read the information on it, a Galaxy class starship, sent to explore the furthest reaches of space. It was nothing special…until the day the messages stopped coming in. Ships sent out to the last known location were only able to find the slowly decaying particles from a destroyed warp core. However…there was not enough mass found to account for the ship’s destruction, something that led would-be saviors and an unfortunate number of “treasure hunters” to examine the area after Starfleet stopped. The disappearance had happened two years ago…more than enough time to push the ship far from people’s minds. This changed just a few days ago. Suddenly there was a broken message from the ship…broadcasting a distress call and location. Adara happened to have the closest ship, so here she was…moments from answering the question of the ghost ship. As she walked out of her Ready room onto the bridge she shuddered slightly. Would this be a rescue…or a burial? She walked carefully to the middle of the bridge, watching as her first officer moved to the science station. He examined the panel, a choked gasp coming out of him after a few moments. “Ok Mr. Reilly, what do we have? “ Her first officer turned to face her, his face pale. “We have…it’s…I think it’s the remains of the Mariner, but you’ll need to see this.” “On Screen.” Adara gasped as she stared at the remains of the Mariner. In the two years since it had been launched, the ship had obviously been through an incredible amount. Based on the warp core wreckage, she’d expected the lack of telltale blue color. However, the ship looked barely salvageable, huge chunks apparently torn from it. Only the sections nearest to engineering were in any state of repair, and even there it looked almost skeletal. “Mr. Reilly, are there any life signs?” He shook his head sadly. “No Captain, she’s dead in space. It looks like someone aimed her in this direction…but..” His next words were cut off by the ensign at helm. The Ensign’s voice was shrill with excitement. “Captain…it’s the…They’re alive!” He calmed down before continuing. “Um…I mean... Hail from the ship Captain.” She gave her first officer an amused look. “No life signs? Put it on screen Ensign.” As the screen came to life, she smiled to see her former commander answering. “Captain Radley? You are looking well for someone who’s been missing for two years. How are you doing? And how are you shielding your life signs?” The elder man gave her a slow smile before replying. “Commander...no, I see Captain Collesh now? Congratulations. As for how…it would be easier to show you. Perhaps you could be convinced to join me for dinner?” Adara couldn’t help but chuckle. She’d worked under Radley just prior to his receiving the Mariner. Always a bit of a dreamer, she’d wondered sometimes why Starfleet entrusted him with anyone, but the loyalty to his people had always supported their choice. “Captain, while I’d normally like nothing better than to taste your cooking, perhaps you would like to send your survivors over here?” “Adara, trust me. We’ve done something amazing here, you have to see it.” His eyes were almost painfully bright, the look intense in the way of fanatics or madmen. She signaled the young ensign to mute the line, then turned to her FO. “Can you lock onto them at all?” “No. Honestly Captain, without that signal I wouldn’t have known they were alive.” Adara thought furiously, she had to bring them back safely…but who knew what lay in wait for her there? An old adage about the cannibal sending out dinner invitations floated through her mind, making her uneasy. Finally, the need to bring them back safely overrode her other concerns, gesturing to open the channel, she replied with a bright smile to her former CO. “We’ll be over there in a few minutes, can you send us beaming coordinates?” Radley looked at her with a sly smile, “That won’t be an issue Captain. We’ll beam you safely over.” At his words, she saw the sparkling effect of the transporter surrounding her, then bringing her…elsewhere. ***** She found herself on the top of a hill overlooking a huge city. It was a bustling metropolis who’s borders were beyond what she could see. Turning around, she realized that the hill she was standing on was merely a high point in a park within that city. As she stared, Captain Radley walked up the path towards her. He smiled gently at her as he gestured around them. “As I said, you have to see it.” Gathering her wits to her, Adara smiled back. “It’s a lovely holodeck Captain, but we have far more pressing matters.” “It’s far more than that Adara, far far more. Please…come with me into the city.” Irritated by his actions, she pulled out her phaser, “I’m sorry to ruin this for you Captain, but we have priorities. There are people who are dying.” She fired the phaser directly upward, watching it as the beam was slowly swallowed by the atmosphere. “That’s…not possible.” She sunk to her knees into the grassy knoll. Radley sat down comfortably across from her. “I’m sorry Adara, I really am…but there was no other way to convince you.” She looked over at him, her eyes wide. “Where are we?” “We are in the computer core of the Mariner.” At his words, the shock was simply too great for Adara. She felt the grass tickling her face as she collapsed bonelessly onto the ground. ***** Adara woke to the rumbling sound of thunder. She sat up in the four poster bed she'd lain in, the silk covers tossed aside in her excitement. Moving to the curtains, she pulled them back to see the deep black storm clouds, punctuated by brilliant lances of lightning and the boom of thunder as it passed. She could feel the building slightly