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Ryan Horn

Captains Council member
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Everything posted by Ryan Horn

  1. Good Morning all, Congratulations again to our last rounds winner, Talus Rhun...who will be joining the judging for this round, and has come up with the following: "What if the Cardassians had occupied Earth instead of Bajor?" This could be a story on how the Federation was perhaps founded on Bajor..with Earth being the location of the wormhole, or perhaps the Cardassians were defeated by Bajor but took Earth. Or possibly that the Federation put so much effort into Bajor that Earth was too undefended to hold against a surprise attack! Or.... Whatever you decide... let us know! Guidelines:
  2. Review of "Darkening Skies": Reviewed by Lt. Whale I quite liked the twist in this one -- the funeral being faked, the exploding ship being a failed assassination attempt. There was some initial difficulty on my part following who was doing what in the first section, but the subsequent sections had better flow. I really liked how events from the sims were incorporated (the Phoenix, the DS17 bombings) and that the end of the story wasn't REALLY the end of the story.
  3. "End of Days" by Eliaan Deron Feedback by Toni Turner I have to say at the beginning, I am not a fan of stories that jump back and forth between place to place, but this particular story drew me in masterfully, making me thirst for the jumps to find out what would unfold.Eliaan gave just enough information in from the "KS Reclaw" to give credence to the next "Fellara Prime" segment, and visa versa, making me try to guess what had happened. At one point I had almost thought that the Fellarans were a minute race trapped in the device and Jados would find a way to help them, but then... BAM!... h
  4. The Darkness within... Do you remember the first time you saw the episode with the Borg? That it wasn't just that they would win...but that in losing you'd become them. Much like any zombie thriller, there is something about fighting a battle that you can't overcome. In reading this story, there was that same feeling. The main character did everything she could to survive, but at the end was unsuccessful. My only regret is that there isn't a way to see the second "episode" of this story! Reviewed by Capt. Ben Walker. Starfleet priority two I really enjoyed this story. While we normally
  5. And...after pulling in a guest judge from the Executive Council(Thank you Captain Mar!), we have the runner up! Good name for a Shuttle, by Lt. Cmdr Tal Tel-ar! Congrats to both the winner and runner up!
  6. Good afternoon all, I need to apologize, as there was an error in the judging process. Due to some confusion..the order of the stories was inverted in the grading from a judge. Obviously that shifts the values some. The story, "The Darkness within" by Ensign Tallis Rhul is the winning entry for this round. Congratulations Ensign Rhul! There is currently a tie for Runner up..which is being resolved. However, news like this needs to go out quickly. An update will go out when we have the runner up finalized.
  7. Congratulations to this Challenge's winner, Lt. Cmdr Cara Maria for Darkening Skies. And to the Runner up, The End of days, by Dr. Eliaan Deron! As Toni suggested, this was not an easy call for the judges. We had to break a three way tie for first...and that was only broken by 1 point between them! Excellent stories all! We'll have the individual reviews up sometime tomorrow! Looking forward to seeing what comes next from everyone! Capt. Ben Walker USS Ronin
  8. Good Morning all, Congratulations again to our last rounds winner, David Whale...who will be joining the judging for this round, and has come up with the following: "The Gathering Darkness" Whether it's a story about evil forces, black holes, or death itself... come up with something following the standards below. Have fun..and good luck! Guidelines: To participate, create a new thread. The subject of the thread must be the title of your story. If it is a Work In Progress, denote that with the heart post icon. If your work is complete, use the horizontal arrow post icon. Items not marked wi
  9. The Gauntlet of Atlas: This was a great story, reminding me in some ways of "The Sixth Sense" in the twist at the end. I found myself rereading the story again, noting that the phrasing that I thought so clearly indicated one thing...actually had been left very open to interpretation. It was very well written, pulling me into the story from the opening lines, and leaving me just as shocked and grudgingly amazed at the audacity and success of the thief as the guard who she'd conned. Excellent story, well worth the victory in this round...and I hope to see more!
  10. Liberty Falls: The description of an engineering crew going through a gauntlet, while the ship they serve is going through its own was very well done. As I read the story, I could envision the ship falling to pieces, as well as the difficult choices of how to send your team to safety. The final gauntlet, as she sacrificed her life to save her sister's, was a great completion to the story. Unfortunately, the ending description of her heroic effort pulled me from the story. As she is carrying her sister on her back the heat is killing her. But there was nothing to say why her sister was n
  11. This thread is only to provide feedback on the stories received. Please post any comments to the discussion topic. Thank you.