swaying with the wind the storm generated. “How can this not be real?” A knock on her door startled her, she turned as it opened seeing Michael Radley entering carrying a silver tray. She watched as he set down the tea setting at a table near her and sat down. He poured the tea while looking at her intently. “I presume you have questions?” “Questions? Of course I have questions. Where is your crew? Why did you do this? What happened to your ship?” She sat down into the overstuff chair behind her, waiting for his answers. “I’ll start at the beginning. We’d entered a nebula, it’s been so long now that I don’t even remember what it’s name was…” “It’s only been two years Michael, how can you..” “Please, let me finish, I can explain everything. We entered the nebula at warp. I don’t know what triggered it, but whatever it was, the warp core almost immediately started to go critical. We did what we had to do, we ejected the core.” He sighed, appearing to fall within himself. “We stranded ourselves in the middle of nowhere with over a thousand people. The core breach had damaged multiple systems, we didn’t know if anyone was even hearing us when we broadcast our emergency beacons. We spent weeks trying to find something…anything. We had two months of supplies, three if we stretched, and nothing habitable within sensor range. Finally, someone came up with this idea. We’d setup a transporter, claim we had created a city within a bubble, and move the people into it.” Adara stopped him, “Why not tell them the truth?” He smiled wryly at her, “For the same reason that you needed to be brought here to see the truth. Who would believe it, and there was too great a chance they’d panic. Besides, we have made it so that the rules here mimic the rules outside.” He chuckled remembering, “with two small differences.” She watched as he sipped his tea, deliberately stalling. She couldn’t help but chuckle remembering this part of him. He continued to drink as she matched him sip for sip. Two old friends enjoying a moment of peace amidst the insanity. He set the cup down and continued. “Neither were things we expected. And it took decades for us to realize it.” Adara looked over at him confused, “Decades? You’ve only been gone two years!” “Two years in real time. However, due to a fault in the programming, we are experiencing everything at nearly the speed of light. Any decision we make is made at the speed of the ship’s computer. A minute of real time to us is measured in years or even decades.” He waited as she considered the implications of what he’d said. Adara dropped her cup in shock, not paying attention to the noise of it shattering as she realized what he’d said. “But that would make you..” “A lot older than I look.” He chuckled “And continuing to age…just at a different rate.” She shook her head, confusion and denial written on her face. “Humans can’t live that long…they aren't designed for it.” “Why not? Life is based on physical being. If you don’t have your body telling you how old you are, how old do you feel?” He paused. “However, there are some who feel as you do, so they go through a series of reincarnations, or they sleep.” “Sleep?” “No one has died here Adara. We have a community of over 10 billion individuals, and in the entire history of the city, no one has died.” “Where are they? How?” “Adara, we have had thousands of years. Our storage technology is so far beyond yours now that you might as well be carrying jugs and spears. When we needed physical materials, we manipulated the replicators. The initial changes were hard, but as we modified the outside, the ship, we began to interact with it that much faster. As to the others, they have stayed back while we talked.” Adara closed her eyes, breathing slowly as she attempted to regain her focus. So much was going on that it would be far too easy to be lost in it. Opening her eyes, she looked intently back at him, trying to prove him wrong on at least one point. “So, if your ship is so powerful, why did the call go out?” He looked back at her, his face falling slightly. “Despite all of our best efforts, we are running out of materials. We simply can’t cope with the increasing size of the city. Too many people, not enough storage. We need your help.” “What do you need?” He smiled at her, gesturing to the door. “We have some time, let me show you all that we’ve done.” ***** “Captain Adara checking in. Nothing new to report, next call in 24 hours.” “Acknowledged Captain. See you in twenty four, Solaris out.” Adara flopped onto her bed, exhausted. The improvements they’d shown her over the last several weeks were simply incredible. Any one of the designs she’d seen would shift the balance of power permanently, and were all the more frightening based on the simplicity of the designs. With a fairly simple set of changes, most starships could be updated. In a matter of weeks, the Federation could permanently secure it’s borders, reach systems in hours that had taken weeks, eliminate diseases. The ideas were enough to keep her head spinning. “So, what do you think Adara? Do you grasp what we are offering the Federation?” She sat up, smiling at him. “ ‘Offering the Federation’? Michael, you are part of the Federation, a Captain I’m lead to believe.” He sat down in the chair facing her, gathering his thoughts. “Adara. I haven’t been a member of the Federation for over a thousand years.” She looked at him in shock. “What are you saying?!?” Michael smiled sadly. “Think about it Adara. The Federation setup the Prime Directive in order to prevent the effect of high levels of technology on pre-warp civilizations. Compared to the levels of technology we possess, you are equivalent to pre-warp to us. Adara shut her eyes, biting her lower lip in concentration. After pausing a moment, she looked up. “So, if this is what you are offering. What do you require?” “You will be a part of the City. A City that with your aid, will stretch to the infinite. Each new ship on the outside creating a link to new people, expanding it. Imagine, the entire quadrant in one city. A city not ruled by the fear of death, disease, famine, or war.” “What of those who don’t want to be part of it? Some people won’t want to live here.” He frowned. “I told them that you would ask, that it would come to you. Adara, do you allow a child to be alone in a room with a knife? No. You protect the child, making sure it can grow. And if you find a child left alone with a knife, you protect the child perhaps even from the parent who has left them. “ “But we aren’t children. We can make our own decisions. You must realize that!” “Adara, you’ve lived what, 30 years? That is hardly a reasonable amount of time to even consider. You may have started to learn, but you are as yet a child.” She looked over at the madman in front of her, realizing just how far they had gone. Worse, knowing what she would have to do to stop it. Acting quickly, before he could stop her, she tapped her badge. “Captain Adara, ordering an emergency beam out! Now!” As she lost herself in the particles showing a transport, she saw him sadly shake his head. ***** Appearing back onto the bridge of her ship, she was surprised to see everyone in the positions she’d left them at when she transported out. Her first officer looked at her, confusion obvious in his eyes. “Captain? Why are you back so soon? Was there a problem with the transporter?” “Commander, I’ve been gone for several….” Before she could complete the sentence, Radley’s words came back to her. She’d been in their computer so almost no time would have passed. “Never mind. What’s important is that we fire an electromagnetic pulse at that ship.” “Captain, we can’t, she’s a Federation…” “Commander, do it. That’s an order!” As Adara watched the crew moving to obey, she felt a curious tingling in the back of her head, almost like trying to remember a dream. She saw the blazing beam of green energy firing from the ships emitters into the Mariner...then to her horror saw it slow down, and stop meters away from the hull. She turned to her crew, to find them seemingly trapped in the same frozen stance. As she moved to rouse one of them, she heard a the sound of clapping hands. Turning, she saw Captain Radley, in full Federation dress, walking toward her. “Brilliant as always Adara, the projections said you would fire to destroy the Mariner, but I told them that you wouldn’t wait...wouldn’t let this threat escape. You’d wipe every drive then scatter the ashes…but first you’d prevent us from acting. So, what am I to do with you?” “How…how did you do this?” Despite her training, she felt herself fall into the chair. “You can’t…it’s not possible.” “Oh you are quite right. Outside the computer, none of this is possible. However, why do you think we are outside?” At her look of dawning horror, he began pacing back and forth while speaking briskly. “Now, you know the old question. If you had to sacrifice one innocent child to save the life of millions, would you? You are obviously willing to do the reverse. However sadly, I must agree that one innocent life is a worthy sacrifice to save untold numbers. Goodbye Adara.” “You can't, if I die...my ship” “That won't be a problem, you aren't going to die. I'm just going to change your mind” “How...oh no! My mind is…” “In our computer. Yes. In fact, currently your mind is simply a datafile. And like any file, it can be manipulated. Don’t worry Captain. You are about to be a part of something far...far greater.” Radley watched as the look on Adara’s face changed. She smiled and nodded briefly to him as the transporter carried her back to her ship. The next step had begun. She would convince or convert the others on her ship, creating the first link. From there, they would go to a starbase, or meet another starship. Then, as each location was converted, more and more would enter the City. Each one adding their knowledge, joining, building. Michael knew that the city would never be infinite, there would always be some limit. However, with this plan it would constantly continue to grow. It would always be just shy of infinity, a city always on the edge of forever.
  13. Good Luck Julia, I'm in the same boat. I've got the concept, plot, storyline all in my head..but my first attempt was awful enough that I s[...]ped it and started watching a movie instead...*laugh*
  14. Um...where are you getting this from the feedback he gave? Here's what I saw... Um...Seems to be a positive first paragraph.... And this is a comment made to all..not just you. And I'd like to add this point... you came in as a runner up! So why the "So much for writing challenges" tagline? And the attitude? *laugh* I've won ONCE...and then the Judges comments were that my story was the most fitting the requirements...NOT the best story. We aren't getting paid for this...and neither are the judges. Our ONLY pay is the feedback they give so we can improve our writing...or bask in adulation..*laugh*. THEIR pay? um...currently it's a lot of flak for providing honest feedback. I may well be frustrated when I hear from one judge I crammed too much in a story..and from another I didn't get enough in... But how much worse am I going to be if they only tell me positives? I'm sorry for dragging this another step all...but really...this is ridiculous.