  12. Congratulations to our winner, David Whale ("The Gauntlet of Atlas"). Tallis Rhul ("The Darkest Night"), is our runner-up! Final reviews coming in over the next few days. Next challenge will probably begin sometime in the next few days.
  13. Please use this thread for any discussion or questions about this writing challenge.
  14. Guidelines: To participate, create a new thread. The subject of the thread must be the title of your story. If it is a Work In Progress, denote that with the heart post icon. If your work is complete, use the horizontal arrow post icon. Items not marked with an icon or marked with the WiP icon will not be considered for judging and will be moved to the "Character Cafe" forum at the end of the contest. Your work must be entirely your own. No co-authoring. You are welcome to create any character you so desire, but they must be from the Star Trek universe. No "canon" characters allowed. (i.e.- No
  15. Just figured I'd raise the flag again on this... Alternately...if we don't have the winner...perhaps we should just start the next contest while this one finishes? Don't want to lose too much momentum...
  16. Haven't seen any movement here for a couple weeks...how goes the reviews?
  17. Passing through the starry void, two people looked out into the stars. Looking out into the infinite velvety blackness, the boy dreamed of the stars. How he would soar through the cosmos on wings of fire. To see wonders undreamt of, experience the thrill of discovery, to set foot where no human had ever been before, to find friends where he'd never looked, and defeat dishonorable enemies with honor and respect. He wanted to experience all the glories the stars represented. He couldn't wait. Looking out into the infinite velvety blackness, the Commander stared out into the stars. He wondere
  18. Not sure if it'll help much...but posted my story.. (And as I can't seem to find the arrow icon..I used an exclamation point..*blush*)
  19. Another one relating to the now near burning down of the Inn where the Ronin crew stayed at. Having watched enough burning buildings, the thought that it had no real intelligence but a voracious hunger really describes any fire well.
  20. The Fire - Consumption ((Conference Room, Inn on the Moor, Whitby England)) ::The hungry creature suddenly burst into life. If it had cared, it might have wondered what brought it into existence. It may have thought of thanking the bipedal creature that fired the phaser that managed to catch the supply closet on fire for giving it life. But it didn't care, and, really, it didn't have brains so it couldn't think.:: ::All that mattered was consumption. And quite wonderfully, it had been birthed in a place with plenty of things to consume. It licked hungrily at the chemicals, burning with a
  21. Quick question... I thought I'd seen earlier that you shouldn't post your own simms... Is that still in place? Or did I simply misread? Thanks..
  22. Hrm...I think I see the Admiral's point. After all...If I write the worlds best tragedy....how does that compare to Toni writing the worlds best comedy? For someone to "judge" the work...there has to be some sort of definition to compare. Personally, I like the themes in general. Especially, as some of my RL friends have said, I always come at them from such a strange angle. Still planning on working on the trickster theme...just need two seconds to rub together to write it..
  23. Toni, You missed the point I was trying to make... I would agree that the judges are all very impartial and unbiased. I was trying to say that the people who would vote on the stories would be equally unbiased, as I feel that most people here are. (Was meant as a compliment to everyone in UFOP...not a denigration of our judges.. And I understand your points about self-review...but what I feel works may not work for others...
  24. As for the popularity contest... Part of the voting would be to do the write up of why you voted for who you did. Yes, it does allow for friends to vote for friends. However, and I am not by any means accusing anyone of this, the judges aren't immune to that either... Accepting the above as a negative, the positive would be more feedback. Soo...along these lines...why not have a popular vote with feedback...and an "unbiased" vote from the judges...who aren't required to provide feedback. Also, Toni, what do you mean?
  25. My personal viewpoint on this... I enjoy writing the stories...and it's nice if I win or "runner up".... But for me the real "payout" is the comments after. If we don't want the judges to make a commentary....it feels arbitrary to me. I know it's not having judged once...and trying to decide between two very close stories can be very difficult. But...if they have gone through the process of determining one to be better than the other...they've already got a reason... However, as this is all volunteer...perhaps we should put this back on the people writing. Instead of 3 impartial judges...h
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