  15. I agree with Cody on this one. And while I also understand where Rocar is going with this...his suggestions seemed to me a "cheat". Not actively going after the point. Which is why I brought this up. Single/simple concepts such as deception/love/etc...are very easy to interpret...just wasn't sure where this theme was going. But...I can go with this.. (No idea WHERE I'm going..but that's usually how I start out..*chuckle*)
  16. That does make a lot more sense. However....as an example, if someone was to write the storyline for the 'City story and submit it...wouldn't the judges say that while its a great, powerful, moving story...the "City on the Edge of Forever" concept is just kinda attached on loosely? I guess that part is what I'm having difficulty with. I'm trying to come up with something that would work with the concept...but the base story doesn't appear to... Soooo...should our stories relate to the storyline? Are the judges going to be more forgiving of the connection to the title as the original was weakly connected? 3000 words seems very short to have a storyline that really incorporates the City concept as central... Of course this may all be too much information to request...but...
  17. Hi all, As always...thanks to the judges for reading/reviewing. I may not always agree...but an impartial review is always worthwhile. By the way...does anyone know why that episode was called "City on the edge of forever?" I dunno...especially after some reviews on stories written here...the title seems fairly unrelated to the story.
  18. Congrats Mr. Cody.. Way to go everyone else...wonderful stories! -Walker
  19. Sorry, the first post was my draft copy, wasn't intended as my final post. Here's the final. ---------- A low sobbing echoed through the vastness. The Captain sighed as she went through the records another time. Of all the tasks she had to do, this remained the hardest. Explaining to families how their children had died. As she wrote each one she could imagine the shaking hands as they opened the sealed envelope, one of the few times they would ever receive a paper document. Their eyes tearing as they read the note then reread it a dozen times hoping to find some error, some flaw. Anything to prove it wasn’t their child, their loved one. Then, the cursing would start. Of Starfleet, of the Federation, of each and every thing that caused their loved one to die. Finally, they would curse her for allowing that death. She was responsible for each…and every…death. A cry of anguish was ripped from the figure as another stone was dropped onto its load. Already overwhelmed, the weight pulled at muscles far overstrained. Eyes long devoid of hope looked up to see another stone falling… The Chief Tactical Officer rubbed his eyes as he restarted the battle log again. They’d won the battle, but at far too great a cost. He saw again how he’d misinterpreted a flanking attack as the primary thrust. That mistake had allowed the forces to the rear to concentrate their attacks. He was responsible for the deaths in engineering, the burn victims, and the damage to the ship. He couldn’t make a mistake, not with this many lives on the line, but he had. So here he sat, finding ways to improve, to perfect his skills. It was far better than thinking of the damage he had allowed. The crack of the whip sounded, echoed moments later by the sound of it hitting flesh. The figure’s back was a mass of wounds, stripes of flesh missing from each strike. With each strike, the figure raised the whip saying “Never again” The Chief Medical Officer scrubbed her hands in the sink. They were already a bright pink from where she’d been scrubbing, but she continued. She knew that logically, her hands could not be stained with the blood of those she’d been working on. Modern methods of sanitation alone would prevent that, not to mention modern medicine itself. However, she still felt the need to scrub them clean. Logically, this was a simple aftereffect from the work she’d been doing. Trying to save as many as could be saved after the last battle. Equally logically, there were some that simply could not be saved. No one could. So she scrubbed the blood from her hands, willing them to be clean again. The figure, wrapped in the shadows of the room, rocked as the crying intensified. Deep racking sobs shook it again and again. Low mounds surrounded the figure, one of which, partially open, revealed a half buried body. The Counselor sat alone in her room, quietly reviewing the reports she’d gathered. The war was done; once more the Federation had triumphed. However, from her point of view the battle was barely begun. She now had to fight the hidden war, helping the people recover. She began sending out messages to the senior staff first. They had the double burden of giving the orders, and watching their people die from them. She tapped her badge, calling the Captain… The figure looked up, seeing a sudden soft light above it. As the Counselor spoke to each person, the light spread. Where it touched, where she spoke to the people emotionally ravaged, the wounds began to heal. The scars would always remain as a testament to what had occurred, but no longer were they mortal wounds. Hope had been sorely tested, Faith pushed to the very limits, but the Spirit would endure. All thanks to a hidden warrior, who fought the hardest, most secret, battle of the conflict.
  20. Whew..got it in under the wire. Not my best I'm sure..but.. here goes..
  21. A low sobbing echoed through the room. The Captain sighed as she went through the records another time. Of all the tasks she had to do, this remained the hardest. Explaining to families how their children had died. As she wrote each one she could imagine the shaking hands as they opened the sealed envelope, one of the few times they would ever receive a paper document. Their eyes tearing as they read the note then reread it a dozen times hoping to find some error, some flaw. Anything to prove it wasn’t their child, their loved one. Then, the cursing would start. Of Starfleet, of the Federation, of each and every thing that caused their loved one to die. Finally, they would curse her for allowing that death. She was responsible for each…and every…death. A cry of anguish was ripped from the figure as another stone was dropped onto its load. Already overwhelmed, the weight pulled at muscles far overstrained. Eyes long devoid of hope looked up to see another stone falling. The Chief Tactical Officer rubbed his eyes as he restarted the battle log again. They’d won the battle, but at far too great a cost. He saw again how he’d misinterpreted a flanking attack as the primary thrust. That mistake had allowed the forces to the rear to concentrate their attacks. He was responsible for the deaths in engineering, the burn victims, and the damage to the ship. He couldn’t make a mistake, not with this many lives on the line, but he had. So here he sat, finding ways to improve, to perfect his skills. It was far better than thinking of the damage he had allowed. The crack of the whip sounded, echoed moments later by the sound of it hitting flesh. The figure’s back was a mass of wounds, stripes of flesh missing from each strike. With each strike, the figure raised the whip again saying “Never again” The Chief Medical Officer scrubbed her hands in the sink. They were already a bright pink from where she’d been scrubbing, but she continued. She knew that logically, her hands could not be stained with the blood of those she’d been working on. Modern methods of sanitation alone would prevent that, not to mention modern medicine itself. However, she still felt the need to scrub them clean. Logically, this was a simple aftereffect from the work she’d been doing. Trying to save as many as could be saved after the last battle. Equally logically, there were some that simply could not be saved. No one could. So she scrubbed the blood from her hands, willing them to be clean again. The figure, wrapped in the shadows of the room, rocked as the crying intensified. Deep racking sobs shook it again and again. Low mounds surrounded the figure, one of which revealing a half buried body. The Counselor sat alone in her room, quietly reviewing the reports she’d gathered. The war was done; once more the Federation had triumphed. However, from her point of view the battle was barely begun. She now had to fight the hidden war, helping the people recover. She began sending out messages to the senior staff first. They had the double burden of giving the orders, and watching their people die from them. She tapped her badge, calling the Captain… The figure looked up, seeing a sudden soft light above it. As the light touched, the worst of the wounds faded, healing. They would always remain as a testament to what had occurred, but no longer were they all encompassing. Hope had been sorely tested, Faith pushed to the very limits, but the Spirit would endure. All thanks to a hidden warrior, who fought the hardest, most secret, battle of the conflict.
  22. I'm not a fan of your respective stories..I must find a way to destroy them..destroy them all..leaving only my stories to lead...to win! Of course if I lose at that point it'll be embarrassing.. Seriously, it is always great seeing the directions everyone takes their stories. I'm always impressed at how different the stories tend to be...especially with the same kernel of inspiration to start. (And not slightly worried as I try to determine a story that will stand out amongst that august body) Now...I just gotta figure out a way...
  23. Hey all, First of all, thank you for the review. Good/Bad/Ugly...it all comes down to a set of opinions... and my story is worthless if no one reads it. And even a poor review means that it's made an impact. (And yes..I repeat that every time I get upsetting or frustrating reviews...*chuckle*) I do very much appreciate the time all the judges take...and any responses I get from additional questions I ask after the reviews.. that said...(To quote from the review itself..*smile*) Actually..I was going for a dual message in the story. Allison was the "window" that everyone else in the universe/Federation viewed her ships actions. The use of the "window" as a means to experience your deepest desires was semi-intentionally "clunky" or more precisely blatant.. It is unfortunate that I was not able to correctly, or at minimum completely, express that point. However, I'll use this forum..(no pun intended) to explain it.. Again, thank you for reviewing...past and present....good and bad. Cuz personally, I would rather hear a thousand bad comments than only hear the good. Cuz I'll never improve if I only hear the positives.. Walker
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